The Donut Shoppe

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Remember Me!
2007-08-27 18:55:00
A Deputy Sheriff was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix. The doctors operated and advised him that all was well. However, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hair in his crotch. Worried that it might be a second surgery the doctors hadn't told him about, he finally got enough energy to pull his hospital gown up enough so he could look at what was making him so uncomfortable. Taped firmly across his pubic hair were three wide strips of adhesive tape, the kind that takes everything with it when you pull it off. Written in large black letters across the tape was the sentence: "Get well quick..... from the nurse you gave a ticket to last week."
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Wal-Mart Shopping
2007-06-03 15:28:00
Two policewomen doing some shopping for shoes in Walmart after the hurricane. http://www.mentalfunk.com/movies/lootingp olicekatrina.html
More About: Videos , Shopping , Mart , Wal-Mart , Wal Mart

Awesome Italian Police Car
2007-04-30 02:16:00
(from Lamborghini Press Release) A Lamborghini Gallardo has been donated to the Italian State Police (Polizia di Stato) by Automobili Lamborghini SpA. The V10, 500 bhp 190 mph performance car has been liveried in the colours of the state police and includes a siren and flashing lights on the roof. This is the first time that a Lamborghini will be used by Italian police.The Gallardo police car will be used by the traffic police (Polizia Stradale) during emergency situations on the Salerno-Reggio Calabria highway in southern Italy. It is equipped with apparatus to transmit and receive information and images in critical situations such as road traffic accidents, fires and other disaster situations. It will also be fitted with the Italian police?s Provida system which records traffic violations and sends images in real-time, and has a direct connection to the police database as well as the Elsag ?Autodetector? system for number plate recognition. In addition, the Gallardo is equipped w...
More About: Photos , Awesome , Police Car

Officer AH
2007-04-20 19:20:00
A motorcycle officer stops a man for running a red light. The guy is a real jerk and comes running back to the motor officer. The violator demands to know why he is being harassed by the Gestapo! So the officer calmly tells him of the red light violation. The "Motorist" instantly goes on a tirade, questioning the officer's ancestry, sexual orientation, etc., in rather explicit terms. The officer, being a professional, takes it all in stride. The tirade goes on without the cop saying anything. When he gets done with writing the citation he puts an "AH" in the lower right corner of the narrative portion of the citation. He then hands it to the "Violator" for his signature. The guy signs the cite angrily, tearing the paper, and when presented his copy points to the "AH" and demands to know what it stands for. The officer then removes his mirror sunglasses, gets in the middle of the guys face and says, "That's so when we go to court, I'll remember you're an Asshole!" Three months la...
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Choke the chicken
2007-04-12 04:07:00
Why did the chicken cross the road? L.A. Police Department: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.
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Cops Gone Wild
2007-04-09 00:13:00
Cops in Kingston, Ontario stop and pose with some young girls gone wild.
More About: Photos , Wild , Cops , Gone

Thinks that make you go hmmm!
2007-04-07 22:34:00
Why do they put a suicide watch on death row prisoners? Duh! Why would you care if a man you?re planning to kill anyway, kills himself? Does it spoil the fun?I also think about the death row prisoner in Texas who, on the day before his execution, managed to take a drug overdose. They rushed him to a hospital, saved his life, then brought him back to prison and killed him. Apparently, just to piss him off I guess.
More About: Random Thoughts , Think , Make , That

Follow us
2007-04-06 03:30:00
My partner and I were just about to head out on night shift, when a little Chinese man came into the station and began asking for directions to the Trans-Canada Highway. The station duty officer wasn't having much luck explaining the way so I stepped up and said, "Why don't you just follow us? We're heading that way." We got into our police car and the man followed us down the street. We no sooner got to the first intersection than a call came over the air, "Officer needs assistance!" We took off like a shot, forgetting all about our guest. While flying down the street, red lights flashing, sirens wailing, careening around corners, going through red lights, we heard the call, "Unfounded... Everything is under control." That's when we remembered our little Chinese friend. I looked back and there he was, wrestling with the steering wheel, but right on our tail! We stopped, got out, and approached his car. Wide-eyed, he looked at us and said, "I almost rost you!"

