Funny Pics And VideosFunny Pics And VideosThis blog is an effort to collect some funny things related to life... Articles
What Kind Of Farter You Are?
2007-05-28 11:36:00 *Vain: You love the smell of your own farts.*Amiable: You love the smell of other people's farts.*Proud: You think your farts are exceptionally fine.*Shy: You release silent farts and then blush.*Impudent: You boldly fart out loud and then laugh.*Unfortunate: You try really hard to fart, but you poop instead.*Scientific: You fart regularly but you're concerned about pollution.*Nervous: You stop in the middle of your fart.*Honest: You admit that you farted but offer good medical reasons.*Dishonest: You fart and then blame the dog.*Foolish: You suppress your farts for hours.*Thrifty: You always keep a couple of good farts in reserve.*Anti-Social: When the need arises, you excuse yourself from the room and fart in private.*Strategic: You fart and then conceal it with loud coughing.*Sadistic: You fart in bed and then pull the cover up over your partner's head.*Intellectual: You can determine from the smell of any fart exactly what food item had been consumed.*Athletic: You fart at th... More About: Fart
Four Sophomores
2007-05-26 12:43:00 At Duke University, there were four sophomores taking Organic Chemistry. They did so well on all the quizzes, mid-terms, and labs, etc., that each had an "A" for the semester.These four friends were so confident that the weekend before finals, they decided to drive up to Charlottesville to the University of Virginia and party with some friends up there. They had a great time. However, after all the hard partying, they slept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Duke until early Monday morning. Rather than taking the final then, they decided to find their professor after the final and explain to him why they missed it. They explained that they had gone to UVA for the weekend with the plan to come back in time to study, but, unfortunately, they had a flat tire on the way back, didn't have a spare, and couldn't get help for a long time. As a result, they missed the final.The Professor thought it over and then agreed they could make up the final the following day. The guys were e...
Spare Some Change
2007-05-26 08:52:00 dogstrampbegging More About: Change , Spar , Chang , Chan , Some
Just Smile
2007-05-25 15:11:00 How does a man show he's planning for the future?He buys two cases of beer instead of one.~~~~~How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?Three - one to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.~~~~~How many men does it take to wallpaper a bathroom?Three, if you slice them very thinly.~~~~~What are a woman's four favorite animals?A mink in the closet, a Jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bedroom, and a Jackass to pay for it all.~~~~~What did God say after creating man?I can do so much better.~~~~~What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift to women?Exchange him.~~~~~What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man?His wife is good at picking out clothes.~~~~~What should you give a man who has everything?A woman to show him how to work it.~~~~~What's a man's idea of a romantic evening?A candlelit football stadium.~~~~~What's the best way to kill a man?Put a naked blonde and a six-pack in front of him. Then tell him to ... More About: Smile
The Sins of Three Nuns
2007-05-24 13:52:00 There are three nuns and a Mother Superior. The Mother Superior tells the three nuns that before they can receive their Saint name they had one final test. She told them to go commit one sin so that they would not have urges to be bad.After the three nuns return, the Mother Superior says, "Did you commit your sins?" They all shake their heads yes. The first two nuns are crying, the third is giggling.The Mother Superior says to the first one, "What sin did you commit child?"The first nun answers with tears in her eyes. "I was just rotten, I picked flowers from someone's garden."The Mother Superior says, "Go drink the Holy Water and it will be alright." The third nun is dancing around in laughter.The Mother Superior asks the second one. Her whole body is shaking and she is crying. "I stole candy from a baby."The Mother Superior says, "My child, drink the Holy Water and you are forgiven.The third nun falls on the floor hysterically laughing. The Mother Superior is disgusted and asks, ... More About: Sins , Three
The Perks of Being 40 & Over
2007-05-23 14:48:00 *Kidnappers are not very interested in you.*In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.*No one expects you to run into a burning building.*People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.*There is nothing left to learn the hard way.*Things you buy now won't wear out.*You can eat dinner at 4 PM.*You can live without sex but not without glasses.*You enjoy hearing arguments about pension plans.*You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.*You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.*You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.*You sing along with elevator music.*Your eyes won't get much worse.*Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.*Your joints are a more accurate meteorologist than the national weather service.*Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.*Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.funny jokesjokesold age More About: Bein , Being , Perks
Qn & Ar
2007-05-17 15:17:00 Q: Why do women have smaller feet then men?A: So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.Q: Why do men pass more gas than women do?A: Because women don't shut up long enough to build up pressure.Q: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, which do you let in first?A: The dog of course. At least he'll shut up after you let him in.funny jokesjokes
Words Women Use
2007-05-16 08:53:00 Vocabulary Lesson For Men:Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means "something" and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with '"Nothing" usually end in "Fine."Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.Loud Sigh: This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing."That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.Thanks: A woman is thankin... More About: Women , Words
Top 10 Things Only Women Understand
2007-05-15 08:25:00 10. Cats' facial expressions.9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.7. Fat clothes.6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.5. The difference between beige, off-white, and eggshell.4. Cutting your bangs to make them grow.3. Eyelash curlers.2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.AND, the Number One thing...1. Other women.girlwifewomanjokes More About: Women , Things , Only , Thing , Understand
