Diary of a Dead Writer Writing

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True treasures
2007-10-12 09:50:00
I know I have been cooped up in The Hellhole way much longer than I should. All pooped out, too.I'm smelling hideously musty as well. Maybe because I have buried myself under a pile of paperbacks now towering ominously as a result of my compulsive POP (Previously-Owned Paperbacks) collecting habit.Believe me, I could very well be the velcro of stuff previously-owned, paperbacks especially. My personal anthem should very well then be Barbra Streisand's "Second Hand Rose"."...it's no wonder that I feel abusedI've never owned a thing that ain't been used..."Right now, I am thinking of spring cleaning, you know, fluffing up pillows, dusting ceilings, just refurbish The Hellhole, the works.Part of the whole shebang is to stuck away oldish stuff before I go through another cycle of POP collecting again.Rummaging through the collection now, I stumble into these paperbacks tucked in a special corner alongside the Holy Bible, Qur'an, Tarot Set, and my Photo Album - all of which, the la...
More About: True , Treasure , Treasures

What's blogging, anyway?
2007-10-11 08:28:00
"I think blog began to mean a rant on the internet, somebody who's just out of the blue expressing their own personal opinion about something...then it became sort of a hybrid - well, he's expressing his opinions, but he's backing it up with facts, or he's uncovering facts that maybe the mainstream didn't know about, and maybe those facts are real or they're not and he's expressing his ipinions...Eventually it just got to mean somebody who's publishing on the internet more or less...""It has pros and cons. On the one hand, it allows anybody to put out their opinions, but on the other, these information could be wrong, misleading, or biased of the situation or, an opinion; but, also can be complimentary to the mainstream media in that most people that have blogged on have their own agenda rather than the agenda of a larger corporation or a larger media firm. So i see a double-edged sword, the blogging.""It's a(n) easy way of getting your thoughts from point A to the rest of ...
More About: Blogging

Hearing blue, tasting 7, feeling orange
2007-10-08 11:42:00
I never thought this was a serious form of perceptual disorder and that there is actually a medical nomenclature for this condition.As far back as I can remember, I listen to music for the sheer visual experience of it. For every musical experience, I hear, or see colors. The more harmonious the melody or tune, the more subty monotonic or pastel the hues. Which explains why I always end up in a squabble with my brother who digs Bon Jovi or Metallica. Enough said.As with words, particularly written, I find myself automatically configuring their numerological values. Which means that a word has to have a value of 7 or 8 because I just find these numbers eternally appealing. My authorial preferences is dictated as well by the sound of their names.For lunch I made a broth with smoked fish, dilis, malunggay, and ketchup. The gustatory experience was simply amazing. It felt like swimming in a warm tub.I know I have it, I live it on a daily basis, but I have been keeping it under wraps all...
More About: Blue , Orange , Feeling , Hearing

Letters from a Soldier
2007-10-07 21:33:00
Stumbled into these old letters while collating materials for my mother's application for American Citizenship.As an avid collector of curios and, or, remnants of antiquities, this fascination now draws me to a hallowed corner of my room, as my trembling hands open each of them, one brittle page after another ... Mother's father, Dominador Luardo Acain, born in Paia, Maui, Hawaii, enlisted for military service in 1944. His first deployment was Ormoc, Leyte, southwestern Philippines, about a year before Gen. Douglas McArthur fulfilled his oft-quoted famous "I shall return..." promise.Homesick from a twenty-four day travel by sea, Domie, or Dicky set afoot on the island on October 27,1944 bouyed with stirrings familiar - the faces of strangers he met, the color of their skin, their sturdy jawlines, their pug noses, standard Malayan physical makeups, all too suddenly gave faces to the characters from the stories his father and mother had told him as a young Fil-Am boy in Hawaii.Barel...
More About: Letters , Soldier

First self-portrait
2007-10-06 14:54:00
For warm up, I tried the header image of my wordpress diary. And then this. Okay, don't look now but, I didn't intend this to come out like any of those religious relics catalogued in glossy coffetables. This definitely is giving me the creeps. But, hey, that's me.
More About: Portrait , Self Portrait , TRAI

While the butler is sick
2007-10-05 11:30:00
Objects you'll find commonly placed here and there. Another architectural wonder that aims to fuse the utilitarian purposiveness of kitchen, laundromat, and living room.Now let me buzz you in. The butler just phoned in sick.Welcome to The Hellhole. Say hello to The Resident Foot.You have no right to make unnecessary movements.This is a six-if-standing room only.
More About: Sick , Butler

Figures Talk
2007-10-04 21:40:00
Counting since the 1st of October 2007, the day we enlisted ourselves on a site stats analyzer, here are some glowing facts on our readership.This is only for continents Asia, North America, and Oceania.
More About: Talk , Figures

The Hellhole
2007-10-04 10:17:00
No lights any time from any of the upper windows, day in, day out. Neighbors rarely see its occupants hobnobbing around. Except for a cranky caretaker, an Old Lady who thinks she can open the rusty gate with a piercing stare from behind a decrepit shell window.Actually overheard someone referencing the house once as a laboratory of an abortionist. If one listened intently, especially on nights cloaked in the company of forlornment - okay, I made up the forlornment bit - allegedly, one could hear faint cries of infants.Fine place to burrow in. If you were a Dead Writer Walking.The minute you step out of the green gate, you should be stepping on the shadow of this ginormous structure. It sprawls around the corner where you catch your daily ride to the confluence of human affairs.The Hellhole is tucked at the back of the house where a mossy perimeter concrete wall encloses the whole house. And where cats in estrus come to tryst every night.The yellow pail is the Lady Caretaker's bidet...

