simianfever simianfever Irreverent commentary, reviews and thoughts on life, movies, music, consumer products, crap, monkeys, apes and more. The latest and greates product reviews, humor, and art are also included. Fling poo with us. 
Articles
Intarweb Lap, 4/9/07.
2007-04-09 16:48:00 According to a “top homebuilder,” 2007 “will suck“. For those having escaped Medusa’s gaze, Eddie Van Halen is not looking so good lately. Some poor 17-year-old girl from Minnesota lost her dog. It came back. Or at least its head did. In a box. Here’s a robot constructed for the sole purpose of playing ...
Simianfever?s Tournament Pick?em
2007-03-13 18:41:00 Enter to compete for second place, behind reigning Oscar Pick em’ champ and soon to be Bracketologist, NuclearAdam, aka, ODEN’S BEARD. No $$$, just bragging rights. SIMIANFEVER PICKEM’ In order to join the group, follow the link above, or go to the game front page and click on the “Join Group” button. When prompted, enter the following information: Group ... More About: Men , Tour , Name , Ever
THIS IS? Adam?s Review of 300!
2007-03-09 22:54:00 300 @ 12:30 AM Late Thursday at the Metreon. The last time I went to a midnight showing of a movie was for Star Wars Deuce, Rise of the Clones, or something like that, and I can?t say I left the theater that night feeling any different than I did last night, walking out of Frank ... More About: Review , This , View , Adam
Monkeys & Apes in the News 3/9/07
2007-03-09 15:45:00 yer momma got ‘the crabs’ from a gorilla. a Tokyo Zoo’s “Escaped Orangutan Drill” featuring a guy in a costume, tranquilizer guns and masked keepers scares the hell out of kids! Hilarity in photos HERE. Don’t pass these up. a rare mountain gorilla birth in the Congo. tiger twins and orangutan babies- friends… for now. captive monkeys are not mall ... More About: News , Monk , Apes , Monkey , In the News
Intarweb Lap, 3/7/07.
2007-03-08 04:09:02 This picture is kinda hilarious, gotta hand it to the Pitchsnobs. Apparently some dude at Topps Baseball Cards snuck images of President Bush and Mickey Mantle into the background of a Derek Jeter card. Miller Lites and high-fives were had all around. Chris Russo’s tirade on Pacman Jones on WFAN a while back has some people (or maybe just “Breeze 50/50″) crying “‘cism” on an Intarweb bulletin board. We happen to think Russo’s diatribes are more or less priceless. Note, in the YouTube video, the gradual loss of headphones starting around 3:00 and culminating at about 4:15. Also, the “FINITO!” hand motions around 4:25. Yup, that’s what Scooter Libby needs. Donations. Perfect. From the Tulley Inc. Wacky Patent Archive come two more hits: Variable Gravity Gaming (forget international waters, think of the edge the house could get away with in SPACE!) and Log Purse And/Or Self Defense Weapon (as shown above; look like a hipp...
Crash Your 1.5 Million Dollar Car.
2007-03-07 04:08:04 So you pay around a million and a half for a car, one of a only few handfuls currently available and then promptly proceed to smash it. I can’t imagine what repairs would cost on car like this (a Bugatti Veyron), but if you can afford it to begin with maybe its not that big a deal. BTW, you wouldn’t think that red and black would be too bad a color combo for a sports car, but there’s your evidence. Ugh. More About: Dollar , Your , Lion , Crash , Million
Remember Tecmo Bo!
2007-03-07 04:08:04 The greatest star of any video game in the history of video games. Playing with the Raiders was like playing pacman with a flamethrower and spyhunter smokescreen. Bo knows.
Legend of the Sea-Hag IPA
2007-03-03 16:05:08 One foggy saturday afternoon me matey John walked out of the mist holding in his hands a local legend. Six ferocious wenches of the water stared bleakly back at us from their dark prisons and begged to be set free. Not ones to dilly dally we jumped right in. The first bitter wave of taste hits hard and you wonder if the battle with this hag is already lost, but subsequent tidal shifts leave you floating merrily in her ghostly wake. Coming in strong from the New England Brewing Co. with a 6.2% alcohol content and full pale ale bitterness the Sea Hag is no battle for your average dramamine swallowing land lubber to tackle. However if you are up for a challenge persistence will be rewarded with solid beer enjoyment. Please keep in mind however, that drinking this concoction will severely hinder your Wii Bowling skills. Severely. Embarrassingly. Regardless- a good beer and lesson in local folklore delivered via a shiny aluminum can just can’t be beat. If you want to learn more abo... More About: Legend , A-Ha
Monkeys & Apes in the News 2/23/07
2007-03-03 16:05:08 chimpanzees continue to confirm their close relation to man after being observed using spears to hunt. baboons are as stressed out as you are. the Hall of Human Origins opens at the American Museum of Natural History in NYC. field trip? spider monkeys get their hug on to avoid gang violence Austria hosts the world’s first trial for the rights of an ape! More About: News , Monk , Apes , Monkey , In the News
Dunkin? Donuts Blueberry Coffee
2007-03-03 16:05:08 I feel like all I’ve been reviewing is D&D products but whatever, this one is on the up & up. Apparently there are a handful of new flavors. I was admittedly a little scared to indulge, more so after all employees in earshot informed me they had yet to try it themselves and requested a report back. It’s good. Es bueno. Shit be hot. Like someone put some blueberries in your coffee… which is much better than it sounds. More About: Coffee , Dunkin Donuts , Berry , Blue , Dunk
Intarweb Lap, 2/22/07.
