The Best Bit of the Internet

RSS Feed Homepage

Articles: 1, 2

Popmash: Mr. Benn-y Hill
2007-05-01 12:46:00
Watch this, laugh, repeat:Enjoy more Popmashing over at the all-new, all-singing, all-dancing, all-mashing Popmash site!Go there, NOW!
More About: Hill , Mash

The Awardies - Get Nominated!
2007-04-25 15:49:00
Hello and welcome to The Awardies! I'm your host, Trip Tingleton!What are The Awardies, you say?Weeeell, let me explain.The Awardies are an all-new award handed out to anyone, for anything...at all!That's right! YOU could be an Awardie award winner for doing...whatever! You don't have to be the world's greatest actor, or the world's fastest runner...you win by just being you!Isn't that FABULOUS?To enter The Awardies, all you have to do is leave a comment on this post (you do not have to be a Blogger member), stating who you are, a link to your website or blog and then we'll take a look and decide what you should get an award for, unless you have your own suggestion. And that's it!All our winners win a BEAUTIFUL picture of an Awardie, with their name and award-winning talent (or lack thereof) written proudly upon it, to place on your very own blog, or MySpace, or Facebook, or website. Or you could even print it out and super-glue it to your face. Here's an example below:BEAU...
More About: Nate , Dies , Mina , Nominated

Jet Pets: Red Alert
2007-04-18 17:29:00
From the makers of The Carrotty Kid comes an all-new, out-of-this-world comic strip...Jet Pets , in their dazzling debut adventure, Red Alert .To see the full-size strip, just click on the condensed version above. For more information about the Jet Pets, click HERE.And remember, in space, no-one can hear you BARK.
More About: Red Alert

Anthology of Awful: The Cookie Crumbles
2007-04-12 15:59:00
Cookies. We all love cookies, don't we? Yummy cookies. Yum yum yum yum. Yummy yummy cookies! Or do we? For Jonathan Petridish, the humble cookie was far from being a satisfying snack, instead leaving him traumatised for the rest of his life. Jonathan Petridish worked full-time as a human resources manager at a large insurance firm. It was a job he didn't particularly enjoy, except for the half hour break he got mid-morning which he looked forward to with fevered excitement. On one such break, Jonathan Petridish decided to enjoy a cup of tea and a couple of cookies, while he took some time out to fill in a crossword puzzle in the newspaper. Nothing wrong with that, was there? So you would think. But the tea plus cookie plus crossword equation was to prove to be Jonathan's undoing. While puzzling over the clue for twelve across in his crossword, Jonathan Petridish decided to dunk his cookie in his tea. Cookies are normally quite resilient to dunking, and hold their form far bet...
More About: Ology , Anthology , Holo , Awful , Cookie

The Carrotty Kid: The Pilot Episode
2007-04-11 16:55:00
Full-time followers of our web-based wonders will already be familiar with The Car rotty Kid, our semi-regular webcomic about a kung-fu fighting carrot.For those of you new to all of this, go check it out, and we'll wait here for you.Done? Good. Now, behold the awesome animated adventure starring the carrotty one, as developed by us and Cosgrove Hall Films, and animated by the ever wonderful Michael Whaite.LOOK AT IT NOW:We hope you think it is the BEST thing you have ever seen. Now tell your friends. And your enemies, because then they'll become your friends too as it's so wonderous.Will this herald a regular series starring CK, on your telly screens? Who knows. But it's still ace.
More About: Episode , Pilot

Matt For It: Jesus Christ, It's Jesus Christ!
2007-04-09 17:11:00
TELEVISION bosses have unveiled plans for a brand-new reality TV show, where a panel of judges will scour the country to find the next Jesus Christ .Search For A Saviour will begin airing this summer on ITV1, and has the hopes of the network riding upon it."The recent glut of reality shows searching for new leads in West End musicals, such as How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria, Grease Is The Word and Any Dream Will Do have proven to be ratings winners. By delivering the ultimate reality show, wherein we try to find the next Jesus Christ , we are confident we will finally win the Saturday night ratings war," an ITV spokeswoman told Matt For It.Jesus...ChristSearch For A Savior will feature thousands of hopeful, would-be Messiahs auditioning in front of a tough panel, where they must demonstrate their proficiency in parable telling, performing miracles and being holy. The lucky few who get past the initial stage will then proceed to a Christ Boot Camp, where they will hone their ski...

