simianfever simianfever Irreverent commentary, reviews and thoughts on life, movies, music, consumer products, crap, monkeys, apes and more. The latest and greates product reviews, humor, and art are also included. Fling poo with us. Articles
New Music: Interpol & Bad Brains
2007-07-01 23:01:00 This is sort of an unnecessary review. You are either in the “like them” or “don’t like them” camp with this band and they didn’t do anything from Turn On the Bright Lights to Antics to sway anybody from one camp to the next. And thus it continues on Our Love to Admire. Sounds like Interpol . If anything the songs are a tad bit slower with the exception of the already released single “The Heinrich Maneuver”. Standout song for me is “Wrecking Ball”. Weird tacked on trying to do something different song is album ender “Lighthouse.” Though not different enough to suggest actual change. 7 out of 10. Straight out of left field. Didn’t even know they were recording. Music ally this is reminiscent of Quickness more than any other album. Unfortunately while a lot of people love that album, I do not. I prefer the raw punk/hardcore Roir Sessions sound to the tight groove metal they retread here. There is some geeee-t... More About: Bad Brains , Brains
one of these things is not like the others
2007-06-11 04:26:00 I have so many questions… More About: Things , Like , Thing , The Other , These
The real question is?
2007-05-30 17:40:00 … does he make noises when he gets dressed? I also (unsuccessfully) tried to picture him with his arms tucked in, and legs bent straight backward at his torso, parallel to and on the ground. More About: Question , Real
Who Needs Sausage for their Holiday Cookout?
2007-05-26 18:06:00 Monster Pig Unfortunately the sausage is all gone, but the kid who shot this thing (with a handgun) got a congrats from a not dead Lynyrd Skynyrd member for whatever thats worth. More About: Holiday , Sausage , Usage , Sage , Ausa
Monkeys & Apes in the News 5/24/07
2007-05-24 17:23:00 mad monkey injures 35 on month long rampage! escaped zoo gorilla injures four. “He bit her, or I think he bit her, because when he stood up his mouth was covered in blood” YES! bubonic plague kills monkey at denver zoo. no doubt a test subject from the dastardly primates plans to eradicate the human race with ... More About: News , Apes , In the News , The News , Keys
Intarweb Lap, 5/14/07.
2007-05-14 23:20:00 Meet Lurch, the disabled cow. Play The People’s Mario. Violence at Cappy’s! I just picture myself sitting there kinda stoned and uncomfortable, watching it all in slo-mo. Stay away from them Chinese chickens. So this dude, who also happens to be a contestant on the upcoming CBS reality show Pirate Master, is interviewing at ...
tha difference ?tween loud n? soft
2007-05-10 02:43:00 As if my youtube obsession couldn’t get any worse…enter Roosevelt Franklin. More About: Soft , Loud , Difference , Ferenc , Ween
Intarweb Lap, 5/7/07.
2007-05-07 18:48:00 Oh shit, there’s a horse in the ATM machine. As Colin pointed out, Phillies’ manager Charlie Manuel was committed to Tom Gordon at closer, until Brett Myers “becomes better, or whatever.” 10 out of 10 geeks agree, Office Space is funny. Apparently Deerhunter gets their GG on. Reports from the Dismemberment Plan’s D.C. reunion ...
Some Netflix Whining? ?Waaaaahhh!!!?
2007-05-02 15:37:00 I don’t like when my Netflix discs arrive looking like this. Actually, while I have had large scratches and small cracks rendering my movie of choice unplayable upon arrival in the past I’ve never had a clean break like this until now. Usually reserved for Ryan’s (daily) emails, I bring some Netflix hate to the page. ... More About: Some
The Sea Ape
2007-04-25 16:32:00 So its been awhile since I’ve read a work of fiction. Sure the occasional old Poe or Blackwood horror story has seeped into my reading cannon, but I haven’t tackled a full fiction novel in sometime. If you don’t know why then you have some catching up to do here. Somewhat burnt out from the ...
Miller High Life directed by Errol Morris
2007-04-25 16:03:00 Arguably some of the best beer commercials in recent years are the Miller High Life ones directed by documentary filmmaker Errol Morris (The Thin Blue Line, A Brief History of Time, The Fog of War). Above is one of my favorites as it features a solid exterior shot of Twin Donuts from the old ... More About: Miller High Life
Intarweb Lap, 4/24/07.
2007-04-24 22:38:00 I’m hot ’cause I’m fly. You ain’t ’cause you not. At least that’s what the diagram says. Headline-only Onion article says it all about A-Rod. In case anyone missed it, Jerry Remy’s analysis of the pizza-throwing fan incident at Fenway Park is, as usual, more or less perfect. What I wouldn’t give to replace ...
