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Helsingbloggin' - Malmö

Helsingbloggin' - Malmö
A British-Canadian expat's observations and opinions about Helsingborg and Malmö, Sweden.

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Saturday, October 6th, 2007: Movin' on up (?) in Helsingborg
2007-10-06 23:01:00
What I think:One of the many excuses I have for not not having been so very present in the blogosphere these days is that I was busy moving. You may remember that I mentioned some time ago that there's a definite north-south divide here in Helsingborg; many people living in the northern part of the city can be rather snobby, and think that the people living in the southern part are all criminally insane foreign people. That's only partly true.But I've now moved to the north, so that should even things out a bit.There's a bit of a twist to this though, so bear with me.When I first started seeing my girlfriend, nearly a year ago, she had recently rented a flat (US/CAN: apartment) in Stattena (pronounced Sta-tay-na), an area in the northern part of Helsingborg.She's very much a southern Helsingborg girl, except for the fact that she's not foreign. And that her criminal insanity is barely perceptible.But she'd found this nice little place, it was exactly what she was looking for ...
More About: Saturday , October

Wednesday, September 26th, 2007: Top Toilet Tips Update - Bishops Arms la
2007-09-26 21:51:00
What I think:As some of you may remember, I wrote a review of the toilets at the Bishops Arms here in Helsingborg.I mentioned how it's perfectly normal for guys to use the girls' toilet when it's busy there (honest). If there's a queue and a toilet's free, it's instinctive for guys to go there. You can't fight (Swedish) nature, OK?But I've recently discovered a few other things as well.For example, when there's a queue containing both guys and girls, the guys will always let girls go into the girls' toilet.Very considerate, eh?.The point being...?Oh yeah.So I was at Bishops Arms the other night and I needed to wee, so got into the queue for the toilets. It was an only-guys-in-the-queue thing.When it was my turn, the first vacant toilet was the ladies'.Because there were no ladies present, I went in and did my thang. Sorry, I just love the word "thang"; couldn't resist.Thang.Boomerang.Wang.Ke-chang!Oura ngutan (OK, maybe the first two syllables). Can you tell that I'm a b...
More About: Tips , Update , Toilet

Tuesday, September 18th, 2007: Away from Helsingborg to see a weird gig in
2007-09-18 18:55:00
What I think:Probably well over a year ago, I was visiting London for work, and my mate dragged me out to Camden to see a Japanese synth-punk band called Polysics.There I was, having escaped from Sweden to a really cool little music venue above a pub in the UK waiting for a bizarrre Japanese band to come on, when all of a sudden, the supporting band come onto the stage and the singer/guitarist proclaims, "We're Quit Your Dayjob and we're from Malmö, Sweden!"Shit.But it turned out that they were pretty good, in some odd way.However, I couldn't resist confronting "Jonass", as he calls himself, at the merchandise stand later. The conversation went a bit like this:Mark Base: You bastard.Jonass: What?Mark Base: I'm living in Helsingborg now, and I come back here for a break from all things Swedish, and here's this bloody band from Malmö. Bastards.Jonass: Oh, you're living in Helsingborg? Do you know Landskrona?Mark Base: Yeah?Jonass: Well that's where we're actually from. We just...
More About: Weird , Tuesday , September

Tuesday, September 18th, 2007: Away from Helsingborg to see a weird gig in
2007-09-18 18:55:00
What I think:Probably well over a year ago, I was visiting London for work, and my mate dragged me out to Camden see a Japanese synth-punk band called Polysics.There I was, having escaped from Sweden to a really cool little music venue above a pub in the UK waiting for a bizarrre Japanese band to come on, when all of a sudden, the supporting band come onto the stage and the singer/guitarist proclaims, "We're Quit Your Dayjob and we're from Malmö, Sweden!"Shit.But it turned out that they were pretty good, in some odd way.However, I couldn't resist confronting "Jonass", as he calls himself, at the merchandise stand later. The conversation went a bit like this:Mark Base: You bastard.Jonass: What?Mark Base: I'm living in Helsing borg now, and I come back here for a break from all things Swedish, and here's this bloody band from Malmö. Bastards.Jonass: Oh, you're living in Helsingborg? Do you know Landskrona?Mark Base: Yeah?Jonass: Well that's where we're actually from. We just sa...
More About: Weird , Tuesday , September

