HusbandsHusbandsMarriage humor. A wife describes funny, annoying habits of her husband in the Hollywood movie industry. Articles
Wouldn?t You Be Proud of This Shelf?
2008-03-25 09:29:00 Sunday we invited my husband’s friends over–two couples. Both, like us, somewhat new to the Los Angeles area. I fixed a HUGE spread. No joke–8 dishes. Intricate foods. And it was all good. Even King Picky Himself (my husband) complimented the food 3 times. I couldn’t believe it. So–you see all the work I put ... More About: Proud , Shelf
Wouldn?t You Be Proud of This Shelf?
2008-03-25 09:29:00 Sunday we invited my husband’s friends over–two couples. Both, like us, somewhat new to the Los Angeles area. I fixed a HUGE spread. No joke–8 dishes. Intricate foods. And it was all good. Even King Picky Himself (my husband) complimented the food 3 times. I couldn’t believe it. So–you see all the work I put ... More About: Proud , Shelf
No Gift Is Good Enough
2008-03-23 18:40:00 Happy Easter, everyone! I’m thinking a lot about how lucky I am today–the blessings and gifts I have. Let me warn you though, when I post about the topics of my husband + gifts, it’s going to get a little annoying. Before I tell my annoying (ok, infuriating) story, let me mention that if you need ... More About: Gift , Good
No Gift Is Good Enough
2008-03-23 18:40:00 Happy Easter, everyone! I’m thinking a lot about how lucky I am today–the blessings and gifts I have. Let me warn you though, when I post about the topics of my husband + gifts, it’s going to get a little annoying. Before I tell my annoying (ok, infuriating) story, let me mention that if you need ... More About: Gift , Good
Critical Updates: Beard, Tooth, Fun
2008-03-23 02:42:00 Hi. Being that it’s Easter Weekend, my husband is spending many hours at home. This means, I can’t post as freely as I usually can. Darn it. And it also means that topics to write and complain about are piling up (though I will not be able to vent about them until Monday…) SO quickly, ... More About: Updates , Beard , Critical
Critical Updates: Beard, Tooth, Fun
2008-03-23 02:42:00 Hi. Being that it’s Easter Weekend, my husband is spending many hours at home. This means, I can’t post as freely as I usually can. Darn it. And it also means that topics to write and complain about are piling up (though I will not be able to vent about them until Monday…) SO quickly, ... More About: Updates , Beard , Critical
Husband Overslept?My Fault, Of Course
2008-03-21 19:46:00 Okay. So, I have no idea what time he got home from work last night. (But, per the post below, that’s fine.) SO, this morning, the alarm clock goes off at 7:40am. I said, “Honey, the clock went off.” No response. “Honey, the alarm went off. When are you getting up?” He said, “Sometime after 8:00am.” Okay, my ... More About: Fault , Husband
Husband Working Later Than Ever!
2008-03-21 09:38:00 Wow, it’s 1:30am, and my poor husband is still at work. I am so glad I already posted the mean post about how he wasted a lot of money, because I would feel kind of bad about posting it now…Well, not that bad I suppose. Who am I kidding? I love mean posts about guys, ... More About: Working , Husband
Husband Has Wasted Much Money
2008-03-21 08:50:00 Hi, I was just reminiscing about all this money that my husband has wasted over the years. I think I need to start a new blog called Pushover Wife. Oh, the stories about wasted money…and of course, they all occurred when we were DIRT freaking poor. Here are two that come to mind: 1. Wasted Money ... More About: Husband , U-Haul
Is Your Guy Jobless? Point Him Right Here.
