Zoe's DadZoe's DadBe careful what you wish for....reflections, musings and a cry for help from a stay at home father of 5. Humorous anectdates of a dad taken hostage by his children. Articles
Where Was Mark Yesterday!!
2010-04-14 19:52:00 Always tell the truth. That way, you never have to remember what you said. Mark Twain According to legend, and other manuscripts held in general high regard, there are ten commandments. Ten rather specific edicts which, if followed closely, serve a fairly good moral foundation. Arguably, a person that holds to these tenets would be in pretty good standing with the rest of society. God, too. Conversely, the person (whomever he or she may be) that voluntarily acts in such a manner that directly opposes these ten simple rules would as a result fail to maintain such elevated standing with society. Or her parents. Zoë at last count, had broken 3 of the 10 in a matter of 30 minutes yesterday afternoon. Three of ten!!! I feel certain that a purist could extrapolate and umbrella a few more but for the sake of sanity, I think we’ll stop there. It was a simple question. Not even accusatory or asked in a manner that would imply any sort of retribution regardless of Zo... More About: Yesterday
I Missed You, Too
2010-04-13 18:19:00 Alternatively titled:  (A Rambling and Essentially Incoherent Synopsis of the Last Several Weeks) Be it ever so humble… Nine days can seem a lifetime. Quite often, a lifetime is not enough. Time got the better of me.  Spring break has come and gone and I miss it already. Oh it was tiring, don’t get me wrong. But in a good way. The days and weeks leading up to the kids’ week from school were hectic at best. Frantic more aptly describes it. Easter, typically a fun time for our family anyway, was extra special this year. Made even more so by the warm wishes and support of friends and family. *Sometimes, you do what’s right for you, for your family. Regardless. You trust that the choices you make are for the right reasons and you hope that in the end it will all be worthwhile. That in the end, there will be some hint of understanding. That said, all opinions are valued and respected but negativity is most assuredly appreciated in it&rsq...
Banished!
2010-04-03 15:13:00 So we’re in the car yesterday, as we often are, and we’re having a conversation, as we often do. I’m not quite sure where the conversation turned or how it got here, but it did. Maura expressed her deep love of all things football. I echoed my fondness and Zane chimed in as well. Then Zoë spoke up, “Well, I don’t like football. I thinks it’s dumb.” In horror, he may have even shrieked, Zane said, “Anyone who doesn’t like football will have to leave the family.” To which Zoë nonchalantly replied, “I don’t care.” Without missing a beat, Zane shot back at her, “Fine! Best of luck at the orphanage, Zoë. I hope they have good gruel.” comment. share. peace.
It’s Wednesday — This is Wordless
2010-03-17 18:02:00 Tiger Lillies Last Month We Were Sledding That Hill AAAARRRR!!! Now That's Something You Don't See Every Day! comment. share. peace.
It Would Have Been Altruistic If I Hadn’t Taken a Photo — Or Po
2010-03-14 22:26:00 Karma I thought I might spread a little bit of good karma. You know, do something altruistic. I only needed an hour. I paid for 5. So that the person happening upon the spot after I had left it might have a little gift. A little something to make their day just a tad brighter. I guess snapping a picture and broadcasting my intentions pretty much eliminated any altruistic benefits from the gesture. Maybe the karma will stick. comment. share. peace. More About: Photo
The Most Best Food Ever!
