Turd on a Stick Turd on a Stick A heartfelt dose of pretension that retains the aesthetic of complete ignorance. Yeah! You wish you were this cool. 
Articles
Men Playing Video Games in Nevada to Destroy and Kill Iraqis
2007-07-16 08:52:00 BALAD AIR BASE, Iraq - The airplane is the size of a jet fighter, powered by a turboprop engine, able to fly at 300 mph and reach 50,000 feet. It’s outfitted with infrared, laser and radar targeting, and with a ton and a half of guided bombs and missiles. The Reaper is loaded, but there’s no ... More About: Video , Video Games , Nevada , Games
Insults That Make No Sense
2007-07-14 01:56:00 Our man T. Furgeson recently received this one from a Ms. Lynelle Bryant from Baptists for Brownback. I guess you think you are pretty cute calling our site a turd. I have news for you YOU ARE NOT. If I wasn’t a christian and a lady I would just bend over after taking a dump and tell you to KISS MY A$$! Leave us alone you heathen Bookmark to: More About: Sense , Make , Sens , Insults , Insult
Mohammed’s Last Words
2007-07-14 01:45:00 Damn it! Would you stop drawing pictures of me! I never want to see them ever again! Bookmark to: More About: Words , Mohammed
Mexican Man Receives a Message from Jesus
2007-07-12 10:53:00 Miguel Antonio del Chavez of Guadalupe, Mexico has recently received a message from Jesu s Christ, while he has cleaning a statue of Jesus in his local church. Mr. Chavez was able to recount what Jesus said: I was just a rebel Jew who was opposed to the existing Jewish aristocracy and the Roman governing of ... More About: Mexican , Message , Mess
Let?s Bring Peace and Freedom to Azerbaijan
2007-07-12 07:35:00 When the US Army was making plans for its ultra cool future force, it needed to invade and occupy a country in its war games, to model how all the new tanks, robots, and fighting vehicles might perform. More about that at the Danger Room. That country, oddly enough, was Azerbaijan . They might have terrorists. There ... More About: Freedom , Peace
Disney to Recast A Christmas Carol
2007-07-11 08:33:00 Well, it seems that Disney does read TOAS and has taken our view point into account. After considering their plans to remake “A Christmas Carol” with Jim Carrey playing Ebenezer Scrooge and the ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future, Disney has decided to pull the plug on the casting of Jim Carrey. In a statement, ... More About: Bush , Iraq , Iran , Saddam Hussein
Turd on a Stick - Dirty Tree Fucker Threat
2007-07-11 07:49:00 Don’t Fear the Esoterics: For fans of electric mouth harp music, Turd on a Stick ’s - Dirty Tree Fucker Threat is a gift that’s long overdue. TOAS’s fourth album gracefully glides over the same sonic ground that their contemporaries generally tread with reverential obedience or dilettante tactics. Growing into their prodigious own at the ...
Furgeson?s Favorite Fascists - Baptists for Brownback 2008
2007-07-10 07:25:00 Hi there, are you all having a wonderful morning basking in the sunlight of our Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ? I wanted to take this opportunity to begin a new segment entitled Furgeson’s Favor ite Fascists . I’m going to dedicate how ever much time I feel necessary to those out there that strive to make America a ... More About: Brownback , Baptists
The Most Expensive Turds in the Universe!
2007-07-09 14:57:00 No fooling! NASA just bought a toilet system for $19,000,000! That means there will be turds in space worth more than a four bedroom home. So hey, all you miserable Americans moping around because you don’t have any access to health care, rejoice! Astraunauts can drink their own urine while floating in space and it’s yummy. Now isn’t ... More About: Universe , Turds , Most Expensive , Univ , The Universe
I?ve Been Called a Turd
2007-07-08 07:49:00 This is awesome. I have finally been called by my proper name: Turd . It seems that there is a debate on whether the music press and music criticism is better in the United States or in the United Kingdom and yours truly has been called a turd and his opinion labeled as WTF! Anyway, here is ... More About: Been
Mushrooms Become Source for Eco-building
2007-07-08 04:15:00 TROY, N.Y. -Two Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute graduates have created an organic building insulation out of mushrooms grown under their beds, and then a stoned next door neighbor ate their house in an attempt to get high. Bookmark to: More About: Building , Mushrooms , Source , Mush
Like We Need This
2007-07-08 01:50:00 Jim Carrey is now set to play Ebenezer Scrooge and the ghosts of Christmas past, present and future in the 100th remake of “A Christmas Carol ” by Charles Dickens. The “funny” man is best known for his various facial contortions and being a higher paid version of Jerry Lewis, except that he never had a ... More About: Disney , Jim Carrey , Like
Bush To Pardon Dick Cheney?s Bitch
2007-07-05 10:33:00 WASHINGTON D.C . - After communting Lewis “Scooter Libby’s jail sentence, US President George W. Bush has not ruled out the possiblity of pardoning US Vice President Dick Cheney ’s bitch. Before being pardoned, Libby must pay a $250,ooo fine and serve 2 years probation. In a statement, Bush reiterated that Libby’s punishment was “severe” and ... More About: Bitch
Once Thought Endangered Species Is Found in Sydney
2007-07-05 10:08:00 SYDNEY - Social Antropologists have recently discovered what was once thought an endagered species of humans: the goths. One unnamed researcher said “it was like discovering a time capsule,” while another described the unexpected find as “shocking, I can’t believe that people still wear Ian Curtis, Joy Division, Bauhaus and Love and Rockets t-shirts.” Furthermore, another ... More About: Sydney , Thought , Endangered Species , Endangered , Once
?Wiki How? let me down again
2007-06-27 07:22:00 I can’t tell you how excited i was when i saw this headline in my RSS thing: How to Make Bowls out of Vinyl Records Don’t get excited it’s not what you think. Well it might be if you want to toss a salad. No not that but… Here’s the How to’s that I’d like to see: How to ... More About: Turds , Wiki
The Greatest Lie Ever Told: ?God Loves Everyone.?
