Predator PressPredator PressThis is an adult site, and should not be viewed by anyone except blind people, and people with broken monitors. Articles
It's About Time
2008-03-26 11:11:00 Predator Press [LOBO] Brace yourselves ... for what I am about to reveal to you might just be such a profound shock to your unprepared noggin, it might twist your frail psyche into a pretzel. And not a warm, soft and chewy pretzel ... I mean a mind-shattered, neurosis-addled, learning impaired, curled-up-in-an-embryonic-position-in-the -corner-of-the-room stale kind of pretzel! Look at the date on this post. It clearly says "Wednesday, March 26, 2008", doesn't it?Now look at your calendar. Hm? Ha! Bask in the splendor, ye nonbelievers! Albert Einstein and, eh, lots of other noted physicists all said it couldn't be done. But by the simple act of putting a picture of the inside of my pocket in my pocket, I have shattered the Space-Time continuum. Indeed, it's all very scientific; you have to do long division, and there's lots of fractions an stuff. Nonetheless, I, LOBO, am speaking to you from THE FUTURE. ... In your face, you mathematical quacks! Further...
Illinois-Shaped Corn Flake Goes for $1,350 on eBay
2008-03-23 23:26:00 Predator Press [LOBO] I can’t believe this. $1,350!?! My dandruff flake shaped like Idaho hasn’t scored a single bid, and it's twice that size! I mean, I could see if it was a Lucky Charm shaped like the Hubble telescope, or maybe a string of Honeycombs that looked like the Laker Girls. But a Corn Flake shaped like Illinois ? … It wasn’t even frosted! I couldn't possibly imagine what Jesus would say. Happy Easter!!! More About: Ebay
How Would OJ Fare at Shark Boxing?
2008-03-21 16:51:00 Predator Press [LOBO] Once, on a trip with my mom, I was badly frightened by a clownfish after putting on scuba goggles off of Waikiki shore. Ever since, I've had a strange and morbid preoccupation with the Pacific Ocean. My mom wasn't a bad mom: she was just different. Don't judge her Or me. It's plainly my mother's fault. *** Our hometown Pianosa now has an exit off of I-80, and is starting to take shape. It's the only town in Illinois that has both ski resorts and tropical beaches, and located smack between a Denny's and a Shell Station. It has been statistically proven that on Saturday nights, 14% of the people at the Shell station know the directions to Pianosa ... the other 86% are looking for directions to the Denny's. I intend to change all this: I intend to make Pianosa the host of the first registered global exhibition match of a chum-soaked man in boxing gloves being pitted against a pissed-off 47' hungry Great White shark. Shark Boxing promise... More About: Fare
Ask LOBO
2008-03-20 16:05:00 Predator Press [LOBO] People are always asking me, "LOBO, after a mere four years, you've blossomed Predator Press into the colossal juggernaut of a blog it is today. What's your secret?" I always tell them the same thing I tell both of our readers. It all boils down to two things: Awareness, Determination, and above all Discipline. "A.D.D." for short. See, what most people don't realize is that blogging about something is exactly the same as actually doing it. Here you can pretty much say anything and everything in full confidence that a preponderance of lack-of-evidence to the contrary is virtually everywhere. You know how I blogged about having lost both arms when I was shot down in the Battle of Leyte Gulf? Well now the U.S. Navy blogs about sending me disability checks. And remember how LadyTerri and I got married last week? The miracle of blogging transformed our wedding from this: Into this: Don't believe me? Ask any successful blogger to sho... More About: Lobo
Playing With Matches
2008-03-19 00:17:00 Predator Press [LOBO] HINTSv One of these two will transport you into hellish wastelands, and subject you to unimaginable atrocities. The other will only write about it. One of these would wipe out the entire salad bar, and then make out with Princess Leia. The other is made of Latex and rubber. One of these is a visionary of internet comedy. The other is in a DVD my kid made me buy. One of these was in a TV series. The other runs a weapons factory for irate golfers. One of these two made an outrageously successful DVD. The other is somehow cashing in despite "Pet Detective", and Lemony Snicket's "A Series of Unfortunate Budget Surpluses". One of these two is a highly-pressurized windbag with a reflective surface, containing a gas that makes you talk funny when ingested. ... I can't tell the difference either. More About: Matches
The Truth about Tornados
