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The World as it should be

The World as it should be
The news as it happens, before it happens or perhaps as it should have happened.

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Articles: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

Articles

Community bemoans immigrants lack of integration
2007-07-03 23:13:00
Many communities have problems with the integration of immigrants, but it seems that one in particular has reached the end of its tether and decided to speak frankly about the problem. "The Americans come over here and take over our businesses," complained Pierre Facturations-Valeer, a spokesman for the International Comm unity . "They bring their disgusting food and drink, stinking the place up." continued Monsieur Facturations-Valeer, "You can smell a Pizza Hut from miles away." Other members of the international community expressed similar feelings about the United State?s lack of... [Visit website for more]
More About: Integration , Integra , Unity

Royal Mail candidate misses rejection letter
2007-07-01 21:03:00
There were red faces at the Royal Mail ?s headquarters on Monday when Sally Billingsworth arrived to take up her new job. "I had applied for the role of Lost Post Analyser," explained Ms Billingsworth. "I went through all the interviews, selection panels and aptitude tests but didn?t hear anything back. So I assumed that I must have got the job and just turned up." It seems that the rejection letter that Sally should have received had, ironically, been lost in the post, and thus at the start of last week there were two new Lost Post Analysers waiting to start their jobs. "Well, you know,... [Visit website for more]
More About: Letter , Rejection , Royal Mail

Tony Blair is new peace envoy to Big Brother House
2007-06-29 21:56:00
In a surprise move, Channel 4 has introduced former Prime Minister Tony Blair and his wife Cherie as the latest occupants of the Big Brother house. Mr Blair?s sponsors have backed the move confirmed a spokesman for the quartet of the UN, EU, USA and Russia. "The level of conflict within the house has been escalating to a point where only someone who has had the successes of Mr Blair can hope to bring a sense of normality," said Kurt Billingsworthski of the quartet referring to the Northern Ireland peace process. "Let me be clear, this task will require a huge intensity of focus and work,"... [Visit website for more]
More About: Peace , House

Women?s Institute admits ?policy not fit for purpose?
2007-06-27 23:04:00
An independent internal review into the policies of the Women ?s Institute conducted by consultants KPMG has concluded that their key mass organisational strategy is not performing to expectations. "Sadly we have to accept that one of our key policies is only partially effective at best," sad a... [Visit website for more]
More About: Policy , Purpose , Poli

Britain unveils GPS replacement
2007-06-25 21:25:00
The Ordnance Survey today revealed its plans to produce a replacement for the ageing Global Positioning System (GPS) in common use for both military and civilian navigation. The new system, seen as a cost-effective alternative to the troubled European Galileo system, has a working title of Pub... [Visit website for more]
More About: Britain , Lace , Veil

Foster?s launch "blunt" lagers
2007-06-21 20:27:00
Brewing giant Foster ?s today launched a new range of beers with more straightforward names and labelling. "We wanted to capitalise on the famed Australian ?tell it how it is? nature," explained Bruce Billingsworth, MD of Marketing at Foster?s. "The idea has proved successful with Australian wines... [Visit website for more]
More About: Launch , Blunt , Lager , Ager

ITV to be replaced by YouTube
2007-06-19 21:22:00
Today bosses at struggling channel ITV have announced that all programming will be replaced with videos from YouTube. "We have to react to the ever changing and challenging world of Television, " said Gerald Billingsworth, head of Light Entertainment at Granada TV. "Our competitors such as the BBC... [Visit website for more]
More About: Youtube , Lace

Video solves "Car death family" mystery
2007-06-17 18:55:00
Police in the Netherlands today released a statement confirming that they have solved the mysterious deaths of four members of the Rekeningwaard family. They were found dead in their Humvee last month after apparently having lunch from a drive through restaurant. "Initially we were confused,"... [Visit website for more]
More About: Video , Family , Death , Mystery , Myst

