Joeprah - Anecdotes of a Stay at Home DadJoeprah - Anecdotes of a Stay at Home DadWhy is a stay home dad's life funny? Stop by and find out. Its all about the kids! Articles
Doing Laundry the Right Way
2008-02-13 20:19:00 Ah, laundry. I think we can all agree that we love to hate it. Also, I think no other chore in the house is more of an affront to our manliness than laundry. That is precisely why I have devised a better way to do this dreaded chore. Most people would say that laundry should be part of a daily chore routine (see fools) and that it requires fastidious attention to detail as it is akin to a science with all the right angles, measuring amounts of liquids, etc. I look at it as more of a death match. An ultimate struggle that I face not only externally with each piece of linen I mangle, but internally as I re-examine my masculinity, that is until recently as I have found a better way. A better way is what has made this country of ours great, and I will share this with you, free of charge, as so my brothers may learn a valuable lesson. I have compiled a list of ingredients that are necessary for a successful laundry session. Pay close attention. Smart Enough That You Understand U... More About: Laundry
So It Begins
2008-02-13 18:04:00 I have finally returned home after a crazy day of traveling yesterday. We had a delay on our first flight out of Vegas and sat in the terminal for over 5 hours--Air Tran is terrible. Then, as we landed in Atlanta we found that the next available flight to Baltimore wasn't going to leave until 8:00am the next morning. That gave us a whole four hours to sleep in an airport hotel, once again Air Tran-ed. We awoke refreshed, not, and in good spirits, yeah right. Anyways, the bottom line is I have returned to fix my blog and add a ton of updates to it. Blog Update #1: I will be adding a new podcast at least on a weekly basis. You can subscribe through the feedburner clickable on the left sidebar...other left, sigh. I will post the official iTunes subscription info as soon as the podcast is approved. Blog Update #2: I will be reposting all my old articles which rocked the house, so tell your friends to check out the new improved Joeprah site as a ton of stuff is forthcoming...
At the Terminal
2008-02-12 14:59:00 So, my 4 day saunter to Las Vegas is over. We played roulette, poker, and slots mostly. We started out up...but we wound up down a couple hundred which isn't too bad considering the amount of gambling we did. We had a great time and really enjoyed our time together. It has been a long time since we had a trip alone away from our kids and although we love them as much as possible, I think every couple needs some alone time to recharge their respective batteries, reset goals and simply just enjoy each other. We never ran out of things to talk about the entire trip and had a wonderful time reconnecting. My wife and I are best friends, but it is easy to miss each other through all the activities and weekly hustle and bustle. Through all the room service, walks on the Strip , and time together at restaurants and cafes it really was a romantic getaway. The climate was great. Seventy degrees and no humidity. From the man-made casinos and desert mountains there was no short... More About: Terminal
Viva Las Vegas
2008-02-10 19:28:00 Howdy folks! I am in Las Vegas until late Tuesday. Yes, I am winning and yes I am looking good while doing so. First, I have to say thank you to everyone that has stayed with me during me recent tech hic-up and I promise the new Joeprah look and content will be more flashy and tech savy (an upgrade if you will). I loved reading all the comments and I would like to respond by saying that I have all my content backed-up in SQL files which are going to be very labor intensive to go through and recapture all of my original content, but it is worth it....right? I will leave you with a picture of my wife and I from Vegas...she is the good looking one standing next to the doofus (me). The scenery, although dark, is the Venetian behind us. More About: Viva Las Vegas , Viva
New Digs
2008-02-07 21:34:00 So I guess you are all like...wtf? What is going on? You may have guessed by now...yes, I messed my site up again and this time I am taking it as an opportunity to right some wrongs that had always annoyed me. I am going to incorporating more functionality like podcasts and my own video player that I have been testing and the resolution is much better than youtube (sorry youtube). Anyways, if you stop in I will be back better than ever in about a weeks time. Peace.