2010-03-12 15:48:00 Zella is our very own Anton Ego. “I don’t like that.” Her typical critique offered at almost every meal. Regardless. There’s no go-to meal with the kid. One day she might ask for seconds or even thirds of a serving of Mac and Cheese. The next time you serve it — nothing. “What part don’t you like, Zella?” Ive asked. (And then making a gesture with her tiny little arm she starts at the top of the plate,) “From here … (and in a sweeping motion brings the arm across the plate to the bottom) … “to here!” She has made an evening meal out of a pea and a spoonful of ketchup. One pea!! And while Zella may quite be the worst of my culinary snobs, she’s certainly not the only one. In fact, all of my kids display varying degrees of Anton-ness. It makes meal preparation as Casa de Ed such a treat. Seriously. I toss out enough picked over, half eaten and rejected food each week to make a Vegas buff... More About: Food
This Explains a Lot
2010-03-10 14:18:00 Every once in a while we we stumble upon tiny glimpses of our past. Little bits and pieces of heritage and history. Answers to why. Snippets that account for what. Forgotten artifacts carelessly tossed in a corner of the attic. An old coat or shirt dry rotting on a hanger in the back of the closet. Dismantled or broken appliances, furniture or toys. They all offer insights from which we might postulate as to whom we really are and why we may be or act a certain way. Our past defining us, presently. Solid answers, however, are in the tangible. Scrapbooks, notes, letters. Photographs. I spent some time in the attic a few days ago on a completely unrelated quest and stumbled upon this little gem from my past. I think it explains a lot. comment. share. peace.
Why Won’t I Just Set the Automatic Brew Timer!
2010-03-09 16:12:00 The alarm was telling me that it was 5:30 am. I didn’t believe it. “No freaking way,” I mumbled. I gave it another chance to convince me. In fact, I gave it five more chances to convince me. At 5:30 am there is time to prepare coffee. Time to check the weather or stare at an empty in-box. Save for the reminders from my Google calendar that I have nothing to do today. At least I’ve got all day to do it. At 5:30 am there is time to prepare lunches. There is time to gently rouse sleeping varmints. Time to fold a load of laundry or start a new one. At 5:30 am there is time to … take time. At 6:15 am there is panic. There is no gentle easing into the day. At 6:15 am we are diving headlong in to the icy waters of running behind. There is confusion. There are disgruntled moans. There may be tears. There is no joy realized from the changing colors of milk at the bottom of the bowl. Cocoa Puffs need time to work their magic and we don’t hav... More About: Automatic , Timer
I’m the Sort of Thing They Ban
2010-03-04 21:31:00 So I’m in the car, as I often am, and I’m listening to the radio, as I often do. I’m a participatory listener in so much that if there’s music playing, chances are I’m tapping my foot or pounding out the rhythm on the steering wheel. I’m usually singing along. And on a really good day, there’s head bobbing. Today was a good day. The sun was shining this morning and my resolve to will spring’s arrival seemed to be working. I’ve done things to make sure that spring will be here in very short order. Tangible things. Noticeable things. I shaved the beard. Actually, I had it shaved. Remember the Karmic List of Good Things for Ed to Do (or something like that)? It’s not a bucket list. Bucket lists have certain connotations of finality. I’m not there yet. Karmic goodness is enduring. So I decided a few months ago that one of the things I should include on my Karmic List of Goodness should be a straight e... More About: Sort
You Seem a Decent Fellow, I Hate to Kill You.
