The Web Pen Blog The Web Pen Blog A humorous blog by an improv comedian who is trying to script things that are made up. Get yourself a sardonic pop-culture hug. 
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Roundup - Catch-up
2008-02-01 22:07:00 The weekly collection of interesting reads from around the blogosphere. Want to display your pride in making the roundup? Click here. Yeah, yeah, it’s been forever and I’m going to miss some stuff I’m sure; however, here’s what I remembered to mark for inclusion. Enjoy! Can’t decide on the two Democratic candidates with any delegates left like me? Rick picks Obama. Scott picks Clinton. Both are good pieces. Hot Doctor Wife weighed in our her right to do whatever she damn well pleases with her body — and it’s all from real-life experience. This funny video was posted by Jestertunes back in December (see how long it’s been?) Want to see the best space pictures of 2007? Check out National Geographic’s page. Scott-O-Rama asked his readers for their best post of 2007. It’s quite the great list. Did you know that CBS originally hated the Charlie Brown Christmas special? Those of you on the Comic of the Day List know I love F-Minu... More About: Roundup , Catch
NASA Probe Discovers God Is A Woman
2008-01-31 15:39:00 LAUREL, Maryland (WPBNews) — After a 3-and-a-half year mission to Mercury, NASA’s MESSENGER spacecraft has begun to beam back pictures of the mysterious planet. Once thought to be like our own Moon, MESSENGER is changing scientists perceptions of not only the planet, but of the universe and creation itself. Those who have studied Mercury never expected there to be cliffs running across the planet for hundreds of miles nor did they expect the planet’s magnetic-field to be so rich in sodium. Of the 1,200 photos MESSENGER sent back, none were more shocking than the one that at first appeared to be oddly-shaped crater. On closer inspection; however, the crater turned into a photo that has completely changed the views of scientist across the world. “At first, I thought it was some error in transmission,” says David Chapman, co-investigator of MESSENGER’s Science Team, “then I realized I had it upside down. I shouted, ‘Holy mutha-f*ckin̵... More About: Woman , Nasa , Probe , A Woman
Welcome To Your First Day Of Social Studies. Again.
2008-01-28 16:29:00 I need some clarity. As I get older, I realize that I have become more and more interested in our government. Unfortunately, I took Social Studies over 20 years ago, but back then we were taught that the people are supposedly in charge of the government. We send public servants to represent us in our government ergo (I love that word, don’t you?) we have a republic NOT a democracy which our current administration continues to preach as if we were beginning another Crusades — you know, those religious wars in the 11th, 12th and 13th Centuries? Oh, how history loves to get stuck in a irrationality loop. Sometimes, I wish we could just Ctrl-Alt-Delete the past few decades just to clear out the unnecessary cache. Ha! Cache! Get it? Since it seems that we are governed more by cash than by the citizenry? Nevermind. However, I would like to go on and on about the public servant part of that last paragraph. Whatever happened to that term? No one uses it anymore even though we ar... More About: Social Studies
Ironic Headline Of The Day
2008-01-24 22:10:00 Amy Winehouse going back to rehab Listening to: “Weather Systems” - Andrew Bird More About: Ironic , Headline
Video Store Dialogue
2008-01-24 19:54:00 We have several regulars at the video store — most of which I love bantering with. One of them comes in almost every Saturday morning to give me my weekend’s ration of shit. I have to set up the clip first. Chessman Park is the big ‘gay’ park of Denver. Every city seems to have one. Portland’s was Washington Park when I lived there. Chessman (pronounced CHEESE-men) is a huge loop where cars go round and round during the warmer months. People play volleyball, take their dogs, cruise, jog, walk, toss Frisbee, hook-up, etc. You know. It is also where a few male prostitutes hang out, so when Ralph came in last Saturday to do his weekly job of messing with me, I thought I’d start the exchange. ME: So, making any money in the park? RALPH: I will once the snow melts from around my bush. He definitely won that round. Listening to: “I Was Born Without You” - Tracy Bonham More About: Video , Store , Dialogue , Dial
Lazy Tuesday: Accident & Emergency
