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Articles: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

A week Off
2008-02-18 06:34:00
For reasons totally within my control I have decided not to post a new chapter this week, the current chapter will continue next week as rescheduled. I have poured my heart and soul into this novel and dedicated hours of my time, all I ask is to be read. But as the hit counter claims this website only get on average 10 hits a day, taking into account the number of spam comments I receive that could quickly disappear into 3 or 4. I have posted almost 16 chapters which makes this novelog 4 or 5 months old, the question I ask myself is this: Is it worth it? Should I keep on doing this?  If no one is reading then what is the point, I should just print it and throw it on the shelf or even better into a garbage pale, that way it will be where it belongs. If you have read this far then you are a dedicated reader and I appreciate that, what I want from you is a comment, let me know if you have read this blog novel and how far you have gotten, let me know, with pure honest (even negativity ...
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post 5
2008-02-15 12:15:00
After the favourites hall there was an exhibit called ?Lines.? Every piece consisted of at least one line, how original. The art was nothing spectacular, but such is life, especially when it comes to something as subjective as art. You can?t make all the people happy all the time. I noticed a collection of gawkers ...
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post 4
2008-02-14 12:14:00
Walking down the street with the large volcanic box in my hands it became quieter as I came closer to the gallery. Opening a door and walking in, almost instantly an employee tells me, ?You?re going to have to check your box.? I?d just spent hundreds of dollars and was already giving it away; I ...
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post 3
2008-02-13 12:13:00
Next morning I asked mom, ?Can I drive the car to the subway station?? She asked why, I fibbed and she said, ?Sure.? It was Sunday so she didn?t need the car anyways. After driving to the station I grabbed the subway and headed downtown. The trip took well over 40 minutes and most of ...
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post 2
2008-02-12 12:12:00
This year I’d be cutting lawns, trimming edges and doing general property maintenance; however most of the day would be spent driving from house to house. It was a monotones cycle; drive, mow, drive, mow, drive, and mow. I quickly developed resentment and found it excruciatingly boring, but wait, I have more to complain about. It was also the summer, so it was incredibly hot and even worse; the two people I worked with were extremely dry. It’s too bad I never thought to smoke a joint while I was working; it would have made the days a hell of a lot more enjoyable, I wasn’t driving after all. Come to think of it, it would have been great. Whoever said drugs and work don’t mix must not have had a boring job. One day while driving in heavy traffic the driver, my supervisor, closed his eyes for a moment and took his foot off the break. Our half-ton truck rolled forward and rear ended the Cavalier in front of us. Incidentally, the truck was spotless while the car was crushed to ha...
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post 1
2008-02-11 12:11:00
Before The school year was coming to an end and it was time to find a summer job. I didn’t have to look very far as I still had a job from the summer before. Being a hard worker and the only employee to stay until the end of the summer, my boss had become fond of me. Giving him a call, he instantly offered me my old job back and said, “Just give me a call when you’re back in town and we’ll set up a meeting.” With that I was finished my job search; wow, five minutes, quickest search ever. Of course this wasn’t necessarily a good thing, it was just what happened. Looking for a job the previous summer, this was the best I could get. I didn’t really like it because it took up far too much time, which made it difficult to do anything other than work most days. My day would start at 6 am and usually wouldn’t end till around 6 pm; that didn’t include commuting back and forth. It was a full day’s work and the money was good; the wage wasn’t great but all the hours made...
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post 5
2008-02-08 12:02:00
A few days later I got the call, my job shadowing was next week. I had to meet ?Mark? at 9 am a few towns away. The day arrived and I was told to dress presentable; presentable to one is not to another. I arrived at the KFC parking lot in a leather jacket, a ...
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post 4
2008-02-07 12:01:00
It had been almost a week and I hadn?t received a call, I was becoming a little anxious as I was going away. The next week was spring break, my family and I went to Mexico. When we came back there was a message on my cell phone; listening I discovered I had been invited ...
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post 3
2008-02-06 11:57:00
The next day I woke up and looked out the window; it had rained during the night and being cold, it froze leaving an icy covering over the car. Showering, eating and getting dressed, I headed outside to clear the ice; it was going to take a while. After almost 20 minutes the car was ...
