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The afternoon edition.....
2008-01-30 10:45:00
I grew up in Louisiana.  Yeah, it used to get really cold in the winter time.  This one time, I recall it got so cold that our grass turned brown for two whole months.  Some of the leaves even fell from our trees.  I had to rake them.  Almost filled an entire bag.  That was one long winter.  One morning, it was so cold that I actually had to put on shoes to go outside and get the morning paper for my mom.  OK.  You got me.  We had an afternoon paper in our little town.  Only years later as the town began to grow did the paper change its distribution time to morning.  I kind of liked the afternoon route.  I remember once there was an extraordinary picture of a UFO on the front page of the paper.  Being that it was an afternoon paper and our parents were still slaving away at the old salt mill, as were every other kids parents in the neighborhood, and we had never seen proof positive in our local paper or anywhere e...
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Babble.....
2008-01-24 01:50:00
I'm not sure what I dislike more, the total feeling of helplessness I feel when I am consumed by the inability to articulate the thoughts in my head or memes.  Somehow they both tend to fester in the recesses of my mind rotting there until released from their stagnating pools of decaying gray matter.  Either way, what eventually emerges is usually babble and not nearly worth the time I have invested in them.  I suppose it's a process, a learning process and I should appreciate the lessons.  Like Castor Oil, it's good for me, and though I can't immediately see that, I shouldn't be dismissive.  No, I haven't been tagged as they say.  I did , however, read a very interesting meme by Darren over at Clare's Dad the other day and it kind of stuck in my head.  It basically uses the songs on your iPod to answer a series of questions.  I had no intentions of completing the meme but the very first question gave me a very cool answer and before lo...
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On this day seven years ago.....
2008-01-18 23:18:00
This entry is adapted from the entry I placed in Zoë's baby book.  Today is her seventh birthday and I felt it was appropriate to post it.  Please bear with me as I tell the story of my daughter to....my daughter.You arrived triumphantly into this world 7 years ago today at 3:54pm but your story actually begins much earlier.  I was working the night shift and was unwinding after a long shift when your mother arrived home having pulled an all nighter herself and announced, "Come upstairs.  Quickly.  I'm ovulating."  What happened next....well, that's a whole other story for some other time.  Let's just suffice it to say that on that early morning of May in the year 2000 your story really began.I remember the morning your mother announced your impending arrival.  She suggested we take a short vacation in January.  Hey, it's cold in Middle America in the winter so I was all for it.  Then she suggested our resort stay as a hospital ...
More About: Birthday , Years

Carpe diem.....
2008-01-15 00:36:00
 .......As you complete the poster, have fun!!  Remember, this is your chance to show the other children in the class just how special your child is.  We are looking forward to learning more about our Star of the Week....... or some words to that effect.  Zoë has been selected to be the Star of the Week in her classroom.  Our weekend assignment was to complete a poster that was chock full of information that would be relayed to the other children providing them valuable insight into just exactly who Zoë really is.  You know, burning type questions that you always wanted to ask but were afraid.  Favorite color---PINK.Favorite food---MAC AND CHEESE.Favorite movie---THE LITTLE MERMAID.I know, I know.  You are sitting there as you read this mouth agape and a feeling a numbness is starting to set in.  These questions went deep, really deep and exposed the very core of my precious 6 soon to be 7 year old little girl.  Hard hitting, no hold...
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Take a bow.....
2008-01-08 23:50:00
The warm water tumbled over my shoulders, soothing, calming, satisfying.If I could smell, I feel certain the lavender bubbles now scrubbing the grime from by body would have gone straight to my brain adding to the euphoria quickly consuming me.As it was, it just felt good to be getting clean,  so good I added a shave.Yep.  There's nothing like a good shower to revitalize and invigorate tired, sore and smelly muscles.Over all to soon, I stepped onto the warm tile floor and reached for my towel.At this very moment the cheering began.Zia, Zander and Zella rose from their seats on the window ledge and stood atop the box radiatorarms raised triumphantly with shouts of "Hooray for Daddy.""Thanks, guys.  Now......can I have my towel?""Not until you take a bow," replied Zia.Suddenly, I felt dirty again.  *note to self--FIX THE LOCK ON THE BATHROOM DOOR!
More About: Modesty