Never Go For Dieting
2007-05-14 14:43:00 bikinidietingmodelmodelling More About: Ever , Dieting , Never
Love Principles
2007-05-14 13:17:00 Romance MathematicsSmart man + smart woman = romanceSmart man + dumb woman = affairDumb man + smart woman = marriageDumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy~~~~~Shopping MathsA man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.~~~~~General Equations & Statistics*A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.*A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.*A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.*A successful woman is one who can find such a man.~~~~~HappinessTo be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.~~~~~LongevityMarried men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.~~~~~MemoryAny married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.~~~~~Propensity To ChangeA woman marries a man expecting he wil... More About: Love , Principles
Kidnapping
2007-05-13 13:02:00 There was this blonde who needed money badly. She then decides to kidnap a little boy. She finds a boy then she brings him to the playground, She explains to him that she has kidnapped him for money, then she writes a ransom note saying that she has kidnapped their son and she demanding $10,000 cash. She wants it in a brown paper bag under the pear tree in the park, The blonde signs the letter THE BLONDE!! She then pins the letter to the boys chest and sends him home...The next day the blonde goes to the pear tree to find the brown bag under the tree with the $10,000 in it with a note that reads... How could you do this sort of thing to a fellow Blonde??!!blondekidnappingjokes More About: Kidnapping , Ping
Finally Uncomfortable
2007-05-12 16:16:00 beautifulblondeboobsbroken More About: Finally , Fort , Fina , Ally , Comfort
Men Prefer Dogs Over Women
2007-05-12 10:08:00 Few reasons why men prefer dogs over women:Dogs love it when your friends come over.Dogs don't care if you use their shampoo.Dogs think you sing great.Dogs don't cry.Dogs don't expect you to call when you are running late.The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you.Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.Dogs are excited by rough play.Dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away.Dogs love red meat.Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair.Anyone can get a good-looking dog.If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.Dogs don't shop.Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.A dog's disposition stays the same all month long.Dogs never need to examine the relationship.A dog's parents never visit.Dogs love long car trips.Dogs understand that all animals smaller than dogs were made to be hunted.Dogs like beer.No dog ever bought a Kenny G or Hootie & the Blowfish album.No dog eve... More About: Women , Over , Refer
Pregnancy Humour
2007-05-11 10:19:00 Pregnancy Questions & Answers:Q: Should I have a baby after 35?A: No, 35 children is enough.Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?A: Childbirth.Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?A: Yes, pregnancy.Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?A: When the kids are in college.humourpregnancywoman More About: Humour , Pregnancy , Humo
Fallen In Love
2007-05-07 14:10:00 A young man excitedly tells his mother that he's fallen in love and going to get married. He says, "Just for fun, Ma, I'm going to bring over three women and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry."The mother agrees.The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while. He then says, "Okay, Ma, guess which one I'm going to marry."She immediately replies, "The one in the middle.""That's amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you know?""I don't like her." More About: Love , Fallen , Allen , Fall
Kids & Condoms
2007-05-07 13:43:00 A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year-old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?"To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms, son. Men use them to have safe sex.""Oh I see.", replied the boy pensively. "Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school." He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and ask, "Why are there 3 in this package?"The dad replies, "Those are for high-school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday and one for Sunday.""Cool!" says the boy. He notices a 6-pack and asks "Then who are these for?""Those are for college men", the dad answers, "TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday and TWO for Sunday.""WOW!" exclaimed the boy;" Then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a 12-pack.With a sigh, the dad replied, "Those are for married men, One for January, one for February, one for March..."kidscondoms More About: Kids , Condoms
Adam In The Garden Of Eden
2007-05-06 13:34:00 One day, Adam sat outside the Garden of Eden shortly after eating the apple, and wondered about men and women. So looking up to the heavens he says, "Excuse me God, can I ask you a few questions?"God replied, "Go on Adam, but be quick. I have a world to create."So Adam says," When you created Eve, why did You make her body so curvy and tender unlike mine?""I did that, Adam, so that you could love her.""Oh, well then, why did You give her long, shiny, beautiful hair, and not me?""I did that Adam so that you could love her.""Oh, well then, why did You make her so stupid? Certainly not so that I could love her?""Well Adam, No. I did that so that she could love you." More About: In The Garden , Garden Of Eden
Just Divorced
More articles from this author:2007-05-05 14:26:00 A ninety-year-old couple decide to get a divorce. They go to the judge and say, "Judge, we want a divorce."The judge says, "You've been married 70 years and now you want to get a divorce? Why did you wait so long?"The couple say in unison, "Well, we wanted to wait until the kids were dead."~~~~~We were very happily married for eight months.Unfortunately, we were married for ten years!~~~~~At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."~~~~~A guy slices his ball in the woods and goes in to look for it. He meets a girl from the next fairway looking for her ball. They start to chat and have a wonderful little conversation. She suddenly says to him, " You know... you look like my third husband."He says, "Oh yeah?", and then asks her how many times she's been married."Twice," she replies.~~~~I must admit, you brought religion in my life.I never believed in Hell until I ... More About: Divo 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 |
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