2008-03-16 16:13:00 Predator Press [LOBO] Unlike the Discovery Channel, Predator Press doesn’t make you sit through an hour of excruciatingly boring “facts” and “proof”. We’re just going to come right out and say it in the opening paragraph: Tornados Do Not Exist. There. We said it. End of story. This myth –obviously perpetuated to maintain the billions of dollars America shovels into tornado “warnings”, safety equipment and protective gear every year- spins finally to rest right here, right now. Just like Bigfoot and the female orgasm, it's all hype and happity-horsecrap. No longer shall America be terrorized by legends designed to scare children to sleep! “But LOBO,” you say. “While I respect your staggering intellect, I’ve seen pictures of towns destroyed by tornados!” You call that proof? What if those people were just really messy? FEMA: ”My god … This place is a sty. What happened? Townsfolk: ”Um … tornado!” FEMA: ”Reall... More About: Truth , The Truth
Heather Mills Nets 50 Million for Four Year Marriage
2008-03-16 00:11:00 Predator Press [LOBO] Musical genius you are I say -but that’s6.5 Ashley Alexandra Dupres a day! [chorus] More About: Heather Mills , Marriage , Million , Year
A Fairy Tale
2008-03-15 02:56:00 Predator Press [LOBO] Once upon a time, in the sprawling wooded hills called Sprawling Wooded Hills, there was a quaint little hamlet called Towndaleburgville. This lovely little village was singular in that the people- peasant, pauper, knight, and baron alike- were all living very happily and contented in peaceful harmony. This was due largely in part to the glorious reign of the great King Artemis King. King King, while ruling his cheerful subjects in a fair and just manor, found much leisure time -as not much ever happened in Towndaleburgville- and spent most of his time solving puzzles and playing games with the brighter of his regents. One day his lovely daughter, the fair princess Phoebe King, was riding her horse to the outskirts of the land. She loved the beautiful countryside of Sprawling Wooded Hills, the smells of nature the friendly animals … but most of all, to view the sunset from a tall precipice at the southern part of the wood. She rode her beautiful ... More About: Fairy Tale , Tale
It's a Diabolical Thing
2008-03-14 05:34:00 Predator Press [LOBO] AS we can all see, the bravado of DONCO has been its own undoing: WITNESS the proof that Don possesses weapons of mass destruction! Currently he is constructing a giant Death Dog so devastating, once complete it will launch state-of-the-art unimaginable human-melting horrors and patio furniture from its sides. And not just any pooch: it's a Boston Terrier. ... I wouldn't want to be Boston right now. More About: Thing
Read this Post or DIE
2008-03-14 00:59:00 Predator Press [LOBO] After 57 episodes of "ASK A NINJA", I bought the book, T-shirt, the Neu Tickles album, the DVD, the cap, and some kickass black jammies. (Actually mine are dark green jammies; black jammies are described as difficult to get in Episode 1 ... but these are way cooler than black jammies: these got little froggies all over 'em.) ... As soon as that scary looking squirrel gets out of the front yard, I'm gonna open a can of whoop-ass. Maybe I'm late for the dance (again) and you've already seen these -there are like 75 million episodes. Still, I thought they were a lot of fun. Check 'em out if you haven't! More About: Post , Read
Fore Science
2008-03-13 02:42:00 Predator Press [LOBO] Following in the tradition of other great sages and intellects suffering from a deep crisis of Faith, I went golfing with Speedcat Hollydale. As a natural born athlete, I derive much pleasure from sports: distraction might be just what I need. "Fore !" I call. Throwing the golf ball up in the air, I smack it hard with the bat and it arced gracefully. The distance was good, but it landed far to the right of my target. "Dammit!" "That's a mean slice you have there," says Speedcat addressing his own ball. He had a curious habit of hitting the ball from the ground with a bent metal stick. "You should let me take a mulligan," I protest. "Not a chance," says Speedcat, concentrating. "I've already let you take six." "But a daiquiri umbrella was stuck in my facemask!" "Look," he says exasperated. "At some point you're just going to have to face the fact that you're gonna owe me that 100 bucks." Whock ... Crash! "Hah!" I says. "You did... More About: Science
The Prince of Dorkness
2008-03-11 01:20:00 Predator Press [LOBO] "What, brings you here today my son?" asks Father Fritz. "Well, Patrick Swayze's death really shook me up, and I'm getting married Friday." "I'm so happy for you my child!" says Fritz. "She's not Catholic," I says. "I've been trying to convert her, but she's really stuck on this whole 'Christian' thing. I just want to be sure I can tell her with absolute certainty she's going to suffer Eternity burning in Hell for her heathen beliefs." "What?" "Hey, I'm not doing those 'stand-sit-kneel-sit-stand-sit-kneel-stan d-kneel calisthenics every Sunday so's I can go to Heaven with a bunch of lazy hippie pagans." "But you haven't been to church since 1999!" "That was by your request." "You kept handing out Gatorade and towels and high-fiving people. It was very disruptive." "I was moved by The Spirit." "LOBO," says the priest, leaning back in his chair. "Have you ever considered any other religions? Perhaps becoming Jewish?" ... More About: Prince