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post 2
2008-02-05 11:56:00
After the call I rushed downstairs to tell my mother about the opportunity; she was more excited then I was. Parents always want what?s best for their children but that usually seems to involve a job. She asked a few questions and quickly knew everything I knew, which wasn?t much. She asked, ?Did you apply ...
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post 1
2008-02-04 11:27:00
Now I was sitting in my room, wondering what I should do with my life. It seemed like just yesterday that I had had that conversation with my father about responsibility and working hard to achieve my goals. But what was my goal? What was I trying to achieve? At that moment my cell phone rang; ...
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post 5
2008-02-01 10:56:00
Fiona and I ended up ?dating? again, this time it only lasted a week. I liked the physical part of the relationship but Fiona had too much emotional baggage. It was too stressful and I couldn?t handle it, so I ended the relationship again. A clean break in the first place would have avoided all ...
More About: Post , Madison

post 4
2008-01-31 10:55:00
Later that day I wanted to see Fiona, so I gave her a call. Since we weren’t a couple anymore Later in the evening Fiona showed up; we headed to the grocery store to pick up some candy, we both loved chocolate. Back at the house we headed downstairs, I cut up some weed, filling the pipe and we went into the bathroom. Fiona was a light weight; she hadn’t smoked in a year, not needing much I would have to smoke the rest. I could tell she was high; she’d loosened up and spent most of the time gazing at me. After I finished smoking the weed, I turned on the fan and we left the bathroom. I moved my bed to the desk so we could use the computer for entertainment. At that moment Madison came online and sent me a message; I told her what was happening. She didn’t seem upset about what I had said earlier. We ended up talking for 20 minutes and I ignored Fiona; she was pissed but wouldn’t say anything about it. Fiona stayed the night; she was too stoned to drive. She had a hot body a...
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post 3
2008-01-30 10:53:00
We decided to meet up on a Friday night; our rendezvous point was the fountain again. Madison asked “Want to stop by the LCBO and grab some alcohol?” I had had fun the last time, she was nice and this felt safe so I said, “Yeah, let?s go.” We both picked up beer; I grabbed ...
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post 2
2008-01-29 10:52:00
She lived close by so we walked; talking along the way, we passed two major intersections, then she pointed, ?That?s my house.? She lived on the bottom floor of a three story house, there were multiple apartments in the building and she shared hers with another girl. The apartment was cosy and consisted of two ...
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part 1
2008-01-28 09:50:00
One of my housemates told me about CampusKiss, an online dating site; checking it out I discovered it was a quite fun, this was before the days of Facebook. While searching the site I came across a cute girl whose profile seemed quite interesting. She had blond hair and blue eyes like Fiona, but looked ...
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post 10
2008-01-25 11:12:00
At home mom asked how the appointment went; she asked, ?What did the doctor have to say?? So I laid it on her. “She said from what she could tell I?m alright.” I went on, “She asked if I thought I needed anti-depressants and I said no.” I could tell that this gave her some ...
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post 9
2008-01-24 11:11:00
The doctor asked a few more questions unrelated to my self medication, then asked if I needed anti-depressants. Considering what I knew, I said, “I don?t want to take them, I’ve heard a lot of bad stories about them. Plus, I don?t think I need them.” She went on. ?You can try them of you ...
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post 8
2008-01-23 11:09:00
My mother was still concerned about my depression; she suggested that I see a doctor. Instead of waiting for me to take action, she made an appointment with our family doctor. After she made the appointment she called me and asked if I could come home early the next weekend. I agreed, returning home Thursday ...
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post 7
2008-01-22 11:08:00
When I smoked weed millions of ideas would flow through my mind, original ideas that I had never thought of before; things to do, jobs to pursue and places to travel. After Saint Patrick?s Day, Fiona and I started to see each other again, a mistake right off the bat. I would often tell David about ...
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post 6
2008-01-21 11:05:00
After the initial appointment I didn?t feel like I needed to go back again, I was feeling better overall; it was a neutral feeling, better then the depression of the past. I was starting to realize more and more that the world wasn?t as bad as I?d initially thought. During this time, I realized that since ...