Wednesday, September 12th, 2007: The Super Bag Lady of Helsingborg
2007-09-12 17:49:00
What I think:There's this amazing bag lady in Helsingborg. But I don't mean "amazing" in a "Wow, what a babe" kind of way, as one usually does with most bag ladies.No. Although this one is truly a looker - a veritable hunk o' burnin' love - she's much more than just your average ancient hotty that all normal blokes (US/CAN: guys) like to talk about, and drool over, down the pub, when their girlfriends aren't listening (right, guys?).This one carries all of her stuff without the use of a shopping trolley (US/CAN: cart). And she's got a lot.Although quite shy (though I suspect that that's just an act to ward off us admiring young whipper-snappers. In our forties), she did agree to pose for me while she was in action: But wait, there's more. Tongues back in your mouths, guys.I hear you asking, "But how on earthenware Victorian pottery products does she carry all those bags by herself, poor dear." (I wish that voice would go away.)This is how, in ten magificent steps, this incr...
More About: Super , Lady , Wednesday , September , The Super

Sunday, August 26th, 2007: Helsingborg to Bjuv: CSI: Helsingborg's first gi
2007-08-26 15:20:00
What I think:I had my first gig as a singer in a band yesterday. CSI: Helsingborg finally played at Bjuvsfestivalen, and I'd say it was pretty successful.I started off by approaching the microphone while putting on a pair of latex gloves, and said, "Good evening Bjuv (pronouncing it "be-jewve"). We're with the crime lab."It was kind of a weird venue really; the stage was set up under a marquee in a carpark (US/CAN: parking lot) just off the main festival road. I've got a few photos of the event to share with you.Here's one taken when we were playing our first song. As you can see, the crowd's going wild. But the angle of that photo is a bit deceiving, as is the apparent enthusiasm of the crowd. It was actually taken from quite far back, inside the beer tent. People were not really sitting very close to the stage.This is actually a truer picture:Here's one of me realising that the beer can I'm picking up is actually empty. Luckily, bassist CSI Per had stocked up, and there was...
More About: Sunday , August

Sunday, August 26th, 2007: Helsingborg to Bjuv: CSI: Helsingborg's first gi
2007-08-26 15:20:00
What I think:I had my first gig as a singer in a band yesterday. CSI: Helsing borg finally played at Bjuvsfestivalen, and I'd say it was pretty successful.I started off by approaching the microphone while putting on a pair of latex gloves, and said, "Good evening Bjuv (pronouncing it "be-jewve"). We're with the crime lab."It was kind of a weird venue really; the stage was set up under a marquee in a carpark (US/CAN: parking lot) just off the main festival road. I've got a few photos of the event to share with you.Here's one taken when we were playing our first song. As you can see, the crowd's going wild. But the angle of that photo is a bit deceiving, as is the apparent enthusiasm of the crowd. It was actually taken from quite far back, inside the beer tent. People were not really sitting very close to the stage.This is actually a truer picture:Here's one of me realising that the beer can I'm picking up is actually empty. Luckily, bassist CSI Per had stocked up, and there was...
More About: Sunday , August

Saturday, August 18th, 2007: CSI: Helsingborg - The Press Release
2007-08-18 00:28:00
What I think:There's one week to go before my band's debut performance at the grand Bjuv Festival. It's sure to be a cracking event (US/CAN: awesome gig).In preparation, the following press release is about to be translated into Swedish, and sent to all of the relevant Swedish media.This means to Helsingborgs Dagblad newspaper:CSI: Helsingborg investigate Bjuvsfestivalen 2007On Saturday August 25th, CSI: Helsingborg will make their stage debut at Bjuvsfestivalen.But who are CSI: Helsingborg? And how serious are they about what they?re doing? Let?s put them under the microscope.The band was formed by guitarist and trainspotter Nils Hornfalk just over a year ago. Nils, whose other hobbies include stamp collecting and dentistry, decided that a really rocking blues/rock cover band with a difference was necessary to make people wake up and examine the meaning behind their lives.So he teamed up with bassist and zoologist Per Cedergren and drummer and Yoga instructor Bengt Svensson. All...
More About: Press Release , Press , Release , The Press

