The Space Turtle

RSS Feed Homepage

Articles: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

Memory Remembered
2008-06-01 07:43:00
The wizard Tatch was forgetting things. He knew that the books and papers were around somewhere, but his memory was fading and his azure spire held so many bookshelves and so many books, without remembering exactly where they were, he simply had little hope of finding them. He had known this day might come, the day when he would start forgetting things, but it came far sooner than was expected. Some wizards who knew many spells and had used a great deal of magic would begin to lose their memory. Some wizards had forgotten everything quickly, but some were able to keep going for a long time, but slowly their mind would vanish, bit by bit. Tatch had begun researching a spell that would prevent this memory loss, or possibly even reverse it. The problem was, he had already begun to lose his memory before he began researching. In the process of trying to discover what was needed for the spell, Tatch had discovered some other helpful spells, such as a spell that increased learning ability...
More About: Memory

Drop Kick
2008-05-27 04:29:00
When zombies showed up, many argued fears came true. If a zombie grabbed bare flesh, they could tear the flesh apart. The zombies carried a disease that would weaken flesh they touched, but when it infected someone, it would take over the body, strengthening it. Fire did nothing, bullet wounds healed fast. But then, reality hit. When the martial artists retaliated with full coverage body suits, the zombies didn't stand a chance against their fury. Fighters snuck up on the fast zombies, quietly killing them. Then, using great martial speed, the slow zombie mobs got drop kicked, one by one.
More About: Kick , Drop

Shamble
2008-05-25 18:48:00
The lights dim, the judges watch. His feet move at a lumbering pace across the stage, arms swaying to the music. On queue to the sounds, his head turned towards the audience with a hungry stare. He stretches his arms as the music rises , bowing down low as the music slows. The beat quickening, his arms undulate uncannily, producing a cheer from the crowd. Music moving to a heavy beat, at each hard pump of the bass he moves with a lurching forward gait. Phone in voter, he may be the next winner of So You Think You Can Shamble.

TechPark Haiku
2008-05-13 04:07:00
Movies and Music Reviewed for us one and all So you in the know This haiku was made for TechPark who posted a stunning review of The Space Turtle. And how!
More About: Haiku

Taken Into Account
2008-05-11 23:55:00
Tak tak tak, the keyboard clicks in the office as Kamster crunches the numbers. As the numbers crunch, a few tiny numerical crumbs fall off the screen and fall into the keyboard next to the bits of cookie and sub sandwich bread underneath the keys. His boss and hands him a sheet of paper. Kamster glances at it. This project he is working on if due in an hour for a meeting and he will have to worry about the paper later, so he puts it on top of the inbox mattress, tucking it in under the edges. At the meeting, Kamster loads up the data in a power point presentation. Two wizards crash into the room and start battling for control of the power point for several minutes before Kamster gets their attention that this isn't the kind of power point they are looking for. The meeting gets back underway, late, and it would have started on time. Halfway through the presentation a manager arrives late and causes an uproar when he sat on the chairman in his haste. The chairman rebuked the manage...
More About: Account

Meta: Social Spark
2008-04-29 05:17:00
A few days ago, I signed up The Space Turtle for Social Spark . It is a similar system to the PayPerPost system that I am also a part of, but it has a lot more too it. One feature I like and have already used is the Spark System. This allows for people to post ideas of topics to write about. I used it to post a chance to write about The Space Turtle on a blog, then I would write a story for that blogger. A few have done this and you may have already read the stories I wrote for them. This creative process is great to get a little bit of exposure as well and give a little something in return, and anything to get me an idea to write a story around is fantastic. Hopefully this will allow for more creative posting, including various items and links inside stories as the central point to the story. Current readers will already know how I do this and hopefully appreciate how it sparks me to find something to write about as well as helping keep The Space Turtle afloat. Another thing I am e...
More About: Meta