2008, The Year in Review.....
2008-01-07 01:29:00
 Dude.  2008 was a brutal year, the likes of which I am happy to say is behind me.  Come on 2009!What?It's only just begun?You have got to be kidding me!  For all intents and purposes January was scheduled to start with a bang.  The first (Jan 1) is our wedding anniversary.  I may have mentioned something about that in a previous post.  Anyway, we learned early on in our married life that unless Cracker Barrel is your idea of the perfect setting for a romantic anniversary dinner, you're not going out to eat on New Year s Day.  Nothing is open.   New Year's Eve, by default, has become the night for celebrating our years of wedded bliss as well as ringing in the new year.   It's our little way of multi tasking.  The restaurant was fantastic and the food delicious.  We lingered, maybe a bit too long for the New Year was greeted cordially during a pause in the conversation during our drive home.  Yeah, we ushered i...
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Y2K+8
2007-12-30 01:23:00
So.....would you do it again?  I despise the question.  First off, the question centers around a point or issue that is for every practical purpose mute.  Unless of course, H.G. Wells' Time Machine was not just a science fiction novella but in all actuality the genius blueprint for actual time travel.  Bear in mind we are talking about life decisions here.  If I decide in a momentary lapse of reason to ride the twist til I puke whirly bird spinning teacup of death at the county fair and by some act of God himself am able to step off of said ride without puking and someone asks, "So...would you do it again?" Well, then I can see how "would you do it again?" may be a fair question.  If you are actually asking me to repeat something I am fully capable of repeating then sure, ask away.  All's fair.  If, however, you pose the question as it relates to some decision I have made during the course of my lifetime that has obviously affected my curren...
More About: New Year

The wisdom of Linus.....
2007-12-24 10:32:00
It's easy to become so totally absorbed in the holiday season that we lose focus, the ability to just step back for a minute or two and ask ourselves why are we doing all of this?  Bows, ribbons, packages, cards, lights, trees, family get togethers, Christmas carols and music programs.......Really?  What's our motivation?  What's it all about? Thank you, Linus Van Pelt.God Bless and Merry Christmas to you and yours from me and mine.  Here's to a year of promise, prosperity and peace.See ya in January!
More About: Wisdom

The downward spiral.....
2007-12-20 02:40:00
If you, like me, fear you may have peaked just a tad too early this Christmas season I offer this.  Levity.  For me, it seems to put things back into perspective.  Brings things into focus.  Enjoy.  And remember, there's only six days left.

Llella did disss.....
2007-12-10 08:16:00
The life of a parent is filled with tiny moments of joy, moments that seem to validate your parental efforts.  We've even given these events a name, a moniker.  Developmental Milestones.  I should be happy for today I witnessed the passing of yet another mile marker.  No, I'm still buying Pampers.  I know the good folks over there are giving each other high fives about that.  And no, the twins have not learned to dress themselves although Zander is getting very good at pulling his pants down.  More words? Complete sentences?  Not really.  They are adding new words and sounds every day but it's so subtle and gradual that it's really hard to consider this a milestone.  So what is it?, you ask.  What have they learned to do?  And why aren't you happy?Today, the twins drank from a cup.  That's right!  Totally unaided and on their own accord they chose today as the breakout day.  They used the small Dixie cu...

The Christmas Gala.....
2007-12-09 00:39:00
 There are many who prepare for December all year long, starting December 26th of the previous year with the after Christmas and return sales, picking up odds and ends on weekends throughout the year, diligently socking away an extra ten or twenty here and there for the Christmas fund.  For these careful planners, come December it's all over save the wrapping.  I hate these people!  The litany of items on my list of things to get done before Christmas for some odd reason does not seem to be growing appreciably smaller.  Oh, I've been able to cross off a few items: we put up the tree, the Christmas cards are sent, I got the lights up on the house.  (OK so they were still up there from last year but I had to replace a strand and...and...well, that's it.)  Oooh. Today I bought wrapping paper and some ribbon.  No.  I haven't bought any presents yet but when I do, I've got the paper.  Of course, I forgot to get tape.  I'm not m...
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What are you thinking.....
2007-12-05 20:49:00
On a typical day I am barraged with countless questions, some pertinent others totally insignificant, statements, some declarative, some observational some hypothetical, sounds, ticks, screams, whispers and silences....and that's just from the voices in my own head.  Couple that with the voices of five children, only three of whom actually possess any understandable form of the English language.  The twins, God bless them, understand language they just don't use it.  I spend quite a bit of each day engaged in a bizarre game of charades in an attempt to decipher their impassioned yet incomprehensible mutterings.  "I know!!  You said Llellow.  But that means nothing to me and you are pointing towards an empty wall.  Why are you saying Llellow and why are you so mad at that wall??!!  Zoë, please help me.  What is your brother trying to say?""Dad.  He wants to change his shoes.  He also said that he drew you a picture but couldn'...
More About: Pod , Reading , Randomness , Thinking