2007-06-25 14:07:00 Yeah, well no shit! God only loves white people who are fascists. Furthermore, if you are gay, Arabic, not a ne0-conservative or just simply not inept, then he hates you too. I always thought that religion was a private enterprise. So, if you are dumb, stupid or simply a homophobic racist, The Westboro Baptist Church is ... More About: Everyone , Told , The G , Greatest
Return to Sound Values
2007-06-20 07:57:00 Are you disgusted with a liberal party that blames America first? Are you fed up with bureaucrats who want to keep your kids in failing schools? Are you outraged with liberal activist judges who ban the Pledge of Allegiance in public schools and oppose any mention of God in public life? Tired of the liberal politics of dividing ... More About: Sound , Return , Values , Value , Turn
Hasselhoff Swears, ?The Booze Helped?
2007-06-19 10:01:00 David Hasselhoff (aka Night Rocker) fell off the wagon during a custody hearing. Was so wasted that his 16 year old taped him fumbling with a cheeseburger off the floor. He still won custody. Pamela Bach must come off as a stone cold bitch in the courtroom. Or perhaps Hasselhoff bribed the judge with a ... More About: Booze , David Hasselhoff , Wear , Ears
Turd Supply
2007-06-19 02:48:00 Those soft rock renegades from Down Under… Bookmark to: More About: Turd
Paris Hilton Reveals a Glimpse of Her Book About Her Jail Experience
2007-06-15 07:24:00 Haha! Made you Look! Thank you for the Turd on a Stick. Book mark to: More About: Paris Hilton , Experience , Paris , Hilton
For Those Secret Adrian Zmed Fans
2007-06-15 02:50:00 For those secret Adrian Zmed fans that find us on google, we give you this. Adrian Zmed at the height of his career. Bookmark to: More About: Fans , Secret
The United States does not conduct or condone torture
2007-06-08 09:08:00 This article from People’s Daily Online. Images from Anti-War. Six human rights groups urged the US government yesterday to name and explain the whereabouts of 39 people they said were believed to have been held in US custody and “disappeared.” The report said suspects’ relatives, including children as young as seven, had been held in secret detention ... More About: United States , United , Torture , States , The United States
Now another Word from Our Sponsers
2007-06-07 06:40:00 I went to Venezuela and all I got was this lousy t-shirt. Bookmark to: More About: Word
Two Sides of William Jefferson?s Simple Story
2007-06-05 18:34:00 FOXNews?: Congressman William Jefferson Indicted on Bribery Charges RNA: U.S. congressman indicted on bribery charges, faces 235 years FOXNews?: A federal grand jury on Monday indicted Louisiana Democratic Rep. William Jefferson on 16 charges relating to a long-running investigation into bribery, racketeering, obstruction of justice and money laundering. RNA: A federal grand jury in the town of Alexandria, ... More About: Story , Fox News , Sides , Simple
A Dangerous, Dangerous Man
2007-06-01 18:10:00 Our country cannot afford people to have right toght to choose to end their own lives! Dr. Kevorkian, also widley known as Dr. Death ( a pseudonynm he never gave himself) is very near the end of his sentence. This foul beast is about to be released from prison after doing, well nothing really, but providing a ... More About: Dangerous
Paul Shoots, Paul Scores
2007-06-01 09:04:00 OOOh paul you smooth devil you. If you remember a couple weeks back Paul Wolfowitz responded to a letter from a lonely woman without writing skills. He must of said the right words, cause she’s interested. thanks for the beautiful things u said about me i really like it…i will like u to add me ok so ... More About: Cores , Shoots , Scores , Shoot
TOAS - A True Socialist Story
2007-05-29 07:13:00 At this point you are probably wondering why we haven’t paid out any Socialists or Marxists, and it is a good question. It seems that we have over looked the whole pamphlet giving, frail, pasty skinned pinko crowd. Don’t worry, we just overlooked this all too easy target. While I was walking about on King ... More About: Iraq , Story , Australia , Sydney , John Howard
Frame Bill O?Reilly and Win a Free Trip to Thailand
2007-05-28 08:07:00 We here at Turd on a Stick are offering you free airfare to Bangkok, Thailand . All you have to do is frame Bill O ’Reilly in a cheap hotel room with at least an eight ball of cocaine, two prostitutes and some animals of your choice preforming lewd and obscene sexual acts. The winner will receive free airfare ... More About: Free , Trip
Lindsay Lohan to Star in Jailhouse Porn Film?
More articles from this author:2007-05-28 01:46:00 LOS ANGELES — Lindsay Lohan was arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence Saturday after her 2005 Mercedes SL-65 convertible struck a curb, and investigators found what they believed was cocaine at the scene, police said. After her arrest, TOAS gained and exclusive statement from Miss Lohan’s publicist that said “Miss Lohan is so desperately ... More About: Film , Star 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 |
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