Zoe's Dad

RSS Feed Homepage

Articles: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

Extra, Extra. Read all about.......
2007-11-08 09:59:00
....Me!!! That's right blog fan (no, I did not forget to pluralize that) I am a headliner.  A good friend of mine.....umm, a buddy of mine.....no, wait...a  guy I met in a bar....actually, he's one of the blogs I read regularly and has begun a series of interviews of at-home-dads.  For some strange reason, he chose to interview me.  You can read all about it at Quirkee.com, an award-winning humor and entertainment online publication (Issue #74:  November 8, 2007).  You owe it to yourself to check it out.  I mean, check me out. Then stick around and check out more of Quirkee or head over to James' blog, Daddyshack.  All time well spent, I assure you.  Then come back and let me know what you think.
More About: Read , Extra , Headline News

Rub some dirt on it.....
2007-11-05 10:45:00
The screaming was unmistakable.  Real pain.  Hurt.  This is a scream that requires immediate attention.  Drop whatever it is you are doing and tend to this.  How did I know?  As a parent, you just know, we all know.  It's a skill we have acquired not by design but rather, experience.  For better or worse, it's how our children communicate with us.  For any of you without children, here's a brief rundown of some of the basic screams you might happen to encounter in a given day and their associated literal translation.         ;      &nbs p;      &nb sp;      &n bsp;      & nbsp;               ;      &nbs p;      &nb sp;      &n bsp;  ...
More About: Dirt , Some

So, he said yes......
2007-10-27 01:35:00
For some reason, I feel it necessary to update my readers on an earlier post.  Last month, you may remember that Zoë and Zane wrote a letter to the President of the United States.  It was a simple, childlike (they are just six and five years old respectively) yet impassioned plea for an end to the war in Iraq.  If you haven't read the post, please take a minute to catch yourself up.  You can find it here.  Go ahead.  I'll wait.To date, the war in Iraq has totaled over 3,800 military deaths and by some counts upwards of 75,000 civilian casualties since the initial invasion in 2003.  Couple that with the almost untold numbers of military and civilian wounded and injured and the numbers seem unfathomable.  This war has affected every single person in this country directly or indirectly.  There are no six degrees of separation here.  Everyone I know either has a family member, neighbor, friend, or acquaintance that has in some way been...

Shhhhh!!....
2007-10-25 08:31:00
So I took the twins to the library this morning.  I would love to tell you that everyone greeted me like Norm from cheers as I entered the lobby but that just wasn't the case.  I'd love to tell you that at the ripe old age of 21 months--why do we do that?  Twenty one months.  Not quite two but way more advanced than one.  I guess with infants and toddlers, months are simply a better indicator of a child's true age and what is expected of them.  Developmental Milestones I believe is the appropriate term.   There are so many characteristics that come into play with each advancing month that it's just easier to give the month time line.  That way, I suppose, it makes it easier for other parents to compare their children to yours and in that vein keep their noses ever so slightly tilted upward as they silently exalt themselves on the fine job they have done with their offspring in comparison to your challenged lot.  But I digress.  I...
More About: Library

It could have been worse......
2007-10-21 00:52:00
 So I woke up yesterday morning and saw this.....     I think I'm going to need a bigger saw!  

Shout it out.....
2007-10-15 08:49:00
"Dad, you're doing it again.  Dad.....Daaaadd!!  You're talking to yourself again.""Oh.  Sorry, Zoë.  Was that out loud?""Yes, Dad.  What are you talking about?""Nothing, Zoë.  I was just thinking about something.  Don't worry about it."I can not beging to tell you how many times during the course of a normal day I find myself taking pause to consider something I have just said or thought.  Ninety percent of the time it's benign stuff that any of us would be thinking throughout the course of the day--the cat gave me that look again, I need to pick up some food...don't forget to get some gas for the mower, the lawn's looking a bit shabby and the neighbors are starting to stare...that's your last square of Charmin buddy, get some tp when you get the cat food...I wore this t-shirt yesterday...it's OK, you didn't go anywhere, you're the only one that knows...did I turn off the iron?...OK.  So that last one has never been an iss...
More About: Shout

