Turd on a Stick Turd on a Stick A heartfelt dose of pretension that retains the aesthetic of complete ignorance. Yeah! You wish you were this cool. 
Articles
Obama Black Face
2009-09-22 10:28:00 Are you a white wannabe neocon afraid of losing voters, or a tool controlled by the Federal Reserve ? If so, do we have the answer for you! Obama Black Face ! Call 1-800-BOMB-SWAT now! Supply is limited. Purchase your Obama Black face today and keep the African-American population and the guilty feeling white American population hoodwinked for another 3 ... More About: Turds
Seven former CIA heads are better than one
2009-09-21 03:16:00 Amidst accusations that the CIA brutalized, tortured and mistreated terror suspects in its custody, count them, seven former CIA chiefs have come out to try and stop US Attorney General Eric Holder’s attempt to probe these accusations. Former CIA head, William Webster who served from 1987 to 1991, stated, “do you know who you are fucking ... More About: Turds , Fucking , Heads , Kissinger
Back by popular demand?
2009-09-20 15:12:00 The Dancing Midget getting his groove on to Tupac. More About: Popular , Back
Obama calls himself a jackass
2009-09-19 13:04:00 WASHINGTON D.C. — After a lunch time public address today at the White House Press Room, President Obama fielded several questions ranging from his proposed health care plan, the war on drugs and the war on terror. When asked directly about America’s foreign policy and its dependency on oil, President Obama had no comment. However, ... More About: Vietnam , Pakistan , Calls , Jackass
Be Careful of Buzz Aldrin
2009-08-29 04:23:00 Be careful when a U.S. astronaut gives you a moon rock. It may be just petrified wood or it may contain the H1N1 (Swine Flu). In what would seem an isolated case, former Dutch Prime Minister Willem Drees received a piece of petrified wood instead of a moon rock from Buzz Aldrin. Then some 45 ... More About: Careful , Buzz Aldrin
Dr. Death: Henry Kissinger
2009-08-27 13:20:00 By popular demand, we give you America’s favorite Nazi: Henry Kissinger . Now, we can only hope that this fucker gets tried for war crimes! More About: Turds , Death
Millions of African Americans cannot recognize an Uncle Tom
2009-03-01 00:26:00 WASHINGTON D.C. — It apparently seems that millions of African Americans cannot recognize an actual Uncle Tom when they see one. After many years of falsely accusing sports stars and celebrities who actually give back to the African American community, black Americans have been hood-winked by sleek talking elitist who is controlled by the international ... More About: Will Smith , Celebrities , New World Order , Millions
Hey ladies, free oral sex!
2009-01-18 05:35:00 For all you ladies out there who are just not satisfied, we here at TOAS are offering free oral sex provided by non other than George Kistner, a man whose favorite things is to give women head. If you don’t believe us check out George’s own words: I am a man whose favorite thing to do ... More About: Free , Turds , Signs , Pride , Ladies
Muntadar al-Zaidi, 2008 Man of the Year
2008-12-15 06:13:00 We here at Turd on a Stick are jealous of Muntadar al-Zaidi. Our only wish is that he could have connected with one of those shoes. Kudos! More About: Bush , Iraq , Turds , Man of the Year , Year
McCain?s You Tube Problem
2008-10-29 05:35:00 In case you’re still undecided here’s a handful of examples of McCain straight talk. Poor old guy just isn’t ready for a world with You Tube . He might not sound “just like Hitler,” but he just can’t help contradicitng himself while speaking to an audience! More About: Election , Problem
Huckabee spotted on hotchickswithdouchebags.com
2008-02-12 06:49:00 LOS ANGELES — Mike Huckabee has a secret life that he is not telling his followers. The Christian fascist was spotted at a trendy LA night club shirtless, with a tie and two “Christian soldiers” on his arms. As reported on hotchickswithdouchebags.com: Shirtlessness. It’s what’s for douchebags. More About: Election
Carlos Turdtana
2008-02-10 03:37:00 While George Harrison had a guitar that gently weeps, Carlos Santana’s guitar is so dry that it drips sand.
The turd of the U.S. Government
2008-02-05 08:04:00 Without question… More About: Bush , Government , Turd
Man loses boxing match to 12 pack of beer
2008-02-02 13:33:00 In honor of idiocy, we give you this gem! More About: Boxing , Beer , Match , Pack
Morrissey is not gay!
2008-01-28 03:27:00 With legions of female fans, sensitive male fans who can recite all the lyrics to every Smiths’ song, perfectly styled hair (the likes of which we haven’t seen since Roger Moore’s cheesey James Bond days), and properly ironed and pressed clothing, Morrissey is a shinning beacon of heterosexuality. Andrew Winters, a lifelong Morrissey fan and Morrissey’s ...