Predator Press Loses Product Line to DONCO
2008-03-08 16:45:00 Predator Press [LOBO] Finally breaking the silence, blog mogul Don Lewis -author of "It's a Funny Thing"- has formally announced once and for all the sinister consolidation and centralization of humorous blogging from his notoriously evil fortress located in equally-evil Northern Idaho. While initially shocked at the subsequent hostile takeover of our highly-profitable line of frighteningly realistic Halloween costumes, the folks at Predator Press Fiendish Fashions are preparing to surrender unconditionally to welcome their new comic overlord and CEO. Frankenstein Dracula Ann Coulter Creature from theBlack Lagoon Frankly, these things were giving us the creeps anyway. More About: Product , Line , Predator
Did I Eat This?
2008-03-08 15:34:00 Predator Press [LOBO] After three years, I finally got my RSS feed working. I'm really impressed with myself. I called my dad. "Hey dad!" I says. "I got my RSS feed working!" "What? Who is this?" "Dad, it's me. LOBO." "Who?" "Very funny dad," I says chuckling. "You are coming to the wedding, right?" "What wedding?" "I am marrying the fair LadyTerri this week." "Oh man, she's hot." "I know!" I says. "Who is this really?" "LOBO," I says. "Remember? You are undefeated at finding the most Easter eggs. I was the short one wearing the blindfold." "Has it ever occurred to you that maybe your dad was the one hiding the Easter eggs in the first place?" "I found one on my Big Wheel yesterday." "Well I wouldn't eat it. Look. I'm sorry. I think you have the wrong-" "You used to drill us at 3:30 every morning in case of a zombie uprising." "3:30 in the morning?" "Unless it was Wednesday or Sunday. That's when we practiced for alien robot overlords." "I h...
Opinion: Fisting Not Just for Old People Anymore
2008-03-06 02:49:00 Predator Press [LOBO] You remember the drill: no sooner would you get that kickass skateboard ramp all set up and some blue-haired wrinkle kit runs out yelling "GET OFF OF MY LAWN!" Wobbling precariously on his or her rocker, they shook their liver-spotted and crunkly clenched hand menacingly at about eye-level to punctuate every syllable. But widely-embraced by America as a whole, 'fisting' is now being done by a whole range of generations: Years ago I fisted Madeline Albright repeatedly over her foreign policy. Now, disillusioned artists on American Idol are fisting Simon Cowell even as you read this. Heck, a guy fisted me earlier in traffic! 'Fisting' has sneakily entered the American lexicon of body language, and is rapidly rising to a level of globally recognized symbolism. Now that's progress. More About: People , Opinion
Rejection Coverage 2008
2008-03-02 20:47:00 Predator Press [LOBO] As today marks the last day of my stuff being featured in the Clay Pigeon, I've decided that I need to do something educational. As the sole source of news for millions and millions of readers, I figure Predator Press owed it to the masses to weigh in finally on the up-and-coming elections. Now when I say "up-and-coming", I mean to say November. That's nine more months of this crap, and I'm already sick to death of it. I can't turn on the television without seeing one or more of those windbag pricks. This country has completely lost sight of any semblance of importance and priority. What about our own princess in distress Britney Spears? Or the charming romantic misadventures of our own beloved Ben Affleck? I can't even remember the last time I saw a juicy scoop on Paris Hilton! Someone needs to get America back on track. The truth is none of the presidential candidates are touching on real issues the America cares about at all. It... More About: Coverage , Rejection , 2008
Te Amo
2008-03-01 17:28:00 Predator Press [LOBO #64] LOBO alternate personality #32 arrived at the Pearly Gates bewildered. The last thing he remembered was joining Ed Harris for pizza and bread sticks. ... and now he was dead. By now, there was a small line of LOBO personalities waiting to speak to Saint Peter. "Hi LOBO personality #32!", says LOBO personality #71 and #16 waving enthusiastically. "Jesus Christ what a handsome personality." "I was just about to say the same thing," grins LOBO personality #32. "You guys are downright gorgeous!" "What happened to you?" asks #71. #32 shrugs. "High cholesterol maybe?" "Wow," says #16. "Yeah," says #32. "What about you handsome devils?" #16 blushes. "You know I'm not sure. I was filling the car with gas, lit a cigarette, and everything went kablooey." "Could have been the mob," offers #71. "That's a really brilliant insight," ponders #16. "I never thought of that. It could have been a really ugly, jealous mob. #71, you must be a geniu...