2010-03-01 13:01:00 “Take that!” “And that!” She was an easy target. Her reflexes have little definition and she’s easily distracted with false moves. I alternated stabs from ribs to stomach and back again. She was powerless against my superior swordsmanship. She fought gallantly though, without fear. Laughing in the face of defeat. I stopped for a moment to let her catch her breath. If nothing else when it comes to sword fighting, I’m merciful. She mistook my gesture as a sign of weakness. Bowed up on me. Even flexed, holding up two of the tiniest clenched fists you will ever see. “You don’t scare me, little girl!” I turned to the counter to reach for a sip of water and she pounced, seizing the opportunity of my momentary lapse. She punched me. Right in the balls. I lay in a heap on the kitchen floor, a powerless, quivering mass at her feet. And without a word she reached down and took back her sword. With a little “hmmf&rd... More About: Hate
the table has been set
2010-02-25 22:57:00 It’s funny how certain things, things that have been in your possession for years, things that had no particular significance when they came into your being other than that they just were, can all of a sudden hold deep meaning. Importance. Relevance. St. Francis of Assisi I’ve had this tile of St. Francis for years. About 12 years, actually. Maura and I had picked this up when we were looking for remodeling ideas for the tiny kitchen of the very first house we bought.  It never was used but I thought it was kind of cool so I fastened a little hanger to it’s back and it’s been hanging on the walls in our kitchens ever since. Come Easter, it will finally have meaning. To me, at least. This Easter, for the first time in well, ever, my wife and I will share a meal together. The meal. Together. You know, sometimes we start off on a journey not realizing we’re going anywhere. We just walk. And plod. At times we’ll run, but not ... More About: Table
a moment to gloat—because that’s what I do
2010-02-23 19:33:00 I stepped on a moonbeam at the top of the stairs last night. The damn thing nearly tripped me. Funny thing, moonbeams. That actually has nothing to do with anything but for some reason I felt it needed sharing. My world seems to be spinning at an alarmingly fast pace as of late. Not out of control, mind you, just faster.   I’m struggling to keep pace fearful that I’m going to miss something important or at the very least fail to recognize that something significant is happening. Around these parts, and by these parts I mean my family, this time of year tends to become a bit hectic.  The kids’ school work continues to increase in complexity as more is expected of them. Projects are assigned, displays and presentations are  prepared. Zane just completed his Second Grade biography project.  He chose Gandhi. Yeah, Gandhi. The rubric suggested that the children include 3 or 4 interesting facts about the person as well as things like are they... More About: Moment
Now That We Have That All Cleared Up
2010-02-22 19:25:00 Zoë: Dad, what’s for dinner? Me: You’re sitting right next to it. I told you that you’d see it again. I made a nod towards the bag from Panera. The bag from Panera containing the uneaten portions of sandwiches and soup that were left over from lunch. The kids had begged for something to eat and were beside themselves with excitement when we stopped to pick up the soup and sandwiches. They ate practically nothing. Zia, whom I thought was sleeping, chimed up from the back seat: Well, in my world again means tomorrow! (We had spaghetti.) comment. share. peace.
The Melancholy of Monochrome
2010-02-17 18:19:00 Time away does not necessarily equate to time productively expended. Words have been tacked up less than frequently of late leading one to believe that I may have used that energy in a more useful manner. This is not the case. The allure of winter wonder has all but faded. The varying degrees of contrasting shades of white and gray have grown monotonous. Sky gives way to barren landscapes. The lines are blurred.  They are all vying for the same colors and the palate is as monochrome as it is cold. The pilot light of a boiler 60 years past it’s prime provides singularly the warm hues I seek yet thoughts of it’s ceaseless activity, it’s constant labor, do little to provide the warmth I so desperately need. There are drafts everywhere. Small children are incapable of appreciating the value of sealed entryways. The occupants in my head have grown as restless as those in my home, confined for too long in spaces that are small.  And confining. Such is the ...
Contrast
2010-02-11 03:35:00 Red on White There have been times where I’ve seen 15-20 of these guys (male and female) waiting turns to get at the bird feeder. Thing about cardinals is that they tend to be a bit camera shy and it was way too cold out for me to keep standing motionless waiting on the herd to return. (I know it’s a flock.) Anyway, I just love the contrast of the brilliant red of these birds with the stark white of snow and barren trees of winter. It’s day 41 of my go at project 365…… That’s all I really have to say about that. I’ve yet to glean any great wisdoms or similar life altering knowledge from the experience. You can see all of the pictures to date at the three six five page (the link is also at the top) or by heading straight over to my flickr 365 set. (By the way–full disclosure time. The above photo was cropped. To my knowledge, there is no 365 rule about cropping of photos. Or crappy photos for that matter–good thing... More About: Contrast
I Think My Calender Stopped
2010-02-05 03:15:00 It should be later. But it’s not. It feels later. Not hours. Days. Like maybe Sunday. But I’d be watching football. Not sitting here. Wondering. Why the week isn’t through. comment. share. peace.