The Killer Coder
2008-04-24 04:41:00
The cursor glowed on the screen in the dark room, blinking, a black line on a white screen. Then, it stopped. The cursor stayed visible, and began to grow. Then, arms and legs grew from the cursor. then, with a flash, it turned into a wicked looking ninja, a ninja with an attitude, spiked brass knuckles, a stick of dynamite, and stains from the blood of his enemies. The screen then morphed into a field of battle, the computers hacker defenses taking over. The ninja was the avatar of a hacker, and the computer wasn't about to let an intruder take a walk inside unhindered. The first thing the computer did was send a standard defense program. A small little robot wheeled onto the screen on treads and started shooting small round bullets from a single tubular cannon at the ninja. The ninja jumped and dodged, the bullets missing. Running, the ninja scooped up a rock from the scenery and shoved it into the robots cannon. It tried to fire again and it exploded in a shower of sparks and s...
More About: Killer , Coder

Violince
2008-04-22 05:37:00
The fate of the world was held on a string, well, four strings, actually. The alien attack had come from deep space, but no one had seen it coming. Scientists think that the aliens opened up a wormhole near the earth and came through, so detection came far too late Within hours, giant alien ships covered the skies. They didn't destroy much, but they held the weapons of war, tanks, planes, boats and the like in stasis so fighting back with machines didn't work. What the aliens didn't expect was the superheroes. When the troops came down from the skies wearing bullet proof electrical shields, they were surprised to meet superheroes who had powers that ignored their shields. Many suspect they aliens had thought the real news stories of heroes were the same as the movies and comic books, fiction. Many died in the battles, both aliens, superheroes, soldiers, and innocent people. The aliens shot anyone in the heat of battle. After days of fighting, both sides were wore down. Then som...

The Scrapbook That Ate The Universe
2008-04-21 02:22:00
She had to add only one final touch, the signature. On the last page of the scrapbook, after all the bits and pieces of esoteric history and strange designs were carefully cut with scissors that left pretty crimps and designs on the edges and then pasted into perfect arrangement onto the pages, the book was almost done. It had taken years of research and gathering materials, planning and design. Each page held designs created by insane artists, words and poems spoken in only the darkest of rooms, symbols drawn only by the most unspeakable members of dark societies. Now it was all together. Outlined with colored paper, photos in pages that were acid free, stickers to add that extra touch. All together, they made a tome that would end everything. The scrapbook would open a portal to the dimensions of evil where blasphemous creatures sleep. The portal would awaken them and they would creep forth into this dimension and reach into the planets and stars with ghastly tendrils that come f...
More About: Universe , Scrapbook , The Universe

Concrete and Conjury - Part 4
2008-04-09 07:37:00
(Click the Fiction Stories link to find the first parts of this story.) Despite the feeling of being followed, Martin could not find anyone behind him, hiding in the shadows, climbing on the ceiling, no one. The strain of the day was getting to him. He finally got to his work station and found a new email waiting for him. A friend of his was wanting to know some tips on how to maintain a forum. Martin checked out his friends site real quick to find it was running a vBulletin forum and did a quick search at Web Articles, a site he used frequently for its simplicity of use and lack of distractions from the articles on the site, and found a very helpful listing of articles on vBulletin forums and emailed the link to his friend. No use writing down what someone else had already written. Maybe now he could get some work done. Another email appeared in his inbox. Martin sighed. It looked like some goofy junk mail. He was just about to click the Junk button above the subject bar that read ...
More About: Part , Concrete

flOw Haiku
2008-04-09 07:06:00
Under microscope Eating, growing, augmenting I'll never get sleep!
More About: Haiku , Flow

Tactical Fighter Alpha Zed Proxima
2008-03-31 02:45:00
The helicopter's blades slice the night sky of the city like the knife of a ghost, the special forces upgrading making the machine as silent as possible. The helicopter stops and hovers as a black rope uncoils and falls down into the darkness of the city. Tall sky scrapers loom in the black sky, the windows ominously dark. A bulky figure slides down the rope into the pool of ink that disaster has painted on the city. The figure releases the rope when on the ground and the helicopter rises away, rope recoiling. The figure is alone in the darkness. A crescent moon gives off a dull light that on any other night would be beautiful. Tonight it is sickly. The figure checks his tactical gear for the fifth time. A thick body stocking worn over the torso, arms, legs, neck. Kevlar armor strapped over top. A black vest with many pockets. Black pants, again rife with pockets. A thick belt with a thick holster containing a pistol and two double mag clip holsters. Dark boots with thick heels re...
More About: Alpha , Fighter