Wednesday, August 8th, 2007: CSI: Helsingborg to appear at Bjuv's 2007 Fest
2007-08-08 23:04:00
What I think:I don't think I've mentioned this before, but I'm a singer in a cover band here in Helsingborg. I'd been in bands before, but never as just a singer; it's always been as a rhythm guitarist, back-up vocalist, with the occasional lead vocals for a few songs (while playing guitar).When my guitarist friend asked me to join his band, my biggest worry, besides my actual singing voice, was what I was going to do with my hands.It turns out that I play a mean tambourine, and I get to whack a cowbell for a couple of songs as well. The rest of the time, my various gestures make me look a bit like a cross between Morrissey and an angry Italian.Because I was asked to join the band, I had very little say as to what songs we'd play. I was told that it's mainly a blues band.One can sort of tell by looking at me that I'm not really a bluesy kind of guy. But I thought, what the hell; if I could sing a version of "Kung Fu Fighting" with Rude Guru in the 80's, I'm sure I can pull...
More About: Fest , August , Wednesday

Wednesday, August 8th, 2007: CSI: Helsingborg to appear at Bjuv's 2007 Fest
2007-08-08 23:04:00
What I think:I don't think I've mentioned this before, but I'm a singer in a cover band here in Helsing borg. I'd been in bands before, but never as just a singer; it's always been as a rhythm guitarist, back-up vocalist, with the occasional lead vocals for a few songs (while playing guitar).When my guitarist friend asked me to join his band, my biggest worry, besides my actual singing voice, was what I was going to do with my hands.It turns out that I play a mean tambourine, and I get to whack a cowbell for a couple of songs as well. The rest of the time, my various gestures make me look a bit like a cross between Morrissey and an angry Italian.Because I was asked to join the band, I had very little say as to what songs we'd play. I was told that it's mainly a blues band.One can sort of tell by looking at me that I'm not really a bluesy kind of guy. But I thought, what the hell; if I could sing a version of "Kung Fu Fighting" with Rude Guru in the 80's, I'm sure I can pull...
More About: Fest , August , Wednesday

Wednesday, August 1st, 2007: Helsingborg's Festival and a Yank's crayfish p
2007-08-01 21:17:00
What I think:Every year, I think it's during the last Thursday-to-Friday of July, this fine little city hosts a festival, with loads of different music, interesting food stalls (your chance to try a moose kebab), and stalls selling loads of crappy stuff no one needs but just might be drunk enough to buy (your chance to purchase a t-shirt saying "HELSINGBORG FÖR FAN" - translated (roughly) to "HELSINGBORG, DAMMIT"). Wonderful.Some kidding aside, there's actually a very good atmosphere in the city during these three days (days known as "summer" here). People come from miles around to check it out. I think there were even some from as far away as Ramlösa in the south, and Tågaborg in the north.The variety of music is pretty impressive, although many of the tents dotted around the city have cover bands: Sixties stuff, general "right on" (yawn) stuff, and some old Swedish faves, including the dreaded "Dansband" genre (this actually deserves a separate blog entry all its own. Remind me....
More About: Festival , August , Wednesday , Helsing

Tuesday, July 24th, 2007: Helsingborg to Montreal. And back. And tagged.
2007-07-21 13:36:00
What I think:Blog! Oh yeah, I knew there was something I was supposed to do when I got back.Oh dear, It's now been over a month since my last entry. My apologies.I've also been tagged to do yet another one these "things about myself" things. I was tagged by Aaron Cook. I've known Aaron, in the modern never-met-but-paths-seemed-to-have-crosse d-over-the-Internet-a-few-times kind of way, for about four years or so.Do check his list of "8 Random Facts". Here's a guy whose tongue detects things in foods that the average tongue cannot. Blessing or curse? You decide.Since I've got a lot of other stuff to catch up on, I thought I'd kill two blogs with one stone just throw in my tag duties at random throughout this entry. For those of you who just want to read those bits, I'll point them out and mark them in bold. OK?First things first; here are "The Rules" of the tag:1. Post these rules before you give you the facts.2. List eight (8) random facts about yourself.3. At the end of your ...
More About: Montreal , Tagged , Back , Tuesday , July