Baby boom in paternity leave case
2007-06-15 21:03:00
Today marked the beginning of an employment tribunal in Birmingham, the outcome of which might change employment law in the UK. "For decades, parents have campaigned for the rights to increased parental provision in the workplace," said Geoffrey Mansfield, lawyer for the plaintiff. "Only recently... [Visit website for more]
More About: Baby , Leave , Paternity , Case , Boom

Farmers demand greater crop circle subsidies
2007-06-13 22:56:00
Farming representatives today began lobbying the European Union for greater financial compensation for the phenomena of crop circles. Amos Billingsworth, owner of a huge farm near Yatesbury in Wiltshire, farm shop proprietor and owner of ?Industrialists in Wellies Weekly? began the campaign with a... [Visit website for more]
More About: Circle , Farm , Crop , Farmer , Eater

Big Bro Posh Spice wannabe wannabe launches career
2007-06-11 18:10:00
A devoted fan spoke to the media today about her aspirations to emulate her heroine and Big B rother 8 contestant, Chanelle Hayes. "Chanelle is my hero," said Chardonnay Bucket, 18, from Formby in Merseyside. "I have followed her entire week-long career and think she is just wonderful. The way she... [Visit website for more]
More About: Posh , Career , Posh Spice , Spice

First "Big-Boned" skeleton discovered
2007-06-09 21:28:00
Egyptologists today revealed details of what is believed to be the first example of a ?big-boned? skeleton ever discovered. The ?big-boned? phenomenon is one that has mystified physicians for decades since despite the millions of apparent sufferers, no skeletons have ever been found. "We were... [Visit website for more]
More About: Skeleton , Disco , Bone , Covered , Discover

Queen condemns paparazzi intrusion
2007-06-07 21:10:00
Today, in a break with tradition, Her Majesty the Queen lashed out at the media and what she feels is the constant intrusion of press-pack and photographers into her life. Queen Elizabeth II is said to be the person who has had more photographs and other likenesses of her than any other person in... [Visit website for more]
More About: Paparazzi , Sion , Conde , Intrusion

Creationists : ?Maps are the work of the Devil?
2007-06-06 08:06:00
The ongoing debate between evolutionists and creationists has escalated as the proponents of "Intelligent Design" have lashed out at cartographers as being "purveyors of Evil". Pastor Jesse Billingsworth of the Glen-Rivers Baptist Church of Nashville, Tennessee in the USA, made the comments during... [Visit website for more]
More About: Work , Maps , Devil , The D , Creationists

New Olympic logo revealed
2007-06-04 20:30:00
The new logo for the 2012 London Olympic s has been revealed to the public. It will be the branding adopted on all signage and merchandise. It is hoped its new dramatic style will reflect the true value of the games to Londoners on the world at large. "We feel that the new dynamic styling of the... [Visit website for more]
More About: Logo

Hasty release of new cricket game
2007-06-03 01:42:00
Billingtons Game s has announced the latest version of its ever popular whodunit game - Cluedo, this time with a sporting theme - Test Match Cluedo. "Cluedo has been thrilling generations of games players since 1948 and we feel that now is the perfect time to launch Test Match Cluedo," said Dr... [Visit website for more]
More About: Cricket , Release , Lease , Ease

Knives to carry warning labels
2007-05-31 14:35:00
Following hot on the heels of the voluntary move by the alcohol industry, knife manufacturers across the UK are applying warning labels to their products in an effort raise awareness of the challenges of knife ownership. "We recognise that in today?s modern Britain more and more products are being... [Visit website for more]
More About: Labels , Warning , Abel , Knives , Carry

Dutch game show threatens UK lottery
2007-05-30 02:20:00
Mandarins at the NHS have received the news that a new Dutch game show gives the winning contestant a life-changing kidney transplant with horror. ?Even if you ignore the obviously tasteless nature of this programme,? commented Sir Marmaduke Billingsworth of the Weatherfield NHS Trust. ?The fact... [Visit website for more]
More About: Game Show , Show , Lottery , Game

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