Turd on a Stick Turd on a Stick A heartfelt dose of pretension that retains the aesthetic of complete ignorance. Yeah! You wish you were this cool. 
Articles
Walmart?s 2 for 1 Teen Torture Pack
2007-11-10 08:25:00 Tired of those pesky teenagers asking too many questions or disobeying your authority? Check out the Walmart 2 for 1 Teen Torture Pack . When you purchase a set of Mitt Romney Teen Torture Nipple Clamps, you will receive a free copy of The Eagles ’ new album “Long Road out of Eden.” When sending 10,000 watts of common ... More About: Election
Shane Rawley Inspirational Speaker
2007-11-10 04:36:00 Are you in a funk, feeling depressed or just wish that you could lose those extra few pounds? Well, then do we have the solution for you! Shane Rawley, former Major League Baseball pitcher, has been travelling across America spreading his message of hope and positivity. Born in Racine, Wisconsin, the former left handed pitcher can bring joy ... More About: Inspirational , Speaker
Boris voted best rock band again
2007-11-10 04:14:00 Boris has been voted the best rock band on the planet for 1,000th consecutive year by TOAS. If you doubt us we give you exhibit A, Boris with Kurihara Michio giving “Furi” to the the masses in San Francisco. Bookmark to: More About: Band , Rock , Boris , Rock Band
Huckabee, ?Jesus rode a brontosaurus?
2007-11-08 13:21:00 AMHERST, N.H. — During a recent campaign stop, U.S. Republican Presidential candidate Mike Huckabee told reporters that dinosaurs are only 5,000 years old. He continued by saying “what people call the fossil record is really the work of over-imaginative minds.” The conservative politician further added that he doesn’t believe in evolution and Charles Darwin was some ... More About: Jesus , Christian Right , Election
Prince says ?fuck you? to his fans
2007-11-08 03:17:00 The man who etched “slave” on the side of his face in defiance of his supposed enslavement to Warner Brothers now wants to take images and critique off his fans’ websites. A fan group, Prince Fans United, claims the star is trying to “stifle all critical commentary” and he is in “violation of the freedom of ... More About: Turd , Fuck
Eric Clapturd
2007-11-07 10:46:00 We give you slow hand himself, the man who only knows how to play one solo but some how millions of people think he is a good guitarist. Too bad most people don’t know that Jack Bruce wrote all the good songs by Cream. Bookmark to: More About: Eric Clapton
The Cult of Ron Paul
2007-11-06 05:00:00 WASHINGTON D.C. - U.S. Republican presidential candidate Ron Paul has just received an extraordinary outpouring of Internet support Monday by hauling in more than $3.5 million in 20 hours. Paul, the Texas congressman with a Libertarian tilt and an out-of-Iraq pitch, entered heady fundraising territory with a surge of Web-based giving that the mainstream U.S. media ... More About: Bush , Rudy Giuliani , Cult
In Vogue: U.S. Republicans like cross dressing
2007-11-05 03:21:00 Yet another Republican U.S. politician has been busted for not being able to resist the unrelenting homosexual cabal. Washington State Republican Representative Richard Curtis, admitted to having sex with a man he met at an adult video store in Spokane last week, according to a police report released Tuesday afternoon. The police report, filled with numerous ... More About: Republicans , Vogue , Cross , Cross Dressing
Shigeta and Kodama to make crotch shot, panty sniffing robots
2007-11-03 10:18:00 What happens when you pair? You get the enhanced scouting technology of Toyo Shigeta, the master of the “Crotch Shot ,” meeting the stealth maneuvering of the panty stealing construction worker, Shigeo Kodama. Together with Lockwasher Design, they are planning to make the next generation of panty stealing robots, equipped with advanced ... More About: Robots , Maria Sharapova , Make , Robo
Bone Turds-n-Harmony
2007-11-03 07:28:00 Graced with a quick, sometimes sung delivery, Bone Turds -N-Harmony burst out of the Midwest in the mid-’90s with a pair of massive hits, “Turdish Ruggish Bone” and “Tha Turdroads,”along with a great album, Turd 1999 Eternal, and then quickly unraveled. Now the group is back together after the release of their greatest hits, Turd Stories. ...
Perving Shigeta and the Sharapova Crotch Shot
2007-11-02 13:28:00 NEW YORK (AP) The former creative director of the U.S. arm of the Dentsu advertising agency sued the firm Thursday, saying he was pressured to visit a brothel and engage in other sexually explicit activities on company outings and then was fired after he complained about it. In a lawsuit seeking unspecified damages filed in the ... More About: Maria Sharapova , Shot , Hara , Shara
iShat it
2007-11-01 10:15:00 In an effort for us to become lazier, do more drugs and have massive cocaine parties with strippers and whores, Turd on a Stick is giving you, our loyal readers (all 42 of you), a chance to write for our illustrious turd. If you see, read or witness something that makes you think that is ... More About: Turds
Orwell rolls over in his grave and says I was right
2007-10-31 13:03:00 Daniel Estulin, a Madrid-based journalist and an investigative reporter who took on the daunting and dangerous task of researching the Bildeberg Group, has offered his findings in The True Story Of The Bilderberg Group, recently published by Trine Day. What Estulin’s book makes clear is that the group, along with the Council on Foreign Relations ... More About: Grave , Well , Orwell
Oprah admits she is the antichrist
2007-10-30 13:32:00 A tearful Oprah Winfrey has begged forgiveness from parents of girls at her school in South Africa, following allegations of sexual and physical abuse.In an emergency meeting in Henley-on-Klip, south of Johannesburg, Winfrey was visibly distraught at reports that students had been abused by a school matron. “I’ve disappointed you. I’m so sorry. I’m so ... More About: Antichrist
Wankathon III
2007-10-28 11:40:00 Are you a loser, good at masturbating, and can’t play the guitar? Well, then do we have a game for you! Bookmark to:
Obama to dawn black face?
