Ken Pyle's Flopsweat Ken Pyle's Flopsweat Official blog of comedian Ken Pyle. he documents his trials and tribulations as well as his jokes. Articles
A New Revised Routine
2007-03-23 19:35:00 I have to give credit where credit is due. I had utter dogshit this morning. In the last 24 hours, Christen has REALLY helped me break through this writer's block. I'll even go as far as to say, about 3/4ths of the carnival bit she came up with and we worked it out together.Here's the routine I have for tonight. Christen did such a great job coming up with lines. Kudos to you, dear.Nothing unites people like March Madness. People that I know that arejustincredible racists suddenly have a dream.. and that dream isFlorida over UNC by 3.They wouldn't care if the Ohio StateBackcourt is engaged to their daughter as long as they win the SouthRegional.That's why March Madness should be the "real" Blackhistory month.Fuck George Washington Carver.. who gives a shitabout peanut oil? Could he crossover dribble? I doubt it. GWC couldn't go hardto the rack, he'd be two worried about elbows to his head.Youcould make an amazing BHM NCAA team.You've got Stevie Wonder atthe point, dishing no...
Anorexia, why I want to be in an insurgent video and more....
2007-03-23 19:30:00 I had a pretty shitty week.I had my thursday night show last week, which I thought went really well. I don't take compliments well and when it comes to my comedy, I'm incredibly critical of myself.It came off pretty good, but there's at least 20 things in there that I picked out that make me want to get capture by an insurgent and hope he saws my fat head off.I never realized how fat I've gotten until just now. I still think I'm about 100 lbs. lighter (about 5 years ago now...)when I was actually in good shape and it really irritated me. I took my shirt off the other day and looked at myself in the mirror. After seeing all the stretch marks I should be renamed Rand McNally. (Yes, that was a hack atlas/road map joke.)Anyways, it went ok and people have been complimentary.. I just hated it because that's the reason I am the way I am. Every verbal tick, every stutter made me want to turn off the video.. but after it all, I guess I'm happy.I only wrote one or two things this week... More About: Video , Anorexia , Gent , Urge
Exactly What You'd Think Would Happen to Me
2007-03-23 19:28:00 Well, I performed again last night. I wrote a really tight set, about 4 minutes long. I'd been using my blogs for material and writing new topical stuff to drop in with the stuff I've been writing for about a year now.Last week, my car was broken into and my laptop, briefcase and tape recorder were stolen. Because of that, I had to go out and buy a new tape recorder. I was really happy because I found a cheap digital voice recorder that doesn't need tape and looked like it would do the trick.I got it before class at Wal-Mart and went over. I had a few beers to loosen me up a bit because I get REALLY nervous. I didn't realize how fast I was drinking and by the time class started, I had a bit too much. It was cheap because I got a pitcher for 6 bucks and someone else bought me a beer or two. All this drinking, in about an hour.So, when class rolls around to the performance, I'd been FURIOUSLY trying to remember my set, get the list written down and work out the flow a bit.I get o...
The Bucket
2007-03-23 19:25:00 Thursday, January 25, 2007The bucket in my grandmother's car.My grandmother was a strange cat.My wife and I were just sitting here talking and all of a sudden, I remembered this. My family can comment and confirm the existence of this bucket and the story.My grandparents decided to move into the woody northern reaches of Pennsylvania, sometime in the 70's. She's always been a bit..... insane.That being said, one of the absolutely most bizarre things she ever did and trust me there's a fucking laundry list of shit; is "the bucket"."The Bucket" is the embodiment of what is truly wrong in my family. It was blue, older than anyone of the grandchildren and... well, I don't want to ruin the suspense."The Bucket" is something we uncomfortably laugh off at family get togethers, something that gets those "shared experience half-giggles" followed by a long pregnant pause of discomfort where you want to itch your brain because it's so embarassing.I don't know of anyone else in my life t...
List of Lists
2007-03-23 19:20:00 Another Dogshit Blog Entry -- The List of Lists .In about one week, I start my comedy classes in Philadelphia. I've been trying really hard to write a lot of material in a short amount of time so I can come in with some stuff to work on.I realize now that I'm not doing standup to be rich, famous or even successful. I'm doing it for the approval and acceptance of others. It's either standup or pole dancing, which on a positive note, I totally have the tits for.I've read a bunch of books with exercises in them that are supposed to make you funnier or some shit.One of them that sticks out is making a list of lists, here are mine:The top ten things I've picked off of my body in order of tasteThe Two Worthwhile things my wife has interrupted major sporting events withThe Top Twenty chores Jon M. has performed shirtless in order of sexinessFifty incurable disaeses I'd like a reality game show to infect people withTwenty things my dogs caught me doing that I really wish they didn't,... More About: List of Lists |
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