Snow Day
2008-02-01 14:18:00 My kids didn’t have to go to school today because of the threat of sleet and ice…we got rain. The kids were restless and looking outside they knew they had to do something inside. You’ll have to watch the video to see what they got themselves into this time. Peace. tbYx_XeMKJ4 More About: Snow , Snow Day
Children Behaving Badly: Episode I
2008-01-31 11:03:00 *Disclaimer* If you are a parent that has an infant or simply expecting your first child, please understand that all children will behave badly and that this video is for educational purposes only. This video of my toddler takes a hard look at the end result when children behave badly. In other words, another Joeprah masterpiece. Enjoy. LUfOzHTuMng More About: Children , Episode
Word! Of the Day Volume IV
2008-01-28 10:43:00 I will say “you’re welcome” ahead of time, even before you watch the latest installment of the hit segment “Word of the Day.” Seriously, enjoy another cute video of my adorable toddler. Peace. IIB4qYp4dBg More About: Volume , Word of the Day
Don’t Perpetuate, Deviate: Dads as Caregivers
2008-01-22 13:48:00 *Caution: This article is meant to break down stereotypes. The generalities in this article I speak of is only to illustrate points and garner intelligent discussion, if at anytime you feel offended take one of these:* This article is about a topic that I have been silently pissed about for weeks/months as I read posts on numerous mom blogs that are basically bashing men as being inept childcare providers. I have read articles that straight up ask questions like if wives trust their husbands to watch their children. W-T-F? I would link to said articles however my point isn’t to chastise those who think this way, but to examine why this is. I have had a poll on the sidebar of my blog for 4-5 months that posed a simple question, “Who is better staying home?” Except for my multiple votes in the category of “Stay at Home Dads...Easily” the poll (which had over 150 unique participants) overwhelmingly showed that it depended on the parent. Undou...
Wow! All I can say is Wow!
2008-01-15 10:11:00 Holy moly! I learned something really cool today and I think it is so groundbreaking that I should share it with the world…or at least the handful of folks that stop in and check my blog. I learned how to edit my photos and prepare them for the viewing public using photoshop. Granted I know how to mangle photos using my smart-alec wit, but the technical stuff has always eluded me…until today. Enter Pete. Pete is an awesome dude that runs a photo blog and I have wrote a review of his blog which can be found in my “blog review” section if you care to investigate. Anyways, he has some tutorials which are absolute eye openers and I think most folks need to check them out. Here is the one that I recently found, how to prepare photos for the web, and its video counterpart, click here fool. Here is a photo that I edited using the techniques highlighted in his tutorial. Granted I haven't perfected it, but a vast improvement. Yes? Before: Afte...
Word! Of the Day Volume III
2008-01-14 09:54:00 Another installment of the ridiculously popular “word of the day” segment only found here at Joeprah.com. When watching this video take note of how background music impacts the mood of a movie. Cool beans.i6XTsMcXk3o More About: Word , Volume , Word of the Day
Word! Of the Day Volume II
2008-01-13 01:21:00 I am not sure how many of these I can make because my toddler’s diction is so wonderful, but here is another installment of the immensely popular “Word of the day” feature. Enjoy.66F6oIhrbvY More About: Volume , Word of the Day
Word! Of the Day
2008-01-11 09:27:00 Word of the day video brought to you courtesy of Joeprah.com. Enjoy. Uu0c8Qbqx5k More About: Word , Word of the Day
I am a Traffic Whore
2008-01-08 22:48:00 I finally came to terms with a condition that has afflicted me for sometime now—traffic whoritis. Being a traffic whore means that you are constantly looking for innovative ways to drive traffic to your website because in your naivety you believe your site to be the best one ever created. That is me to a ‘T’. It has bugged me to no end that I couldn’t find a way to get into the mix of the social bookmarking sites out there like StumbleUpon or Digg. The reason behind my inability to capitalize on this huge market of traffic for bloggers is the fact that I am more or less an idiot and exponentially more of a dolt when it comes to tech related issues. Oh sure I can hit a virtual golf ball on Tiger Woods ’08 360+ yards, but I can’t even tie my shoes in HTML let alone CSS. So it will come as no surprise that I have had extreme difficulty trying to get my site to display one of those digg counters that so many sites have. I am not a quitter so I ... More About: Traffic , Whore
Signs, signs
