Turd on a Stick Turd on a Stick A heartfelt dose of pretension that retains the aesthetic of complete ignorance. Yeah! You wish you were this cool. Articles
Rihanna admits that she really is an avatar.
2007-08-15 08:09:00 Rihanna has finally admitted that she is in fact a computer avatar, which was created by a horny teenager as his identity photo for a message board on realgm.com. Bookmark to: More About: Rihanna , Avatar , Hanna , Ally
Tim Hardaway identified as recipient as Bob Allen?s blow job
2007-08-14 11:01:00 ORLANDO, FL - “The pretty stocky black guy,” who Bob Allen gave a blow job and $20 to, has been identified. Police in Titusville, Florida have confirmed that former NBA star Tim Hardaway was the recipient of Allen’s blow job. When reached for a comment Hardaway again reiterated: You know, I hate gay people, so I ... More About: Blow Job , Reci
Satan incarnated finally to leave the White House
2007-08-14 08:07:00 WASHINGTON - Karl Rove, Satan himself, the political mastermind behind US President George W. Dumbass’ races for the White House , who also served as a chief adviser to President Dumbass in his pure destruction of America’s international reputation over the past 6 1/2 years, has announced his resignation Monday, ending a partnership stretching back more ... More About: White House , Leave
Bob Seger Silver Bullets
2007-08-14 02:43:00 Used and endorsed by rock legend Bob Seger Bookmark to: More About: Silver , Bullets , Silver Bullet
Romney gets off torturing teens
2007-08-13 10:05:00 When Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney said he?d support doubling the size of the prison at Guantanamo Bay, he was trying to show voters that he?d be tough on terror and on those meddling teenagers. Two of his top fundraisers, however, have long supported using tactics that have been likened to torture for troubled teenagers. As ... More About: Bush , Teens , Election
Christian Family Values in action: church cancels gay veterans memorial ser
2007-08-12 08:18:00 ARLINGTON, TX - High Point Church canceled a US Navy veteran’s memorial service 24 hours before it was to start because the deceased was gay. Officials at the church knew that Cecil Howard Sinclair was gay when they offered to host his service, said his sister, Kathleen Wright. But after his obituary listed his life partner ... More About: Christian , Family , Action , Christian Right
Thank You Mircoshit
2007-08-11 11:54:00 We would like to take this time to thank any visitor who visits our page using Microsoft Internet Explorer . In an attempt to get Turd on a Stick more Internet Explorer compliant, we have been under going an overall and maintenance of our layout, in order to give the same turdy appearance to both our Firefox ... More About: Turds , Mirc , Hank
US Senate and House of Representives to give free blow jobs to large black
2007-08-11 05:47:00 Florida State Rep. Bob Allen has proposed new legislation that would require all US congressmen and US Senators to give blow jobs to rather large and stocky black men. In a recent police interview Mr. Allen said: This was a pretty stocky black guy, and there was nothing but other black guys around in the park,…[I] ... More About: House , Jobs , Free , Black , Senate
Amercian pitcher becomes the first pitcher busted using giraffe shit
2007-08-11 04:06:00 TOKYO (AP) — A former Triple-A pitcher from California has become the first player in Japanese baseball history to flunk a drug test. Rick Guttormson, who played in the San Diego and Seattle minor league systems, was suspended for 20 days Friday after testing positive for a banned substance. His team, the Fukuoka SoftBank Hawks, ... More About: Shit , Busted , Gira , Pitcher , Merc
Thank You Micro-SHAFT
2007-08-07 15:58:00 This maintenance brought to you by Micro soft Explorer - only 3-4 years behind Firefox. Thankyou Microshaft for being just good enough that most people don’t bother doing anything about it. Bookmark to: More About: Hank
TOAS maintenance under way
2007-08-07 11:02:00 Well, we are now trying to rectify the top margin problem that we had in Internet Explorer. Please bear with us now. We will get it rectified as soon as we can. For the moment, enjoy the crappy version of TOAS that is truly a turd on a stick. Apologies, Bill O’Turdly Bookmark to: More About: Maintenance , Under , Tena
Dumbass Koreans picket US embassy as both Bush and Karzai say ?oh shit, the
2007-08-06 11:26:00 SEOUL - The gloomy weather seems to reflect the mood of many South Koreans as they wait to hear the fate of the 21 hostages still being held by the Taleban in Afghanistan . The captives’ plight has become a national obsession. It is the top story on television and radio and on the front pages ... More About: Bush , Shit , Dumbass , Embassy
The TOAS Poll
2007-08-05 09:49:00 We had 25 people (group A) poll 25 people (group B) about how they feel being polled, and then we had the 25 people who asked the poll questions (group B), polled by a new set of 25 people (group C). The subject of this poll was about what it is like to poll people. ... More About: Poll
Now, a public service message
2007-08-05 05:52:00 Men should not let other men wear white belts. Bookmark to: More About: Public Service , Public , Service , Message , Mess
Vitter the Shitter
2007-08-04 02:32:00 WASHINGTON DC - U.S. Senator David Vitter (R-La.), known affectionately by all whores as “Vitter the Shitter,” has apologized after his telephone number appeared atop the phone records of the woman dubbed the “D.C. Madam,” making him the first member of Congress to become ensnared in the high-profile case. The statement containing Vitter’s apology said his ...