A little perspective.....
2007-10-08 10:32:00
?It is true, I never assisted the sun materially in his rising, but doubt not, it was of the last importance only to be present at it?  Henry David Thoreau It's Monday but it could be worse.  Here's to hoping the sun rises wherever you are today.
More About: Perspective , Litt

Is this what Dawkins meant?.....
2007-10-05 00:26:00
The term meme (it's pronounced like dream or cream) was coined by Richard Dawkins , Professor of the Public Understanding of Science at Oxford University, in his 1976 book The Selfish Gene. Memes are habits, skills, songs, stories, or any other kind of information that is copied from person to person. As examples he suggested ?tunes, ideas, catch-phrases, clothes fashions, ways of making pots or of building arches?. Memes, like genes, are replicators. That is, they are information that is copied with variation and selection. Because only some of the variants survive, memes (and hence human cultures) evolve. Memes are copied by imitation, teaching and other methods, and they compete for space in our memories and for the chance to be copied again. Large groups of memes that are copied and passed on together are called co-adapted meme complexes, or memeplexes. The word ?meme? has recently been included in the Oxford English Dictionary where it is defined as follows ?meme (mi:m), n. Bi...

Allow me to introduce you.......
2007-09-19 01:36:00
The leaves have started in an ever so subtle way to change their colors and break free from the branches that have sustained their tiny lives since the spring when they blossomed forth.  No longer are my children able to walk silently through the yard as now leaves crunch loudly beneath their feet.  OK, so my kids, to the best of my recollection, have never walked silently through the yard.  Remember that scene in Stripes when the platoon is running like banshees through the woods as they tackle the confidence course.  That is my kids in the yard at all times.  The piles of leaves grow larger with each passing day. Happens every year.  I love this time of year for the inevitable changing of the season is not only visible, but it is audible and tangible.  You can even smell fall in the air as the cooler air undoubtedly spurs the weekend bonfires and burning leaf piles.  Yes, the season is changing and with summer's passing I am also able to jo...
More About: Happy Birthday , Allo

I'm gonna send a letter.....
2007-09-14 13:47:00
So I am on my way to the post office to mail a letter.  Seems pretty insignificant, right?  Well, in the grand scheme of things it probably is but I'm gonna do it anyway.  You see, I grew up in the era of the letter.  If someone wronged you in any way, send a letter. You're not happy with the local tv station because during a commercial break of your kids favorite Winnie the Pooh cartoon they had the audacity to air a douche advertisement and now your precious tot is scarred for life?  Send a letter.  You didn't like the way you were treated at Che Snobs?  Send a letter.  The guy at the service station, you know the one, seems familiar like you went to grade school together but can't recall seeing him in high school. It's because he was never there.  He spent his formative years hanging out behind the Tic Toc smoking weed laughing at all of the idiots wiling away their days slaving in the man's schoolhouse.  Well, now he's sec...
More About: Iraq , Letter , Hope , Gonna

It's a sad day.....
2007-09-04 07:52:00
"It's a sad day....."I will never forget my brother's account of the origin of that phrase as relayed to him by our mother upon his arrival home from work one evening.  As he walked into the living room where she always sat, upright with her hands folded ever so properly in her lap he could tell that something was troubling her.  The house was in slight disarray but nothing so out of proportion as to be cause for great alarm.  Yet she looked distraught, clearly ill at ease and almost mournful.  Had she lost something, someone?  One of the cats or the dog?  Had she received some sort of bad news from one of her bridge buddies?  Did someone die?  What could possibly be going on?  "What is it?" he almost regretted asking."There's not a cookie in the house."I'm not even sure if he remembers the story but for some reason it stuck with me and I have used the phrase often, quite often.  My mother was completely serious in both the meani...

