Turd on a Stick Turd on a Stick A heartfelt dose of pretension that retains the aesthetic of complete ignorance. Yeah! You wish you were this cool. Articles
Huckabee spotted on hotchickswithdouchebags.com
2008-02-12 06:49:00 LOS ANGELES — Mike Huckabee has a secret life that he is not telling his followers. The Christian fascist was spotted at a trendy LA night club shirtless, with a tie and two “Christian soldiers” on his arms. As reported on hotchickswithdouchebags.com: Shirtlessness. It’s what’s for douchebags. More About: Election
Carlos Turdtana
2008-02-10 03:37:00 While George Harrison had a guitar that gently weeps, Carlos Santana’s guitar is so dry that it drips sand.
The turd of the U.S. Government
2008-02-05 08:04:00 Without question… More About: Bush , Government , Turd
Man loses boxing match to 12 pack of beer
2008-02-02 13:33:00 In honor of idiocy, we give you this gem! More About: Boxing , Beer , Match , Pack
Morrissey is not gay!
2008-01-28 03:27:00 With legions of female fans, sensitive male fans who can recite all the lyrics to every Smiths’ song, perfectly styled hair (the likes of which we haven’t seen since Roger Moore’s cheesey James Bond days), and properly ironed and pressed clothing, Morrissey is a shinning beacon of heterosexuality. Andrew Winters, a lifelong Morrissey fan and Morrissey’s ...
Bill O?Turdly under fire
2008-01-24 04:40:00 It seems that there has been a lot of activity on the web defaming one Mr. Bill O ’Turdly and his oh-so-scientific methods and his report on current ground breaking research in male baldness. More About: Fire
Britney Spears, the new Anna Nicole
2008-01-06 12:58:00 As we all know Britney Spears was hospitalized late last week, after the pop star locked herself in a room with one of her children at her L.A. home and refused to hand him over to her ex-husband Kevin Federline. But, what the public doesn’t know is what the former pop queen told police officers when ... More About: Anna Nicole , Anna
The 2008 Nick Nolte look alike contest winner
2008-01-04 07:48:00 TUSCON, Arizona - Giving new meaning to an ex-girlfriend with an axe to grind, Kumari Fullbright, who won the 2008 first annual Nick Nolte look alike contest, has been accused of holding and torturing her 24-year-old ex-boyfriend in early December with the help of three other men, including another man she had previously dated. The law ... More About: Contest , Winner , Nick Nolte
Huckabee vows to force intelligent design upon America
2008-01-04 07:37:00 DES MOINES, IOWA - Hot on the heels of his victory in the Iowa Caucus, Mike Huckabee has declared “a new day is needed in America n politics, just like a new day is needed in American government.” He continued by telling supporters: It starts here, but it doesn’t end here. It goes all the way through ... More About: Intelligent Design , Design , Republican
No love for Satan?
2007-12-29 05:17:00 It has come to the attention of Turd on a Stick that no sports stars are giving thanks to the dark under lord Satan . After almost every goal or touchdown, it seems that modern sports stars give thanks and praise to God by either kissing a cross pendant on their necklaces or they kneel down ... More About: Sports , Jesus , Love
Put the X back in Xmas
2007-12-25 06:53:00 Christmas is a time of year to shop and consume, and little baby Jesus in that manger would suck on the Virgin Mary’s tit. The three wise men (the three stars in the constellation Orion’s belt) had nothing better to do than wonder around at night and find some illegitimate child to give gifts to. ... More About: Back , Xmas
Led Turdelin
2007-12-24 12:22:00 After their December 10th London, O2 Arena show, we have to wonder what kind of black magic Jimmy Page has spun out to the world or how much money Led Zeppelin ’s public relations people used to pay off the press. Robert Plant couldn’t hit the notes and Jason Bonham just blows and isn’t even close ...
