Zoe's DadZoe's DadBe careful what you wish for....reflections, musings and a cry for help from a stay at home father of 5. Humorous anectdates of a dad taken hostage by his children. Articles
Warming Cockles
2011-09-20 01:38:00 100 years and counting. The Humphrey RadiantFire is still taking the chill out. (Quite frankly, though, it’s too fucking early to be turning on the heat. I’m only 19 days into the winter beard!!) share. peace.
We win or lose…
2011-09-19 03:34:00 35 – 6 A painful fruition of timeless yearning and it hurts no matter what positive spin you try to place on it. I was damn proud of them all none the less! share. peace.
Never Trust a Cheshire Cat
2011-09-18 02:51:00 Aw…that’s sweet….. Not so fast, I say. Just seconds prior to snapping this shot I had to stop them from literally attempting to shove each other off of the enormous rock on which they are perched. share. peace. More About: Trust
Mmmm… that sounds good. I’ll have that.
2011-09-16 15:50:00 What’s the soup de jour? It’s the soup of the day. share. peace. More About: Sounds , Good
Hanging Out
2011-09-15 21:58:00 I’m told they’re not edible. The birds really seem to like em’. share. peace.
Appearances
2011-09-14 19:18:00 I’m reasonably certain that the story behind why this bike ended up where it did is not nearly as interesting as how I imagined it. But isn’t that always the case? share. peace. More About: Appearances
Messing with Young Minds
2011-09-07 18:33:00 (An excerpt from a conversation with the kids on the way to school not long ago.) Why is that truck always there? It’s been there for years, guys. Why does it seem to be bothering you now? It’s ugly. Why don’t they move it? I kind of like it. I don’t know why they ... More About: Minds , Young
You Want Fries with That
2011-08-15 18:37:00 With the beginning of school just over a week away, the list of things we need to get done on any particular day seems to be growing exponentially longer. It makes the last week of a relaxing summer vacation anything but. It seems we’re on the go with purpose almost every day. As such, that ...
Scrambled Eggs ….. and Sausage
2011-08-06 23:44:00 I’ve just completed a whirlwind week. Parties and practices, appointments and obligations. Unofficially dubbed as Zane’s Fantabulous Birthday Week of Celebrations, it more closely resembled an out of control train perpetually gaining speed, rapidly approaching a hairpin turn. Or a wildfire. Maybe a drowning. Call it what you will, it was exhausting and I am tired. My kids are tired as well. I’m not exactly sure when they decided to call it a night. Stories vary and details are sketchy. Someone mentioned 2am. Others said never. I feel the truth lies somewhere in between. Heavy eyes and lethargy tell me that I’m not far off. I woke this morning to the carnage that is a sleepover with friends. The tent outside appeared to have been used but not for long. Bodies lay strewn about the living room floor. The room smelled of sleepiness. ”Where’s Zane?” I asked Zia. “He and Matthew went hunting for snakes,” s... More About: Eggs , Sausage
Take Courage
2011-08-01 08:03:00 I’ve come to believe that in the grand scheme of things, things are just that. Significance attaches to things it oughtn’t and import is lost. Soon nothing is. Loneliness and solitude are unlikely companions among the tumult and the fray that defines daily existence. And yet it is exactly here where both reside. It’s been a while. Maybe too long. Perhaps not long enough. Here we go… I put my 8 year old to bed for the last time tonight. I kissed him, hugged him tight and wished him a good night as I always do. He’ll not sleep well, too excited for what tomorrow brings. I’ll not sleep either for reasons altogether different yet almost entirely the same. Zane will be celebrating his birthday in the morning. Nine years. He’s fairly certain that means he’s grown up, now. It’ll be a daunting task convincing him otherwise. (I wrote this two years ago when Zane turned 7. Two years seems an eternity...
Don’t Poke the Angry Raccoon!
2011-05-03 19:39:00 I don’t like this. What don’t you like, Zella? My hair. I don’t like it like this. Why? It makes me look like a girl! Zella, you are a girl. I DON’T LIKE IT! (That’s what thirty pounds of fury looks like, people. Be afraid. Be very afraid.) comment. share. peace. More About: Angry
I Imagine Tonight…..
