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Articles: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

Hot Blooded Pirate Karaoke Goes Arwy
2007-12-01 07:49:00
A brawl broke out in a local tavern when two pirates from the notorious Hot Blooded Banshee crew began fighting over a dispute about the lyrics of "Dead Man's Chest" during karaoke night. The bartender didn't see anything when it started because his good eye was facing away from the pirates, be he heard two pirates yelling, one saying "Drink and the devil had done for the rest" and the other "Drink and the devil had done for the best." read more
More About: Pirate , Karaoke , Irate

An Evening on a Dock in Tortuga
2007-11-29 08:14:00
A small boy was walking along the sea in Tortuga one evening. He saw a man sitting at the end of one of the docks. Curious, as small boys can be, he walked up to the man. Suddenly the man started to talk excitedly to himself and move about. The man raised his hand up to reveal a hook! read more
More About: Dock , Evening

Idiosyncracy and Intrepidity - Part 5
2007-11-26 06:24:00
Since warning the planet of the impending collision over normal communications seemed to be getting nowhere, I decided to try something else. I knew I had to do something, since the asteroid was technically 'mine,' if it destroyed a planet, it might result in a negative mark on my record. Now, for those of you who are reading that have not been a frequent traveler in the intergalactic Places, you might not appreciate how bad having negative marks on your record can be. First there are different kinds of negative marks. read more
More About: Part

Advice from the Prose: Purfume
2007-11-21 07:44:00
Have you ever walked by someone with so much perfume or spray on cologne that you practically pass out from asphyxiation? Then this post is for you, and the person who wears excessive amounts of those airborne nostril nauseating sprays. Now, most anyone will agree, that they would rather be around people who smell nice, and not like a reeking fiend from the unspeakable depths. The problem is, if you wear too much perfume, yes, you may not smell like armpit, but you have about the same effect as nerve gas. Use small amounts. read more
More About: Advice , Prose

Robot Comic - 1
2007-11-18 17:12:00
This was my second comic. I found the robots didn't show up to well, so I didn't make many more with them. I should paint them.
More About: Comic , Robot

Pirate Comic - 1
2007-11-18 17:10:00
This is the first comic I did. I'll be migrating them all over to the Space Turtle. Bear with me as I get it to work right.
More About: Comic , Pirate , Irate

Advance into the Unknown
2007-11-18 02:43:00
Heavy guns clicked as they are checked for the sixth, seventh, and eighth time. Small arms and hand grenades clink together as they are arranged and adjusted on suits of heavy armor. Anticipation, dread, exhilaration, fear, promise, despair, hope, all these drift through the recycled air of the drop ship as heavy boots tap the steel grated floor. read more
More About: Unknown , Vance

A Pale White Horse
2007-11-12 06:17:00
It is the evening, that part of the day when the setting sun paints a think layer of dark orange on the sky. A sliver of the moon intrudes into the setting suns space and hovers in the middle of the sky. The air is warm and drifting slowly across the plains over sparse plants standing like a room full of people who don't know anyone else. Walking against the breeze is a horse. He has a meandering gait and pokes his nose at the introverted plants as it passes by. His mane is long and gray and stands out darkly against the pale white of the his hair. His tail swats sloppily at a random insect. read more
More About: White , Pale , Horse

New Post Types Activated
2007-11-11 09:13:00
Now you can visit a page that lists the different kinds of posts I make by using the Post Types menu to the lift.
More About: Activa

Real News: Lego Art
2007-11-11 02:19:00
This might be old news for some, but I just found this really amazing Lego Art. digg_url = 'http://thebeandom.com/spaceturtle/?q=leg oart'; digg_title = 'Amazing Lego ARt'; digg_bodytext = 'Might be old news for some, but I just found this.'; digg_topic = 'offbeat_news';
More About: News , Real

Idiosyncracy and Intrepidity - Part 4
2007-11-10 06:44:00
I cannot fully describe what it is to travel through a wormhole. The best way to describe it would be to say that it is a lot like getting sucked through the fabric of space into another dimension, and spit out the other end. This of course will mean nothing to someone who has never done such, so I shall instead use simpler terms. The best way I can explain it to you would be to say it is a lot like a headache, but it doesn?t so much hurt as it feels like your head is about to explode then implode all at the same time. While this happens, your arms and legs stretch every which way and contort. Your stomach feels like it is being filled with ice cold molten lava and also feels like there are small amphibians swimming inside. In short, we had to stop for an analgesic when we came out. Once all my body parts felt like they read more
More About: Part