Birthday Haiku
2008-03-26 02:36:00
Another year past Older, wiser, more to come Now where is my pie?
More About: Haiku , Birthday

Oyster Oration: Modern Poetry
2008-03-24 05:11:00
Want to know about Gulf oysters before eating them? Visit the Be Oyster Aware and learn about all the things you'll need to know before eating oysters. How to cook them safely while making them extra tasty, what to do if you feel sick after eating them, (Ever seen that Mr. Bean episode? That might have been clams, though, but all the same...) and even learn about what happens after they are harvested.
More About: Poetry , Modern

Haiku Haiku
2008-03-24 05:01:00
Oh the great haiku First five then seven then five syllables there are
More About: Haiku

Hero Trained at Kettering University
2008-03-23 17:08:00
The latest hero to recently join the ranks of fighters for freedom and evil smiting is called The Engineering Enigma. The modus operandi of the Engineering Enigma consists of designing and personally manufacturing complex devices such as wheeled vehicles, personal aerial transportation gear, battle armor, crime fighting gadgets and weaponry, and even specially tailored traps and restraints for capturing specific villains. How the inventions work is always at question because their inner workings are always hidden and are designed purposefully to confuse people as to what their real use is until it is activated. When The Space Turtle interviewed The Engineering Enigma, we asked where he learned to create such devices. He said he learned his skill while studying at Kettering University in one of the engineering co-op programs. The university, which offers co-op programs where you can learn at the school while working (and getting paid) in the same field to gain on the job experience, ...
More About: Hero , Trained

Real News, Sad News: Terry Pratchett's Alzheimers Speech, March 2008
2008-03-21 05:04:00
I just heard the news that Terry Pratchett has Alzheimer's. This isn't new news, but news gets to me at the speed of sunlight on the Discworld, which, as you may know, travels very slow because of the large magical field of the Disc. I tend to try and not be sad and somber too much on The Space Turtle since it is meant to be a break from reality, but I felt like I had too mention this since this whole blog was in part inspired by Terry Pratchett who I hope doesn't decide to have a wizard cast a strange spell or send me to the Dungeon Dimensions for sorta kinda borrowing a space turtle from him. This one is a lot smaller and can't carry a world, just a man, as you may know if you read the stories that inspired the name of this blog. I wasn't too familiar with Terry Pratchett until more recently when I played first Discworld: Noir, then have played the first Discworld game, but not to completion, and and seen The Hogfather movie, and more recently have begun actually experiencin...
More About: News , Alzheimers , Real , March

Easter Bunny Rabbit Found Raising Army
2008-03-20 06:50:00
What could have been a major spring time holiday disaster was averted by special forces troops today in a raid in an underground facility in Pennsylvania. As special forces troops invaded the underground compound, they found large caches of weaponry and stockpiles of candy and plastic false grass. The compound was also full of terrorist operatives, led by a renegade Easter bunny rabbit who was going to lead an assault against religious organizations who have openly claimed that the resurrection of Christ was the whole reason for Easter, and that bunny rabbits with eggs incompatible with mammalian rabbit anatomy have nothing to do with Easter, and neither does the marketing of massive amounts of candy. The rabbit was gathering an army together formed of peeps, the yellow marshmallow candy birds. The rabbit, now in custody, claimed he was using peeps instead of other rabbits because all he could get rabbits to do was get together to make more rabbits. The rabbit leader had been in a m...
More About: Easter Bunny , Army , Bunny