2011-05-02 17:01:00 I closed my eyes last night as the images of people cheering filled the television screen. Crowds by the thousands were gathering. Flags were being waved. A man is dead and collectively we celebrate. I’m not quite sure how I’m supposed to feel about that. “We don’t kill! We don’t hurt! That is not who we are and it is not what we are about!” I exasperatedly spoke these exact words to my children just this past weekend as one of the games they were playing was apparently getting out of hand. I count myself fortunate — extremely fortunate — that the events of the past decade have only tangentially affected my life. I watched buildings collapse and people perish as my daughter made busy with toys and the concerns of a child in front of it all. I watched as neighbors, second-hand acquaintances and even friends left their homes, their families and their security to protect me and mine. My children are growing up in a time ...
Notching the Milestone Belt
2011-04-20 14:57:00 She started asking me last year. Not persistently, but often. Never demanding. It was actually more a feeble plead, a half-hearted request completely lacking in confidence. “You’re not ready” was typically all it took to quell her desires. I wasn’t about to tell her that it was me who was not ready. These things, simple as they may appear on the surface, cut deep as they loose whatever fibers of relevance I imagine binding us together. ”Maybe next summer.” It is not yet summer — hell, spring has been barely discernible through all of the lingering cold and threatening snow. I’m still running the freaking heater!! Yet it only took one warm day, one afternoon of sunshine and temperatures mild enough to force us out of doors to rekindle the pleas. And it would appear the long winter’s nap had given them bite. Half-hearted and lacking confidence were nowhere to be found. These were no longer meek requests but bo... More About: Belt
Come On In
2011-03-25 14:36:00 The fog comes on little cat feet…. Except they weren’t cat feet. And it wasn’t fog. It really wasn’t very silent. And it never moved on. It was a precocious five year old who claimed to have had “a dream.” “That’s funny,” I mumbled to myself in my stupor. “I had a dream too. I dreamed that I was asleep!” “Come on in.” The invitation unnecessary as she had already made herself quite comfortable next to me commandeering my pillow and shoving me to the edge of the bed. Ten minutes is an eternity when you’re up at 4. It’s also the exact amount of time it took Zander to realize Zella was not in her bed. He looked in the hall. He looked in the bathroom. He looked in the living room, the kitchen, the study… I know this for he left a trail of lights. An illuminated checklist of the places his sister was not. He repeated his search calling out in a raspy voice. ”Zella? Zel...
I Pre-Disastered My Monday — Bring on the Week
2011-03-21 13:36:00 Grocery shopping with kids in tow is always a slippery slope. You never really know what type of behavior they’re going to demonstrate until you’ve entered the confines of the building and even then it’s a crapshoot. Things can go from good to bad depending on the aisle. I’m not above offering rewards for good behavior though I generally tend to avoid the issue altogether. It’s an arrangement for fools. The kids know that they can get away with murder unless you are willing to offer up a ransom — a cookie, drink, candy. Exactly what a mongrel full of destructive energy should be receiving — more energy! “What do we get if we’re good?” “Why don’t we talk about what you don’t get if you’re good?” “Huh??” “How about if you’re good you don’t get a beat down in front of God and everybody else in this store. Now straighten up or I’ll leave you for dea... More About: Week , Monday
Had I Not Written Anything, This Would Have Been a Wordless Wednesday
2011-03-16 15:18:00 The birds are singing this morning and for the life of me I can’t figure out why. It’s chilly out, much more so than I’d care to experience. I’ve grown weary of layers. It’s dark and overcast and the smell of rain hangs heavy in the air. Or on the ground. The point is, it’s wet which gives the illusion that it’s colder than it actually is and I’m tired of being cold. Somewhere behind the darkness the sun is doing it’s thing. It’s difficult to be sure from this side of the clouds. It is a Wednesday disguised as a Monday. I got a new camera a few weeks back. New in this instance a completely relative term for the camera is every bit of 60 years old. Maybe 70. There’s not a lot of information floating around about the thing. (Quite possibly there is but I’m seriously too damn lazy to research it.) It’s an old box camera — a Spiegel Elf 120 — and as near as I can tell it was pr...
