Witty Ramblings Of A Lower Class Immigrant Witty Ramblings Of A Lower Class Immigrant Tamiki.com is an original humor site with witty, clever, and hilarious writing. Many posts are inspired by or revolve around serious social, political or economic issues.They are all funny...sometimes. Written by a 22 year old math student. Articles
You know the Mitch Hedberg ant farm joke?
2007-05-26 07:36:00 I once took a tap dancer to Central Park for date, because hello… park dates are free. We were sitting against a tree, when an ant crawled up her back. Naturally, I volunteered to remove that ant from her back. Eventually, after fumbling around her bra strap for a few moments, I grabbed the ant. The girl let ... More About: Relationships , Joke , Personal life , Farm , Berg
You?re a pervert tamiki? and you make corny jokes like the ones below
2007-05-26 07:16:00 I like to go to Hawaii with a lawn mower… it let’s the hula dancers in grass skirts know that I mean business. The grass skirts are the reason there are no cows in Hawaii. Hawaii is a republican state, because when they make the skirts… they like to remove all the grass roots. Why yes, ... More About: Jokes , Travel , Make , Like , Below
Laugh at me, not with me?
2007-05-25 00:25:00 disclaimer: this might be too dark for some people. if that is the case, just turn up the brightness on your monitor. also, any allusion to racism or African American persecution does not make me racist - i’m just writing on a monochrome monitor. i’m in bed, writhing in agony. it’s spring, and the weather is ... More About: Death , Laugh
Hope your friends have a sense of humor
2007-05-24 12:07:00 Disclaimer: I am not racist. This is only a joke. Next time you arrive at a party, bring a bag of Oreos and announce your entry by shouting, “Hey, hey, I brought the Uncle Toms…” More About: Humor , Sense , Friends , Racism , Hope
I hope my new apartment has padded walls - another corny statistics joke
2007-05-24 04:00:00 This is true - not a fabrication: My psychiatrist used to be a chef de poisson (fish) at a four star NYC restaurant… So he understands all the tests for normality. Open up a probability and statistics book if you didn’t get it. More About: Mathematics , Joke , Statistics , Hope , Stat
More corny filler inspired by my math final exams
2007-05-23 06:16:00 What did the statistician say to the carpet store owner? “I’d like to see a small sample please.” This statistics joke was made on account of tamiki.com having its 30,000th visitor since launching on March 14th, 2007. That’s normal, I suppose More About: Mathematics , Exams , Final , Math , Exam
Man?s best friend: What the Bible left out
2007-05-20 12:31:00 The first caveman went to have sex with his cavedog. But the cavedog said, “Let’s just be friends.” Thus it came to pass that female cavedogs would be known as “bitches.” More About: Wildlife , Bible , Friend , Left , What The
Investment guru makes new move - Part 5
2007-05-19 14:54:00 Click here for Part 1. You can do a search for “buffet,” for the other posts, on your left. The joke in this one is a little different than the rest. The joke is reversed, and not as obvious. Two years ago, billionaire investor Warren Buffet bought a huge stake in the Anheuser Busch beer brewing ... More About: Business , Reading , Wildlife , Investment
I?ll post something good after my finals are over? don?t be greedy? :)
2007-05-19 14:26:00 I’m a Pakistani kid who is 5 feet, 5 inches (my picture’s in the animated banner). When the movie Harold and Kumar go to White Castle opened up, I went to with a Korean friend to see it. I went up to the ticket counter and said, “Two for Eddy and Mahmoud go to Burger King, ... More About: College , Post , Pop Culture , Personal life , Finals
You?ve walked randomly on the web to this site?
2007-05-19 07:06:00 You see how corny it is, but as least now you can form an expectation. Approved by tamiki as a very geeky probability theory joke. More About: Mathematics , Site , Walk
tamiki, this is corny. you are such a geeky football coach
2007-05-19 00:01:00 Anyone who has studied discrete financial math and option pricing knows that money does grow on trees… wakka wakka wakka More About: Mathematics , Football , Coach , Geeky , Ball
Russell Peter says, ?Somebody gonna get hurt real bad?
2007-05-18 21:44:00 Note: This website is not about reposting content from other parts of the web. You can go to “So Silly…” for that. That being said, I am not reposting this image just for the sake of it. Read below, please: Now, how exactly do you coerce a 12 year old girl, who is aggressive enough to ... More About: Society , Hurt , Real , Sell , Russell
Sometimes, I lie in bed thinking about life with a third nipple?
2007-05-18 21:17:00 When people find out all the things I do, they call me a ‘jack of all trades,’ but I’m only just a 7 or 8. More About: Life , King , Times , Thinking , Third
okay tamiki, they should have your arrested? or at least sent to Orange Cou
2007-05-18 20:41:00 One day, after a big terror threat in the news, I passed a busy crowded street while walking to school. I was carrying a large text book - accounting, I think. I got a twisted idea, and I dropped the textbook from over my head, making sure it slammed flat on the ground. BOOOOOOM!!!!!!!! It made a ... More About: Arrested , War , Orange , Personal life , Have
Traffic Report on the ones - random silly puns and stuff
2007-05-18 00:21:00 A stalled bar on the corner of West 86th and Lexington is creating less congestion around the surrounding urinals. We advise seizing this opportunity for unloading (no dumping) at the urinals - A standing only zone, no parking allowed. Becareful not to cut anyone or anything off while zipping up. No blow drying in the ... More About: Traffic , Random , Report , Stuff , Illy
On death, taxes and finals
2007-05-17 20:23:00 Now that the college semester is wrapping up, people (who don’t have finals) are going around saying, “I’m done, I’m finished!” I still have finals, so I say, with a smile, “Really, when are they burying you?” Always get a giggle from the ladies. Taxes don’t seem so bad now, do they… More About: College , Death , Finals , Fina
A conry, nerdy, geeky, and corny pun by your favorite immigrant football co
2007-05-17 19:46:00 The tamiki.com URL was banned from digg.com, because I didn’t follow proper internet protocol… wakka wakka wakka More About: Football , Geeky , Grant , Favorite , Nerdy
Nothing to see here? move along
2007-05-17 04:41:00 My psychiatrist has increased my dosage of anti-depressant medication, and yet again altered the rest of my drug cocktail. Hopefully, this change will allow me to write more on the site. I also have finals coming up, so I won’t be writing as much quality or non-quality stuff. In the mean time, for other non-quality ... More About: Drugs , Wildlife , Personal life , Move , Here
oh tamiki, you didn?t do that, did you?