2008-03-20 19:43:00 Oh my gosh. I just saw through the news that 22,000 more people are jobless. It’s so hard when the husband/live-in beau has no job. (But fun when I don’t have one…sorry if that sounds catty, but I have earned the right to say it. Also, I currently do have a job, actually 3 of ... More About: Point
Favorites
2008-03-19 21:10:00 Hi, if you like my blog, please consider voting for me by clicking: the blue box on the right column that says “Vote for Me” and the green Technorati favorites button on the bottom of the right column. Don’t worry–I don’t take favorite votes lightly. I will work extra hard to show you some REALLY ... More About: Favorites
Attention Men: Groomed=Hot, Ungroomed=Not Hot
2008-03-19 20:11:00 I have mentioned in previous posts, my husband is naturally handsome. It’s one of the main reasons I wanted to date him. Also, he knows 3 languages and he’s really, really kind. The problem is that he often sabotages his his good looks. Let’s look at an example. Does your guy ever do this? I ... More About: Attention
Guest Photo: Boyfriend Takes Charge of the Garbage
2008-03-19 00:18:00 Hi, I love this photo. It makes me feel better about my life. Sent from a nice girl in Washington, DC. Her boyfriend is “taking charge” of emptying the trash, and this photo proves it. Does this photo make me feel good because my husband is good about emptying the garbage? Oh please. No. This photo ... More About: Photo , Boyfriend , Charge , Garbage , Guest
Guest Photo: Husband Dress Shoes Unacceptable
2008-03-18 09:31:00 Finally, a photo of some very questionable, borderline frightening, work attire that does not belong to MY husband. These shoes belong to the husband of one of my very good friends. Take a look at these little treasures: Come on now. Are you sure these things are shoes? Where could this guy have possibly purchased these? ... More About: Photo , Shoes , Dress , Guest , Husband
Wrinkled Brown Pants Update (Husband Spy?)
2008-03-18 09:12:00 I think my husband might be spying on me! The day after I posted the photo of his brown wrinkled pants (below), he put them in the laundry basket. Now, perhaps that doesn’t seem like a huge coincidence right off the bat. But he has outright refused to let me (yes, as in ALLOW ME) to ... More About: Pants , Brown , Update , Husband
Pants Need Urgent Attention
2008-03-16 21:38:00 Alright, this one’s a doozy. These are my husband’s favorite pants. Can you tell? They are (as in WERE) good, quality pants–Levi’s, you know, not the type you’d expect to wrinkle like aluminum foil. But the problem doesn’t lie in the fabric. No, the problem is my husband’s firm belief that pants can be worn 20 ... More About: Pants , Urgent , Attention
Shirt Trick?Urgently Needs Modification
2008-03-16 21:25:00 Okay, it’s time to show you some new trends that my husband has come up with. This little “shirt trick,” if you will, is classified as UNM (Urgently Needs Modification ). But I have been trying to change this new habit, and nothing is working. My husband thinks it’s a work of genius, and he’s not ... More About: Trick , Shirt
New Address
2008-03-10 23:27:00 Hi,Thanks for visiting!I am posting new blog entries at this domain: http://www.husbandclothes.comSee you there with lots of annoying photos and stories! More About: Address
Stupid, Impolite Idiot Husband
2008-03-02 04:26:00 [I AM SO MAD. THERE ARE MANY EXPLETIVES HERE. I TRY NOT TO USE THEM NORMALLY, BUT IT IS SIMPLY BEYOND MY CONTROL RIGHT NOW. I DO NEVERTHELESS APOLOGIZE.]So my jerk husband, who is working until 11pm every night now by the way, wants to take a class on Saturday. From morning till 2pm. Well, I'm wimp pushover dumbass so I say okay. He takes his damn class. I'm with the boys as always, all morning long. They need one thing after another. All I want is for them to be quiet.Then my husband gets home and takes them out for icecream. That lasted for one hour. As soon as he got home, he had to go to the store. This lasted for 2 hours. By the time he got back, it's 7pm.This means AGAIN, as EVERY FUCKING DAY, I am watching the kids all by myself ALL DAY LONG. We're not talking normal weekday hours. We're talking till late evening. What did I ask? If we could sit together at the table and have a snack. We're all 4 sitting there. I'm talking to the boys. MY IDIOT HUSBAND IS CHECKING HIS ... More About: Stupid , Idiot , Husband
Husband Loses Weight, Looks Incredibly Hot
2008-02-28 19:35:00 Have I ever mentioned how hot my husband is, no matter how much weight he gains or loses? He kind of looks like Andrei Agassi (but in my opinion much hotter). When both of the boys were little, they would see TV where Agassi was playing tennis and would point at him and cry "Daddy come home!" Well, anyway, but he has this really odd thing. He really couldn't care less about looks, weight, any of that. That includes for me--which is nice, but I try to look nice regardless (maybe that's why he doesn't care??) Once I asked him why he fell in love with me. His resonse was very typical--furrowed eyebrows and confused look on his face followed by a vague "mmmm, I don't know." And I asked, "Did you think I was pretty?" And he said, "Uh. How could you say that?" Some wives would say that's horrible. I think it's pretty deep...but weird of course.So, he gains and loses about 15 pounds each year depending on his work cycle. When there's a lot of work, he loses. When work is slow he gai... More About: Weight , Husband
My Husband's Tooth is Ruining My Life
2008-02-26 19:06:00 Now, if you saw my husband, you'd think "normal guy, normal teeth" (or if you're me, "hot guy, normal teeth.") However, his teeth problems and hesitance to visit dentists have nearly lead us to divorce and devastated me emotionally time after time. BUT fortunately for me, after 9 years of marriage, we've come a long way in the world of teeth. The difference perhaps between my husband and yours is that when my husband breaks or LOSES a FRONT TOOTH, he refuses to get it fixed/replaced for about a year. Why? Because you dummy, the dentist will mess it up and make it worse. (How you can make a hole where your front tooth should be WORSE? I am not sure--you'll have to ask my husband.)So now he has a chipped tooth, one of the two front teeth (the 3rd damn problem with a front freaking tooth). For two months, he refused to go to the dentist. Finally, I threatened to do mean things to him, and I scheduled a dentist appointment for him, and he promised to go. He showed up 15 minutes late... More About: Life , My Life
Nose Picking Husband, Anyone?