the ChristmasCast.......
2007-12-02 00:55:00
 OK.  So it's not the quintessential Christmas Playlist.  But unless your heart is two sizes too small.....it's sure to brighten your Christmas spirits.     &nb sp;      &n bsp;      & nbsp;               ;      &nbs p;      &nb sp;      &n bsp;     1.  ;  Hark the Herald Angels Sing  ---  Bryan Duncan 2.   Please Come Home for Christmas  ---  B.B. King 3.   Little Drummer Boy (Grinch Mix)  ---  Jars of Clay 4.   O Tannenbaum  ---  Stanley Clark, George Duke, Everette Happ 5.   O Little Town of Bethlehem  ---  Nat King Cole 6.   Winter Wonderland  ---  Dave Koz&nbs...
More About: Christmas Music

I'm not 15 anymore.....
2007-11-27 00:51:00
Thanksgiving 2007 and the morning after--or the way I remember it.The alarm sounded at 7:00am.  The pain started at 7:00am and 10 seconds.  "My God, what have I done?  Why on Earth would I do that?  What was I thinking?!"  My head was pounding.  Every ounce of my body was in pain.  I literally had to will myself to move from the bed to the bathroom just 15 feet away.  Seriously, I could actually feel the synapses relaying the messages to the muscle fibers in my legs forcing an awkward unsightly limp towards the cold porcelain god of relief patiently awaiting my arrival.   There was no relief.  I looked elsewhere.  The shower.  That's the ticket.  Hot, steaming and pulsating streams of reinvigorating water.  It was not to be.  Hot, steaming and pulsating are three terms I have yet to associate with any hotel shower and today would be no different.  So what is this self-inflicted poison coursing thro...
More About: Family , Kids , Thanksgiving

The Prophet, the Plumber and Flossie
2007-11-19 09:19:00
 It's a pilgrimage, a ritual of sorts.  Every afternoon we dutifully line up our cars, park in the designated areas of the cramped little lot to the side of the schoolyard, unbuckle  and unstrap our little ones and lead them like ducklings into the commons.  Patiently we wait making idle small talk with one another as we try to keep our ducklings corralled and orderly.  The bell sounds and in moments the commons is bustling with screaming and excited kids eager to relay the events of the school day to their parents.  OK.  So maybe not eager.  Zoë is only six and has already mastered the one word descriptors.  How was your day?Fine.  (sometimes to change things up a bit I'll get--good)What did you learn today?Nothing.  (occasionally--I don't remember)Actually, we're moving away from the Nothing as an acceptable answer.  I told Zoë after one too many of the them that we were paying entirely too much money for her to spend...
More About: Kids , Prophet , The Prophet , Nostradamus , Floss

What was Ben thinking?!.....
2007-11-15 02:03:00
The man was clearly genius, forward thinking and ahead of his time. To read his biography is dizzying. One is struck with the impression after scanning just a short list of his accomplishments that one lifetime is not enough. America's first library, our first fire station, our first hospital, instrumental in the formation of two colleges. He was a publisher, an author, an inventor, a politician, a musician, an ambassador. He was also crazy as a loon! OK. That is my little addition to the biography of one of America's founding fathers. It's not true. But he did have some wild opinions on all manner of things. Check out the book Fart Proudly: Writings of Benjamin Franklin You Never Read in School if you don't believe me. It's great stuff and provides some interesting insights into the wit of the man we generally regard as genius. As the holiday season approaches, I am reminded of a bit of useless trivia regarding Mr. Franklin. In a letter to his daughter he made known his di...
More About: Thinking

Zoë has a free spirit.....
2007-11-13 08:20:00
Zoë has a free spirit.  Not my words.  OK.  I have used these exact words and the exact phrase to describe my daughter to someone who is meeting her for the first time, someone who might not be prepared for the Zoë Experience.  I?ve used the phrase as a precautionary preamble in baby sitters? instructions, as forward to an apology, in defense of disruptive public behavior and more often than any other, as a reminder to myself that my firstborn is truly a special gift sent by God to teach me what the joy of Heaven is really all about.But, this time, I did not use the phrase or the words.  No.  These are the words from Zoë?s teacher as relayed on her very first 1rst grade report card.  My wife and I absolutely love Zoë?s teacher!  She has a youthful exuberance and excitement about teaching and it shows.  Not an easy task for someone who has been teaching first and second graders for 17 years.  She and Zoë have quickly become thick as t...
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Extra, Extra. Read all about.......
2007-11-08 09:59:00
....Me!!! That's right blog fan (no, I did not forget to pluralize that) I am a headliner.  A good friend of mine.....umm, a buddy of mine.....no, wait...a  guy I met in a bar....actually, he's one of the blogs I read regularly and has begun a series of interviews of at-home-dads.  For some strange reason, he chose to interview me.  You can read all about it at Quirkee.com, an award-winning humor and entertainment online publication (Issue #74:  November 8, 2007).  You owe it to yourself to check it out.  I mean, check me out. Then stick around and check out more of Quirkee or head over to James' blog, Daddyshack.  All time well spent, I assure you.  Then come back and let me know what you think.
More About: Read , Extra , Headline News

