Turd on a Stick Turd on a Stick A heartfelt dose of pretension that retains the aesthetic of complete ignorance. Yeah! You wish you were this cool. 
Articles
McDonalds is totally backing the Turd now
2007-10-10 01:34:00 Hey kids, isn’t watching TV fun? We give the world’s first pot smoking, obese clown complete with a dixie cup on his nose. Bookmark to: More About: Turd , Donalds , Mcdonalds , Backing , Ally
Romney, Giuliani quarrel over penis size
2007-10-10 01:02:00 DEARBORN, Mich. - Republican presidential hopefuls Mitt Romney and Rudy Giuliani quarreled over their penis sizes Tuesday, each claiming greater commitment than the other in a debate in the nation’s ... More About: Election , Size
American Facism Movement Takes a Beating
2007-10-01 16:19:00 Goddamn judges and their stupid checks and balances bullshit. The Patriot Act was our bread and butter! That candy ass U.S. District Judge Ann Aiken last week ruled that using the Patriot Act to authorize secret searches and seizures to gather criminal evidence violates the constitution or some such liberal flap doodle. The judicial branch of government ... More About: American , Beating
Abraham was a schizophrenic
2007-09-30 19:21:00 God, a voice in Abram’s head, called Abram to go to “the land I will show you”, and promised to bless him and make him (though hitherto childless) a great nation. Trusting this promise, Abram journeyed down to Shechem, and at the sacred tree (compare Genesis 35:4, Joshua 24:26, Judges 9:6) received a new promise ... More About: Abraham , Schizo
Alien bodies discovered under Wright-Patterson Air Force Base Hanger 18
2007-09-29 20:02:00 DAYTON, OHIO - Wright-Patterson Air Force Base has become well-known among UFO researchers and theorists due to its connection with the Roswell incident of July 1947. Rumors over the years have said that wreckage from various UFO crashes have been shipped and placed in and under the infamous Hangar 18 at Wright-Patterson AFB. These rumors ... More About: Mexico , Alien , Air Force , Bodies
Ron Paul is still such an asshole
2007-09-28 20:22:00 If Ron Paul is not saying constitution this constitution that or saying the war in Iraq is illegal or unconstitutional, then he is getting the most campaign contributions from the U.S. military. * Please note Fox News’ attempt to marginalize Ron Paul and the support he actually has. Bookmark to: More About: Asshole , Paul I
Job Opportunities: USA Border Patrol
2007-09-28 15:46:00 Do you like hunting? Do you like hunting real live people? Take command of your career - Go with Border Patrol ! Bookmark to: More About: Opportunities , Unit
The Jews are in it with the Gays and Pedophiles
2007-09-27 15:06:00 America is being attacked from all angles and we need your help to stop it. If it is not the goddamn Arabs, fags or Jews then it is the blacks, or those damn occultists who practice sexual licentiousness-pedophilia and satanic bondage. The homosexual activist movement and organized pedophiles are linked together by a common goal: To ... More About: Jesus , God , Christian Right , Gays
Sex Pistols: ?We?re in it for the money?