Moments of Non-being: A Dead Man Walking's Timeline
2007-10-03 07:15:00
Who is that girl I seeStaring straight back at me? When will my reflection showWho I am inside?... Now indulge me in this major Mulan moment.If you just see how my gazes turn away or downward most of the time, it's obvious I am stuck in a rut.But how did I get here?August 8, 1969, Cebu City ? My birthday. Born posthumously, my father had the fine sense to not to wait for me as he chose to go six feet under the ground 7 days before my B-day. On a much lighter note, if predestination and numerology were reliable schools, you would think that I was destined to be this balahura (irreverent) and bastos (naughty). Come on?8-8-6-9?!1972 ? Mother remarried to a native Siquijorian to allegedly ward off the spirit of my earth-bound father. It was not enough that she was only a fledgling seamstress with a child to feed but, uh, for the life of me, she had to choose among a drove of suitors, filthy rich DOM?s included, a swashbuckling Erap fan from a fishing village in one of the most forbiddi...
More About: Dead Man , Timeline , Dead , Moments

This Blogger Singshots the Blues
2007-10-01 15:03:00
And now from the Department of Faceless Self-Promotion, here are the songs that I have bawled out this far on Sings hot, teeth, tongue, and tonsils galore.Warning: the more plentiful the earwax, the better the listening experience.But of course, my precious, shame on you for making a pass on my raspily mangled version of:"Suddenly" by Billy Ocean"You Needed Me" by Anne Murray"It Never Rains In Southern California" Albert Hammond"Angel" by Sarah McLachlan"The Prayer" by Celine Dion"Still" by the CommodoresAnd a lot more. Stop me.I did say my repertoire was as bottomless as my sighs, didn't I?
More About: Blogger , Blues

Call connect
2007-09-29 07:42:00
It was so not Vic to call me very early in the morning. I mean, a married guy with kids and all and still he took time out to check if I was alright.But it's very him as a classmate in college.He's the type who would single you out only to ask you how the weather was going. Then he'd lift you up with scriptural verses which was fine at that time because I was your typical virtuous bumpkin then.Now I am daunted by the thought of other well-wishers from our batch. I wish they'd reconsider asking me stupid questions.I just know how the collective third-world mind operates.
More About: Call , Connect

Art therapy
2007-09-28 06:29:00
Never had formal lessons but I remember grade school teachers ordering me to draw, or doodle stuff on their display boards whenever superintendents came to visit our school.Those were times when I felt most at peace with the world as I was left alone to my childish craft which I paced rather advertently slow.At times, I would intentionally finish them in a couple of days straight, a week at the most for special occasions like, the Principal's birthday, or homecoming of balikbayan alumni, without having to bother myself with homeworks or having to subject myself to boring drills - structural grammar, math cards, ladeeduh.Oh the luxury of time and my art. These days, I am reviving that craft which somehow got lost in the muddle of thirdworld convulsions.I don't think I have progressed that much but, hey, the touch is still there.I am going to have to do this more often now.
More About: Therapy , Thera

Undress, err, undepress me
2007-09-28 05:41:00
Thing with sleazeballs is that because I love wearing muscle shirts they predatorily take me as the 7-11 of sensuous pleasures.Like I commend my spirit unto them, Every hour. Every corner. Everything. I am not saying I am not capable of imbibing the spirit of the times here. As I've said I used to be, in Vilma Santos's oft-quoted line, "...parang isang carinderiang bukas sa lahat ng gustong kumain..."With our current state of being though, I say in all honesty, I can't seem to rise up to the occasion anymore.The manoy (thang) could use some noble act of manumission.Yes, you'd have to undepress me if you want to undress me.
More About: Undress

Manhedonia
2007-09-27 05:37:00
The guy standing next to me at a public urinal reached for my flaccid thang while I was taking a leak.Better luck next time, dude. I am so not into it these days...Uhm, wait, it's been six months already.For one who built a lifestyle around sensual pleasures, okay, mostly ejaculatory, this erstwhile sleazebag would have dropped his pants off. Pleasurable activities used to be a breeze, you know. The more compromising the circumstance, the greater the thrill.I am so manhid now, I don't find any redolent throbbing thing exciting anymore. Bedromping these days have been nothing but physical acts.No hedonistic earth vibrations. No nirvana.Nothing. Nada. Naught. Except for salty beads of sweat.Can this be anhedonia?