A Snow Day and Field Research — Getting Serious with a Month of Proje
2011-02-25 17:47:00 The phone rang at 6:01 am only minimally disturbing my post alarm snooze filled stupor. I hadn’t been there long, 3 hours tops, and the tension and cramping I had managed to work into my neck and back by falling asleep in the chair hadn’t really worked itself out yet. I smiled before I answered because I knew worst case that I’d have at least two more hours. “Good morning,” the message began. “Delaware City Schools are on a two hour delay this morning…” It is amazing how adept I am at resetting the alarm clock in a near blind and comatose state. When the phone rang again at 6:54 am I didn’t even bother to answer it. I simply reached up, turned off the alarm clock and went back to sleep. SNOW DAY!!! I managed 10 am without much difficulty. And no, I do not feel guilty about that. I made my way into the living room to find my five little monkeys glued to the television, all of them in various array of dress — ... More About: Research , Snow
Ji Ga Zo and an FTC Disclosure
2011-02-23 15:05:00 According to FTC guidelines — I am told this for I have never actually taken the time to read an FTC guideline — but according to FTC guidelines whenever I am given a product to review I am supposed to let you guys know that I was given the product to review. That’s what I’m doing now. I’m letting you know that I was given a copy of a product to review. I’m also reviewing the product that I was given to review as it only seems fair that if someone is going to go to the trouble of giving me a product to review then I should actually review the product. You see, one of the great many advantages of operating a blog (and quite frankly, there are bunches) is that from time to time generous people will send you stuff and say, “Hey, would you mind taking a look at this and then reviewing it?” There are books, games, toys, movies….the list goes on. Unfortunately, no one has ever said to me, “Hey Ed, here’s a huge p...
Shut Up and Drive
2011-02-12 19:11:00 “I can’t hear a word you are saying! Seriously, we just talked about this!” The rant was on! I’ve probably repeated this same rant a thousand times. Maybe more. For as long as my kids have been speaking I’ve implored them to enunciate, speak clearly and loudly enough so that I can hear what they are saying. Speak with authority. The exercise serves several purposes, or so I’d like to think. I would like to believe that having them speak clearly will somehow carry over to a time when they are speaking to someone other than me. That when they speak they won’t be discounted as silly kids with nothing of import to say for they are speaking with authority — people should listen and take them seriously. Also, when you speak clearly and in a volume sufficient for you listener it gives the impression that you sincerely care about the words that are coming out of your mouth — the listener should care as well. Mumbling th... More About: Drive
Boys Don’t Have Agendas
2011-01-28 15:41:00 “Zoë and Zane, did Mommy sign your agenda?” Fair question and simple enough I thought. Zoë and Zane are both required to keep an agenda for school that essentially lists what homework assignments are due, what tests are coming up, etc. etc. Our job as parents is to match what the kids have written in their agendas with what the teachers have listed on the school website taking into account that there may have been additions or omissions based purely on whatever the kids say. It’s also a handy place to correspond with the kids’ teachers. We sign the agenda nightly and as does the teacher. Well, we’re supposed to sign it nightly. I have a tendency to forget. Maura doesn’t. And as she had been helping the kids with their homework I assumed she had signed the agendas but wanted to make sure. “Yep!” “Yes!” they both responded. Zander, looking puzzled, stopped eating his cereal and put down his spoon. “But...
I Triple Dog Dare You!
2011-01-24 03:55:00 The thing about your kids getting older — as if there was just one thing and you could possibly encapsulate coming of age with a simple synopsis — anyway, the thing about your kids getting older is that you find yourself less of a presence in their significant experiences. Oh, you’re still around, you know, close enough to offer instruction or gleam some sort of lesson of lasting import. Just not close enough, it seems, to curtail unwise decisions. The thing about your kids getting older is that life is now imparting instruction not just you. I’ve ranted, bitched and moaned about the ridiculously frigid winters in Ohio for as long as I’ve had the privilege to experience the ridiculously frigid winters in Ohio. I’ve made no bones of the fact that I dislike them. I hate them. I loathe them. Is there a more harsh or damning sentiment that I could use to strike home my point? How about — They fucking suck!!! I feel, though, that aft...
And the Ball Jumped Over the Moon
2010-11-17 22:59:00 It was colder than it looked outside — the chill in the air actually doing little to stifle our enthusiasm for just being out there. And so we played. Until we decided it really was cold and we came back in. Oh, and also because Zander stepped in dog poo. comment. share. peace. More About: Moon
One for a Tuesday
2010-11-16 14:30:00 The leaf blower is acting contrary, starting but refusing to run. It blows. Figuratively speaking, that is, for a leaf blower that will not run does not really blow now does it? Were I more mechanically inclined I could probably fix the damn thing. As it is, I am not — the ever increasing layer of fallen leaves on my driveway a testament to the fact. I ponder the insignificant giving audience to things of little or no import. I am a font of useless information. I suppose I could read more, keep abreast of the current. You know, like news. That would probably just cause me to worry and I don’t particularly care to do any of that. Maybe I should spend more time introspective. Focusing thoughts and energy inward on goals and direction. Meaning and purpose. It’s been said that that the people who do so are more happy. I’m not so sure. Socrates said that the unexamined life is not worth living. That was just before they killed him. Mayb...