2007-10-22 15:18:00 With his support in the 2008 Democratic U.S. Presidential race dwindling day by day to Hilliary Clinton, Barack Obama is comptemplating dawning black face in the spirit of Lewis Hallam Jr. The move is said to be out of a desire to drum up more support and to also convince the black voters that he ... More About: Black , Election , Face
The fucking monkeys
2007-10-22 11:18:00 Anyone who has ventured to India knows about the monkeys and how much fun they can be to watch after a few joints and some bang lassies. Well, it seems the monkeys have finally struck at humanity by mortally wounding the deputy mayor of Delhi. SS Bajwa died from serious head injuries that he suffered ... More About: Fucking , Monkeys
Harry Potter to burn in hell
2007-10-21 01:32:00 That no good wench J.K. Rowling has just gayified Harry Potter . If it is not the unrelenting secular gay cabal trying to take away the sanctity of marriage, then it is these pansy ass writers from England who glorify homosinuality to America’s youth. It is God’s given right to keep America intolerant and afraid of ... More About: Hell , Burn
An open letter from U.S. Senator Larry Craig
2007-10-19 20:33:00 Dear Friends, You may have been following all the recent news and events about my attempt to retract my guilty plea to disorderly conduct in Minnesota. I have a few things to say about this matter. How is a man suppose to go to the bathroom when there is a lewd fandango going on in the stall ... More About: Open , Larry , Letter , Open Letter , Craig
Britney Spears to introduce her own peanut brittle
2007-10-19 09:33:00 It seems that celebrity endorsement or celebrity owned products have become the rage among the population of the United States, and Britney Spears is no stranger to this. Britney has now begun plans to introduce her own brand of peanut brittle. Bookmark to: More About: Peanut
Bush admits World War III is upon us
2007-10-18 12:00:00 WASHINGTON D.C. - U.S. President George W. Bush said Wednesday that he thought Russia still wanted to stop Iran from developing a nuclear weapon. But stepping up his own rhetoric, the president warned that for Tehran to possess such a weapon raised the risk of a “World War III.” Then Mr. Bush quickly added, “oh yeah, I forgot, phases 1 and 2 [Afghanistan and Iraq] of World War III has already started. The time has come for freedom through slavery, and remember war is peace and ignorance is strength.” Bookmark to:
Blackwater getting the shaft
2007-10-18 09:26:00 The goddamn politicians in Washington and their pussy ass secular politics are letting America down. If it isn’t the Patriot Act being attacked, then it is that hate crime bill not letting good Christians tell their congregations the truth about homosinuality and its unrelenting attack against wholesome Christian values. Now that freaking drag queen Condoleeza Rice wants to pull Blackwater out of Iraq. What’s next Ron Paul winning the presidency and pulling out all America’s troops from overseas. Why don’t the pansies in Washington get some balls and attack Iran. It’s time to kick more Muslim ass and it is America’s God-given right to hold all the oil and put a vice grip around China’s balls. Friends, I am here to tell you that the backbone of America is hatred and fear of the unknown. We got to keep those damn Mexicans from sneaking in. If we cannot use the good Christian services of Blackwater in Iraq anymore, then we should damn well use...
Al Gore to unleash new climate control cars
2007-10-16 20:43:00 NEW YORK - Speaking at a conference for climate change, hot on the heals of his Nobel Peace Prize, Al Gore unveiled his plans for a new climate friendly car, which he plans to call Goredoba. When asked about the similarity in name to Chrysler’s ill-fated Cordoba, Mr. Gore responded by saying “Ricardo Montalban doesn’t have ... More About: Cars , Climate , Control
Eagles to play private London gig
2007-10-13 16:55:00 LONDON — The Eagles will play a one off private concert at the O2 Arena, which has a capacity of 2,300. Described as a “once in a lifetime concert,” the event coincides with the release of the band’s new album Long Turds out of Don Henley’s Ass. In a promo stop for the new album the ... More About: London , Play , Private
Bruce Springsteen?s Anti-Diarrheal Caplets
2007-10-12 15:14:00 Twoh, twoh, twoh, my ass is on fire. Ooo hoo hoo… Bookmark to: More About: Bruce , Bruce Springsteen , Anti , Heal
Bush calls Ron Paul a terrorist
2007-10-11 15:26:00 WASHINGTON D.C. — Addressing the press in the Rose Garden of the White House, U.S. President Bush referred to Ron Paul as a terrorist: Ron Paul talks a big game. He says Constitution this, Constitution that, but what he really wants to do is eliminate our freedom. He is jealous of our freedom and he wants ... More About: Calls , Terrorist
Turd Hotel
2007-10-10 18:45:00 Ask and you shall receive. We give you those wannabe Japanese from Germany. Maybe, they can split a bill the Night Rocker himself David Hasselholff. Bookmark to: More About: Hotel , Turd , David Hasselhoff , Tokio Hotel
A Message of faith from the Reverend Bill T. O?Turdly
More articles from this author:2007-10-10 18:36:00 My Brethren, Wherever we go to preach the Gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ , we enter into spiritual battle. The Bible says that unbelievers are living ?according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air? (Ephesians 2:2, NKJV). It also says that they need to ?escape the snare ... More About: Faith , Message , Bill , Reverend 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 |
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