Wednesday, June 20th, 2007: Away from Helsingborg for two weeks...
2007-06-20 15:57:00
What I think:Tomorrow morning, my girlfriend and I will be off on holiday for two weeks. We'll be staying with mates in London, then jetting off to Montreal, my home town, on Friday.Coincidentally, a mate of mine from the UK will be coming to Helsing borg tomorrow. Good result; he gets a free place to stay, and I get someone to look after my flat (US/CAN: apartment, or perhaps condo, since it's bought) and feed my cat while we're away.Here's what he looks like: I feel totally confident.Actually, that photo was taken during a rather long and tedious night out for him, so we can excuse his demeanour on that evening. He's usually slightly livelier than that.We'll be away until July 6th, and I can't guarantee any blogging during this period of absence. In the meantime, feel free to educate yourself with the A-to-Z of Helsingborg. Or have you seen the latest Top Toilet Tips yet?And whatever it is that you decide to do, don't do anything the Swedish government might do something ab...
More About: June , Wednesday , Away , Weeks

Tuesday, June 19th, 2007. Top Toilet Tips: Pubs in Helsingborg - Part Four:
2007-06-16 14:49:00
What I think:I went to one of Helsingborg's smallest, but coolest (in my opinion), bars the other night - PL13. It's located right across the street from The House of Pain (where I had my tattoos done), Tim's Haircut (where I had my most expensive haircut ever - same post), and the Telegrafen pub (which I visited here and here).I've actually mentioned PL13 a couple of times before (once here, and again here); the music and the atmosphere are good, and the beer is above-average, with slightly below-average prices. It's worth going there if you're into music like The Cure, Depeche Mode, The Ramones, The Smiths, Kraftwerk, Placebo, and music of that genre and/or era. Most other pubs seem to play the worst of the past few decades' crap. And asking them if they can put on something else is not unlike asking them why their mothers didn't consider abortion to be the wisest option.I just remembered, the time before I went to PL13 the other night, I was with a friend from England - a...
More About: June , Tips , Toilet , Part , Pubs

Sunday, June 3rd, 2007: Top Toilet Tips: Pubs in Helsingborg - Part Three:
2007-06-03 15:28:00
What I think:For the third part of this series, I took a walk to The Bishops Arms last Friday evening. I was with a friend who was visiting from England. We'd just been to the Charles Dickens for a couple of beers there, when I decided that it was time to go elsewhere to take a closer look at another pub's facilities. The Bishops Arms (or simply "Bishops", as it's more commonly known) is located very centrally. It's a pretty nice place to go for a few beers, although it's fairly pricey; a decent pint costs around 55 Kronor (US$7.90/£4.00/?5.90).Having said that, the selection of draft lagersthey have is the best in town: And For the homesick Brit,or the locals or tourists who have yet to visit the UK,they also have a few decent ales in the pipes as well.And if whisky's your thing,you won't be disappointed here.All this liquid make me want to go to the toilet.Don't be shy, come along with me.How to get to the toilets:When you enter the pub, you're soon met with a staircase o...
More About: June , Tips , Sunday , Toilet , Part