Popmash Presents: Stayin' Alive
2007-04-03 05:13:00
It's Easter soon, so what better way to celebrate than by watching a lovely, Easter-themed cartoon?Like this one:Made by Mike Whaite, he who made all the pretty pictures move in our very own Carrotty Kid pilot episode. He be a ruddy genius, I tell you.More Popmash fun: HERE.
More About: Presents , Alive , Resent , Mash

Stand Up And Be Standing, with Dan Bobbins.
2007-03-31 17:07:00
So, you've woken up to life, at last?Well done!Now you're ready to move on to step two of my program - Stand Up And Be Standing !It's all very well being awake, but being awake and horizontal will do you no favours at ALL. No-one got anywhere being awake and horizontal, apart from my third wife Maria and prostitutes.You're not a prostitute, are you?Of course not.So, it's time you took a stand, and said, "I'm not going to stand for all this not-standing any more! I'm going to make a stand, and stand up for what I believe in, which is standing up!"Now, grab life by the shoulders, and haul yourself up out of the bed, until you are completely vertical. Not half-vertical, or leaning at an angle of 35 degrees. No: you've gotta be 100%, completely and utterly standing up vertically.For more help with standing up, phone my hot-line now to order my book and DVD, 'Making a Stand And Taking A Chance'. Just dial 0800 BOBBINS HELPLINE - RIGHT AWAY!Okay, see you next time for the next st...
More About: Stand-Up

Anthology of Awful: Restroom In Peace, Jeremy
2007-03-30 04:47:00
Toilets.We all like to use them, to dispose of our effluence that would otherwise mount up around our ears, don't we?Or do we?For Jeremy Pinecone, one simple trip to the lavatory almost wound up being a trip...to HELL.Jeremy Pinecone (age 23, but that is of little to no relevance to the following tale) had been enjoying a nice night out with friends. They had drank beers together, watched a stripper, punched out a couple of headlights and gone for a curry at their local French-Indian restaurant, The Taj Mange-All.Ravished after a hard night's leering and shouting, the friends ordered a plentiful spread of food, and gorged upon it hungrily.For Jeremy Pinecone, the twelfth plate of Korma du Poulet was to prove too much for his digestive system to handle, and so he left the table and headed to the restaurant's toilets.The toilet was located at the back of the establishment, down a rather dark and dismal corridor that bore none of the tasteful decor of the restaurant itself. Neverthe...
More About: Peace , Ology , Anthology , Holo

i done a comic: Ray The Otter
2007-03-29 04:28:00
More 'i done a comic'...
More About: Comic , Otter , The O , Done

Take Life From Behind with Dan Bobbins
2007-03-29 04:26:00
WAKE UP TO LIFE!Hey!Have you ever woken up one morning, and felt nothing but dread about the day ahead?Well, I'm here to give you another wake-up call and to tell you to wake up. Wake up...to LIFE!Yeah, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking "Gee, Dan, that's a lot of waking up to do!" You bet your waking ass it is!I'm gonna wake each and every one of you up. All the way up, no compromises. I'll not stop until you're all fully awake, and as far away from asleep as you can be.Only when you're fully awake can YOU start to affect the BIG changes in YOUR life. No-one ever made any big changes by being asleep.Do you think Thomas Edison invented the light-bulb while asleep?Of course not. He was 100%, totally and completely AWAKE.So, join me in my revolutionary new program, 'Wake Up To Life , Go To Sleep A Winner!', and I'll spend every waking moment waking you up.WAKE UP!Goodnight! - Dan Bobbins.Dan Bobbins is one of America's top motivational speakers and self-help gurus...

The Carrotty Kid in 'New Point of View'
2007-03-29 04:20:00
More Carrotty Kid...
More About: View , Point , The Car

Anthology of Awful: The Haunting of Linda Thimbles
2007-03-29 04:15:00
Ghosts.The spirits of the departed, returned from the grave to haunt the living?Maybe.Or maybe...something more...sinister?For 29 year-old accounting assistant Linda Thimbles, it was to be the latter.One night, Linda Thimbles was preparing for bed, having had an exhausting day assisting accountants with their accounting duties.She fell gratefully into her bed, turned off her bedside lamp, and drifted into a much-needed sleep.Hours later, Linda Thimbles snapped awake, and immediately sensed something was deeply wrong. Her room was freezing cold, and she felt she was being watched by eyes that were not of this world.She glanced up at her alarm clock, and noticed it was 3:30am. She sighed, remembering that in less than three hours, she would have to get up again, for another day of assisting accountants.Linda Thimbles groaned, and decided to put aside her apprehensions, and go back to sleep. However, as she turned over in her bed, something caught her eye.Something that made her quite ...
More About: Ology , Anthology , Holo , Awful