2008-01-04 14:09:00 My youngest daughter hates being sticky, dirty, and in close proximity to those who are sticky and dirty. She asks for napkins constantly. She is a neat freak. She changes outfits when they get a little wet. Did you read that? Wet. She says they are dirty and as many times as I discourage her not to change, I invariably cannot be every at once and she will inevitably change into dry clothes. She is tenacious. Here is documented proof of a clean girl asking for a napkin: Any questions? Joeprah Vocab Word of the Day: Hi-Scum-Muse-Cool: A word, which must be said quickly, that Toddlers use which represents a made for TV movie from the Disney Channel that compels older children to sing and dance. Not to be confused with Hi-Scum-Muse-Cool 2. More About: Signs
Communication Breakdown
2008-01-03 14:58:00 This is a conversation I had just this morning with my eldest daughter: My daughter asked, “Da-da, what does taunt mean?” “It means to tease.” “What kind of tease?” A little surprised by the question I ask, “What do you mean?” How could she think of another kind of tease? Strip tease?? What could she be thinking? “I was wondering if you meant golf tees or what.” She had golf lessons the past summer and fall. Phew. “No, I meant like to tease someone.” “What does that mean?” She is so sweet and naïve. “It means to make fun of someone.” “Ohhhh.” Joeprah Vocab Word of the Day: Bite-a-min: Strange chewable snack given out at breakfast time to children. They come in two distinct forms: Flintstones and Winnie the Pooh. More About: Communication
Note from the Desk of Joeprah
2008-01-03 14:43:00 As you may have noticed, I have been absent during the recent holiday season. I apologize for any undue stress this vacancy may have caused. I am sure there are countless lives that have been torn apart while husbands and wives have waited in patient vigil near their monitors for the next installment from Joeprah. This added pressure on relationships surely may have added to the holiday stress-o-meter and for that I apologize. Like the Truman show, many folks (me and perhaps myself and I) have grown to depend on Joeprah and I vow not to make my fans lay in waiting like that again…at least until the next time I am either uber busy, sick or in this case overwhelmed by holiday engagements. This holiday season was especially busy and with 6 major gatherings (4 at our house) over the course of 9 days there was really no time to sit down and pound out a Joeprah article I would feel proud to post on the internet—that would require at least 7 ½ minutes not 5 or 6... More About: Note , Desk
Word It's Wednesday
2008-01-02 15:34:00 Joeprah will make a triumphant return Thursday, January the 3rd. Until then, feast your eyes on my toddler’s recently hair cut. Peace y’all. More About: Word , Wednesday
If I Had A Robot: Holiday Repost
2007-12-22 22:00:00 As many men are drawn to technology so too am I. I feel we have a desire to meet challenges with improvements based on inventions. Men, from those in the armed forces that customize their weapons (see Delta Forces, awesome (http://specialoperations.com/Army/Delta_ Force/)) to Pee Wee Herman and his house of horrors, all look to find a better way. Now parenting, as we know, has its challenges, what with all the cooking, cleaning and child care, so wouldn't it be nice to have a tool to help us in our pursuit of peace of mind? If I had a robot I would program it to not only shoot lasers at invaders (http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/40 401000/jpg/_40401591_marthapolice203apb.j pg), zombified or otherwise, I would also, most certainly, have my robot programmed to aid me around the house. I am sure you are tired of being viewed by your offspring as the enforcer so the first thing to do would be to retrofit your robot with a paddle My robot would be programmed to eat diapers... More About: Holiday , Robot
De-Lurk
2007-12-19 09:04:00 It has come to my attention that I have many lurkers on my site…actually I have known this for quite some time (a week) and I am asking a favor of all my lurkers and readers who comment for that matter. I am the member of a board for a social networking site that completely dominates called Cr8Buzz. It owns so hard that these words basically typed themselves. Anyways, we are amidst the death-throws of a super important web based awards competition. If we win there will be much to celebrate and actual awards and awards ceremonies in a physical location…not just virtually. It is really huge. Anyways, on your lunch break today I implore you to visit the following link and vote for Cr8Buzz for the best Niche or Miscellaneous Social Networking Site:Click Here Now, go forth and vote and leave a comment below if you are a lurker and have done as instructed. For all of my fellow buzz comrades I ask that you follow suit and post to your lurkers. Peace!