Bush declares war on war
2007-08-02 14:24:00 WASHINGTON DC - U.S. President George W. Bush declared war on the word war, but then realised that he was meant to reconfirm the U.S. war against drugs. Bush then stated, “Shit, there is so many goddamn wars I cannot remember what the hell each war is for.” No one can implore Mr. Bush to ... More About: Ares , Clar
Give your money to a scoundrel and help Christian fascist America move forw
2007-08-01 09:53:00 Our good Christian buddy Tom DeLay needs your help. It seeems that those damn secular liberal pansies have railroaded one of our great leaders. You might remember Tom’s great words from April 12, 2002 at the “World Weekend” conference at the First Baptist Church in Peerland, Teaxas: Ladies and gentlemen, Christianity offers the only viable, reasonable, ... More About: America , Money , Move , Give
Lionel Richie Cough Drops
2007-07-31 09:08:00 We gonna jumba jumba all night… Bookmark to: More About: Lionel Richie , Cough , Lionel , Drop
Bush and Brown vow to work together or else Rice will bite Brown?s dick off
2007-07-31 06:28:00 WASHINGTON DC - US President George W Bush and UK PM Gordon Brown have held their first formal talks, renewing pledges to fight terrorism and seek progress in Iraq. Mr Brown said both nations had duties and responsibilities in Iraq, and that he would seek military advice before announcing any changes in policy. The pair ... More About: Condoleezza Rice , Work , Rice
South Park to use Sam Brownback in a soon to be aired new episode
2007-07-30 07:39:00 DENVER, CO - South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone have disclosed a new story line that involves U.S. Preseidential hopeful Sam Brownback in a soon to be aired epsiode. In a recent interview, Parker said that the hit show plans to revisit an old and forgotten story line, Getting Gay with Kids is Cool, ... More About: Episode
Barry Bonds admits his head is bigger than the whole Grapefruit League
2007-07-29 10:23:00 On the eve of Barry Bonds breaking Major League Baseball’s home run record, we give you conclusive evidence that Bonds is on steroids. It is time or MLB to recognize the real home run king: Sadaharu Oh who hit 868 home runs. Bookmark to: More About: Head , Whole
The Oak Ridge Turds
2007-07-28 08:50:00 Is that the cast of Full House sans the Olsen Twins? Now appearing at a second rate casino near you: The O ak Ridge Turds ! ”I’ll Be True to You” “Come on In” “You’re the One.” Bookmark to: More About: Christian Right
The Face of Satan Unveiled: The Furry Grim Reaper
2007-07-28 02:50:00 PROVIDENCE, R.I. - The face of Satan has been seen at an home for the elderly in Providence, Rhodes Island. Oscar the cat (Satan himself) seems to have an uncanny knack for predicting when nursing home patients are going to die, by curling up next to them during their final hours. His accuracy, observed in 25 ... More About: Face , Furry , Grim Reaper , Reaper
Our Man Sam Brownback has befriended TOAS
2007-07-27 11:09:00 We are delighted to tell you, our secular trash cabal, that our man Sam Brownback , himself has befriended TOAS on Myspace. We are in this together now for a safer, whiter, intorelant, ignorant, white, Christian America. So, go get your free Brownback bracelet, show your support and be a good Christian soldier! Bookmark to:
Pope Benedict XVI Hemorrhoidal Suppositories
2007-07-26 11:07:00 The only hemorrhoidal suppositories with the Papal seal of approval. Bookmark to: More About: Pope , Sito , Posi , Benedict , Pope Benedict
Lohan Again Expresses Her Desire to Star in a Lesbian Jailhouse Porn Film
2007-07-25 08:59:00 LOS ANGELES — Lindsay Lohan was arrested again for drinking and driving. The 21 year old star was pulled over by police offices in Santa Monica, California. She already faces a drunk driving charge in Beverely Hills when her 2005 Mercedes SL-65 convertible struck a curb, and investigators found what they believed was cocaine. After her ... More About: Film , Lesbian , Star , Ouse
Hellsong
2007-07-24 07:34:00 Get your McDonald’s salt packets ready for your blessing! We give you Hellsong, Australia ’s largest growing evangelical church. Bookmark to: More About: Christian Right
How do you say dumb ass: Korean Missionaries
2007-07-23 15:11:00 KABUL - Taleban rebels have taken 23 Kore an missionaries hostage in an attempt to free Taleban prisoners from the Afghan government. What we don’t know is why the hell would anyone be stupid enough to try and convert people to Christianity in Afghanistan . Leave it to Korean evangelists to try it, and that they did. ... More About: Dumb , Missionaries
We?re Going to Hell because We Are Prententious Ignorant Atheists
2007-07-23 07:30:00 We are so excited to inform you, our unrelenting secular trash cabal, that we have been condemned to hell and called pretentious, ignorant, atheists! And, please remember that before you read any content on Turd on a Stick to say this prayer to the Lord: IN JESUS NAME, I BIND UP EVERY DEMON COMING ACROSS THE COMPUTER ... More About: Hell , Atheists , Tent , Going , Theist
The World?s Biggest Penis
More articles from this author:2007-07-23 07:02:00 DUBAI, United Arab Emirates - Developers of a 1,680-foot penis still under construction in oil-rich Dubiai claimed Saturday that it has become the world’s tallest phallus, surpassing Taiwan’s Taipei 101 which had been the world’s largest penis since 2004. The Burj Dubai is expected to be finished by the end of 2008 and its planned ... More About: World , The World , Penis 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 |
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