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Mall Life, Not For These Geese...
2007-04-12 20:21:00
So, I'm driving home today in my stinking Grand Caravan.  I'm really not bitter.  It's a great family car and my kids love it.  It's just that exactly 10 years ago I bought a sweet little Miata.  I remember having gone out that morning to get a haircut, cruised by the dealership just to look, and low and behold, five hours later and with $900 less in my bank account drove home in a new Miata.  The deal clincher was that my golf clubs actually fit in the trunk.  That's all it took.  Sold! To the sucker that needs a haircut.  But that's really another story altogether.Today, I'm on my way home having completed some last minute errands for the Easter Bunny.  I'm on a very busy boulevard that runs past the mall.  Four lanes on each side.  Loads of traffic.  I round a corner and come very close to broadsiding a woman in an SUV which had turned itself across three of the four lanes and come to a complete stop.&n...
More About: Life , Mall , These , Gees

Easter....Check. Now Moving on.....
2007-04-12 20:19:00
Only 258 shopping days until Christmas. Now that East er can officially be counted as over, it's as good a time as any to shift our focus.  The wonderful promise of Easter morning just two days past still has my kids buzzing.  The morning was filled praises and singing of hymns all proclaiming the joyous return of...The Easter Bunny.  That fuzzy, pink do gooder might as well have proclaimed himself the Messiah.  As far as they were concerned--he's Easter.  Oh, we went to church.  It's part of the requirements to make oneself elligible to partake in the Easter Bunny's Bounty.  My son probably got more out of the service than most in our family.  It is truly amazing the number and quality of questions that a four year old can generate from one picture of the crucifixion.  He went deep.  Really deep.  At one point my head was pounding so from the theological discussion he initiated that I resorted to distraction tactics.&nb...
More About: Moving , Check , Ving

You want to do what?!
2007-04-05 01:05:00
I'm not really sure how it all happened. This, I do remember. December 31, 1996. 11:57 pm. The nursing staff of the ER had gathered in the casting room with a bottle of Welch's Sparkling Juice(dude, we were at work and it was a Children's Hospital) in anticipation of the impending arrival of the New Year. I was on my way to Room 21 to administer a milk and molasses enema to Kolon, an ER regular, a kid with Hirschprung's Disease that for reasons I shall never be able to explain, decided that 1997 should start with a cleansing. I learned early on in my nursing career that essential work gear includes: a good watch with a second hand or timer, a really good stethoscope, comfortable shoes and extra scrubs for every shift. After a quick sink bath and changing into my extra scrubs, I finally was able to meet up with my fellow workers in the casting room. The Welch's was gone and there were only a few crumbs left from the plate of cookies someone had thoughtfully...
More About: Want , To Do

Security Level is Back to Code Yellow
2007-04-05 01:04:00
I have a splitting headache.  It's 9:30 pm and I've just gotten the kids to bed.  I could really use one of those Grey Goose martinis that I gave up five months ago.  It was supposed to have been "sleep late Sunday."  It's the one day of the week that there are no soccer practices, no piano lessons, swim lessons, gymnastics lessons.  No shuttleing kids back and forth to kindergarden and preschool.  One day to just sleep in and enjoy doing nothing.  My kids have yet to appreciate the value of "sleep late Sunday."  Their general philosophy on the whole circadian rhythm sleep wake cycle is very basic.  If the sun is up, it's morning time and we get out of bed.  Simple.This morning I was awakened to the announcement, "Dad, Z fell down the stairs."  In my pre-caffeine stupor all I could muster as a response was, "How many?"  "All of them," came the reply.  I was now fully awake and rushing down the stairs only to f...
More About: Security , Code , Back , Yellow , Yell

God bless Thomas Crapper...
2007-04-05 01:04:00
O.K. So he didn't really invent the toilet.  That credit is given to some guy named J.F. Brondel.  Crap per was responsible for at least 9 various plumbing patents that no doubt make something we take for granted every day not much more than an afterthought.  That is, until that little porcelain budda becomes our soul mate.  I never get sick, never.  I'm not bragging here just stating a fact.  Maybe I had built up enough antibodies with the constant barrage of exposures that come with being an ER nurse that I was rendered immune. Or maybe I never get out of my house and have reduced my exposure threat to practically zero.  Whatever the reason, the last 24 hours have just put all that haughty talk to bed.I am recovering from the bug of all bugs.  I suppose those in the medical profession would call it  gastroenteritis.  I prefer the more politically correct stomach flu.  It hit me in the middle of the night.  My w...
More About: Thomas , Less , Thom , Rapper