Crackers
2008-02-28 05:31:00 Predator Press [LOBO] "Why'd you do it LOBO?" asks Ed, sharpening his bone cutter. "Why did I do what?" I says through the bathroom door. "Tell people you wrote the Hittites story!" "Well I wanted to be in the Clay Pigeon!" I says. "Pound for pound, I would put it up against anything out there. The King James Bible comes in at a measly 6.2 lbs, while my monitor comes in at a hefty 15.1. It's got, like, 10 pounds more funny! It's a comedy juggernaut." "I would've had it all," says Ed, trying the doornob. "Money. Power. Chicks ... But you hadda go ruin everything!" "Well, if it makes you feel any better, whenever I want to blog or read the King James Bible I have to do it from in here now." "From in the bathroom?" "Well this is where the scale is, dumbass." "Oh you'll have to come out someday," Ed growls. "Why?" "Well, I -I ordered pizza." "Really?" "Yes." "Did you get bread sticks?" More About: Crackers
My Alternate Personality is Ed Harris?
2008-02-26 01:40:00 Predator Press [LOBO] Imagine my surprise when I found out. My first tip off -well, my only tip off- was seeing this article in the Clay Pigeon. Damn that looks familiar I thought. And sure enough after scouring the Predator Press archives, I found it. At first I was mad. And for a lot of reasons ... I mean Ed Harris is a great actor, sure ... but he's no LOBO. Does he really share my loathe for Hittites? Or was Ed merely trying to ride the coattails of my fame, wealth and notoriety? -Maybe he was trying to topple the entire Predator Press Empire! That couldn't be it. He would have to be totally crackers to attempt something so foolhardy. Wouldn't he? HOUR 1 As the principles of Ockham's Razor cast doubt upon my initial state of denial, a wide spectrum of emotion finally settles at acceptance. The evidence is pretty clear: Ed Harris [Parcher] plagues Russell Crowe's [John Nash] sanity for a full two hours in 'A Beautiful Mind'. He's certainly g... More About: Personality
Roller Coaster
2008-02-23 14:42:00 Predator Press [LOBO] I don't even wear glasses. Why I would spend $300 on a pair is totally beyond me. But dammit, If I'm gonna spend 300 bones on glasses, I am going to wear them. Normally when you get your eyes dilated for a vision test, they will make you wait around for a little while until your vision returns. But the gnarly-toed hippopotamus woman who gave me the exam seemed strangely anxious to see me go. There's only so long I can sit around and comment on her lack of shaving prowess anyway. I'm a busy guy. With the case and receipts in a little plastic bag, I step out of the Lenscrafters and navigate through the crowded mall sort of leering at people. What good are $300 glasses if you can't leer at people? See these glasses buddy? $300. I didn't even take the tags off. But no one really seemed to care. Everyone was in this big line to get on the escalator. The announcement board to the left at first revealed only stick figures fornicating ...... More About: Roller Coaster , Roller
The Artichoke Debacle
2008-02-22 20:58:00 Predator Press [LOBO] On February 20, 2007 LadyTerri and I screened Danger Couch and the Tinsel of Doom. A review seemed appropriate. Unfortunately, the household was wracked with Strep and flu, and this brought Predator Press screaming to a temporary halt. Very unfortunate. There was much to write about. This was the day that Don Lewis had bestowed upon us the Quality Original Humor Award. The 'regular' news was fanastic blog fodder as well ... it was the day before the US Navy would miss the spy satellite they were trying to shoot down and accidentally 'liberated' the head off of the Statue of Liberty. Did the following Navy cover-up get mentioned in your much-lauded "Wall Street Journal"? No. And CNN and MSNBC ran with our glaring absence, writing puff-pieces on John McCain and wars and stuff. Those other so-called "news" sources are so completely devoid of any credibility, at first I was suspicious that the Navy wasn't trying to shoot down my spy satel...