2008-01-22 17:51:00 Actually, it’s called “A&E”, but I didn’t want my US readers to think that Goldfrapp had recorded a song about the cable network. It’s the first single from their upcoming Seventh Tree and it’s wonderfully weird and strangely beautiful. For you Goldfrapp fans who are expecting another ‘boom-tss-boom-tss’ dance album, you may want to skip this one; however, you would be denying yourself a gorgeous, lush and successful attempt to grow musically. Of course, there will always be the remixes of the singles for those who only want the dance sound. I can neither confirm nor deny that I have heard Seventh Tree as I can neither confirm nor deny that it is just as good and may even be better than Supernature. You know something different is up if this is your love-it or hate-it album cover: Howard loves it. It makes him squeal. It’s so wonderfully 70’s in its look (plus I be lovin’ th’ pirate theme. Arrr.), but afte... More About: Accident , Tuesday , Emergency , Lazy
OSR: Cloverfield
2008-01-21 19:45:00 One Sentence Review: Cloverfield The only way to experience the horror of a giant monster attacking your city more realistically (yeah, I realize the irony) you would need to physically be where the monster is curving a swath of destruction. Listening to: “Sugar Magnolia” - The Grateful Dead
Monkey?s Uncle Music Mix 2008.1
2008-01-17 19:54:00 Every two months, the members of Monkey ’s Uncle put together a mix of music for ourselves and to play before the show starts. They always turn out extremely eclectic and fun. The first one of 2008 is no exception. There is it down there to listen to if you so choose — either on the blog or on Web Pen Blog Radio. In the meantime, we have a show this Monday at Jazz@Jack’s. Our special guest will be Jeff Chacon of Rodents Of Unusual Size. We even have an opening act: The Mathematically Challenged Quartet, which consists of Jeff and his good friend Floyd. They write some damn funny songs and will go on around 7:15. We then go on around 7:30 for some improvisational comedy goodness. Join us if you can, won’t you? Monkey’s Uncle Music Mix 2008.1 1:14:08 / 67.8MB [Please visit the post to listen to file] Listen to it on Web Pen Blog Radio. See the playlist here. Listening to: “Down To You” - Joni Mitchell More About: X 2008
Unfathomable Congitations
2008-01-16 18:39:00 Life is like a video game. There will always be an easy, medium, hard and expert level when dealing with everyday life. Unfortunately, there is no control to set everything to easy. Of course, there are no 1-Up mushrooms for an extra life either. Plus the princess is usually attracted to the bad guy and not the nice plumber risking his life to save her from a life of abuse. That begs the question is Princess Peach legitimately kidnapped or is she and Bowser pulling the goomba over Mario’s eyes? Press A, left, Z, right, right, B, up, up, Z to get to humor-blogs.com. Listening to: “Liverpool 8″ - Ringo Starr More About: Homa
Howard Updated His Blog And All I Got Was A Stupid Meme
2008-01-15 19:13:00 This one is fun though! Jami and SinisterDan discovered this. And now I get to copy and paste stuff without having to write much more which means I can do it in a hurry and get back to this darn job thing I have. First, the meme: You are in a band. Your band is about to release their first CD. Now, follow these directions to build it. Go to 1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Rand om The first article title on the page is the name of your band. 2. http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3 The tail (last three or four words) of the very last quote is the title of your album. 3. http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting /7days/ The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover. 4. Use the graphics program of your choice to put them together into your first CD. And here we go… 1. My band name is…. actually, I already have names for the band I want to be in. Either Lift To Shower or The Love Puddles. But I digress… My band name is: May 2006 In Oceani... More About: Meme , Blog , Stupid , Howard
Ironic Headline Of The Day
2008-01-10 21:29:00 Capitalism backfiring, Karma or just plain delicious irony? Phone companies cut FBI wiretaps due to unpaid bills …or as a co-worker just said, “God bless the bean counters.” Listening to: “Battle Scars” - The Chemical Brothers More About: Ironic , Headline
dun. Duh-DUH-dun. Duh-DUH. AH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!