Tis' the season.....
2007-08-27 08:42:00
Tis the season to be jolly, fa la la la la....la la la la!  It's the most wonderful time of the year..it's the hap--happiest season of all!  Oh, you better watch out, you better not cry.  Why?  Because THERE'S NO CRYING IN FOOTBALL!!!  That's right, people.  In case you haven't noticed or have been unfortunately locked away in a cellar deprived of any means of communication with the outside world, football season is upon us.  Am I a fan?  Well, I don't bleed purple and gold, I don't have season tickets, I've never bought the all access season cable pass for the low, low price of $495 bowl games, halftime specials and overtimes not included. Your favorite team is probably subject to blackouts but pay anyway and you can watch The Tennesse Valley Inter City Squad scrimmage practices unless of course you live in Tennesee and wish to see that team because they will then have to be blacked out also...and I have actually mowed the yard on gam...
More About: Family Time , Season , Seas

Teach a child to fish.....
2007-08-16 00:35:00
My grandfather was a saint.  I am convinced that he had to be.  I can't say as I recall too many theological discussions with the man, nor do I ever recall hearing him pray.  Oh, he went to church every Sunday and always had a little something in his pocket when the offering plate was passed his way but to actually call the man religious I think might be stretching things just a tad.  I do seem to recall on more than one occasion where he invoked the name of the lord, but I think that was usually due to something my brother and I had done to elicit his heavenly pleas.  No, my reasons for believing in his canonization are entirely different.  He taught me how to fish. There were very few things in his life after my grandmother and golf that he enjoyed more than fishing.  He was old school, too.  A little fourteen foot aluminum boat with a 3 horsepower Johnson outboard motor and live bait, either minnows or crickets, sometimes worms, and a can...
More About: Fish , Child , Teac

Harry Potter is Alive!!!!.....
2007-08-07 00:21:00
Spoiler??  Hardly.  I haven't read the first Harry Potter book and to my recollection, I've only seen two of the movies, maybe three.  No, what I'm talking about here is the resurgence of Potter Mania in Casa de Zoë's Dad.  You see, my wife is a huge fan of the Potter boy.  She's read em' all and seen em' all.  I do recall one year before Zoë was born wading through the masses of freckle faced children wearing capes and wizard hats and those black round rimmed glasses in Barnes and Noble at midnight just to get her copy hot off the presses as it were.  I happened to be out of town during the release party this year and my wife seized the opportunity to once again haunt the B&N Harry Potter release party only this time she had a more enthusiastic entourage.  All five of our Z's took part in the evening's festivities and I can safely say were fans of Ms. Rowlings' work long before night's end.  So much so that ...
More About: Alive

Crop, crop. Clip, clip....Oh what a relief it is.....
2007-07-29 12:23:00
Minutiae.  How much of every single day do I find myself absorbed in minutiae?  Now that's not to be confused with manure, of which I tend to find myself intimately acquainted on a regular basis.  Rather, I find myself in the constant condition of observing and taking note of the most trivial of details.  What may seem to be totally insignificant to one may be a monumental event to another.  And now, dear reader (you know who you are) allow me to include you in some of the minutiae of my life.   This past Thursday night we did something really big.  Zoë and Z, my oldest boy, got a haircut.  Let me say that again, for in dealing with minutiae one has a tendency to glaze over and actually miss the tiny details at hand.  Zoë and Z, my oldest boy, got a haircut.  Why, you may be asking yourself, is getting a haircut such a significant event?  Read on.  I've got answers.   You see, Zoë and well, all my children for that m...
More About: Clip , Relief , Crop

I've never really liked Jello molds.....
2007-07-27 00:05:00
Slowly, yet surely, I am losing my mind.  Not that it has ever been considered one of my biggest assets but it is definietly eroding from me now like the shifting sands on an unstable fault line. I'm not quite sure that I'm able to pinpoint a cause although several reasons have been tendered.  1)  Years of self medication are catching up with me.  I quit smoking just over a year ago and hopped on the proverbial wagon last October.  One would think that any lingering adverse side-effects would have cleared my system by now.  (My metabolism has slowed quite a bit these past few years but I doubt seriously that is my problem.)  2)  I was dropped as a child.  Lots of fodder for a strong argument here, although my permanent medical record fails to provide unequivical proof.  3)  I was really, really bad in a previous life and am now being handed my just due.  Well, this argument is pretty ridiculo...
More About: Molds , Really , Ally , Mold