Pandemic
2008-02-21 01:31:00 Predator Press [LOBO] Well everyone is sick with Strep, and my hot proofreader LadyTerri is out cold. Please forgive me for the numerous grammatical errors that are doubtlessly unfolding before you: I'll fix them as I find them. But there appears to be a strange confluence of new people reading this blog. What they are up to, I'm not sure. But I'm watching them too. Oh yes. I can almost feel those hungry lustful eyes: It's almost like my junior high school P.E. teacher in the shower all over again, but without that chlorine, latex and Old Spice smell. At least in part, I blame one of my fave writer-slash-bloggers Don Lewis who hath recently bestowed upon us the universally-coveted Quality Original Humor Award. Where and why Don got the idea this blog is humorous when I strive for nothing more than cold, clinical historical accuracy and fact completely escapes me. But step off: it's MINE ... Keep yer grabby mouse mitts where I can see 'em, pal. Especiall... More About: Pandemic
The Ominous Comma Code CRACKED!
2008-02-18 16:00:00 Predator Press [LOBO] It was on the tenth day of starin' up at the Serta -just as I was about to tear off the tag and incur the wrath of the mighty Diesel- when I had an epiphany: This isn't the first instance of the sinister Ominous Comma weaving his depraved will into the fabric of history. I started to see a pattern. Oh yes Brent. I'm onto you. *** I'll begin with the Bermuda Triangle. Oh, sure ... at first glance, it seems like a harmless geometric span of ocean that gobbles up ships and planes without a trace. But "Comma" starts with a "C", the third letter of the alphabet. And how many sides does a triangle have? Coincidence? Hardly. Where were you Brent? And what have you done with Flight 19? Then there is the Loch Ness Monster. I'm not 100% on the connection here, but it's hard to ignore the inescapable resemblance to the curved comma shape: it is my contention that it is actually a disguised submarine that Brent pilots to devour unsuspectin... More About: Code , Cracked
The Ominous Comment
2008-02-17 19:09:00 Predator Press [LOBO] Woe to thee, Brent. For trapped here under the bed for 9 days now, I have not been idle ... I've been plotting and planning my revenge! It was sheer good fortune that I found this single crayola, with which I've designed a mighty robot specifically to counter attack -and utterly decimate- your puny Ominous Comma Tambourine Army! See how it squishes your tanks? Hm? Even your helicopters fall helplessly to the righteous fire of its mighty .1,000,000 caliber machine guns that shoot from its eyes! While other bloggers might graciously accept your unconditional surrender, I am a very petty individual devoid of any class whatsoever: your long reign will be punctuated (clever, eh?) by the screams of you and your followers, and Predator Press shall rise to it's rightful place in the annals of destiny! I really did like the Danger Couch! DVD though. ... Is there any chance I can get it autographed? More About: Comment
Predator Press and the Dust Bunnies of Doom
2008-02-16 17:20:00 Predator Press [LOBO] Sorry it's been so long since I've posted. -It's hard to blog from under the bed. "What are you doing?" says LadyTerri. "Shhh!" I says. "Or HE will hear." "Who will hear?" "The Sinister Semicolon! The Executioner of Exclamations! The Apoplectic Apostrophe!" "Who?" "The Ominous Comma has declared me his nemesis!" LadyTerri sighs. "You haven't been to work in days." "Of course not. Sudden and horrible death stalks me at every turn!" Peering out at her ankles, I explain. "That's how it works. First you learn to trust Spellcheck. And then it's all lies upon lies." "Don't you think you're exaggerating?" "The evidence is overwhelming," I says. "Really?" "Yes," I exclaim, struggling to turn over under the box spring. "Remember how the toast burned Friday morning?" "Yeah," she says. "Brent," I reply. "And you know how the DVR cutoff the last 15 minutes of American Chopper?" "Yes-" "That was Brent too. And what about the neigh... More About: Doom , Predator
Beware, Creants!