Void
2010-11-10 14:42:00 There’s a two and a half ton hole in my basement. Hole might not be the correct word. Void. That’s it. There’s a two and a half ton void in my basement. Void The bomb has been dismantled. It took three guys two days to take apart our old boiler. Piece by piece they hammered and sawed and carted massive pieces of metal up and out of the basement. They were methodical, efficient and surprisingly neat. We’re still waiting on the new boiler to arrive but fortunately the weather has given a bit of a reprieve. Who says global warming is a bad thing? Though I must admit when the temperatures climb to the low sixties outside we think of it as pleasant, comforting almost. Enjoyable even. But when the temperatures climb to the low sixties in your living room — it’s still freaking cold! I am a living version of CLICK, CLACK, MOO. Cows That Type. My house is the barn and we all want electric blankets. I’m not quite sure who...
I’m Doing Nothing For Charity
2010-11-02 15:47:00 September is National Prostate Cancer Awareness Month. Yeah, I know. It’s November. We kind of missed it. But it’s not too late to shed a bit of light on this potentially devastating disease that will affect 1 in 6 men. In fact, a man is 35% more likely to be diagnosed with prostate cancer than a woman is to be diagnosed with breast cancer. It’s pretty popular. However, with early detection and treatment there is a greater than 90% cure rate. The dudes over at DadCentric have joined forces to raise awareness by participating in the Movember Foundation’s moustache growing charity event held during November each year to raise funds and awareness for men’s health. As I considered the implications of such an event I thought, “You mean, I can not shave for a month and say I’m doing it for charity? My sloth a worthwhile endeavor?” It’s we call in the business a “win/win” situation. Count me in. I’ll be... More About: Charity
The Great Pumpkin Mystery Exposed
2010-10-26 15:36:00 “I think I know why the Great Pumpkin never showed up,” Zoë offered over her breakfast bagel clearly haven given the mystery a great deal of thought. Our Halloween festivities are a bit lagging this year as it wasn’t until Sunday night that we broke out the Charlie Brown dvds. Watching Good Ol’ Chuck officially marks the onset of the holidays around these parts. We have the trilogy — The Great Pumpkin, The Charlie Brown Thanksgiving and The Charlie Brown Christmas and watch them in succession October, November and December. Somehow I don’t really feel that the holidays have arrived until I get my dose of Charlie Brown or Linus Van Pelt waxing poetic about some aspect of the holiday season and how it should pertain to my life in a meaningful way. The Great Pumpkin reminds me to be sincere. Oh, and that a bag of rocks does not make for the most enjoyable of Tricks or Treats booty. We began our afternoon at the pumpkin patch. We&rsquo... More About: Mystery
Keep Your Thoughts to Yourself — If You Can
2010-10-20 15:50:00 So I’m driving the kids home from school the other day. We’d finished our usual “How was your day?” and “So what did you learn?” yada, yada.. routine and were driving along in silence. Zoë had her head in a book, Zane was staring out of the window and for once, Zia and the twins had elected to forgo their typical afterschool backseat battles and were riding along peacefully. It was almost eerie. My mind began to wander, as it often does, to the things I needed to do when we arrived back home. To things that have little or no significance. To just things. I flitted my way from thought to thought, not spending too great a time on any. “The check,” I thought. And then audibly, “Did I remember to…” and then back to silence. But before I had even completed the sequence in my head Zane blurted out, “write the check to Mr. M for Zoë’s tutoring? Yes, you did.” A shiver went up my spine and I n... More About: Thoughts
It Wouldn’t Pass Muster for a Fire Drill — But 9 Minutes Ain&rs
More articles from this author:2010-10-19 15:22:00 My wife’s got a new gig. Unfortunately, it requires her to travel quite a bit. I’m not complaining, it’s all good and it’s been great for the family. I only bring it up to note that when she’s away (like last night) I sleep with my bedroom door open. In case I need to hear anything in the middle of the night. You know, like the pitter-patter of tiny feet that aren’t sleeping. Prime example — this morning. In the cloud of disorientation that is the early morning around Casa de Ed I heard footsteps. Footsteps before the alarm. Generally, this is not a good thing. I was also able to determine with my super-spidey-senses that these footsteps were not of the pitter-patter variety. I thought that Maura might have come home though I quickly realized she’s gone for one more day. A quick glance at the clock and I knew. 7:11 am. Grandma!! Crap!!! I had forgotten to set the alarm clock. Again. Having learned our lessons, neith... More About: Fire , Pass 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 |
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