Chowking Harrison Plaza 1216PM
2007-09-25 06:12:00
?I?m gonna have to die real soon.?The Lover looked away from a tassle of noodles hanging in midair.??!??You heard me right, missy.??No, you?re not.?I propped up my elbow on the edge of the table which gave the bowl of congee quite a shove. Goo spilled over.?What do you mean I won?t? I am sure of it. The quicker, the better. And I will it this time?.And oh, no drama please.??Of course you won?t.?No use contesting an overused subject with a normal creature.?Uhm, that clone phone. You have my go. Don't forget to show me the receipt.?These days blues sure can get you walking on the upside.
More About: Harrison , Plaza

Netopia Harrison Plaza 357PM
2007-09-24 10:10:00
I am here to check my life extenders on cyber.For someone who thinks he knows too well of the flighty gazes of a troubled spirit, my multiple personalities on the internet belie the unaffected façade that I put on.I have three Blogspots, a couple of Multiply accounts, one with Blog-city, and one with Sailblogs. Each one with unique username and password.I only want to keep a specific pigeonhole for each of my pains.Hopefully, other life forms would get my message.Today, there is none.Let me dash to my room to finish Georgia Nicolson?s ?On the bright side, I am now the girlfriend of a Sex God!?
More About: Harrison , Plaza

Harrison Plaza 327pm
2007-09-24 09:45:00
Where to?At this point, this empty black space now spans wider and deeper than the heaviest of my sighs.We are so skidding downhill real fast now. All I see around me are faces of people blurred by this feeling of inadequacy.This whole blues thing is seriously getting vicious.I feel like screaming for help yet, I want to be left alone.People still see or treat me as one tough smart aleck yet, at the slightest hint of derision, I want to go skin myself.But the idea of myself skinned and glistening like uncooked shawarma just chickens me out.
More About: Harrison , Plaza

1243 a. m. i-Hooked Net Cafe
2007-09-22 17:43:00
There is something about thinking of going to a place far away and having sex with the one you're leaving behind.
More About: Cafe , Hook

Netopia, Harrison Plaza, 214pm
2007-09-22 08:49:00
Singshot or Singsnap?As far as application goes, music is straightforward. At least on a personal level. Which means that I don?t give a hoot if Filipinos were the world?s official crooners.For me, it?s more than just a cultural predisposition.I always run to it for very emotional and psychological reasons. And I will always be ready with a plethora of them to celebrate my life through it. Even if most border on the dark side.Well, it makes sense if you were conceived and nurtured from the bosom of depression.Now, now, don?t get me wrong. It?s not like I sprung from a mental race. It?s just that it feels a bit weird to have been brought out into this world rather uniquely with so much overly depressing situations going on.And it hasn?t been in any way a decent respecter of time. It follows me wherever I go and whatever I do.I tried anything but drugs yet to drown it out ? clothes, shoes, bags, watches, swinging, swindling, cheating, karaoke bar, aping statues, whoring, eating sardin...
More About: Harrison , Plaza

Microsmith, P Ocampo 835pm
2007-09-21 15:31:00
I have been watching these fetching lively young things for days since they opened their branch here, and how they fawningly assist their customers.Oh how contagiously the verve for life pulsates from within them. It's a pity mine is waning away with every tick and tack of the clock.A chronicle of my remaining life would not be bad at this point. I mean that I don't think the world would begrudge me if I gave form to the convulsions relentlessly rampaging through my head now.So here now, I have decided to chronicle the details of my state as a dead man walking.Hence the title, Diary of a Dead Man Walking. I intend this to be my journal, memoir, and autobiography while I hang on to this dear life yet.A rather morbid moral purpose you'd say. But I do this as a faithful recognition of the remaining confusions, conflicts, and yes, strong resonations of death in every twist and turn as I slowly trudge down to the valley of death.You see, I am getting some strong vibes that this life w...

656pm MoA Shuttle
2007-09-21 15:30:00
Slinked into a seat behind the driver. He smells strongly of rotten citrus.Was it the hair?Looking at the nose of the fellow passenger in front of me, I got a notion that some noses were originally designed as the third cheek.Or so at least for some people.Thank goodness, it's just my jug ears that got me into tiny spats as a kid.I figure I could wage a daily jihad with my god, my ancestors, my father, my mother, myself or with the whole world.All for having a nose like that.Then again, each to his own shameful secrets. Mine happens to be just these ears that double as a sideview mirror.I could have been a transformer robot in one of my past lives.
More About: Shuttle

555 Netopia, EGI Tower, Buendia
2007-09-21 15:29:00
555 Netopia, EGI Tower - Searched for downloadable e-form for my mother who is determined to push through with her plan to apply for US Citizenship even if I was like eternally shushing her in my mind.I mean, why only now when your goddarn father is not around anymore to support you with an Affidavit of Parentage or Physical Presence?