Elvis, What Happened?
2007-04-24 08:20:00 Elvis, What Happened? On August 1st, 1977, fifteen days prior to the unfortunate, inevitably untimely death of Elvis Presley, author Steve Dunleavy with the help of three former Elvis companions told the not so shocking but bizarre story of a man on a downward spiral, literally, like a toilet flushing in a tell all book ... More About: Elvis , Pene
Monkeys & Apes in the News 4/19/07
2007-04-19 21:37:00 All due praise to the Lawgiver this month as monkeys and apes continue to make strides towards our eventual and inevitable dominance. Some small steps for sure, but how far off can it actually be? I for one will welcome my new bamboo cage home on the outskirts of Ape City. But how will you ... More About: News , Apes , In the News , The News , Keys
This Blue Holiday - Landscape of Exhaustion
2007-04-13 20:39:00 Good band, good music, good video, good people. Check it. tbh on myspace. More About: Holiday , Landscape , Blue , This , Land
Touchy subjects.
2007-04-13 16:56:00 The giant mess surrounding Don Imus’ now infamous comments has had me thinking quite a bit. I’d like to express some of my thoughts here, in a fairly disorganized manner. It’s my hope that all of these comments, opinions and ideas are read within the following context: a white author, raised to disapprove of discrimination ... More About: Touch , Ouch , Subject
Quote of the Day, 4/11/07.
2007-04-11 17:17:00 Dude, I am so sick of the Sox mania in this town. I love the team, grew up watching them, but it’s a bit fucking silly. You pay top dollar to sit in a shitty seat, facing the wrong way, while some ho in a pink Red Sox hat talks on her cell phone the ... More About: Quote Of The Day , Quote , The D
Intarweb Lap, 4/9/07.
2007-04-09 16:48:00 According to a “top homebuilder,” 2007 “will suck“. For those having escaped Medusa’s gaze, Eddie Van Halen is not looking so good lately. Some poor 17-year-old girl from Minnesota lost her dog. It came back. Or at least its head did. In a box. Here’s a robot constructed for the sole purpose of playing ...
Simianfever?s Tournament Pick?em
2007-03-13 18:41:00 Enter to compete for second place, behind reigning Oscar Pick em’ champ and soon to be Bracketologist, NuclearAdam, aka, ODEN’S BEARD. No $$$, just bragging rights. SIMIANFEVER PICKEM’ In order to join the group, follow the link above, or go to the game front page and click on the “Join Group” button. When prompted, enter the following information: Group ... More About: Men , Tour , Name , Ever
THIS IS? Adam?s Review of 300!
2007-03-09 22:54:00 300 @ 12:30 AM Late Thursday at the Metreon. The last time I went to a midnight showing of a movie was for Star Wars Deuce, Rise of the Clones, or something like that, and I can?t say I left the theater that night feeling any different than I did last night, walking out of Frank ... More About: Review , This , View , Adam
Monkeys & Apes in the News 3/9/07
2007-03-09 15:45:00 yer momma got ‘the crabs’ from a gorilla. a Tokyo Zoo’s “Escaped Orangutan Drill” featuring a guy in a costume, tranquilizer guns and masked keepers scares the hell out of kids! Hilarity in photos HERE. Don’t pass these up. a rare mountain gorilla birth in the Congo. tiger twins and orangutan babies- friends… for now. captive monkeys are not mall ... More About: News , Monk , Apes , Monkey , In the News
Intarweb Lap, 3/7/07.
2007-03-08 04:09:02 This picture is kinda hilarious, gotta hand it to the Pitchsnobs. Apparently some dude at Topps Baseball Cards snuck images of President Bush and Mickey Mantle into the background of a Derek Jeter card. Miller Lites and high-fives were had all around. Chris Russo’s tirade on Pacman Jones on WFAN a while back has some people (or maybe just “Breeze 50/50″) crying “‘cism” on an Intarweb bulletin board. We happen to think Russo’s diatribes are more or less priceless. Note, in the YouTube video, the gradual loss of headphones starting around 3:00 and culminating at about 4:15. Also, the “FINITO!” hand motions around 4:25. Yup, that’s what Scooter Libby needs. Donations. Perfect. From the Tulley Inc. Wacky Patent Archive come two more hits: Variable Gravity Gaming (forget international waters, think of the edge the house could get away with in SPACE!) and Log Purse And/Or Self Defense Weapon (as shown above; look like a hipp...