Why No Americans Read The Economist
2007-12-22 15:13:00 How the fuck are you supposed to feel good about not having enough tax dollars left over for health care when you read garbage like this? The hope (once shared, we admit, by this newspaper) that the West’s armies could return swiftlyhome and leave good order behind them was naive. Saddam Hussein and the Taliban ran ... More About: Economist , Iraq , Afghanistan , Fox News , Read
Communists have no sense of humor
2007-12-19 03:12:00 PHILADELPHIA - Researchers at the University of Pennsylvania have found that communists have no sense of humor. The study, which was carried out over a 3 year period on 1,000 known communists, used common jokes, satire and even had subjects make their own jokes. After all the data was collected, the researchers then did ... More About: Humor , Sense , Communists
Former NFL player Tony Siragusa eats Kofi Annan
2007-12-13 07:01:00 Former American football player and current TV analyst Tony “The Goose” Siragusa, upset at the United Nations’ attempt to reign in U.S. hegemony, apparently decided to take action into his own hands and has eaten former United Nations Chief Kofi Annan . However, Mr. Siragusa, a native of Keniloworth, New Jersey, was confused and did not know ... More About: Player
Hell with NASCAR, Ron Paul has a blimp
2007-12-12 11:25:00 While fellow Republican presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee has incorporated NASCAR into his campaign and Mitt Romney has tried to use (not quite) subliminal messages in his campaign, Ron Paul ’s supporters will use a blimp to garner support for Ron Paul in the upcoming New Hampshire U.S. Presidential primary. Paul’s campaign plans to fly the blimp along ... More About: Nascar , Election , Hell
Huckabee, AIDS kills fags dead
2007-12-12 09:26:00 U.S. Republican Presidential candidate Mike Huckabee is not backing away from quotes about homosexuality that he made in 1992 while running for the U.S. Senate. Instead, he has upped the ante so to speak. Get your “AIDS Kills Fags Dead ” t-shirts and remember homosexuality is an aberrant, unnatural, and sinful lifestyle. We need to take steps ... More About: Election
Whitney Housturd releases the Holiday Turd
2007-12-11 11:01:00 Still looking for that holiday gift for that special someone? Well, look no further! Whiteny Housturd’s One Wish, The Holiday Turd is jammed pack with all of her Christmas favorites like One Wish (For Crack Cocaine), and Have Yourself a Coked Up Christmas. More About: The Holiday , Whitney
The Iranian Two for One Deal
2007-12-11 09:54:00 Are you tired of waiting for that war in Iran or just simply confused about why Iran is an enemy of America and cannot have a nuclear program to meet its energy needs? Well, do we have the solution for you! Back in 1976, during the Gerald Ford presidency, with Dick Cheney as chief of staff and ... More About: Deal , Iranian , Rani
The perfect holiday gift, KKK drink coasters
2007-12-10 13:41:00 Looking for that special stocking stuffer? This holiday season, tell your friends and family how you really feel about America by giving them a set of Klu Klux Klan drink coasters. The brothers of the Klan are just as concerned as you are about your coffee table getting water damage. What are you waiting for? Act now ... More About: Holiday , Drink , Gift , Perfect , Coasters
Huckabee aberrant and unnatural
2007-12-10 09:32:00 Some good dirt has been dug up on our man Mike Huckabee . It seems in 1992 while running for the U.S. Senate, he called homosexuality “an aberrant, unnatural, and sinful lifestyle.” Although the conservative U.S. presidential hopeful has acknowledged the prevailing scientific view that the virus that causes AIDS is not spread through casual contact, ... More About: Republican , Election
Hitchens exposes Romney and his baloney
2007-12-10 01:38:00 You might recall during a heated debate about penis size with fellow U.S. Republican Presidential hopeful, Rudy Giuliani, that Mitt Romney said his penis was made of baloney and that all the Mormon chicks dig it. Well, now it seems Mr. Romney is at it again with a window dressing about his Mormonism. Almost the ... More About: Election , Christopher Hitchens
Benny Hinn?s ?Get the Bling You Have Always Wanted?
2007-12-09 09:54:00 Amazing things can happen when people come into agreement. It’s a principle directly from God’s word, and Benny Hinn Ministries is dedicated to praying in unity with people, just like you, who desire to see the Holy Spirit’s miracle-working power unleashed. When you send your prayer requests, they are instantly sent to our ... More About: Christian Right , Bling , Wanted
Iran protests over U.S. penis spying
2007-12-09 03:06:00 Iran has sent a formal protest letter to the United States, accusing it of spying on Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s penis. Foreign Minister Manouchehr Mottaki said the note was sent in response to a U.S. intelligence report released on Monday about Iranian president’s penis size. It said Ahmadinejad had a six and three quarter inch penis until ... More About: Iran , Penis , Protests , Spying
The stupidest man alive
2007-12-08 12:44:00 OK, we get that you are inherently ignorant, intolerant and uneducated, but why would you want to advertise it across your forehead and neck for the rest of your life? Get ready for all the fun that you are going to have in prison with all with those “brothers” soap boy! Image courtesy of The Smoking Gun. More About: Alive
Huckabee?s Intelligent Design Nascar
2007-12-08 06:41:00 First we had Rudy Giuliani and Mitt Romney quarrelling about penis size, then we had Barack Obama dawning black face in an effort to become more black in order to get more votes, and now we have Mike Huckabee solidifying himself as the symbol of uneducated America by comparing the Presidential election to a ... More About: Intelligent Design , Design , Republican , Nascar
Now, that is a cock ring!
2007-12-07 02:28:00 MANCHESTER, ENGLAND — Firefighters helped operate on a man who was rushed to hospital after getting a metal ring stuck on the end of his penis. Doctors at Royal Wigan Infirmary in Greater Manchester put out the alert after fearing the man faced amputation as the ring cut off his blood supply, and two firefighters used ... More About: Ring , Cock
1,000 Dumbasses meeting in the desert
2007-12-06 12:07:00 TUCSON, ARIZONA - Inventor and businessman Richard Chapin and his wife Monica are behind a giant device, which has gathered up and focused the light of the moon upon 1,000 visitors from all over the world. While the effect of the moon’s gravitational pull on the Earth’s tides and other natural phenomena has been studied for ... More About: Dumbasses , Desert , Meeting
Teach English in the Green Zone of Baghdad
More articles from this author:2007-12-04 07:17:00 Hey all you ESL teachers, are you ready to reach the next level in ESL ? If so, Kent Clizbe from Cameron Halifax Associates wants you! Teach ESL in the Green Zone [of Baghdad ] We are a consulting services company. Our client needs one ESL teacher. We are searching for an adventurous, self-starting, independent person to ... More About: Iraq , Iraq War , English 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 |
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