Bill O?Turdly under fire
2008-01-24 04:40:00 It seems that there has been a lot of activity on the web defaming one Mr. Bill O ’Turdly and his oh-so-scientific methods and his report on current ground breaking research in male baldness. More About: Fire
Britney Spears, the new Anna Nicole
2008-01-06 12:58:00 As we all know Britney Spears was hospitalized late last week, after the pop star locked herself in a room with one of her children at her L.A. home and refused to hand him over to her ex-husband Kevin Federline. But, what the public doesn’t know is what the former pop queen told police officers when ... More About: Anna Nicole , Anna
The 2008 Nick Nolte look alike contest winner
2008-01-04 07:48:00 TUSCON, Arizona - Giving new meaning to an ex-girlfriend with an axe to grind, Kumari Fullbright, who won the 2008 first annual Nick Nolte look alike contest, has been accused of holding and torturing her 24-year-old ex-boyfriend in early December with the help of three other men, including another man she had previously dated. The law ... More About: Contest , Winner , Nick Nolte
Huckabee vows to force intelligent design upon America
2008-01-04 07:37:00 DES MOINES, IOWA - Hot on the heels of his victory in the Iowa Caucus, Mike Huckabee has declared “a new day is needed in America n politics, just like a new day is needed in American government.” He continued by telling supporters: It starts here, but it doesn’t end here. It goes all the way through ... More About: Intelligent Design , Design , Republican
No love for Satan?
2007-12-29 05:17:00 It has come to the attention of Turd on a Stick that no sports stars are giving thanks to the dark under lord Satan . After almost every goal or touchdown, it seems that modern sports stars give thanks and praise to God by either kissing a cross pendant on their necklaces or they kneel down ... More About: Sports , Jesus , Love
Put the X back in Xmas
2007-12-25 06:53:00 Christmas is a time of year to shop and consume, and little baby Jesus in that manger would suck on the Virgin Mary’s tit. The three wise men (the three stars in the constellation Orion’s belt) had nothing better to do than wonder around at night and find some illegitimate child to give gifts to. ... More About: Back , Xmas
Led Turdelin
2007-12-24 12:22:00 After their December 10th London, O2 Arena show, we have to wonder what kind of black magic Jimmy Page has spun out to the world or how much money Led Zeppelin ’s public relations people used to pay off the press. Robert Plant couldn’t hit the notes and Jason Bonham just blows and isn’t even close ...
Why No Americans Read The Economist
2007-12-22 15:13:00 How the fuck are you supposed to feel good about not having enough tax dollars left over for health care when you read garbage like this? The hope (once shared, we admit, by this newspaper) that the West’s armies could return swiftlyhome and leave good order behind them was naive. Saddam Hussein and the Taliban ran ... More About: Economist , Iraq , Afghanistan , Fox News , Read
Communists have no sense of humor
2007-12-19 03:12:00 PHILADELPHIA - Researchers at the University of Pennsylvania have found that communists have no sense of humor. The study, which was carried out over a 3 year period on 1,000 known communists, used common jokes, satire and even had subjects make their own jokes. After all the data was collected, the researchers then did ... More About: Humor , Sense , Communists
Former NFL player Tony Siragusa eats Kofi Annan
2007-12-13 07:01:00 Former American football player and current TV analyst Tony “The Goose” Siragusa, upset at the United Nations’ attempt to reign in U.S. hegemony, apparently decided to take action into his own hands and has eaten former United Nations Chief Kofi Annan . However, Mr. Siragusa, a native of Keniloworth, New Jersey, was confused and did not know ... More About: Player
Hell with NASCAR, Ron Paul has a blimp
2007-12-12 11:25:00 While fellow Republican presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee has incorporated NASCAR into his campaign and Mitt Romney has tried to use (not quite) subliminal messages in his campaign, Ron Paul ’s supporters will use a blimp to garner support for Ron Paul in the upcoming New Hampshire U.S. Presidential primary. Paul’s campaign plans to fly the blimp along ... More About: Nascar , Election , Hell
Huckabee, AIDS kills fags dead
2007-12-12 09:26:00 U.S. Republican Presidential candidate Mike Huckabee is not backing away from quotes about homosexuality that he made in 1992 while running for the U.S. Senate. Instead, he has upped the ante so to speak. Get your “AIDS Kills Fags Dead ” t-shirts and remember homosexuality is an aberrant, unnatural, and sinful lifestyle. We need to take steps ... More About: Election
Whitney Housturd releases the Holiday Turd
2007-12-11 11:01:00 Still looking for that holiday gift for that special someone? Well, look no further! Whiteny Housturd’s One Wish, The Holiday Turd is jammed pack with all of her Christmas favorites like One Wish (For Crack Cocaine), and Have Yourself a Coked Up Christmas. More About: The Holiday , Whitney
The Iranian Two for One Deal
More articles from this author:2007-12-11 09:54:00 Are you tired of waiting for that war in Iran or just simply confused about why Iran is an enemy of America and cannot have a nuclear program to meet its energy needs? Well, do we have the solution for you! Back in 1976, during the Gerald Ford presidency, with Dick Cheney as chief of staff and ... More About: Deal , Iranian , Rani 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 |
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