Crash Your 1.5 Million Dollar Car.
2007-03-07 04:08:04 So you pay around a million and a half for a car, one of a only few handfuls currently available and then promptly proceed to smash it. I can’t imagine what repairs would cost on car like this (a Bugatti Veyron), but if you can afford it to begin with maybe its not that big a deal. BTW, you wouldn’t think that red and black would be too bad a color combo for a sports car, but there’s your evidence. Ugh. More About: Dollar , Your , Lion , Crash , Million
Remember Tecmo Bo!
2007-03-07 04:08:04 The greatest star of any video game in the history of video games. Playing with the Raiders was like playing pacman with a flamethrower and spyhunter smokescreen. Bo knows.
Simianfever Penguin Plunge
2007-03-03 16:05:08 Against better judgement Simianfever.com has decided to support the Special Olympics by jumping into the Long Island Sound on March freakin’ 10th. We’d be remiss not to mention that we’d probably do this without a cause but having one at least allows us to pretend some level of sanity. Currently your snow monkeys are Ryan, Colin, Jeff, John and Ian. Feel free to visit our team page and contribute to one or more of the sponsors. Click on an individual’s name to donate to their jump. Ever y little bit helps and goes towards making a more rewarding life for those with disabilities. DONATE HERE. We are always looking for additional monkeys here at simianfever so if you feel you can better serve the Special Olympics by jumping into the icy and probably fairly dirty waters of the Sound yourself feel free to join our team and get some additional pledges. This all takes place March 10th at Compo Beach in Westport. Donate, Jump In, or Just Come Out to Support and Laugh... More About: Fever , Penguin , Guin
Legend of the Sea-Hag IPA
2007-03-03 16:05:08 One foggy saturday afternoon me matey John walked out of the mist holding in his hands a local legend. Six ferocious wenches of the water stared bleakly back at us from their dark prisons and begged to be set free. Not ones to dilly dally we jumped right in. The first bitter wave of taste hits hard and you wonder if the battle with this hag is already lost, but subsequent tidal shifts leave you floating merrily in her ghostly wake. Coming in strong from the New England Brewing Co. with a 6.2% alcohol content and full pale ale bitterness the Sea Hag is no battle for your average dramamine swallowing land lubber to tackle. However if you are up for a challenge persistence will be rewarded with solid beer enjoyment. Please keep in mind however, that drinking this concoction will severely hinder your Wii Bowling skills. Severely. Embarrassingly. Regardless- a good beer and lesson in local folklore delivered via a shiny aluminum can just can’t be beat. If you want to learn more abo... More About: Legend , A-Ha
Monkeys & Apes in the News 2/23/07
2007-03-03 16:05:08 chimpanzees continue to confirm their close relation to man after being observed using spears to hunt. baboons are as stressed out as you are. the Hall of Human Origins opens at the American Museum of Natural History in NYC. field trip? spider monkeys get their hug on to avoid gang violence Austria hosts the world’s first trial for the rights of an ape! More About: News , Monk , Apes , Monkey , In the News
Dunkin? Donuts Blueberry Coffee
2007-03-03 16:05:08 I feel like all I’ve been reviewing is D&D products but whatever, this one is on the up & up. Apparently there are a handful of new flavors. I was admittedly a little scared to indulge, more so after all employees in earshot informed me they had yet to try it themselves and requested a report back. It’s good. Es bueno. Shit be hot. Like someone put some blueberries in your coffee… which is much better than it sounds. More About: Coffee , Dunkin Donuts , Berry , Blue , Dunk
Intarweb Lap, 2/22/07.
More articles from this author:2007-03-03 16:05:08 I still hate John Mayer, but this exchange with Ryan Seacrest made me hate him a little less. The Onion delivers an “extremist” double entendre that we probably should have thought of a long time ago. Apparently Justin Verlander “halfwayed his way” through shoulder exercises last spring. Good thing I don’t live in China. The only thing funnier than picturing Jermaine Dupree, Nelly and PacMan Jones hanging out at a Vegas strip club together is maybe picturing them pouring some portion of $81,000 in cash out on the stage. And the only thing funnier than that would maybe be picturing them getting mad when the dancers scrambled to pick it up. Apparently a confluence of the NBA All-Star game and some other activities in Vegas last weekend led to 362 arrests. Which is scarier, Rich Garces (in general?), or J.D. Drew’s inexplicable, complete lack of skin pigment? The Arcade Fire are playing Saturday Night Live this week. If they play “No Cars... 1, 2, 3, 4 |
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