Story: Rubber Bands and Memory
2007-11-06 04:40:00
Snap. The rubber band hits my wrist. The doctor says I'm nervous. I say helps me focus on something. My home is gone, my family and friends are gone, my memories are gone, I have nothing left. I don't remember the tragedy very well. Just flashes of screams and shards of fire and shouts of crumbling rocks. Snap. They gave me a mirror. A little round one that turns over. If I look in one side, everything is normal. If I look in the other, everything is magnified. It doesn't matter though. When I see myself close up, or distantly, I see no one I can remember. There is nothing. Snap. They are taking me outside read more
More About: Story , Memory , Bands , Rubber

Concrete and Conjury - Part 3
2007-11-02 18:21:00
Martin walked down the path and out of the park and onto the busy streets, the towering buildings starting to reflect the late morning sunlight. Martin stopped in at a nearby coffee shop and bought a new mug and had it filled with a sugar-filled mocha with extra whip cream. When he walked back outside, he got that distinct feeling of being followed. He was getting a bit tired of all the excitement. It wasn't even noon yet and his day was totally out of sorts. He glanced around to see who was around. He saw businessmen in suits, some on cell phones. read more
More About: Part , Part 3 , Concrete

Costumes To Avoid and Where to Avoid Them.
2007-10-30 05:03:00
This year, when making your costume to gallivant about and hassle people out of their candy with threats of tricks like T.P.ing or egging houses, remember to avoid the following costumes: Don't dress up as candy, little kids might eat you. Don't make a mask that looks like the guys on the bulletin boards at the post office. If in California, don't wear a costume that uses flame. Don't dress up as a water bottle in Georgia, people might beat you up and try to use you to water their lawn. read more
More About: Costumes , Avoid

The New Con
2007-10-26 07:59:00
This weekend in the Miskatonic River Valley, Massachusetts a new convention is about to hit the scene. This wont be your typical con, like an anime con, or a comic con with people dressed as ninjas and superheroes, this convention is targeted for those with a special interest in the recently released graphic novelized version of the Necronomicon. The convention planners are expecting much color and flair in the costumes of the convention goers. They speak of untold costumes such as the Mad Arab" Abdul Alhazred, Mi-go, Deep Ones, and read more

The Ultimate Website
2007-10-23 08:06:00
A new website has hit the information super highway in 6th fear. Complete with everything any web surfer could ask for, this new site will blow your socks, not only off, but into little air balloons that float away into the sky. Browsing the web will never be the same. It already gets more hits that mySpace and Facebook combined! See it here. digg_url = 'http://thebeandom.com/spaceturtle/?q=uws '; digg_title = 'The Ultimate Website '; digg_bodytext = ''; digg_topic = 'offbeat_news'; read more

New Educational Game Causes Concern.
2007-10-21 06:07:00
A new educational software has come out that has some parents overjoyed, and others concerned. The game is called Grand Theft: Oregon Trail. Its goal is to teach children about the historic journey pioneers made across the United States to settle Oregon, while trying to keep pace with the edgy, fast paced games that children are used too. "We wanted to provide am educational atmosphere while still being fun and exciting," said one of the game's developers. read more
More About: Educational , Game , Duca , L Game

Concrete and Conjury - Part 2
2007-10-19 08:08:00
Martin stopped, looking into the trees, trying to determine who was calling his name. The voice was hard to place. It sounded unlike any other voice. Not inhuman, but it changed constantly, as if it was many different people talking at once, but not over each other. Cautiously, Martin stepped into the trees, following the voice. The more he listened, the more he noticed that he wasn't so much as hearing the voice as he was thinking it. He was about ready to just shake it off and leave when he found himself in a clearing, with read more
More About: Part , Concrete

Cuisine: New Ice Cream
2007-10-18 06:20:00
A new ice cream is in the works. It was thought up by a internet food web-blog hosting company called Bloggin Daz. They will have several flavors, such as read more
More About: Ice Cream , Cuisine , Cream , Sine

Techoilluminati!
2007-10-16 07:28:00
The Space Turtle now has a Technorati Profile! It's not quite like being part of the Illuminati, but maybe it's close?
More About: Mina , Lumi