Raising the Bar–A Tale of Two Raccoons
2010-02-02 18:47:00 Maybe it’s the magnitude of deeply significant events. Could be my complete lack of mental capacity. Maybe I’m finally manifesting the negative consequences of poor choices at an earlier age. Or maybe I’m just forgetful. The raccoons, Zander and Zella, turned four years old yesterday. Four. Years.  Old!  Customarily on each childs’ birthday we recount the day of their birth. The details surrounding how each child came screaming into the world. The kids love it, so much so that the stories are often repeated throughout the year. I should be able to recount the twins’ birth with ease. A multiple birth after having been through multiple births should stand out. And yet I have great difficulty doing just that. I can recall insignificant, peripheral type things. Like the paramedic student that had asked permission to observe the birth. I had told the guy, “sure.” Only to have him turned away at the door by the nurse....
A Year in the Life--Album Style
2008-07-16 19:14:00 Inspiration comes. Sometimes it doesn't. When it doesn't, I have found a nifty little trick is to steal from those in the blogging community. OK. stealing is bad. I'm borrowing, drawing inspiration, building upon the foundations that have been laid before me. I got this from Mr. Big Dubya who apparently got it from Jason who got it from a website he appreciates. You see, it's not really theft if the original dudes all get their due credit, right? Kind of like it ain't plagiarism if I put a footnote. Anyway, the rules of this little exercise are pretty simple: pick your favorite album (or what would have been your favorite, had you been of age) from every year of your life. I fudged this just a tad. Although I would like to think of myself as someone with a very eclectic taste in music (no rap--no country--a guy has to have boundaries), my wife would argue that my tastes are pretty mainstream and ho-hum at b... More About: Life , Style , Album , Year
Dan and His Lunatic Fringe
2008-07-14 17:44:00 He doesn't appear to be backing down. He mentioned quite some time ago that he was going to do this. Quite some time ago, it was safe to boast of this as quite some time should pass and our memories would fail us. Yet he has reminded us of his claims, an ever present gnat buzzing always just beyond the swatter. At times, his voice has been soft, like a whisper. Other times, loud and booming. He just couldn't let it go. And now, the time has come. It is as they say time to put up or shut up. I think a more commonly known allegorical reference may have something to do with moving one's bowels or vacating the porcelain seat but since this is a family friendly place, I shan't make such references.Dan and his mates, ten of them I believe, maybe just seven. Could be just Dan. I'm not really sure who has committed but they all should be committed for even suggesting such lunacy. You see, Dan and his mates are about to e... More About: Fringe
Sunday Sonnets--Waking in a Dream
2008-07-13 06:26:00 There's something to be said for Sleep Late Sunday s. The kids anticipate it's arrival almost as eagerly as I. A lazy day with no schedule. No practices or agendas. Just sleep in and go where the day leads us. We normally begin our day with my now world famous from scratch pancakes. It's kind of morphed into a whole experience. The kids will often help with the ingredients and pancake mixing. Sausage sizzles and the aroma of freshly brewed coffee lifts everyone's spirits. Jazz plays softly in the background. It has become one of my favorite family experiences. Ah yes. Sleep Late Sunday. Today's Sunday Sonnet (penned just moments ago) was inspired by the unexpected. I really slept in this morning. It felt good.Waking in a Dream Something surreal about sleeping in,Like waking in a time warp, groggy.Stumbling towards the bedroom doorHesitant, unsure of what lies beyond.It's quiet. Did th...
Manly Validation
2008-07-11 07:56:00 I have spent the better part of this morning begrudgingly sorting through and folding the mounds--literally mounds--of clean laundry. I readily admit that folding and putting away said folded laundry is far down my list of things I enjoy doing each day. Truth be told, it's not even on the list, unless that list would be the list of things I absolutely despise doing but I do anyway because it's in the job description that I, like a fool, failed to read before signing up for this gig.I came to a few realizations this morning, First, my wife was right (how many times you gonna hear that, Honey?). My obsession with kids wearing socks during the summer has got to stop. I despise folding the whitewash and socks just add to that pile. The kids don't keep a pair of socks on for a full day anyway. If they do make it through the day, they are so full of dirt and grime that there is not a washer or detergent made that will ever sufficiently clean th... More About: Roses , Laundry , Validation , Weeds , Manly
Best Day---EVER!!