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post 5
2008-01-18 08:47:00
I?m introduced to Karen, a middle aged overweight woman dressed extremely casually. Her shelves are filled with self help books, she must like them. The meeting starts low queue, she asks some basic information. How many people are in my family? Do I have siblings? How about my parents? I tell her what she wants ...
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post 4
2008-01-17 08:45:00
In the time leading up to the appointment life went about normally; I noticed I wasn?t feeling as depressed anymore. I was in a constant state of neutrality, an improvement, but not a recovery. Fiona and I ended up making plans for Saint Patrick?s Day; my housemates were all going to the school pub and Lisa ...
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post 3
2008-01-16 08:44:00
Days later I decided to search the school?s website to find information about any services provided for my situation. I came across a web page that outlined the opportunities provided by the universities counselling services. There were plenty of options, psychologists, counselors, group sessions, anger management, and suicide prevention; any mental help you needed, they ...
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post 2
2008-01-15 08:43:00
Later that night after I’d been dropped off mom called; she was concerned and wanted to do something to help, so she asked more questions. I was reluctant to say much; I didn’t have answers and I didn’t feel comfortable talking to her about it. It wasn’t that we didn’t have a relationship or couldn’t talk; this was different, it was private and I didn’t want to tell her about it. She asked, “Does your school have counsellors or psychologists you can talk to?” Hesitating for a moment, not knowing the answer I said, “I don’t know? Probably, the University has lots of services for students.” Mom liked the sound of this possibility; there was help available, something to alleviate the problem. Sounding relieved, she said, “You should find out and set up an appointment. Talking to someone will help.” Thinking about what she said, it seemed like a good idea, but depressed people, or maybe just me, don’t want their problems to be resolv...
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post 1
2008-01-14 08:41:00
With existentialism in mind I realized that I needed to start choosing not to be depressed; it seemed to work as I was already feeling better. Life had changed in that I no longer wanted to die, but there was still lots of room for improvement. ‘Nothing worth having comes easily’ is what ‘they’ say. Who are ‘they’ anyways? The first thing I needed to work on was my lines of communication, so I decided to tell my mother. I’d been home for the weekend and on the drive back to school I decided to let it slip. “Mom, I feel sad and empty most of the time. I don’t know why and it won’t go away.” I had caught her off guard and she didn’t know what to say, so she asked “When does it start? That would be the cause, there is always a cause.” I thought for a moment, but not hard enough as I couldn’t come up with anything to say, it seemed to just happen. Leaving class I would be sad, wake up and go upstairs I’d be sad. It happened randoml...
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post 10
2008-01-11 09:58:00
I eventually reached my family; they were seated in the same place they had been when I left; there was still an empty seat for me. I walked toward it and sat down; pulling the latch from the back I laid it flat and took a nap. After finishing dinner, it was almost 9 o’clock and ...
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post 9
2008-01-10 08:56:00
I was much too high to interact with my family; I needed a little time to come down. Figuring I?d be obvious I decided to walk around the resort for a while. I wanted to experience the high, knowing that setting played an important role. I wanted to avoid all awkwardness and potential for a ...
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post 8
2008-01-09 08:52:00
I was feeling altered and more aware of everything around me. I thought for a moment, ‘this must be perfect ’set and setting’.’ My mind was calm, calmer than usual and I felt no need to move, I was speechless. There were lots of words flowing through my mind, but I couldn’t say any of them, I was too in awe of the moment. I wanted to sit still and take it all in. After a few minutes Chris said, “I’ve got to go back to my family, they’ll be wondering where I am.” “True, I should go too.” Chris stood up, opening the sliding glass door and stepped into the cool air conditioned room. I followed behind and closed the door. A new setting, it wasn’t as bright and the temperature had changed, there wasn’t much going on aside from the spinning of the ceiling fan. Looking at the time it was 3 pm, I watched as Chris opened the drawer that he had pulled the ‘Bob Marley papers’ from; this time he pulled out Clear Eyes. Looking into the mirror...
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post 7
2008-01-08 08:50:00
We sat down on two chairs. Chris pulled a fancy torch lighter out of his pocket and burnt off the end of the joint, placed it against his lips, lighted it again and inhaled. After a moment he exhaled and the blue smoke flowed past his lips, rising up into the cloudless sky. I could ...
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