Rub some dirt on it.....
2007-11-05 10:45:00
The screaming was unmistakable.  Real pain.  Hurt.  This is a scream that requires immediate attention.  Drop whatever it is you are doing and tend to this.  How did I know?  As a parent, you just know, we all know.  It's a skill we have acquired not by design but rather, experience.  For better or worse, it's how our children communicate with us.  For any of you without children, here's a brief rundown of some of the basic screams you might happen to encounter in a given day and their associated literal translation.         ;      &nbs p;      &nb sp;      &n bsp;      & nbsp;               ;      &nbs p;      &nb sp;      &n bsp;  ...
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So, he said yes......
2007-10-27 01:35:00
For some reason, I feel it necessary to update my readers on an earlier post.  Last month, you may remember that Zoë and Zane wrote a letter to the President of the United States.  It was a simple, childlike (they are just six and five years old respectively) yet impassioned plea for an end to the war in Iraq.  If you haven't read the post, please take a minute to catch yourself up.  You can find it here.  Go ahead.  I'll wait.To date, the war in Iraq has totaled over 3,800 military deaths and by some counts upwards of 75,000 civilian casualties since the initial invasion in 2003.  Couple that with the almost untold numbers of military and civilian wounded and injured and the numbers seem unfathomable.  This war has affected every single person in this country directly or indirectly.  There are no six degrees of separation here.  Everyone I know either has a family member, neighbor, friend, or acquaintance that has in some way been...

Shhhhh!!....
2007-10-25 08:31:00
So I took the twins to the library this morning.  I would love to tell you that everyone greeted me like Norm from cheers as I entered the lobby but that just wasn't the case.  I'd love to tell you that at the ripe old age of 21 months--why do we do that?  Twenty one months.  Not quite two but way more advanced than one.  I guess with infants and toddlers, months are simply a better indicator of a child's true age and what is expected of them.  Developmental Milestones I believe is the appropriate term.   There are so many characteristics that come into play with each advancing month that it's just easier to give the month time line.  That way, I suppose, it makes it easier for other parents to compare their children to yours and in that vein keep their noses ever so slightly tilted upward as they silently exalt themselves on the fine job they have done with their offspring in comparison to your challenged lot.  But I digress.  I...
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It could have been worse......
2007-10-21 00:52:00
 So I woke up yesterday morning and saw this.....     I think I'm going to need a bigger saw!  

Shout it out.....
2007-10-15 08:49:00
"Dad, you're doing it again.  Dad.....Daaaadd!!  You're talking to yourself again.""Oh.  Sorry, Zoë.  Was that out loud?""Yes, Dad.  What are you talking about?""Nothing, Zoë.  I was just thinking about something.  Don't worry about it."I can not beging to tell you how many times during the course of a normal day I find myself taking pause to consider something I have just said or thought.  Ninety percent of the time it's benign stuff that any of us would be thinking throughout the course of the day--the cat gave me that look again, I need to pick up some food...don't forget to get some gas for the mower, the lawn's looking a bit shabby and the neighbors are starting to stare...that's your last square of Charmin buddy, get some tp when you get the cat food...I wore this t-shirt yesterday...it's OK, you didn't go anywhere, you're the only one that knows...did I turn off the iron?...OK.  So that last one has never been an iss...
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A little perspective.....
2007-10-08 10:32:00
?It is true, I never assisted the sun materially in his rising, but doubt not, it was of the last importance only to be present at it?  Henry David Thoreau It's Monday but it could be worse.  Here's to hoping the sun rises wherever you are today.
More About: Perspective , Litt

Is this what Dawkins meant?.....
2007-10-05 00:26:00
The term meme (it's pronounced like dream or cream) was coined by Richard Dawkins , Professor of the Public Understanding of Science at Oxford University, in his 1976 book The Selfish Gene. Memes are habits, skills, songs, stories, or any other kind of information that is copied from person to person. As examples he suggested ?tunes, ideas, catch-phrases, clothes fashions, ways of making pots or of building arches?. Memes, like genes, are replicators. That is, they are information that is copied with variation and selection. Because only some of the variants survive, memes (and hence human cultures) evolve. Memes are copied by imitation, teaching and other methods, and they compete for space in our memories and for the chance to be copied again. Large groups of memes that are copied and passed on together are called co-adapted meme complexes, or memeplexes. The word ?meme? has recently been included in the Oxford English Dictionary where it is defined as follows ?meme (mi:m), n. Bi...