Do I look like I'm bluffing?
2007-04-01 02:59:00
The best bluff I remember was by the Officer who trained me. On Hilton Head there is a big public parking lot at the entrance to the public beach. We had received many complaints of teenagers playing loud music and drinking at night in the parking lot. This evening we received a report of a large crowd disturbing the peace. Upon our arrival we found about fifty people in the parking lot. We got out of the patrol car and my partner announced that everyone would have to leave because we had received complaints about the noise. The group had been drinking and they crowded around our car. They asked what we were going to do if they didn't leave. My partner calmly told them that we would put them in jail. They all started laughing and one wise guy said, "You don't really think you two can take us all to jail do you?" My partner reached into our patrol car and pulled out the riot 12 gage shotgun. He chambered a round and laid it on the hood of the car. He calmly stated, "Of course not. ...
More About: Like , Look , Bluff , Bluffing

Robocop
2007-03-31 15:33:00
The little mechanical canine is actually Laika, a Sony AIBO dog robot. He has a total of 20 degrees of freedom, 1 in the mouth, 3 in the neck, 4 in each leg, 1 in each ear and 2 in the tail. Additionally, his paws are passively compliant paws. Sensors include a color CCD camera, stereo microphones, joint encoders in the legs, touch sensors on the paws, and "petting" sensors on the head and its back. Laika will imitate the movements of a human/humanoid avatar.
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Police brutality
2007-03-27 11:23:00
"...so I grabbed the sauce-covered chicken leg from the guy's hands and I smacked him over the head with it. He'll think twice, next time, before dropping napkins on the ground." Sarge... you had to see the look on his face."
More About: Photos , Police , Ruta , Poli , Police Brutality

Wanted 12 new tires
2007-03-26 19:17:00
That's as funny as the one I heard about the toilet seats that were stolen from a police station... Police have nothing to go on. Same holds true here as well.
More About: Photos , Want , Wanted , Tires , Tire

The karate cops
2007-03-25 20:12:00
This is actually a clip from a video scandal that rocked the SFPD (San Francisco Police Department). 20 officers were suspended. You can view the story at: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi ?file=/c/a/2005/12/08/MNGQIG4PLD1.DTL
More About: Photos , Karate , Cops , Rate , Kara

Let me at him!
2007-03-25 14:31:00
"I'm a police dog... I want a gun to! I'm naked, unarmed, no vest, no helmet, no pay. This is bullshit!!. This is discrimination." "Woof, woof."

Auto safety 101
2007-03-21 11:14:00
"The reason I pulled you over was because your tires are bald. You ain't got no threads on them donuts buddy. You need at least 2 mm of thread depth. If I didn't pull you over you'd never be able to stop at that traffic light ahead at the speed you were going."
More About: Safety , Photos , Auto , Safe

We hit a brick wall on this one
2007-03-20 12:39:00
"He went to pick up the donut that fell on the floor, then the coffee spilt in his lap then ..."
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Pants optional day on the subways
2007-03-19 18:13:00
This is funny... Cops noticed a large number of pantless riders one day last year. Despite there being nothing illegal about appearing in public in underwear, he thought it was a good idea to stop the train. The conductor came over the P.A. and announced, "This train is not in service. Everyone please exit the train and wait for the next one. Due to a police investigation this train is out of service." It seems this was the 6th Annual No Pants Subway Ride that took place on Saturday, January 13. 2006. Eight people were detained. Six of those were handcuffed and taken downtown in a police van. They were all charged with "Disorderly Conduct" and issued a summons to court. You can check out the groups website and other pictures at: http://www.improveverywhere.com/mission_v iew.php?mission_id=54
More About: Photos , Ants , Opti

SUV full of penguins
2007-03-19 01:43:00
Joke about a police officer who pulls over a SUV full of penguins as told by Kristine Blackport of Jokeofthedaytv.com. New jokes daily.
More About: Jokes , Full , Penguin , Guin