2008-02-12 17:16:00 Predator Press [The Shart] As metropolitan Pianosa slumbers peacefully, I prowl the shadows in a sexy tight-fitting rubber suit, doling out evil and injustice that cannot be smoten! Wherever there is truth or justice I'll be there -shuffling up paperwork and casting serious doubt upon its credit rating. Tremble ye before my awesome powers of cunning and skill! Witness the full culmination of my long-sought revenge! (Well actually you have all been pretty nice. Lets call this 'prevenge'.) Swift, lethal and tenacious -like the shark- I'm always one step ahead of the authorities because I'm smart. -for I am The Shart. More About: Beware
The Heart of the Artichoke
2008-02-12 02:40:00 Predator Press [LOBO] Finally having lost faith in the "Rule of Law", I have chosen to follow the path of the Supervillain. LadyTerri found this rather laughable. "Supervillain?" she scoffs. "You passed out when I told you there were artichoke hearts in your salad." "I'm a vegetarian!" "Artichokes are vegetables." "Well, that explains the rather lackluster effect of me gaining the vitality and courage of the artichoke by eating it's heart," I concede. "If you're a vegetarian, why do you always want me to make pork chops?" "'That which does not bend breaks,'" I recite wisefully. "Stop quoting fortune cookies," she demands. "Look," I insist. "I need a certain number of pork chops a day. I'm hypoglycemic." "So you're going to be the world's first hypoglycemic quasi-vegetarian Supervillain? You blubbered like a sissy when Bambi's mom got shot." "Hypoglycemics are prone to counter-regulatory hormones triggered by the falling glucose, and the neurog... More About: Heart , The Heart
Making History
2008-02-09 02:43:00 Predator Press [LOBO] First my apologies: I did not mean to mislead millions of you readers into thinking I was running for President in that last post. Please get off of my lawn. As you may remember -and as was well-documented by Mr Insanity in the vast Predator Press archives- I ran for President in 2006. I spent $4.1 million on my campaign. Nobody voted for me. Not one person. ... These "elections" are totally rigged! I learned something that awful and momentous day: Why make your own mistakes, when throughout history there have been hundreds of perfectly good dumb people, doing thousands of dumb things? You should never, for instance, call King Henry the Eighth an impotent limp-dick. Or call George Bush Senior the 'wimp president'. Don't go to Mel Gibson's house to show off your new spiffy new dradle. Don't watch the last episode of Mash for a happy ending [*spoiler alert* Henry dies and Winchester doesn't. Oooooo I hate that snooty Winchester!]. And, a... More About: History
Predator Press Interviews: Barack Obama
2008-02-08 01:18:00 Predator Press [LOBO] Uncharacteristically prepared for this historic interview, I am a little stunned at Obama ’s well-groomed and relaxed demeanor. However, a seasoned journalist, I’ve learned to face these surprises with an icy cool that only comes with experience. We professionally shake hands, and the interview begins. -But armed with tedious 'facts' and stuff, I come out swinging. LOBO: So why’d you do it? Obama: Excuse me? LOBO: You know what you did. [Obama shrugs, bewildered] LOBO: You know, that whole "September 11th" thing. Obama: I think you are thinking of Osama. LOBO: Who? Obama: Osama Bin Laden. LOBO: Who are you? Obama: I’m Barack Obama . LOBO: No relation? Obama: No. LOBO: Ever think about attacking America with airplanes? Obama: No. LOBO: Ever been on an airplane? Obama: Yes. LOBO: But never thought of attacking America with it? Obama: No. I did, however, remove my seat belt before the light instructed me to. L... More About: Interviews
Oh, It's ON. No, Wait ... It's Off Again.
More articles from this author:2008-02-06 01:28:00 Predator Press [LOBO] As I stare up at the roof of the ambulance, I suppose there were a lot of reasons not to except a challenge from Style Swags 8 year old yellow-belted daughter. First of all, from the locker room to the cage in the center of Madison Square Garden was a really long walk. In retrospect, this was part of her strategy I'm sure: by the time she was gluing the broken glass shards and razorwire to her gloves I was already winded. I don't really remember much after that ... just a lot of fuzzy images of her staring down at me going, "How do you like me now?" [foot to head] "How do you like me now?" [fist to appendix] and "Quit crying, you sissy!" [appendix to face] ... then there was a whole lot of screaming and begging, mercifully followed by confetti and Hannah Montana songs. I hate sports. More About: Wait 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 |
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