Matt For It: Elton's Birthday Bash 'Gayest Ever'
2007-03-29 04:14:00
Elton John's 60th birthday bash, which takes place on March 25th in New York, will be the "gayest ever", according to Elton himself."I've had some very gay birthday parties in the past," Elton told Matt For It, "but they will all look positively straight when compared to this year's party. It will be unbelievably gay."GAY SAUSAGEEverything, from the guest-list to the food, will be "totally gay", said Elton. A team of top chefs have been flown in specially to prepare a suitably gay menu, including: gay ice cream, gay sausages, gay jelly and the gayest birthday cake in the world, shaped like a gay cock.Elton John...gay.GAY STUDIESWhile the gay community prepares itself for the gayest day in it's gay social calender, some are less than gay (in the happy sense, not the gay sense) about the planned gay party."Elton John is being reckless and extremely selfish with this party," says Dr. Martin Gaybones, Doctor of Gay Studies at the University of Gaysville. "Gay is not an infinite reso...
More About: Birthday , Bash

Anthology of Awful: TERROR Dog
2007-03-29 04:12:00
Little dogs.We love them, don't we? With their little fuzzy faces, their small black noses and tiny paws.Or do we?Maybe not, after you hear about the horror that befell one Martin Windpipe...Martin Windpipe was a lonely man, who lived alone in a small, one-bedroom flat in London. He wanted some company, and so decided to get himself a dog.He scoured the local pet shops, looking for the perfect canine companion. But he just couldn't seem to find a dog he liked. That is until, quite by accident, Martin Windpipe stumbled across a small shop tucked away in the back streets. He had never seen this particular store before, so decided to give it a shot.Inside, he found a small, wizened, Chinese man. The Chinese man seemed affable and friendly enough, and set about helping Martin Windpipe find the dog of his dreams. After a short time spent browsing, Martin Windpipe clapped eyes upon the adorable figure of a small hound in a cage. The dog leapt up at the bars, and wagged it's little tail...
More About: Terror , Ology , Anthology , Holo , Awful

Lord Likely: 'Things I Have Stabbed, Part Two'
2007-03-29 04:10:00
22nd March 1856More things I have stabbed with my trusty fencing sword, over the years...A Grizzly Bear: When a Chinese Circus (bearing the slogan 'Where Animals Are Beaten For Your Pleasure!') came to town, I was reluctantly dragged along to witness the awful spectacle by a friend of mine, Lord John Ratzenberger, who loved circuses a bit too much, as far as I was concerned.So we adjourned to the circus, and readied ourselves for an evening of so-called entertainment.The event passed predictably enough, with a procession of gaudily-dressed, smug wankers carrying out tedious feats of 'danger', until one particular act began, involving a grizzly bear juggling. The bear was clearly as interested in performing as I was in watching, which is to say not very interested at all. His trainer persisted, throwing juggling balls at the poor creature until it finally snapped, and lunged at the man, and bit his hand clean off.From there, pandemonium ensued, as the bear turned his attention to...
More About: Part , Things

Lord Likely: 'Things I Have Stabbed, Part One'
2007-03-29 04:08:00
March 21st, 1856As an aristocrat, with money and time in plentiful supply, I like to indulge in various hobbies and entertainments.One of my favourite past-times is fencing, and many an afternoon I can be found, waving my weapon in another man's face.I own my very own fencing sword, the use of which is not restricted to sport, I must confess.Indeed, I like to keep my sword on me at all times, to fend off foes I encounter on my astonishing adventures, or simply to stab things for my own amusement. Here now follows a list of just some of the things that have felt the end of my weapon, and why:A Wretched Mugger: On the way home from the theatre one evening, I was accosted by an unpleasant chap who wished to relieve me of my valuables. Feeling strongly that this loathsome creature had not done anything worthy to be in possession of such riches as mine, I refused. This angered the yob, who then came at me with a knife. I whipped out my sword, and stabbed him in the leg. He staggered off...
More About: Lord , Part , Things