Idiosyncracy and Intrepidity - Part 3
2007-10-16 07:13:00
Now I shall tell of the time when I learned that when traveling through space, possibly more so when on an extraordinary and interstellar space turtle, that everything you come across is not always good. Most times I came across someone or something it was perhaps a stellar merchant, a honeymooning nebula ant couple, or such stated instances of a noteworthy and expensive asteroid. This following tale is about when I traversed across the path of something ghastly and terrible. read more
More About: Part , Part 3

Horror: Whippoorwills Going Deaf.
2007-10-14 06:36:00
Arkham, Mass. Citizens have been reporting that the local population of whippoorwills is becoming hard of hearing and read more
More About: Horror , Going , Goin

Science: Scientists Make New Discoveries on the Size of Space.
2007-10-14 06:15:00
Today, scientists discovered that space is big. Really big. digg_url = 'http://thebeandom.com/spaceturtle/?q=big space'; digg_title = 'Science : Scientists Make New Discoveries on the Size of Space .'; digg_bodytext = 'Not really news, is it?'; digg_topic = 'offbeat_news';

Cuisine: How to Make Fast Food Stir Fry
2007-10-13 07:25:00
Want Stir Fry, but all you can find is a greasy fast food burger joint and all the supermarkets are closed? Worry not! Today we will show you how to make most any fast food restaurant a stir fry into a prime stir fry ambrosia palace! First, get a portable hot plate and pan. Go to the burger place and read more
More About: Food , Fast Food , Cuisine , Make , Fast

Port News: Parrot Cheats At Cards, Captain Mourns its Passing.
2007-10-12 08:11:00
Captain Carl Shark of the Pirate Ship Fortune's Hand was a gambling man who seemed to for years be very lucky at cards. No other pirates accused him of cheating (Pirates cheat by default), but many refused to play him at cards. But today, he mourns the passing of his parrot. His parrot, named Tarot, had been taught by a gypsy how to read the moods and mannerisms of people. Carl used the parrot to get an excellent idea of the kinds of hands his opponents had by having hid bird communicate to him with special signals made by read more
More About: News , Port , Cheats , Parrot , Cards

This news is better!
2007-10-12 07:52:00
Here is why you should read the news on The Space Turtle, and ignore that real stuff: Click Here digg_url = 'http://thebeandom.com/spaceturtle/?q=bet ternews'; digg_title = 'Why The Space Turtle News is Better.'; digg_bodytext = 'Local news? Who needs it. Read The Space Turtle'; digg_topic = 'offbeat_news';

Idiosyncracy and Intrepidity - Part 2
2007-10-11 08:29:00
In the middle? Start at Part 1 I suppose you may be wondering just why I?m traveling through space on a giant turtle (an extraordinary and interstellar turtle of course). Well, you know how the turtle and I met (else you are reading this tale out of it?s elegant and delicately aligned sequence), but how I got to that point is an interesting tale. That tale though, is for another time. It is still too fresh upon my mind and the sadness it brings is still too great. The story I will tell now is not a sad one so do not fret for me. You might think traveling through the black of space is very boring. For the most part, read more

Bad Keys
2007-10-11 03:43:00
Ever have the F wear off your Shift key? That's a bit of a drag, huh? digg_url = 'http://thebeandom.com/spaceturtle/?q=bad key'; digg_title = 'Keyboard gone evil?'; digg_bodytext = 'Has your keyboard ever done this?'; digg_topic = 'offbeat_news';
More About: Keys

Crazy Supermarket Adventure
2007-10-10 05:24:00
Today I went to the almost local supermarket. I was expecting everything to go as normal, just go in and get a few things, cheese and whatnot, then pay, and leave. What I didn't expect was the salmon. Not the salmon in the fishy section, but the one that flew right at my head. It wasn't large, and it wasn't frozen, but it still stung quite a bit. It hit me on the side of my head as it spun around, little bits of fish flavored watered spraying everywhere sliding off the scales. read more
More About: Adventure , Crazy , Supermarket , Advent

Concrete and Conjury - Part 1
2007-10-09 07:50:00
The computer screen lit up as Martin moved the mouse as he stood by the chair holding a coffee mug, trying to clear his mind from from a night of troubled sleep. The email notifier popped onto screen, saying he had one new message. He opened it, stared for a few moments. Then sat down, placing his mug by the keyboard. The message said: You can see them. They are all around you. Do you know why? It is for the same reason you are beginning to be able to do things no one should be able to do. If you want to know more, click here. read more
More About: Part , Concrete