2007-09-26 14:06:00 Is that Bozo the Clown or some mentally challenged outpatient from the local mental institution? The original Sex Pistols line up of John Lydon, Steve Jones, Paul Cook and Glen Matlock are so hard up for cash that they are doing yet another comeback tour. When asked for a comment Johnny Rotten gave us this: “I’m ... More About: Money
Vatican warns against buying of relics from Pope John Paul II
2007-09-26 00:20:00 ROME — Much to the objection of the Vatican , the website of the Holy Diocese of Rome has been offering small pieces of Pope John Paul II’s jawbone as part of a campaign to beatify him. However, shortly after the jawbone pieces hit the open market on the internet, the diocese’s site was inundated with requests ... More About: Buying
Turd Blunt
2007-09-24 15:47:00 All the girls swoon over Turd Blunt . Bookmark to: More About: James Blunt
TOAS Haunted House: former U.S. Vice President Henry Wallace rises from the
2007-09-18 17:48:00 At the height of the war against the Axis powers, former U.S. Vice President Henry Wallace was extremely prophetic in the New York Times on April 9, 1944: The really dangerous American fascists are not those who are hooked up directly or indirectly with the Axis. The FBI has its finger on those. The dangerous American fascist is the man who wants to do in the United States in an American way what Hitler did in Germany in a Prussian way. The American fascist would prefer not to use violence. His method is to poison the channels of public information. With a fascist the problem is never how best to present the truth to the public but how best to use the news to deceive the public into giving the fascist and his group more money or more power. Mr. Wallace then bluntly laid out his concern about the same happening here in America in the same article: If we define an American fascist as one who in case of conflict puts money and power ahead of human beings, then there are undoubted... More About: House , Vice President
Chinese man drops dead after viewing Turd on a Stick
2007-09-17 13:28:00 BEIJING - A Chinese man dropped dead after viewing Turd on a Stick for three consecutive days, state media said on Monday as China seeks to wean internet addicts offline. The man from the southern boomtown of Guangzhou, age 30, died on Saturday after being rushed to the hospital from an internet cafe, local authorities were quoted by the Beijing News as saying. “Police have ruled out the possibility of suicide,” the newspaper said, adding that exhaustion and disbelief were the most likely cause of death. The report did not say what TOAS post he was viewing when he died. Bookmark to: More About: Dead , Viewing
Cheney on D.C. Madam?s Phone List
2007-09-16 22:49:00 Is that Papa Cheney or is that Big Dick getting ready for his spanking? It seems that one of our favorite fascists is on Deborah Jeane Palfrey’s list. An extremely knowledgeable source within the CIA has informed TOAS that when Mr. Cheney was not cross dressing with Australian Prime Minister John Howard or sucking King Abdullah’s ... More About: Phone , List , Madam
Robertson: ?Only Muslims get earthquakes?
2007-09-13 16:09:00 In the wake of the three earthquakes that have hit the Indonesian island of Sumatra, U.S. televangelist Pat Robe rtson declared on his 700 Club TV program that “only Muslims get earthquakes.” He continued by saying: No good Christians have ever been caught in earthquakes. Those dirty fag bastards in San Francisco deserved every bit of God’s ... More About: Earthquakes , Christian Right
Pope Benedict XVI the cowboy
2007-09-12 16:30:00 Come on all you young boys! I got drugs and my ass is on fire. Do you want to go to heaven or what? Bookmark to: More About: Cowboy , Pope Benedict X , Gay Pride , Pope , Benedict
The Britney Spears Death Watch
2007-09-12 14:04:00 Destined to be the new Anna Nicole Smith , Britney Spears took to the stage of the 2007 MTV Video Music Awards show performing her new song “Gimme More.” Appearing disengaged and on a shit load of pain killers, the pop star appeared to stop singing altogether several times during her performance. With her fifth studio album ... More About: Watch , Death
New Indiana Jones movie ?Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of Turds?