Got sick before I even got to where you don't drink the water.
2008-03-15 06:05:00
Despite all the many things to do in Los Angeles, of my first time through LA, I hardly even saw a building. I was going down to Mexico with my church on a missions trip. We had stopped at a church on the way down and didn't have much real food, just them little round almost sandwiches, and soda, and maybe I had some watter. Then some of the guys went out to get some Red Bulls, because they were new and fangled at the time, and they wanted to try some. I was really low on sleep. Later, when we started driving, very early in the morning, I was in the far back seat of the Ford Expedition. I had wanted to try some of the Red Bull, so I did. The stuff tasted like perfume. That is not why I wont ever drink it again. So, after sipping some, deciding it was disgusting, bordering on abhorrent, I decided to try my hand at sleeping. Some time later, several minutes, half hour, I don't remember, I made an exclamation to the driver. "Jay, pull over, I'm going to be sick!" Well, he pulled ov...
More About: Drink , Water , Sick

Banana Chips Smell Really Horrible
2008-03-07 05:00:00
According to the one persons surveyed by The Space Turtle, the smell of banana chips is actually quite horrible. Not the taste mind, you, just the smell. Indeed, the man surveyed said he had been ranting about it for quite some time and had, in fact, texted a friend about the matter recently, but due to a mistake, he texted his home phone and a robotic voice read the message aloud to him. The impact of this in depth study upon society has yet to be determined, but widespread panic and government conspiracies to cover up the information discovered are almost certain to happen. It has even been suggested that they only smell horrible due to action taken by the Illuminati to quash the amount of people who eat banana chips. This speculation leads us to wonder what the reasoning behind this would be? Do banana chips have a special trait or effect that so far human kind has not discovered publicly?
More About: Banana , Smell , Chips

How You Get To The Space Turtle
2008-03-07 04:43:00
When you type in the web address for this site, do you ever what happens after you press 'enter' and the site loads? This is how it happens: First, a tiny electronic postman goes from your browser, taking the site name with him on a little pad. He takes an express train to a place that holds the nameservers. The nameservers are tall, monolithic black rectangular rocks that were carved from ancient stones that lived in oceans and streams and were connected to everything, for everything in the world is connected to water, from the oceans to rivers and lakes, to the moisture in the air and the clouds that float across the sky. Even in the deserts are connected by cacti and underground waterways. These stones are told the name of the website by the tiny postman and they reach out across the world and think and connect and think and find, then they tell the postman where the website is located. The postman writes down the location and follows a map that is always carried with him. He ...
More About: Space , Turtle

The Zombie Haiku
2008-03-07 04:11:00
On a moonless night The murmur and the moaning Guard your brains, Zombie s!
More About: Haiku

Ocean Potion Extreme Spring Break Video
2008-03-04 08:13:00
I created this horrible video that shows my overly exposed ghastly body for the Spring Break contest by Ocean Potion to promote their sun care products. I don't have to worry much about sun burn, I just reflect all the light away from myself with my light radiation deflector array, also known as a bald spot. Too bad it only works when I don't wear a hat and it gets burned when I don't wear a hat. One time my dad read a book laying on his stomach and he had no shoes on, and he burned the bottom of his feet. I bet was a painful stepping stone is his life. Wrapping yourself in tin foil works to avoid the UV rays that cause sun burn. Too bad it will also cook you like a baked potato. You might taste good with butter, too, so avoid cannibals if you ever try this. Your best bet is to just wear proper sun tan and sun block lotions and wear hats and don't stare at the sun. Well, you can use binoculars to stare at the sun to get really discounted lasik eye surgery. Please watch the v...
More About: Video , Extreme

The Wii Shortage Haiku
2008-03-04 07:51:00
How I want a Wii To laugh and play as children Dang eBay's high bids
More About: Haiku

Giant Oysters Attack London
2008-02-27 05:16:00
The full moon illuminated the foggy skies of London , hanging in the sky behind Big Ben. The moonlight reflected on the waters of the River Thames as the water moved at its normal pace into the ocean. But then the water began to ripple and become disturbed as something rose out of the waters. Two giant Crassostrea gigas mutanious, mutated oysters, rose from the waters into the foggy night. The fog swirled around as the moonlight reflected off their glistening shells as they began to float over the city. As they moved in the darkness, they emitted a mist that became betwixt with the fog. A Royal guard at Buckingham Palace saw the flying oysters and notified the Royal Air Force. The RAF hailed the intruders on all frequencies, and when no response of any kind was made, they scrambled a wing of Tornado F3s into the air. They made a pass past the oysters once with no response, but on a seconds pass, one oyster shot out a stream of pearls at one of the planes, badly damaging it, forcing t...
More About: Giant , Attack , Oysters