2008-01-09 23:40:00 Big Daddy found a lost classic today and I have to share. They played this all the time at the Metro — the best gay video bar, like, ever. So many good times there dancing and pretending to swing across the dance floor on a vine whenever they played “Tarzan Boy” by Baltimora. *sigh* Enjoy the comedy: Listening to: “Birds Fly Backwards” - Ed Hardcourt
The Web Pen Gets A Meaty Award
2008-01-08 19:54:00 M’Lord Likely has bestowed upon me his greatest honor — The Golden Cock of Excellence. At first I had a problem receiving it, but with Lord Likely’s kind words and a great deal of fresh butter that his maid was churning, I opened up to accepting M’Lord’s largest reward. Lord Likely? Oh, he blogs from the past to tell his tales of daring-do. The tales are tall and are full of violence and sexuality. Oh, yes, they are funny as well. Give him a read. BLOG UPDATE: For the time being, updates will be sporadic. Work has become a crazed monster (in fact, this post was mostly written yesterday before all hell broke loose) and my housemate is having some of the downstairs area (where I live) redone. Hopefully, things will calm down quickly. Listening to: “Strict Machine” - Goldfrapp More About: Award
Part Of The Desktop Picture Set
2008-01-04 21:31:00 Check it. I got one of my pictures featured on MacDesktop s.com. It’s a picture I took on my first visit to D’Vine Winery when Cameron first started. (Find that post here.) It’s a picture of a couple of the carboys in the back of the shop. What’s a carboy? It is a glass or plastic vessel that is often used in fermenting beverages such as wine, mead, and beer. The original picture was very yellow and dark: so I lightened it up a bit and put a blue filter over it and thus it became: This morning I got an email saying it was one of today’s two featured desktop pictures. So cool! The owner of the website takes the pictures and resizes them to popular screen sizes for download. Go here and you can download the version that fits your screen and you, too, can have a copy of the only good picture I’ll ever take. And while you’re at it, have a great weekend, too! Listening to: “Polite Dance Song” - The Bird & The Bee More About: Picture , Part
I Think I?ve Finally Impressed My Gay
2008-01-03 21:02:00 Since the 2007 Top 20 albums is done, I now start looking forward to the new music of 2008. The eligibility for the “awards” is Dec 1, 2xxx - Nov 30, 2xxx, so anything released last month will be considered for the 2008 awards. I have purchased two albums so far. I don’t think I can get any gayer. The first one I bought was the new Rufus Wainwright gaily entitled: Rufus Does Judy At Carnegie Hall. No, it’s not a porn. It’s Rufus’ recreation of the infamous Judy Garland comeback concert. First impressions: Much more fun than I would have ever imagined and I know more of these songs that I (at times) want to admit. I know I should embrace, but Judy’s just never been my bag, baby — although the forced drug and alcohol abuse sounds appealing. Verdict: Rufus takes something gay and adds gay to the gayness and then sautes it in a light gay sauce and serves it with a decorative gay garnish — which, as you can imagine, is a lot of gay.... More About: Finally
Catch-up
2008-01-02 19:24:00 Hey there! How have you been? I’m fine. My week off from work turned into a week of doing nothing. Oh, I had all kinds of big plans: tweaking the look of the blog, installing another blog in place of The Media Magnet where all the entertainment reviews would go to free up this blog for more humor-based stuff, etc., but Apathy came to visit over the holidays and I did a bunch of relaxing instead. It started when I got home and had a nice Christmas card/CD from Scott & Buckaroo and one from Robert. Christmas was fun with Cameron and Clayton (plus Clayton’s mom and sister were there). Cameron got me this: (No, he only got me one. Sheesh!) …and my mom (because of a joke we had made to each other back in November) made me this: Yes, that’s the John Deere logo all over it. My mom made that with irony in every stitch. Now I get to pretend I’m all butch when I’m cuddly-wuddly in my fleecy-weecy blankey-blanket. Do you understand where I get my sense ... More About: Catch