A dozen reasons to join the force
2007-03-18 19:23:00
I think the stories about cops and donuts comes from the fact that police officers work odd hours when most restaurants and stores are closed. Years ago, the donut shops were all that were open at night. When an officer wanted to stop for a break, coffee and donuts were convenient. If you have several squads working an area and only one place is open, you are bound to see several officers there throughout the night. Donuts have sugar and carbohydrates, which allow for quick energy. Donuts, coupled with the ever present cup of coffee, help keep the officers awake and alert.
More About: Photos , Force , Join , Reason , Reasons

Law enforcement puns
2007-03-18 00:00:00
A criminal's best asset is his lie ability.
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Junior cop
2007-03-17 13:37:00
Guess some people just have the cop gene.
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You're going to get screwed
2007-03-11 16:02:00
It was a small town and the patrolman was making his evening rounds. As he was checking a used car lot, he came upon two little old ladies sitting in a used car. He stopped and asked them why they were sitting there in the car. Were you trying to steal it? "Heavens no, we bought it." "Then why don't you drive it away." "We can't drive." "Then why did you buy it?" "We were told that if we bought a used car here we'd get screwed... so we're just waiting.
More About: Screw , Screwed , Crew , Going , Goin

Worlds smallest police dog... Midge
2007-03-09 23:41:00
In Geauga County, Ohio there is a new K-9 deputy on patrol. But when it comes to taking a bite out of crime, this deputy dog will be taking very small portions. For the last seven years, there has been one top dog in the Geauga County Sheriff's Department, Brutus, the big German Shepherd has been the go-to canine. But that's about to change. Here comes "Midge," two pounds of raw recruit police power. A 3-month-old miniature Chihuahua with a little Rat Terrier mixed in, who has one major talent right now. "Cute, she is cute, she is little, she's very friendly, she likes people a lot," Geauga Sheriff Dan McClelland said. Midge, in her little uniform, is already patrolling the hallways at the county jail and the sheriff has plans to train her as the smallest drug dog in the state of Ohio." I had this idea that I've toyed with for a few years, why couldn't a small dog be used just as well?" McClelland said." She watches everybody who comes in the room," Sheriff Dept. Deputy Carrie ...
More About: World , Police , Worlds , Mall , Poli

I'd like to buy a vowel please
2007-03-09 18:35:00
The Albany police department should have consulted with some of the students or a dictionary first.
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Break Escape!
2007-03-07 18:54:00
Police and traffic officials are now making signs and roads more "user friendly."
More About: Break , Cape , Escape , Scape , Brea

The speeding ticket
2007-03-04 16:46:00
A woman was speeding down a highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, she got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over. The officer handed her the citation, received her signature and was about to walk away when the woman asked, "Officer, I know I was speeding, but I don't think it's fair - there were plenty of other cars around me who were going just as fast, so why did I get the ticket?" "Ever go fishin' mame?" the policeman suddenly asked the woman." Ummm, yeah..." the startled woman replied. The officer grinned and added, "Did you ever catch 'em all?"
More About: Speed , Speeding , Ticket , Tick

Dog calls 911
2007-03-03 23:28:00
CATAWBA COUNTY, N.C. -- Emergency dispatchers in Catawba County got an unusual 911 call this week...from a dog. The seven-year-old miniature dachsund named Jake was home alone Tuesday night and managed to dial 911. The dog howled and barked as the dispatcher tried to figure out what was happening. Long View police responded to the home and found the dog and his owner inside. Jake's owner said he's not normally left alone and planned to put the phone out of reach from now on.
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Hey! I resemble that remark
2007-03-03 11:15:00
Sometimes cops are just in the wrong place at the wrong time.
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More budget cuts
2007-03-02 03:54:00
Ukranian policemen install the first wooden police car imitation by the road near the town of Borispol, outside Kiev, February 26, 2003. Ukranian traffic police have decided to use imitation as a method of preventing speeding and hope to reduce the number of car accidents.
More About: Budget , More , Cuts

Police work does have some perks
2007-03-01 12:41:00
Sarge... wipe that I ain't never seen a topless protester before look off your face ok!
More About: Work , Police , Have , Poli , Perks