2008-02-24 19:28:00 Hi, two questions for you:1. Does your husband or boyfriend pick his nose? Please someone just tell me that this is normal. 2. Does your husband or boyfriend pick his nose and try to pretend he ISN'T doing it even when he obviously is? Mine does, and for nine years of marriage, I have begged, yelled, cursed, and screamed--NOT so he will STOP picking his nose (obviously, as this is a high-priority activity for him). Just so he might pick his damn nose somewhere in private.But no. No, it must be in front of me and the boys, who are also now becoming avid nose pickers. I'm serious, I'm going to have to see a counselor about this. It's affecting our sex life. As in, I don't want that nose-picking nasty thing anywhere near me right now. More About: Nose , Husband , Picking
Niko Discusses Marriage
2008-01-11 20:25:00 Niko has begun discussing girlfriends and marriage. He has three girlfriends at pre-school, though only one of them actually plays with or talks to Niko. (And he says that one of them is "pretty" and two of them are "ugly." So, I am happy that at least he looks on the inside, not only the outside.) Last night he tried to take off my wedding ring, and I said, "No, let's leave that on." A little question and answer session ensued, Niko asking why questions, and me answering:Why? Because Daddy gave it to me when we got married.Why did you get married with Daddy? Because we love each other.Why did Daddy get married with you? Because Daddy loves me.Then Niko says "I don't like married." And I asked, "You mean you don't like Mommy and Daddy being married?" His response: "No! I like Mommy and Daddy to be married. But I don't like Niko to be married."I'll check into this further and let you know what I learn. More About: Marriage , Niko
Go with the Flow
2008-01-11 20:20:00 It's so funny how all of my advice to Eric comes right back at me, and just at the right moments!I was sick this week, just not really up to par with cooking and stuff, tired, somewhat irritable. So, I was telling Eric on the way to school that I wanted to make sure he understood it's because I'm sick, not anything he did wrong.And he said, "I know one good thing about being sick...It'll help you learn to GO with the FLOW. It's better to GO with the FLOW than feel stressed OUT." More About: Flow
Financial Wizard
2007-11-16 20:31:00 I have a good story that really illustrates my husband's understanding of budgets, finances, and the like. (I should add beforehand that he is very good at saving money. He is not a "big spender" like husbands of some of my friends. So, those are the good points. Now to the others.)My husband's mother has this ongoing battle over property that belonged to her ancestors (and hence, the ancestors of my children). Now, remember, she is from a different country, and I very much like her being in that country, as it is many thousands of miles away from ME. But anyway...She wants her grandsons to have this property. We want to help her get it. But I'm afraid it will tie up our credit for when we are ready to get a house here in the US...So, we were going over the finances last night. We're lucky. We have very little debt. A little credit card debt, plus my husband's student loan of about $30,000 which we took out two years ago.I was saying, "Well, I think we'll be okay. We only have... More About: Financial , Wizard
I HATE Sod
2007-06-20 19:12:00 So, it's time to fix this hellhole of a back "yard" out there. I told my husband that I'm doing this Saturday. I asked only that he clear his schedule so he can drive the sod to our house. He complains, of course. "Let's do it next week. Let's do it tomorrow." But I was ready for his tricks, and the answer was NO. We're doing it Saturday. (Or I guess I should say I'M doing it Saturday.) May I add that he had LOTS of freaking annoying advice about how to plant grass. The guy never even had a yard, never touched or saw a grass seed, is NOT going to help me lay sod, and I keep asking myself why he thinks he's an expert. It's annoying the crap out of me, but whatever. I just totally ignore everything he says on the topic but do manage to avoid saying mean things.So, Friday I spend literally 6 hours shoveling dirt as hard as concrete to soften it up. To Husband's credit, he was at work. I knew he would not be able to help me at that time. That's why I chose that time. Saturday... More About: Hate
Husband Theory: Moving Furniture