Lost Character John Locke Inspires New Slang Word
2008-02-23 22:19:00
In the TV Series Lost , a character John Locke tends to follow a hidden agenda so full heartedly, he will do threatening and destructive actions to accomplish this goals, even going as far as destroying buildings and killing seemingly innocent people. He will act more aggressively when he himself is threatened or he is unsure what to do next. This can result in ever more dangerous action on his part. Due to the cultural phenomena that Lost has created, this character has brought about a new slang word. The word is "Locked". It is used when someone does something that seems brash, but has their reasons that they leave unspoken or hidden. For example, if someone purposefully destroys someone else's car, but no one is quite sure why, you could say that person "Locked that car up." If someone suddenly breaks up with their boy or girlfriend for reasons left unsaid, you could say they "Really Locked up that relationship." It is unsure how widespread this word will become and how long it ...
More About: Word , John Locke , Character

Professor X Goes On A European Ski Vacation
2008-02-21 23:47:00
In an attempt to gain some rest and relaxation from constant conflict with the Brotherhood of Mutants, Professor Charles Xavier embarked on a Luxury Skiing holiday that would take him to several Luxury ski chalets. His wheel chair was fitted with special skis that attached to the wheels and are controlled with his mental powers. His first stop was one of the luxury chalets in Meribel, France. His first day on the slopes was spent on the beginner slopes so he could practice using the new skis on his chair without doing so on tough slopes. His second say was rather exciting because it turned out that the Meribel, France Bald Men Ski Competition was taking place. He decided to enter, and managed to place 4th in the ranks. Stop two for Professor X was at Courchevel, France. His three day stay was rest and relaxation until day three when Sabertooth decided to show up. The encounter ended without deadly violence because the Professor talked Sabertooth into a snowball fight to settle the...
More About: European , Vacation

Tax Return Haiku
2008-02-21 07:50:00
Many Paper Forms So many lines and boxes The forests shrinking
More About: Haiku , Return

How to tell what kind of birth announcement you have recieved.
2008-02-19 04:27:00
Have you ever gotten a letter in the mail, opened it up, and found one of those photo birth announcements, and had no idea what was going on in the picture? Here are some helpful hints that may shed some light on what you have received. A normal natural baby was born: This should be easy to spot. In the picture is just a baby, and nothing out of place. A ninja baby: There will be no baby in this picture, but there may be some clues such as tiny nunchucks, soft chewy shuriken, and a baby bottle with wasabi milk. A superhero/villain baby: This may vary, but some things to look for are the baby holding up a full sized sedan, a scar across the eye (villain), the baby is floating, or the baby is on fire but not getting burned. A pirate baby: Was born with a parrot on it's shoulder, is trying to bury their pacifier, or has already plundered a nurse's stethoscope. An announcement from the Zoo: If the baby is an animal, this is a good bet. A centaur baby: Similar to a Zoo announcement...
More About: Announcement , Birth

PI: The Valentine Vision - Part Four
2008-02-19 02:38:00
Part one Part two Part three I walked up to the man who had been following me as he was trying to reach into my window to open my car door. I decided to break the ice before I broke his arm. "Hey buddy, mind keeping your mitts off my car? Just because it has a lousy paint job doesn't mean I don't mind you messing up my car" I said to him. He turned and growled at me. I took a step back as I caught a whiff of his rancid breath that smelled of old fish. He pointed his finger at me and muttered "Youh sstay awway!" in a slurring tongue. "Listen chum, you are the one breaking into my car." I replied. His reply was less courteous. He made a snarly grimace and throw himself at me. I sidestepped him but got a glimpse of webbed hands with claws and what appeared to be gills on the side of his neck as he stumbled past me. He turned around to keep up the attack, but came face to barrel with my .38 Special. I think it was the look in my eye and the sudden lack of witty remarks that told him...
More About: Valentine , Part , Vision