Saturday, May 19th, 2007: Restaurant (tag) in Helsingborg
2007-05-16 23:11:00
What I think:Uh-Oh. I got tagged by Tug. This particular Meme is kind of interesting though. On the one hand, it's cool because it's one that will spread quite widely, if everyone plays how they're supposed to. It's actually gone around the world already.On the other hand, it's a bit of a nightmare for me; you'll soon discover why.Here's what you're supposed to do:1. Add a direct link to your post below the name of the person who tagged you. Include the city/state and country youâ€™re in.Nicole (Sydney, Australia)velverse (Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia)LB (San Giovanni in Marignano, Italy)Selba (Jakarta, Indonesia)Olivia (London, England)ML (Utah, United States)Lotus (Toronto, Canada)tanabata (Saitama, Japan)Andi (Dallas [ish], Texas, United States)Lulu (Chicago, Illinois, United States)Chris (Boyne City, Michigan, United States)AB (Cave Creek, Arizona, United States)Johnny Yen (Chicago, Illinois, United States)Bubs (Mt Prospect, Illinois, United States)Mob (Midland, Texas United S...
More About: Restaurant , Saturday , Rest , Aura , Helsing

Sunday, May 13th, 2007: Magpies in Helsingborg - One for sorrow, two for jo
2007-05-13 12:03:00
What I think:One for sorrow Two for joy...But what does it mean? What does it mean to see one magpie? Or two? Is it all a personal thing, based upon superstitions we've heard since we were very young, like 27 years old (or younger, if you're going on 26, for example)?But I covered this rhyme, along with its implications for me personally, on March 5th last year. Read about it here ->In a nutshell, I wrote about how here in Helsing borg I always ever see just a single magpie. As the superstition goes, to protect yourself from imminent sorrow, you're supposed to say something like "Say hello to your brother", implying that the particular magpie you see is not an only child (or not an "only chick"?), and that he/she usually hangs out with his/her brother (he/she never has a sister), but the brother in question has a touch of the old bird flu. Or something.Well, strangely, I've noticed something a bit different over the past recent months. I still only ever see a single magpie when I...
More About: Sunday , Pies , Magpie , Sorrow

Thursday, May 10th, 2007: Top Toilet Tips: Pubs in Helsingborg - Part Two:
2007-05-09 23:00:00
What I think:Since it was a nice day last Saturday, I decided to continue my tour of this fine city's pubs' public convenience facilities with a very outdoorsy place, Hamnkrogen.Hamnkrogen, meaning "Harbour Bar", previously known as Hamnpaviljonen (or "Harbour Pavillion"), is known by a few of us expats as "Circle Bar". Here's why: It's pretty small during the wintertime, as you can only sit inside, but for the 17 days of summer we get here, they have a fair-sized terrace outside, where you can while away your afternoon drinking beer, enjoying the nice views, and watching the world go by.I'm just kidding, by the way; the summer usually lasts for more than 17 days, their terrace is slightly-better-than-fair-sized, you don't want to while away a whole afternoon drinking beer there - at 47 Kronor each (US$6.88 / Â£3.47 / â‚¬5.10), you sip. And while the views are indeed quite nice, you're not quite watching the world go by, just those people in the world who happen to be passin...
More About: Tips , Toilet , Part , Thursday , Pubs

Sunday, April 22nd, 2007: Top Toilet Tips: Pubs in Helsingborg - Part One:
2007-04-18 22:54:00
What I think:Welcome to the first in this new series of Top Toilet Tips , your indispensable guide to the toilets (US/CAN: bathrooms, washrooms, restrooms) in pubs in Helsingborg. Before you visit this fine city in the south of Sweden, you simply must read this guide.I'll start with the Charles Dickens pub, located on SÃ¶dergatan, in the vibrant and bustling southern part of the city.How to get to the toilets:Once in the pub, walk straight past the bar on your right towards the back. Pass by the gambling machines on your right, and the pool table on your left. You'll see the grand entrance to the magnificent toilet hall just to the left of the dart machine (don't worry if people are playing; they use plastic-pointed darts). By the way, some pubs will only allow you to use their toilets if you're a paying customer. At Charles Dickens, they're pretty laid back, and will usually let you use their facilities without buying anything (unless you're one of those yellow-jacketed so-ca...
More About: April , Sunday , Part