Ding Dong the witch is dead.....
2007-07-09 08:16:00
It's not very often that my wife and I get a night to ourselves.  Our Z's keep us constantly on our toes and usually by the time we manage any significant separation we're too tired to even think about doing something for ourselves.  I've heard the term date night tossed around amongst those with children.  They say it keeps the marriage and personal relationships healthy.  I believe in our situation a more appropriate term would be prison break.  After all, when we do finally manage to find time to ourselves I feel quite like a prisoner on the lam having finally tunnelled my way to freedom using nothing more than a plastic comb and a toothbrush now constantly looking over my shoulder as I'm sure the hounds have taken hold of my scent.  Always in the back of my mind I hear the taunts, "What we have here...is failure to communicate." Such was the case this past Friday night when my wife and I, after months of scheming, digging an...
More About: Dead , Dong , Witch

With pomp and parade.....
2007-07-05 07:03:00
"....solemnized with pomp and parade, with shows, games, sports, guns, bells, bonfires, and illuminations, from one end of this continent to the other, from this time forward forever more."--John Adams in a letter to his wife dated July 3, 1776.  It's just after 11:00pm and I feel it safe to say we can count another holiday as having officially passed.  So how did we fare in accordance with what Mr. Adams felt would surely be requisite observance of our nation's independence?Let's see.....  Pomp and parade.  No parade this year however, I tender that with three of my five Z's falling into the category of not a guy there was plenty of pomp.  Case in point.  The dress up box.  The God of Rain did his best to dampen our Indepence Day spirits with frequent short showers interspersed throughout the day.  Rather than be dismayed at the inclement weather my girls turned to the dress up box.  Nothing brings back ...
More About: Parade , Arad

Jam on, You Hippie Freaks!
2007-06-25 04:44:00
The streak is still alive, seven years and counting.  In an otherwise quiet park located just north of the arena district downtown every June  for the past 35 years a three day festival is held.  I heard somewhere that it is the oldest free music festival in the country.  Is that true?  I don't know.  But Zoë, at the ripe old age of six has just celebrated her seventh Comfest.  She was 5 months old that first time.  Now a seasoned veteran, mere mention of Comfest and she excitedly exclaims, "New tie-dye!"  She even helps weave through the hordes of festival go-ers to find the tie-dye booth.  This year she helped pick new outfits for the entire family.  I got a little teary-eyed just watching her.  Wait, that was from the smoke billowing over from the rib kiosk, which we also patronized.The festival is billed as a family friendly place where you can just kick back and soak up the "vibe of an enviable exercise in partic...
More About: Freaks

Thanks for the warning, Andy.....
2007-06-17 05:07:00
Warhol once said, "In the future, everyone will be world famous for 15 minutes."  I've spent my entire life trying to figure out how I was going to leave my mark, my signature.  How will the world know that I was here?  What will be the Legacy of Ed?  I'm nominal, at best when it comes to sports. I can barely hold a tune in a bucket. I don't play an instrument. I don't have a best selling novel floating around in my head. Forget business ideas, and I'm not really all that altruistic, so servitude is out.  Six years ago this January, I finally got it.  I realized in a single moment on a snowy winter day, how I would be shaping the future, changing the world around me.  My epiphany. January 18, 2001 at 3:54pm I became a father."And the clouds parted to cast a true shadow."  My idiotic quest for personal glorification died that day as I then came to realize it's no longer about me.  My life now has purpose, foc...
More About: Andy , Warning , Father , Warhol , Thanks