My Annual Trip to the Local Mall
2007-12-19 08:42:00 Ah, the local mall. Nothing in the world compares to it. Thank god! Each year our family makes a pilgrimage to visit Santy Claus (how my Grandpop pronounced it) at our local mall. The entire event is a little creepy if you ask me. We get our girls all primped up so we can take them somewhere 30 miles out of our way to visit an unkempt, long-bearded fat man. There they will wait in line to sit on said strange man's lap. Not exactly a display of power logic if you ask me, but ‘everyone else is doin’ it’ so we have acquiesced our fate. Now, as savvy parents, we look at our trip to visit Santa as a way to collect important gift giving information from our daughters. Finding out what to get them for Christmas is the only thing that we can salvage out of this mess, because the mall is ca-ray-zeee. First, the line. I think I may have been in the most perverted line on the eastern seaboard. I saw teenagers and young adults displaying their disdain for rigid ... More About: Local , Trip , Mall , Annual , Loca
Secret Agent Mama: A Blog Review
2007-12-18 08:43:00 I have read other blogs that are very difficult to put in one blogging niche. I will call them chameleons. One day they are blogging about family issues like poop and potty training and out of nowhere there is a post about some crazy movie or something like that. Ahem. However, the blog I am reviewing today is not such a blog. Secret Agent Mama is quite simply a photography/poetry/rant/journal/parenting / entertainment/music blog. Not a lot of variety here—duh, just kidding. Mishelle, the author of SAM (Secret Agent Mama) really takes an introspective look at her life from many different angles. She is an excellent photographer. Her black white photos are artistic, her color photos are personal and just plain cute, and her experimental (?) photos are da bomb diggity. This girl blogs like she is trying to beat a record or something. To say prolific would not do it justice. She posted 107 times in September, 97 times in October and 101 times in November respectivel... More About: Review , Blog
Pro Histamine
2007-12-18 07:38:00 As many of my loyal readers could have guessed by now—I am retarded. Last week I caught the ‘crud’ and was coughing or sneezing out fluids just about every waking moment of everyday up to and including today to some degree. Like all men I am a complete baby when it comes to being sick. Whenever I am sick, I think I ask my wife at least ten times a day to, “Feel my forehead,” because A) I am under the distinct impression that I have contracted the Bubonic Plague and/or B) I want her to understand that I am sick and each time I ask her to see if I have a fever it is just a little reminder that ‘she’s got it good.’ Also, like any self-respecting man, I refuse to see a doctor due to my A) intrinsic laziness and B) I hate throat cultures. For me to actually see a doctor it kinda has to be like the ‘Perfect Storm’—conditions must be perfect. If I am sick enough and my schedule is clear enough and I have decided to dre...
The Return of the Jerk: A Movie Review
2007-12-12 21:21:00 I am going to do a post on a topic which is near a dear to me—movie reviews. I am a huge fan of movies and I am also a complete jerk when it comes to watching them. To say I have discriminating taste is to say Stalin was kinda mean. I love ruining lame movies that I happen in on during their last five minutes by predicting the ending and explaining to those watching it, my wife and her friends, why the movie is horrible. I usually do not get impressed by movies as a rule. If you like Coyote Ugly in my mind that is like saying, “Spank me with rocks—please.” What most critics give a solid ‘B’ I give a ‘C’ just to prove a point—don’t mess with me. So, with all that being said here is my latest movie review: No Country for Old Men. ***Note: I will not include spoilers, so if you have seen the movie and you are like “what about that scene?” I left it out as to protect future audience members.*** On Black F... More About: Movie , Movie Review , Review , Jerk , Return
Word! It's Wednesday
2007-12-12 09:51:00 Today I wanted to pass on something that many of you may have seen already, but if not you are in for a treat. Enjoy this ridiculous video compliments of a beauty pageant entrant. WALIARHHLII Now, check out this video comparing President Bush with Ms. ‘such as’ girl. (to be noted I am not a Bush basher or a huge political activist guy so don’t get all up on me…Bush is just funny as heck) 2WbOUwbwr2w Word ! More About: Wednesday
Mission Impoopable