Web Pen Blog 2007 Favorite Mix
2007-12-24 08:00:00 Here is my gift to you this holiday season: a mix of my favorite songs from my favorite albums from 2007 mixed with love and funny voices announcing the countdown. It is my sincere hope that everyone has a wonderful end of year no matter how you celebrate plus the most fruitful and joyous 2008. Happy Presents Days everyone! Web Pen Blog 2007 Favorite Mix 1:16:07 / 69.7MB [Please visit the post to listen to file] Listen to it on Web Pen Blog Radio. See the playlist here. Listening to: “Merry Christmas Darling” - Carpenters
Favorite Albums Of 2007: #02 & #01
2007-12-21 08:00:00 And here we are. Time to reveal the top of the top… 02. Of Montreal - Hissing Fauna, Are You The Destroyer? Here is Kevin Barnes’ glam rock album: so melodic, so fun, so over-the-top. Of Montreal has been making oddball pop music since 1997, but nothing as consistent as Hissing Fauna, which, by the way, wins for Best Album Title of the Year. Kicking off with “Suffer For Fashion”, you are immediately hit with lyrics that seem too smart for their own good. Barnes says this is a concept album, but does an incredible job of hiding the thread to follow. One thing that is quite obvious is that the character of the album has had his heart shattered. One listen to “She’s A Rejecter” confirms this: “There’s the girl that left me bitter/Want to pay some other girl to just walk right up to her and hit her”. Full of artistic and cerebral references, Hissing Fauna is both weird and wonderful. Favorite songs: “Suffer For Fashion... More About: Albums
Favorite Albums Of 2007: #4 & #3
2007-12-20 15:54:00 04. The Bird And The Bee - The Bird And The Bee Here is the first of two outstanding debuts this year. The Bird And The Bee are two “jazz nerds” who decided to make a pop album which turned out to be the best 60’s album of 2007 — with electronic flare, of course. You know you’ve hit about something fun when “Fucking Boyfriend” rockets to #1 on the dance charts. Someone noticed because The Bee (Greg Kurstin) co-wrote two songs for Kylie Minogue’s new album. Here though Greg works with the beautifully wispy and ethereal voice of Inara George whose instrument floats in and out of the recording like a beautiful tree nymph. The Bird And The Bee is simply the most lovely album this year. Favorite songs: “Again & Again”, “Fucking Boyfriend”, “La La La”, “I Hate Camera” “Polite Dance Song” (Here is a new song from the EP they just released. It is directed by Eric of Tim &... More About: Albums
Favorite Albums Of 2007: #6 & #5
2007-12-19 16:04:00 06. Apples In Stereo - New Magnetic Wonder When Elijah Wood decided to start his own record label, he signed as his first band his favorite. And so Apples in Stereo started a new chapter in their career. Steeped deeply in the 60’s for most of their albums (their name is from The Beatles’ record label), the band has kept their roots, but have grown into the 70’s when many odes to Electric Light Orchestra. Just like ELO’s Jeff Lynne, Robert Schneider can write the hell out of catchy song; however, he doesn’t have Lynne’s flare for the dramatic as a producer. No matter. New Magnetic Wonder is a collection filled with ditties that stay with you no matter what decade you’re currently existing in. Favorite songs: “Can You Feel It?”, “Energy”, “Play Tough”, “Radiation” “Can You Feel It?” 05. Suzanne Vega - Beauty & Crime This woman continually amazes me 21 years later. Beauty �... More About: Albums
Favorite Albums Of 2007: #8 & #7
2007-12-18 15:52:00 08. Lily Allen - Alright, Still In the battle of the British songstresses, I found Lily’s album the most enjoyable. Her ability to take a relationship or a situation and completely skewer it with some of the most hilariously bitter lyrics of the year makes Alright, Still the best choice among the anti-Valentine set. I enjoyed Amy Winehouse, but her problems are ones I can’t identify with. Having my heart broken and finally standing up for myself is something I can get behind. “Smile”, “Not Big”, and “Shame On You” are great dedications to the ones you hate. Lily Allen sees to the heart and rips it out to show you the pain as it bleeds on the ground, but in an entertaining way. Favorite songs: “LDN”, “Friday Night”, “Alfie” “LDN” 07. Jarvis Cocker - Jarvis Even though Jarvis proclaimed his band Pulp defunct, he continues to write some of the most profound music about the state of the w... More About: Albums