Badges? We don't Need no Stinking Badges.....
2007-06-13 05:51:00
Three merit badges.  Three.  That's all that stood between me and the illustrious rank of Eagle Scout.  Citizenship in the Community.  Citizenship in the Nation.  Citizenship in the World.  Wow!  I knew at the ripe old age of twelve years old that I would never be a leader.  Hell, I really wasn't much of a follower either.  I just couldn't seem to pull enough focus to string together the last three merit badges.  By the time I hit Junior High School after-school sports and my out of control hormones pretty much derailed my scouting career.  Regrets?  Maybe a few.  I suppose Eagle Scout would have looked good on a resume.  But I did learn a lot from scouting, lessons I find myself passing on to my kids today.  I'll never forget the first merit badge I earned.  Camping.  Look closely at the tent in the picture.  My first tent was exactly like that.  Standard Army issue green canvas, two ...
More About: Stinking , Badges , Badge

Pedestals are for plants, not men.....
2007-06-03 05:41:00
"Good. For a moment there, I thought we were in trouble." -- "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid."  I just finished reading an article about the disappearance of the honey bee.  Pandeminc proportions of hives totally abandoned not just in America but all over the world causing conspirists to offer up countless suggestions as to why.  My favorite is related to the poor managerial tactics used by beekepers that provide colonies to crops all over the country.  Basically, these colonies are the equivalent of our very own migrant work force who feel overworked, overstressed and underpaid and just up and quit.  What do I think?  Sounds to me like the bees are gone.  I haven't got a clue.  However, the article ended with several exit lines from various movies and the one from "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid" made me smile as some of my earliest and best childhood memories came flooding back.  Man, I wanted to be the Sundance ...
More About: Plants , The Hulk , Plan , Plant

Six days.....
2007-05-25 05:11:00
No more pencilsNo more booksNo more teacher's dirty looks.....School's out for summer!!Well, not just yet but the countdown has definitely begun.  Zoë has but six days remaining and my boy, Z just finished his final day of pre-K.  His class celebrated the occasion with a picnic in the park.  It could not have been a more perfect day, sun shining brightly in a cloudless blue sky and temperatures in the mid eighties.  There were hordes of juice boxes, brownies, cookies, cupcakes and lots and lots of sliding.  Nothing says school's out to a bunch of four and five year olds like mounds of sugar laden treats and a fifteeen foot twirly slide.  As I stood on the sides of the playground watching Z bounce from activity to activity I couldn't help but to reflect on the closing school year and perhaps ponder what the future holds.In early February, we enrolled Z in a different school.  He had begun the year in our local pre-K program and much to our ...
More About: Days

Rocking out or rocking chair?....
2007-05-22 06:00:00
Man, I wish I was 23 again!!  Or even 33 for that matter. Create Your Own PaloozaHead - Visit Lollapalooza.com
More About: Chair , Chai

I'm a Quitter.....
2007-05-17 23:00:00
I'm a quitter.  That's right.  I'm the punk kid at the park who gets pissed off when he can't kick the ball and yells, "I quit!", grabs his ball and and stomps home.  Hell, once as a kid I can remember the exact scenario, getting home and realizing, "Man, this isn't my ball!"I've started and stopped so many home improvement projects that I've lost count.  My general theory is to get the project to a functioning level then move on.  I've got some sort of tool in just about every room in my house left over from some project or repair task I started or puttered with then just got frustrated, bored or lost interest altogether and never put away the tools.  It drives my wife nuts.It's not just home improvement, either.  Pick a task, any task.  I have probably, at some point, in my life started and stopped it.  Swim team?  Freshman year.  Quit .  Football?  Sophmore year.  Quit.  (In my defen...