2007-05-05 06:41:00 Okay, you are really not going to believe this. I probably shouldn't post it, because now you will be like "Oh, all this time, I thought he was just strange. I see, he actually has problems that probably need attention. Like from a psychiatrist." And I think it may be time to take that step and get him checked out.So, I was trying to figure out how to arrange each room. Where to put the couch, TV, our bed, dressers, etc.So, I show him a plan of our room, and I say, "How do you like it?" He says not good, then shows me a way of arranging it that was dumb and would basically leave us no room to walk between the bed and our other furniture. I'm used to this type of thing, so I just ignored it and said "sure" and thought "thank goodness he's far too lazy to help tell the movers where things go, he'll be gone that day."So, I just don't respond, but then I ask another question, "But where will we put the boxes with our bedroom stuff to unpack? I don't know if they'll fit, except fo... More About: Furniture , Moving , Theory , Husband , Ving
A Little Surprise (that devastated me)
2007-05-05 06:12:00 Sorry for the profanity. After all of my husband's little tricks while we moved, I can barely utter two words without cursing. So, we are so exited that our new apartment has a yard! By "yard," I mean big area full of hard dirt and ugly weeds and poorly cemented, crooked bricks. Yes, it is pathetic and does reflect how lowly we truly are, but we are super excited!!!! I thought we were excited for the same reasons. I'm totally counting the minutes until I can plant grass with my 5 year old son. In school he learned about seeds, and it's ALL he talks about. "Mom, let's plant apple seeds." And "Mom, let's plant these orange seeds. Mom, let's buy an avacado and plant the biggest seed in the world." So, every day for a week, I kept talking about how I couldn't wait to plant grass. One evening, Husband calls and says, "You are going to be so happy." I was so excited--what? Why am I going to be happy? Please TELL ME!!!"People, he bought a huge freaking roll of ASTRO TURF (fake carpe... More About: State , Little , That , Rise , Stat
Best Husband in the World
2007-04-25 02:34:00 I have the best husband in the world. I take back all of the times I have been annoyed with him. He's the hottest, nicest man in the world. I am so lucky.Today, there was a fiasco he handled like a real man. I am not sure I've mentioned how even tempered, iron-willed, and steady he is. He's truly a rock. He can handle anything. Nothing makes him nervous. Nothing scares him. Well, some things do, but no one can tell. So, he had to take off work to get our cable hooked up. I was communicating with the cable company while he waited for them for two hours. There are no chairs in our new place to sit on. There is nothing to do. Nothing. Not a computer, not a TV, barely any food in the refrigerator. Plus, he's had to take a lot of time off to get stuff done for moving recently, so I was all nervous that he was going to get in trouble.I called the cable company to see what was up. It took them a third hour to confirm they wouldn't be able to make it today. Unbelievable. I felt so bad.... More About: World , Best , The World , Husband
How Husband Defiled Our Living Room
More articles from this author:2007-04-22 23:24:00 I'm just reminiscing about ways Husband ruined our old place and really hoping he doesn't do the same things in the new one. Look at these pretty little photos I took around the holidays last year. Isn't our living room nice and cosy? Isn't it? Look at my shelf. Isn't it cute? Not the cleanest shelf in the world, but it will do. Well, not anymore. Here is how Husband ruined the entire living room in two foul swoops:#1: Ill-placed Speakers Come on. Who the hell would think to put a speaker up high, by a curtain, smack in the center of a living room wall? Who? Yes, MY Husband. He wanted surround sound for our TV. Well, he sure as hell got it.#2: Lap Top SecuritySee these metal things Husband drilled into our living room shelf. SEE EM?! Know what they are? They are things he was supposed to use to put up our curtain rod. (Could this be why our curtain rods look wierd???) Now, the real question: Guess why he drilled them to the shelf. Ready? TO KEEP THE LAPTOP IN PLACE when the kid... More About: Living , Living Room , Room , Ving 1, 2, 3 |
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