2008-07-09 22:00:00 Every day above ground is a good day. My mom used to tell me that. Of course, she also used to tell me that Brussels Sprouts were good for you and that sour kraut would put hair on my chest. What did she know? Today marks the fifteen thousand six hundred and ninety fifth day (that's 15,695 days or 301 dog years) that I have spent atop this little orb. It truly is a good day. Maybe the best day ever!I may also be celebrating on the 14th in honor of my mom.. That's Bastille Day but for some reason my mom always got my birthday mixed up with the French holiday. Seems like every year the 10th would roll by and I had no cake or presents, not even well wishes. Then on the 14th---SURPRISE!! I can't remember the last time she got it right. Funny, the things that hold memories. Today is my birthday. Now let's go eat some cake!
I Smell a Coup
2008-07-08 05:04:00 Quiet moments. Solitude . A good cup of coffee. These things make me happy. These things are seldom found in my household. Except for the coffee. That's always here. My mother-in-law might tend to disagree with me on the coffee, she thinks I make it too strong. I prefer the term bold. Then again, she prefers Instant so I don't really count her as a credible critic.This morning I was enjoying a rare hat trick--quiet, solitude and coffee. My wife had to be at work early and woke me to braid her hair. That's right. I braid my wife's hair. What's more, I do it well enough that she entrusts her golden locks to my groggy hands before she heads out of the door to face a discerning world. I'm a man of many facets. In fact, later today I'll be painting my daughter's fingernails. Welcome to Salon de Ed. Back to the hat trick.Unable to return to sleep, I made my way downstairs for... More About: Coup , Smell
Whew! Do Not Go In There!
2008-07-01 06:03:00 There's something to be said for a good purge every once in a while. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not condoning bulimia here. Or any other self destructive means of dealing with severe body dismorphic disorder. Maybe purge is not a good metaphor. How about there's something to be said for a big fat steamy one every once in a while. Wait, I suppose that, too could fall into the whole eating disorder realm what with laxative abuse and what not. The point I'm laboring to make here is that my mind is a bit cluttered and I feel the need to release some of the incongruent tangents. The fragments of thought processes that lead nowhere and are basically taking up space in my head. Great! Now I've added--find a metaphor for purging the random thoughts in my head without appearing to condone body dismorphia--to the list. If someone has a better metaphor, please help me.1) My gutters need cleaned. No metaphor here.&nb... More About: Babble
Sunday Sonnets--A Refreshing Shower
2008-06-28 22:00:00 My kids get frightened during thunderstorms. The lightning startles them and the claps of thunder elicit screams. I could watch it rain all night. I love the way night time is broken by momentary flashes of brilliant white light and I could listen to the rolling thunder on an endless replay loop. Rain drops on a metal surface somehow soothe me. And nothing compares to the exhilaration of watching a storm cross a body of water making its way to the screened porch where you safely can absorb it's power and beauty. It rained last Wednesday night. A good rain, hard with plenty of lightning and rolling thunder. I sat, alone in my living room as the family slept and I enjoyed every bit of it. Images of my youth flashed with each bolt of lightning and the booming thunder turned the pages as I watched the storm. And I listened. It was pretty cool.This week's Sunday Sonnet was inspired by last Wednesday's thunderstorm.A Refr... More About: Shower , Thunderstorms
Still Jammin--a Repost
2008-06-28 05:39:00 Dad! We're all up. Come on!Coffee.Da-aadd!Zoë, I need coffee.I've got to admire her spunk. For some crazy reason we look forward to this weekend all year long. Comfest. The name says it all, doesn't it? What? It doesn't? How about Community Festival? Better? As far as Zoë is concerned, anything that deems itself worthy of the name festival demands her presence. The girl likes to party!And so it shall be. We are preparing ourselves this morning for the 8th consecutive trek to Comfest. Damn the weather reports. There's a festival happening out there and we're off to be festive. I'll let you know how it goes. Until then, why don't you read about last year's Comfest. Rather than link it (I know, we get lazy and hate to click a link) I'll just repost. Enjoy, and hope your weekend is as festive as ours.Jam On, You Hippie Freaks! (originally posted June 24, 2007)The s... More About: Festivals
Move Along, People. Move Along.