John Lithgow Rocks!!!
2007-05-15 04:21:00
I consider myself a reasonably knowlegeable individual, a street smart kind of guy.  Not necessarily the most well read or all that well versed in life's great classroom but I can hold my own.  I pretty much feel that I have been exposed to enough situations and odd circustances in my life that when something new presents itself the well is deep enough to at least draw some sort of comparisons and work my way through any task.  Oh, there's plenty I don't know, I'll readily admit my shortcomings.  I'm not proud.  However, after six years of this Stay at Home Dad gig, I feel I've got a pretty good handle on most of the things that I may be presented with during the normal couse of a day.  Let's face it, with five kids you pretty much are tested with fire.  Daily.  Most days I feel like the shiny new ceramic vase that has just been pulled from the kiln.  That's right!  I can take the heat.  But never in ...
More About: John , Rocks

Happy Birthday Z!.....
2007-05-11 03:58:00
I suppose when compared to varied celebratory events that take place in a child's life during the normal course of a year, the fact that any kid can get excited about commemorating the milestone of having successfully completed another year of existence is absolutely amazing.  Let's start with the  two big ones.  Gift occasions, that is.  You've got Christmas and Easter.  Then there's Valentines Day.  Oh, and Halloween (not so much a gift occasion but I have to believe that the dispensation of immeasurable quantities of processed sugar for having to do nothing more than recite a pithy line, "Trick or Treat!" has got to rank real high on any kid scale of favorite holidays.)  And I didn't even mention that you get to actually be Belle or Jasmine or Captain America.  Little known Halloween fact that the costume actually manifests your child's fantasies.  Yes, Halloween is a big one.  July Fo...
More About: Happy , Birthday , Birth , Happy Birthday

Table for six, please.....
2007-04-25 15:58:00
It's inevitable.  I can not recall a single time in the past two years that I have been anywhere with my kids that someone has not stopped me to say, "Boy, you've got your hands full."  The sad truth is that I have yet to come up with a witty reply.  So far, all I have been able to muster is a smile and a half hearted "yes I do."  On the flip side of the general perception of those with whom I come into contact on a daily basis, those that perceive my hands as full, I honestly do not feel burdened.  Oh, don't get me wrong.  There are days that I wish would be over sooner than others.  Days that bedtime has come at 6 pm simply to avoid a lynching.  I mean, we start each morning with a head count and I would prefer to keep that number constant.  I don't need to lose any of the flock simply because, "Daddy just lost it!  Really.  He snapped!"I truly enjoy what I do.  I love my kids and I'm proud of them, proud of their go...
More About: Tabl , Please , Table , Lease , Ease

A Line in the Sand.....
2007-04-21 00:50:00
Yesterday was a long day.  Inordinately long.  I would probably even go so far as to say that there were extra minutes inserted somewhere between the hours of 10:00 am and 1:30 pm.  As the week draws to an end, fatigue rears it's ugly head around our house and no one seems immune, myself included.  While the kids will bound from their beds bright eyed and jubilant on a Monday morning filled with the anticipatory excitement that a new week holds for them, by Thursday and Friday it's a bit more like trying to get the uninvited, hung over drunkard who showed up at your party last night to get his naked ass off your couch and out of your house.  On Monday I'll hear something like, "Good morning, Daddy! We love you!  It's gonna be a great day!"By Thursday, it's pretty much, "Mmmmmfff. Wwwwhhhmmm. I don't want to get up! I'm tired!"  All in that high pitched only a dog can hear it whine that I'm sure we have all experienced.  If yo...
More About: Sand , Line

The Student Has Become the Master.....
2007-04-18 02:00:00
What kind of parent would I be if I didn't take a moment (or two or three) to brag, dote, gloat and generally ramble on about how great my kid is?  OK. Kids are.  I'll match any or all of my five against any takers.  But, today it's just about Zoë.  My other Z's will surely have their turns.Zoë has been taking piano lessons for two years now.  She turned 6 in January.  You can do the math.  My wife and I knew that she was ready to take lessons.  Some things you just know about your kids.  Zoë has a gift.  Our problem was convincing an instructor of the same. Countless calls to potential instructors all had the same result.  "She's too young.  Call me when she turns six or eight."  Then we stumbled upon Mrs. B.  Stumbled may imply that it was luck or chance when in actuality it was the dogged persistence of my wife.  I can honestly say that if you give her a task or better yet, a challenge, s...
More About: Student , Come , Master , The Master , Mast