2007-03-03 16:05:08 I still hate John Mayer, but this exchange with Ryan Seacrest made me hate him a little less. The Onion delivers an “extremist” double entendre that we probably should have thought of a long time ago. Apparently Justin Verlander “halfwayed his way” through shoulder exercises last spring. Good thing I don’t live in China. The only thing funnier than picturing Jermaine Dupree, Nelly and PacMan Jones hanging out at a Vegas strip club together is maybe picturing them pouring some portion of $81,000 in cash out on the stage. And the only thing funnier than that would maybe be picturing them getting mad when the dancers scrambled to pick it up. Apparently a confluence of the NBA All-Star game and some other activities in Vegas last weekend led to 362 arrests. Which is scarier, Rich Garces (in general?), or J.D. Drew’s inexplicable, complete lack of skin pigment? The Arcade Fire are playing Saturday Night Live this week. If they play “No Cars...
Simianfever?s First Annual Oscar Pickem?
2007-03-03 16:05:08 Get your Melissa Rivers ON!!! As a tune up for March Madness and a way for me to channel midday boredom, I’ve created a group on the MSNBC hosted Oscar Pick em’ Page. The site where the competition is held is HERE Join the Group, establish yourself on msn, and create an entry. Group Name: Simianfever Password: monkeys More About: Ever , First , Fever
WANTED: Valentine?s Brunch Bagel Thief
2007-03-03 16:05:08 Name: Lucy Marr Alias: “The Goose” Age: 2-3 Years Weight: 45-50lbs Want ed for the theft of a red dyed Bruegger’s plain bagel that took place this Sunday at Vale nti ne ’s Day Brunch under the noses of approximately twenty guests. The item in question was taken from a basket full of similar bagels on a coffee table in the living room at the Mraz residence at which point the suspect was chased into a kitchen full of party-goers to much boisterous laughter. Suspect is still at large.
Pitchers and Catchers and More.
2007-03-03 16:05:08 Ahhh.. its almost Spring. Or at least seems that way as pitchers and catchers report this week. This means the 2007 season of the Simianfever sport of choice Major League Baseball is just around the corner and we couldn’t be more ecstatic. With the NFL season behind us and the Knicks, Rangers and UCONN Men looking beyond sub par we only have this one thing to look foward to….good Olde Tymey Baseball. UCONN Women? We aren’t into teamwork and fundamentals so label us mysoginists if you must. How many WNBA games do YOU plan to attend this year? That’s what I thought. Carrying on… We are mostly Yankee fans here and while the cost of winning pains some, they are still our team. Some contributors may float towards Boston, having lived too long in the trenches, but I implore any New York sports fan currently living in the Beantown area to do as another intrepid transplant I met today did… buy the Colts Superbowl hat @ Lids and wear it proudly among your ... More About: Cat , Catcher , Cher , Pitchers , More
Garments that automatically disrobe in response to remote control means
2007-03-03 16:05:08 Check out this classy, classy patent application (U.S. 2005/0223479 to Griffits et al.): “A system of removing garments from a person (250) by remote control wherein garment closures open automatically in response to remote commands issued by an operator (249). These commands include the operator’s voice (246) and wireless commands issued by a Remote Undressing Means (247). A TV remote control (292) preferably may be used to issue undressing commands. Means internal to the garment closures (eg. clock (283)) may moderate opening of automated closures. Opening of garment closures may also be influenced by the GPS coordinates (244) of the wearer and by commands issued to plural wearers of auto-undress garments to enhance the enjoyment of games of chance (243), parties and dance (242) and music and video (242). Chemical light decorative means may be coupled to the garment and illuminated automatically, preferably under remote control.” Click here or the image above to ... More About: Remote Control , Men , Auto , Hat , Automatic
Simianfever Penguin Plunge
2007-03-03 16:05:08 Against better judgement Simianfever.com has decided to support the Special Olympics by jumping into the Long Island Sound on March freakin’ 10th. We’d be remiss not to mention that we’d probably do this without a cause but having one at least allows us to pretend some level of sanity. Currently your snow monkeys are Ryan, Colin, Jeff, John and Ian. Feel free to visit our team page and contribute to one or more of the sponsors. Click on an individual’s name to donate to their jump. Ever y little bit helps and goes towards making a more rewarding life for those with disabilities. DONATE HERE. We are always looking for additional monkeys here at simianfever so if you feel you can better serve the Special Olympics by jumping into the icy and probably fairly dirty waters of the Sound yourself feel free to join our team and get some additional pledges. This all takes place March 10th at Compo Beach in Westport. Donate, Jump In, or Just Come Out to Support and Laugh... More About: Fever , Penguin , Guin
Dunkin? Donuts Maple Cheddar
More articles from this author:2007-03-03 16:05:08 By now most fast food breakfast eating folks have tried McDonald’s McGriddle and been pleasantly surprised. Its good. The Dunk in’ Donuts “New England” Maple Cheddar? Not so hot. I’ve always found D&D breakfast sandwiches to be subpar and somewhat devoid of flavor and the new offering is no exception. The croissant is solid. The cheddar is cheddar. The microwaved egg pattie is typical. Its with the “maple” sausage that D&D falls short. I would not never refer to this ill meat circle as a maple “flavored” sausage. I will however refer to it as a sausage pattie that an employee who had syrupy pancakes for breakfast coughed on. Repeatedly. The kind of cough where food particles fly out of the back of the throat inadvertently, covering the sausage pattie in a subtle but nasty, old and chewed pre-enjoyed maple flavor. Just get the coffee. More About: Dunkin Donuts , Nuts 1, 2, 3, 4 |
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