2008-06-26 03:55:00 It's been a while since I've ushered you guys away from here. I don't like to do it for a number of reasons. First, I'm not very good at self promotion. Oh, I've done it but it's uncomfortable and not really who I am. I prefer that people come here to see what my children have done and the crazy spin I may have been able to put on their daily adventures. I don't sell anything and there are no ads to click on my blog. There was a time and I'm not saying there won't be again, but for now I like it this way. I like the fact that if you come to me you get me. Not a pitch. I truly appreciate every one who takes of their time to visit here and even more so, leave a comment. I think people in the blog world call it validation. Me? I just enjoy your company. I really, really do.That being said, I'm gonna send you away today. Over to Quirkee.com. You may have noticed the link in the sidebar referrin... More About: People , Move
Every Once in a While.....
2008-06-25 04:06:00 Stop it, Naer. (That's how Zella refers to her twin brother, Zander. Naer. It's pronounced something like NAIR but with more of an emphasis on an e sound as opposed to what the short i does to air. Nay-er with less of a y. Try it. Naer. Naer. Oh forget it. By the time you figure out how she does it she will have mastered the next phonetic phase in her development and the word will be lost forever.)Stop it Naer.I wan dat. I WAN daaatt!!Naer, no!!! (Crying ensues and more arguing. More words are exchanged but quite honestly it's hard enough to decipher when they are speaking without tears and whining.)There's no real point to the argument. Is there ever really when two year olds are involved? I suppose my point in relaying is that the scene above is repeated daily at least three or four times, often more but seldom less. It would seem that I am forever engaged in a struggle to keep the peace ...
Don't Drink the Water
2008-06-24 11:11:00 Boys will be boys. How many times have I heard or used that phrase in my lifetime? Exponentially more so as a parent. Little boys like mud, bugs, animals, teasing little girls, sports, tackling things, kicking things---the list goes on. Just yesterday Zoë ran into the house to let me know about the mouse in the yard. They had tried in vain to get Ariel, the cat, interested in chasing the thing but she wouldn't. The mouse was just sitting there.I came outside just in time to stop Zane's outstretched arm from picking up the--not mouse but--huge rat that somehow found it's way into the yard and had decided to park itself under the bird feeder as it was providing a ready source of food. Dear Lord, Zane! Don't grab that! That thing will gnaw your arm off! It was huge! Half the size of Ariel. No wonder she wasn't interested. She was scared to death!Suffice it to say that Mr. Rat has supped for the las... More About: Drink , Water
Sunday Sonnets
More articles from this author:2008-06-21 19:30:00 In an effort to stimulate stagnating brain cells and hopefully spawn some creativity, I am working on a little thing I think I shall call SUNDAY SONNETS. Essentially, Sunday Sonnets will be a brief collection, quite random, of events or happenings around here in a loose verse form. And no, I will not adhere to the truest definition of a sonnet as being a verse or song of 14 lines of iambic pentameter. I'm not a poet--hell, I'm not even a writer--but then again you already know that, don't you. My initial offering, though not labeled as such, would have to be last week's "That'll Teach Em".This week's Sonnet addresses the ever dwindling rodent population around Casa de Ed. For discussion purposes let's just assume that rabbits are rodents, OK? I'm a dad not a zoologist. Though zoo keeper would not be too far from an apt job description.RODENTS BEWARE Rodents, beware.Though extremely cute and cuddly, your safetyCan not be as... More About: Dogs , Cats 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 |
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