2007-12-10 22:13:00 as soon as her diaper is full she is my best friend. It’s a shame. It’s a shame that all day long my toddler avoids me. She will not hold my hand when we cross the street. She doesn’t want to sit with me unless she is uber tired. She thinks cuddling is the physical equivalent of pouring battery acid on an open patch of skin—most of the time. When we are at home she wanders around and pretty much makes an unconscious effort to keep her distance from me unless I entice her with M Ms or a kiss (Hershey’s). Don’t get me wrong we are close and enjoy being around each other, it just seems that lately she enjoys her space. There is however one notable exception. My toddler will come around as soon as she has ‘made bears’ in her diaper. All day long she could take or leave me but as soon as her diaper is full she is my best friend. When she is poopies she will zero in on my exact location like some kind of heat seeking missile. B.M.... More About: Mission , Missi
Mission Impoopable
2007-12-10 22:13:00 as soon as her diaper is full she is my best friend. It’s a shame. It’s a shame that all day long my toddler avoids me. She will not hold my hand when we cross the street. She doesn’t want to sit with me unless she is uber tired. She thinks cuddling is the physical equivalent of pouring battery acid on an open patch of skin—most of the time. When we are at home she wanders around and pretty much makes an unconscious effort to keep her distance from me unless I entice her with M Ms or a kiss (Hershey’s). Don’t get me wrong we are close and enjoy being around each other, it just seems that lately she enjoys her space. There is however one notable exception. My toddler will come around as soon as she has ‘made bears’ in her diaper. All day long she could take or leave me but as soon as her diaper is full she is my best friend. When she is poopies she will zero in on my exact location like some kind of heat seeking missile. B.M.... More About: Mission , Missi
My GPS Camera Phone: A Blog Review
2007-12-10 14:30:00 Some reviews I have done and will do require intensive archival reading not to mention in depth character analysis which I usually just do via Venn diagram with the big white board I have. After a lengthy brainstorm session with my wife and kids, some personal meditation, and about three shots of bourbon I usually can come up with a good starting point and thesis for the review at hand. The blog I am reviewing today requires none of the back reading and familiarization that others entail. I do not suggest the blog My GPS Camera Phone to be uncomplicated or simplistic at all, but you see I am the ‘Top Commenter’ of said blog. I am not simply in the lead by a little (29 currently), I own the blog. Let me tell you why I enjoy the blog so much. Pete, the author of My GPS Camera Phone , is perhaps one of the most awesome bloggers I have yet come across. He gets my smartass comments which litter his site like skid marked underwear and that alone is enough to be tops in ... More About: Review , Blog
My GPS Camera Phone: A Blog Review
2007-12-10 14:30:00 Some reviews I have done and will do require intensive archival reading not to mention in depth character analysis which I usually just do via Venn diagram with the big white board I have. After a lengthy brainstorm session with my wife and kids, some personal meditation, and about three shots of bourbon I usually can come up with a good starting point and thesis for the review at hand. The blog I am reviewing today requires none of the back reading and familiarization that others entail. I do not suggest the blog My GPS Camera Phone to be uncomplicated or simplistic at all, but you see I am the ‘Top Commenter’ of said blog. I am not simply in the lead by a little (29 currently), I own the blog. Let me tell you why I enjoy the blog so much. Pete, the author of My GPS Camera Phone , is perhaps one of the most awesome bloggers I have yet come across. He gets my smartass comments which litter his site like skid marked underwear and that alone is enough to be tops in ... More About: Review , Blog
What is All This Talk About ‘P’?
More articles from this author:2007-12-07 15:47:00 As long as I can remember I have heard women and men alike talking about something called ‘PMS’. I thought those were the letters that came before the Titanic. Oh, the HMS Titanic. I was wrong—sort of. There are some similarities. People don’t die literally because of ‘PMS’ but many lives have become temporarily shattered because of those letters. Just like the Titanic represents a day of tragedy and torment for all those involved so does ‘PMS’. My wife told me that once every month something special happens that allows women liberty to be really nasty to just about anyone and redeem a virtual get out of jail free card just by claiming to be in possession of those three letters. I asked her, “Can I do that?” She laughed at me—hard. I don’t get it. My wife, who will remain nameless (Joe + D) as to protect her, began to regale me with a story that told me all I wanted to know and more about ‘PMS&r... More About: Talk 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 |
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