2007-05-16 03:55:00 I went to the Staples customer service counter and asked the representative if the “easy” button applied to girls as well… She was not amused. When I winked at her and said, “The ad says I can make things easy, like you,” she called security. Good thing there is an office max nearby - I ... More About: Personal life , That
random filler
2007-05-16 01:28:00 I saw a special news feature about a male hawk in Austrailia who returned to his nest, only to find her partner laid eggs fertilized by another male.When his partner flew off to eat, he kicked the eggs out of the nest. Clearly, the hawk was a democrat. More About: Politics , Relationships , Wildlife , Random , Fill
Investment guru makes new move - Part 5
2007-05-14 19:54:00 Click here for Part 1. You can do a search for “buffet,” for the other posts, on your left. Two years ago, billionaire investor Warren Buffet bought a huge stake in the Anheuser Busch beer brewing company. His reasoning was that ?there is a high probability that people will be drinking alcohol until the end ... More About: Investment , Move , Make , Invest
Get, that, dirt off your shoulder?
2007-05-14 19:46:00 If you haven’t seen tamiki.com’s first award in its two month existence, here it is: If you think there is still time to get AA?s message of hope, you?ve misread the award. Congratulations, you are probably still under the influence and should nominate a loved one. This was awarded to tamiki.com by tamiki. Don’t forget to ... More About: Should , Dirt , That
White people listen to rap music on white iPods
2007-05-14 14:34:00 Note: Like all other posts here, this article is not meant to be taken seriously. “And if you don’t know, now you know, nigga… ” My non-iPod MP3 player was stolen by one of NYC’s many minority groups. This minority on minority crime has to end, but I guess who ever did it couldn’t ... More About: Business , Music , Technology , People , Pop Culture
JP Morgan has nothing on web advertising
2007-05-14 06:06:00 The Iron Curtain has officially fallen. It’s a sad day for communism, indeed, as I’ve just put ads on tamiki.com. Maybe they’ll pay for the hosting, or maybe they’ll just be more junk on the site. Speaking of communism, I used to work for the New York City 311 Call Center. One day, someone else’s supervisor ... More About: Advertising , Web Advertising , Morgan , Sing , Advert
A mother?s day ballad - tamiki.com?s first ballad
2007-05-13 19:19:00 Disclaimer: I do not hate homsexuals. I am merely pointing out some of the complexities of our open culture and society in the west in a light hearted, fun way. I am an equal opportunity offender, as evidenced by other posts on this website. This is the ballad of mother’s day written by two men who are ... More About: Society , Politics , Relationships , Feminism , Mother
Have you ever said, ?It?s not the heat, it?s the humidity?? and other rando
2007-05-13 07:45:00 I recently called tech support for Old Navy, the clothing store. Tech support: Sir, have you tried unzipping the fly before you urinate?… Thank you so much for shopping with us. Oh… okay, problem solved. Seriously, I’m writing this because of something else. I know I’ve made at least two references to outsourced tech support already on ... More About: Heat , Have , Ever , Midi , Said
One of the many spam letters in my inbox:
2007-05-11 20:00:00 Suicide Risk Said Higher for Veterans http://www.forbes.com/feeds/ap/2007/05/10 /ap3708804.html Dear reader, I am a US Green Beret that was trapped in solitary confinement in a Chinese prison for the last 12 years. I am back in the States, but the government has forgotten about me. I do not exist to them. But now, the internet allows veterans like me to ... More About: Politics , Business , Spam , War , Poverty
On Decency by John Stuart Mill
2007-05-11 07:42:00 The 10th of May 14, 2007 (Year of the Pig in Chinese): This post is also entitled “Come back when the soup kitchen cares - Part 2.” Click here for part 1. I’ve been posting a lot of crap lately, and this post is about just that. Crap and my posting of it. This post is not ... More About: John , Personal life , Stuart , Decency
Even more shit from when I was high
2007-05-11 03:32:00 When a charactoon character eatings something hot and spicy (like a pepper), they show it my making him breathe fire. That’s why kids don’t want to eat any damn vegetables. They equate peppers with breathing fire. “Elmer Fudd, why are you breathing fire when you ate that pepper.” “Aduhhh, uhhh, cause it’s hot.” I’ve never seen a coffee ... More About: Food , Shit , High , When , More
I didn?t know retards got hungry - more shit from when I was high
More articles from this author:2007-05-11 03:27:00 International Federation of Competitive Eating - IFOCE - http://www.ifoce.com/ Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest - www.nathansfamous.com/nathans/contest/ Nathan’s hot dog eating competition is just one of those things, you know… I thought, “What if they had a rice eating competition… with chopsticks?” I can’t use chopsticks for shit, it’s too damn hard. I don’t have the coordination. Then I thought, ... More About: Food , Shit , High , When , Know 1, 2, 3, 4 |
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