2007-09-11 13:45:00 NEW YORK (AP) — The title of the new “Indiana Jones” movie, directed by Steven Spielberg and starring Harrison Ford , has been revealed. “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of Turds” will be in theaters May 22, 2008. The title of the long-awaited fourth installment of the adventure series was announced by Shia LaBeouf, who co-stars with ... More About: Movie
So long and thanks for all the cats
2007-09-10 16:34:00 If I could speak cat. I’d say “That’s my fucking pseudonym cat. Fuck off and get your own. Stupid furball.”Next thing you know it’ll have it’s own blog. Probably more popular than TOAS. I can’t wait until they find out that posting video of your cat gives You Tube rights to perform market research on ... More About: Cats , Turds , Long , Hank
This is my cat, keep watching, keep watching, Turd Furgeson plays fetch
2007-09-10 15:53:00 Pretty disturbing… Bookmark to: More About: Turds , Turd , Watching , Plays , Fetch
The Petraeus Report
2007-09-10 15:29:00 WASHINGTON D.C. –This week, the top US commander in Iraq, General David Petraeus , will give evidence about the war in Iraq in person to Congress. President George W Bush will later lie in a formal report on the performance of the Iraqi government (or lack of) in meeting US-set benchmarks for political reconciliation. The most ... More About: Report
Karl Rove is now running spin for bin-Laden
2007-09-09 17:33:00 WASHINGTON D.C. — Sources close to Karl Rove have informed TOAS that Karl Rove has accepted a position within Al-Queda. The former adviser to U.S. President Bush is reportedly now working on global strategy and public relations in order to help improve the Islamic Extremists’ image across the globe. According to an unidentified source, Mr. Rove’s ... More About: Running , Hillary Clinton , Election
South Korean President No Tells Bush to stop being a menace on the Korean P
2007-09-07 14:00:00 SYDNEY — Fresh off from freeing his idiotic compatriots, who tried to introduce Christianity into a 99% Muslim country, South Korea n President No Moo-hyun ended his talks with U.S. President Bush on a sour note Friday not over the war in Iraq , but rather the Korean conflict that ended with a truce more than ...
Ron Paul is such an asshole
2007-09-06 15:46:00 He’s always on about why believe someone that lied again and again? Like that question really means anything. Then he’s all constitution this, and constitution that, like a pot smokin communist hippie freak. But what pisses me off most is the way he got a bunch of left wing populist groups to infiltrate the Republocrat debates and cheer his spew about OH!… ‘let the people that represent the people take a role in shaping foreign policy’ psycho babble. Why the hell does he always answer ‘terrorism’ questions by pointing to the source of terrorism like some kind of smart ass? Did you know his grandmother used to give cookies to a muslim baby when they lived in the vilage? Unpatriotic to say the least. Powered by ScribeFire. Bookmark to: More About: Ron Paul , Paul , Asshole , Paul I
Legalize It - and - I’ll Advertise it…
2007-09-06 14:55:00 Opium production in Afghanistan is kicking ass and all with the help of strategic U.S. Military intervention. Way to go white house for keeping the generals out of their own affairs. Put those losers in the Pentagon in charge of Afghanistan and there’d be fuck all smack to go around! Powered by ScribeFire. Bookmark to: More About: Advertise , Vert
The First Time I ever Saw Your Face
2007-09-06 14:53:00 Always trying to find the undiscovered talents of the drag karaoke scene we give you The First Time I ever Saw Your Face . Bookmark to: More About: First Time
Order your Klansman statue today
2007-09-06 11:32:00 KKK.com has ceramic statues of Klan sman that are 10 inches tall with a fine gloss glaze, which includes a blood drop logo that is applied after the glazing process. The blood drop signifies the Klu Klux Klan’s (self-proclaimed pure white inbred) blood heritage and the sacrificial blood of Christ that redeemed them from their sins. They are hand made one at a time by a bunch of pure white, Jew and nigger hating inbred retarded 12 year olds, who still cannot distinguish the difference between the plural you and “yous all.” The statue comes with or without lighted eyes and makes a nice display item and is also great as a gift or collectors item. The lighted statues come with on/off switch and light bulb. When placing your order please be sure to remember the KKK’s message: “Our Entire Group of Sites are Family and Christian Friendly” Order yours today! Supplies are limited! lb Bookmark to: More About: Statue , Today
Howard to suck Bush?s cock
2007-09-05 19:34:00 SYDNEY — At a joint news conference, Mr Howard (on his knees from under the podium) pledged support for the Iraq mission, while Mr Bush told journalists he thought Mr Howard was great at giving head. Mr Bush also addressed America’s “complex” ties with China and hit out at Burma’s military leaders. ... More About: Australia , John Howard , Suck
Turd Eye Blind
More articles from this author:2007-09-04 00:57:00 Falling between Hootie & the Turd fish and Shit, Turd Eye Blind ’s catchy and melodic post-grunge made the group’s first single, “Semi-Turd Life,” into a hit in the spring of 1997. Bookmark to: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 |
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