Monkey Holiday Music
2007-12-17 20:00:00 Tonight is Monkey ’s Uncle’s annual holiday gift show. All the money we make will be donated to the Colorado Coalition For The Homeless because we like to give more than just the funny. The show starts at 7:30 pm at Jazz@Jack’s in the Denver Pavilions — only $6! In the meantime, we updated our pre-show Holiday Mix which I finished last night. It has lots of little surprises mixed in with the music. You can see the track listing here. Please enjoy. Monkey’s Uncle 2007 Holiday Mix - 1:16:53 (70.3MB) [Please visit the post to listen to file] For a limited time you can download it or hear it on Web Pen Blog Radio. Listening to: “Amateur (Live)” - Aimee Mann More About: Music
Favorite Albums Of 2007: #10 & #9
2007-12-17 15:26:00 10. The White Stripes - Icky Thump Going for a harder-edge this time around, Icky Thump sounds like it could have been released in the 70’s on 8-track. The title track has the most intensity and most delicious guitar lick of anything I’ve heard this year. Yet with all this crunchy guitar, Jack and Meg haven’t forgotten rock’s roots and kept things very bluesy as well. In fact, two of the songs on the album have the word ‘blues’ in their title. They have also continued their genre-mixing and the track that stands out here is the Ennio Morricone-inspired remake, “Conquest” — so much so that you expect Clint Eastwood’s Blondie character to show up in the video. Favorite songs: “Icky Thump”, “Conquest”, “Little Cream Soda” “Icky Thump” 09. Imperial Teen - The Hair The TV The Baby & The Band When Imperial Teen released Seasick in 1996 to almost universal acclaim, you would... More About: Albums
Favorite Albums Of 2007: #12 & #11
2007-12-14 08:00:00 12. Siouxsie - Mantaray There were several new albums by the matriarchs of pop music including Deborah Harry and Annie Lennox, but none were more interesting than the first solo album by the Queen of Goth herself, Siouxsie Sioux. Mantaray follows in the pop vein of the last few Banshees album, but being solo allows her to experiment with different sounds. “Here Comes That Day” could have been a James Bond theme while “About To Happen” could have been a huge hit in the ’80’s. While her peers are disappearing into adult-fare, Siouxsie is still playing around and having a blast. Favorite songs: “Into A Swan”, “Here Comes That Day”, “Sea of Tranquility” “Into A Swan” 11. The Chemical Brothers - We Are The Night A return back to more basics for the boys, We Are The Night is a less heavy on guest stars and more focused on atmosphere much like their fourth album Come With Us. The tone is dark even with ... More About: Albums
Madonna Makes You A Winner
2007-12-13 22:50:00 Geeks Who Drink is a series of trivia contests set up over the Denver metro area and last night I finally got dragged out to one because one of the rounds was supposed to be about cartoons. So with knowledge of “Josie And The Pussycats” and “Snorks” on hand, I rode out with Matt2 of the Monkeys and his betrothed, Leslie. The cartoon round was to be disappointing as it was mostly about comic books; however, I did redeem myself in the “Sorry Ass Songs” round and the “What Color Was The State In The 2004 Election” round. In the state color round, I got all but Oregon right. Having lived there for several years, I was still under the impression that — like Colorado — it has a huge conservative population outside its metro area (Portland), so went with red for some reason. I did remember that New Mexico went red and Wisconsin went blue, so redeemed my Oregon mistake. The “Sorry” round was an audio clip one that requi... More About: Madonna , Winner
Favorite Albums Of 2007: #14 & #13