Allow me to introduce you.......
2007-09-19 01:36:00
The leaves have started in an ever so subtle way to change their colors and break free from the branches that have sustained their tiny lives since the spring when they blossomed forth.  No longer are my children able to walk silently through the yard as now leaves crunch loudly beneath their feet.  OK, so my kids, to the best of my recollection, have never walked silently through the yard.  Remember that scene in Stripes when the platoon is running like banshees through the woods as they tackle the confidence course.  That is my kids in the yard at all times.  The piles of leaves grow larger with each passing day. Happens every year.  I love this time of year for the inevitable changing of the season is not only visible, but it is audible and tangible.  You can even smell fall in the air as the cooler air undoubtedly spurs the weekend bonfires and burning leaf piles.  Yes, the season is changing and with summer's passing I am also able to jo...
More About: Happy Birthday , Allo

I'm gonna send a letter.....
2007-09-14 13:47:00
So I am on my way to the post office to mail a letter.  Seems pretty insignificant, right?  Well, in the grand scheme of things it probably is but I'm gonna do it anyway.  You see, I grew up in the era of the letter.  If someone wronged you in any way, send a letter. You're not happy with the local tv station because during a commercial break of your kids favorite Winnie the Pooh cartoon they had the audacity to air a douche advertisement and now your precious tot is scarred for life?  Send a letter.  You didn't like the way you were treated at Che Snobs?  Send a letter.  The guy at the service station, you know the one, seems familiar like you went to grade school together but can't recall seeing him in high school. It's because he was never there.  He spent his formative years hanging out behind the Tic Toc smoking weed laughing at all of the idiots wiling away their days slaving in the man's schoolhouse.  Well, now he's sec...
More About: Iraq , Letter , Hope , Gonna

It's a sad day.....
2007-09-04 07:52:00
"It's a sad day....."I will never forget my brother's account of the origin of that phrase as relayed to him by our mother upon his arrival home from work one evening.  As he walked into the living room where she always sat, upright with her hands folded ever so properly in her lap he could tell that something was troubling her.  The house was in slight disarray but nothing so out of proportion as to be cause for great alarm.  Yet she looked distraught, clearly ill at ease and almost mournful.  Had she lost something, someone?  One of the cats or the dog?  Had she received some sort of bad news from one of her bridge buddies?  Did someone die?  What could possibly be going on?  "What is it?" he almost regretted asking."There's not a cookie in the house."I'm not even sure if he remembers the story but for some reason it stuck with me and I have used the phrase often, quite often.  My mother was completely serious in both the meani...

Tis' the season.....
2007-08-27 08:42:00
Tis the season to be jolly, fa la la la la....la la la la!  It's the most wonderful time of the year..it's the hap--happiest season of all!  Oh, you better watch out, you better not cry.  Why?  Because THERE'S NO CRYING IN FOOTBALL!!!  That's right, people.  In case you haven't noticed or have been unfortunately locked away in a cellar deprived of any means of communication with the outside world, football season is upon us.  Am I a fan?  Well, I don't bleed purple and gold, I don't have season tickets, I've never bought the all access season cable pass for the low, low price of $495 bowl games, halftime specials and overtimes not included. Your favorite team is probably subject to blackouts but pay anyway and you can watch The Tennesse Valley Inter City Squad scrimmage practices unless of course you live in Tennesee and wish to see that team because they will then have to be blacked out also...and I have actually mowed the yard on gam...
More About: Family Time , Season , Seas

Teach a child to fish.....
2007-08-16 00:35:00
My grandfather was a saint.  I am convinced that he had to be.  I can't say as I recall too many theological discussions with the man, nor do I ever recall hearing him pray.  Oh, he went to church every Sunday and always had a little something in his pocket when the offering plate was passed his way but to actually call the man religious I think might be stretching things just a tad.  I do seem to recall on more than one occasion where he invoked the name of the lord, but I think that was usually due to something my brother and I had done to elicit his heavenly pleas.  No, my reasons for believing in his canonization are entirely different.  He taught me how to fish. There were very few things in his life after my grandmother and golf that he enjoyed more than fishing.  He was old school, too.  A little fourteen foot aluminum boat with a 3 horsepower Johnson outboard motor and live bait, either minnows or crickets, sometimes worms, and a can...
More About: Fish , Child , Teac