Wednesday, April 4th, 2007: A spammed blog about Helsingborg
2007-04-04 08:45:00
What I think:I received a comment recently that was "written" in "response" to my blog entry Five Things You Don't Know About Me, which I wrote on February 3rd. This is it:"If you would like to really understand the Kennedy assassination, compare what Dorothy Kilgallen said about the assasination on November 29, 1963:http://surftofind.com/dorothyCompare what Dorothy said with what J. Edgar Hoover said on November 29, 1963:http://surftofind.com/documentAnd you must also understand what fake researchers like John McAdams are saying because they target the truth:http://surftofind.com/targetThe simple fact of the matter is that many so called Kennedy assassination researchers are trying to control free speach through domination rather than through the sharing of information. Researchers like Dorothy Kilgallen for example, seek to expose the truth. Writers like Gerald Posner seek to discredit those who expose the truth."Hhmmm...I managed to find a contact e-mail address for this drivel,...
More About: April , Blog , Wednesday , Helsing

Sunday, March 18th, 2007: Punk gig, pubs & snacks in Helsingborg
2007-03-18 16:05:00
What I think:For one of my birthday presents this year, my girlfriend decided to take me to a Punk gig in Helsingborg last week. The band was called Asta Kask, and they'd had some success in the Eighties. That was all I knew.As I've written before, there aren't too many places here in Helsingborg where they (occasionally) have good live music. So the gig took place at the Tivoli - the place. That's really the only place in town where you'll find anyone who may have heard of performing - and that's only if you heard of them a very long time ago, or if you have very eclectically obscure tastes in music.I was a little bit wary when the opening band started. Although their songs were in English, the lyrics had boringly predictable and bad rhymes (e.g. "Nothing's gonna change/Everything's the same", etc.), and there was absoutely nothing original about their music.I tried to keep an open mind, and hoped that Asta Kask would be better. I was not disappointed.Although I barely unde...
More About: Snacks , Sunday , March , Snack

Friday, March 9th, 2007: 42nd in Helsingborg
2007-03-09 00:09:00
What I think: It was my birthday yesterday; well today actually, as I haven't gone to sleep yet.Birthday: Marc h 8thNow: March 9thHere's me, a bit too bloody content: At first, I didn't want the photo above to be published, but then I thought: "What the Hell(singborg); I can pretend it's someone else who looks a bit like me."Ish.Here's a so-called Meme you can do when it's your birthday (enter your date in Wlikpedia (some may not be from Wiki)); and here's mine:- Three events in history that happened on my birthday:* 1844 - King Oscar I ascends to the throne of Sweden-Norway. * 1884 - Susan B. Anthony testifies before the Judiciary Committee of the House of Representatives arguing for an amendment to the U.S. Constitution granting women the right to vote.* 2007 - Anna-Nicole Smith's sex video "stolen". Err...Umm....Four other people born on March 8th:* 1896 - Charlotte Whitton, Canadian politician, Mayor of Ottawa (d. 1975)* 1945 - Micky Dolenz, American musician (The Monkees...
More About: Friday , Frida , Helsing

Tuesday, March 6th, 2007: Honoured for snow in Helsingborg
2007-03-06 17:38:00
What I think:Hhmm...It appears that I've been nominated for some kind of a Swedish Blog Oscar on a blog called Kulturbloggen.The nomination was triggered by my previous post, and is in the category of Snow .I swear it's true.It says, "I kategorin SnÃ¶ nominerar jag inlÃ¤gget Snowy Chaos in Helsing borg hos Mark Base.Eftersom det har flera bilder som hÃ¶r till inlÃ¤gget kan jag inte citera nÃ¥got ur det inlÃ¤gget heller. Ni fÃ¥r se det pÃ¥ plats i bloggen helt enkelt."This means, "In the Snow category, I nominate Snowy Chaos in Helsingborg at Mark Base. Because there are several pictures listened to in the egg, I can't cite something out of it in the egg either. You've simply got to see this at the bus stop."I guess my Swedish needs some improving.Go to that particular blog entry and see for yourself.While you're there, be good pals and nominate me in the comments, will ya? In fact, nominate me a couple of times - do what I did: In the name field, when you leave your second commen...
More About: March , Tuesday , Marc

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