2007-12-13 08:00:00 14. Panda Bear - Person Pitch Here is the strangest album I’ve heard all year. Noah Lennox is the only member of the band and he uses samples, loops and plenty of reverb in this seven-track album which includes a couple of epic 12-minute tracks. The feel here is very 60’s — psychedelic and experimental but also subtle. The tracks creep up on you slowly after several listens and grab a hold on you. This is a collection of music that demands you grab a pair of headphones, get into a relaxed position and just travel. In other words, this is definitely for the adventurous. Favorite songs: “Bros”, “Good Girl / Carrots” “Bros” 13. Tracey Thorn - Out Of The Woods Patience is the key word here. Give it time and the rewards of Tracey’s second solo album (her first was way back in 1982) come through in spades. She keeps the electronics that Everything But The Girl dabbled in going strong, but her natural warmth radiates through e... More About: Albums
Favorite Albums Of 2007: #16 & #15
2007-12-12 08:00:00 16. Mandy Moore - Wild Hope Guilty Pleasure Of The Year. Being tired of your pop princess persona can be so tiring that you drop two labels just to make an album you want. That’s what Mandy has done here. Recruiting some very talented songwriters including Michelle Branch, Lori McKenna and the band that was #1 on this list last year — The Weepies, the album is an attempt to garner a more serious sound than Mandy has ever tried. While not completely escaping her pop past, Wild Hope does find Mandy sounding more confident and more honestly emotionally especially on “Looking Forward”. Favorite songs: “Slummin’ In Paradise”, “Looking Forward” “Extraordinary” 15. LCD Soundsystem - Sound Of Silver James Murphy does more than just make music to shake yo’ rump to. He creates dance music that makes you think because — at heart — he is a punk much like The Sex Pistols. When he screams, “I know you wo... More About: Albums
Favorite Albums Of 2007: #18 & #17
2007-12-11 08:00:00 18. Junior Senior - Hey Hey My My Yo Yo You can’t can’t get much much better than this fun fun album this year - in North America anyway. Their follow-up to their 2003 “D-D-Don’t Stop The Beat” was released in Japan and Europe back in 2005 and finally our shores back in August. It was worth the wait. Feeling down? Put on “Itch You Can’t Skratch” or the incredible “Can I Get Get Get” and you’ll be up and dancing in no time. I would recommend getting the deluxe edition which includes an EP with some great gems like “I Can’t Rap, I Can’t Sing But I Would Do Anything…” Favorite songs: “Can I Get Get Get”, “Take My Time” “Can I Get Get Get” (This one is especially fun as it’s compiled from videos fans sent in) “Take My Time” 16. Mika - Life In Cartoon Motion Yes, I’ve complained that he borrows too heavily from Scissor Sisters ... More About: Albums
OSR: The Golden Compass
2007-12-10 20:00:00 One Sentence Review: The Golden Compass So rushed that I can imagine people who haven’t read the book watching the plot points blur by like a NASCAR race. Listening to: “Little Bombs” - Aimee Mann More About: Golden Compass
Favorite Albums Of 2007: #20 & #19
More articles from this author:2007-12-10 08:00:00 Welcome to the Annual Web Pen Album Awards! It is time once again when my list of favorite albums of the year takes over the blog. The list is filled with some usual suspects, some new artists and an album or two that may make you question my musical credentials. For the next two weeks, I’ll be counting down my favorites two-a-day. Let’s begin, shall we? 20. The Eagles - Long Road Out Of Eden It’s been 28 years since their last studio album, The Long Run, but according to this album it’s still 1979 — which suits The Eagles’ music just fine. Full of the country rock they helped pioneer in the 70’s, the lyrics are not those of meeting woman randomly on the roads traveled in a pick-up truck. The band is 28 years older so the songs also include some politically-charged songs like “Frail Grasp On The Big Picture” where Henley utters some slams against many American beliefs and slams those Christians living hypocritical lives, “W... More About: Albums , Favorite 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 |
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