Sexualite Blog by Anastasia

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Like the Little Train...
2008-04-24 17:39:00
I'm finally having an early night. Now you may think that 1am isn't early, but if you'd been around my house this week, you'd reconsider your definition. Three days were spent without sleep, and other days 5 am looked good. I don't know how to completely describe how I feel tonight. I didn't make any ground shattering breakthrough, but after a week of ranting the word 'fuck' repeatedly, and cursing every computer in humankind, I did reach the top of the virtual mountain. Goddamn...blow jobs are easier or not so specific. You open, put it in, add a little noise for effect or better yet, go into improv mode and see what'll happen, and it won't be a huge issue. Do that with sites, databases and codes, and you'll feel like I did earlier in the week: jaded, pissed (but rerouted from the full blown explosion via Zoloft) and highly frustrated. I've already started fixing the template layout of the reinvented Lucrezia Magazine, and it's all so easy to put the pages togeth...
More About: Train

Finally...Zen
2008-04-24 12:32:00
After a few days (and all nighters), I'm walking on a cloud. The new site for Lucrezia Magazine is working like a dream. No database headaches, no notifications.... Yey
More About: Finally

Sex, Rain...Sure Thing?
2008-04-24 07:25:00
You've got to be kidding. Sydney has just beaten its 77 year rainfall record for the month of April, and as I was about to leave the shopping mall, I realized I forgot my umbrella at home. Wouldn't you know it? It pissed down, and I thought I'd go for the taxi stand. Was there a taxi? No chance. I like the idea of wet rollicking sex (as rain pounds the roof), and if it is matched with roaring thunder, all the better, but afternoon rain accompanied by wet pant legs, squishy toes and hair that feels like wet dog isn't exciting. I wanted to go home. I re-entered the mall, found the bargain TEK shop and bought an umbrella, to leave and enter Enmore Park to see the bus in the distance. The park walkways were flooded, I curse my open toed shoes and cringed my pant hems splashed about. Home couldn't be more alluring, I thought. The other reason for my eagerness to return home related to my new reading glasses. I wanted to actually see them on, and feel the difference, not that t...
More About: Rain , Thing

The Lighter Side of Publishing Erotica
2008-04-23 21:50:00
I would kick myself hundreds of times if I wasn't so sleep deprived, and had more energy. There actually is a lot of work behind the scenes, and the chances of me lounging around like a hedonist are as remote as gray men making contact with humans. Visitors to the magazine (right this moment) will be looking at a site with a directory. The reason for this is due to my current upload that is still current. The perfectionist in me desperately needs the preformed template that I've downloaded, and due to my hopeless attempt in backing up and shifting offline content to the live database (which made everything go haywire), I've reinstalled and fiddled around with files for two days, with less than four hours sleep. Today will make it day three - without sleep; the energy to masturbate has evaporated. Tonight (or this morning), I began and realized, much later, that the soccer began on SBS and this meant that it was after four in the morning. Ah, what the hell? I thought. May a...
More About: Publishing , Erotica , Side , Lighter

The Down & Out Sex Worker
2008-04-23 20:16:00
The apparently glamorous world of prostitution has taken another recent battering with revelations concerning one Heather Mills. The person who discussed Heather's former life as an elite escort is her former work buddy. Ah, colleagues. What would you do without them? Is there such a thing as professional friendship, or is this a case of desperation? Denise Hewitt apparently worked as a high priced escort, but I guess she didn't make the big time or snag a rich hubby (like Heather), so now she is riding on Mills' coat tails. It is all fine and dandy for a professional to proclaim discretion, but is there such a thing as complete privacy?  A down and out sex worker can be a formidable force for about five minutes. Outing a dead billionaire isn't as exciting as the occupational revelation. It was one thing to reveal nude pictures of Heather, but the 'sex worker' apparently requires a documentary. I guess it's a dark day in the world of sex work.
More About: Worker

Minimalism
2008-04-23 17:13:00
I did the unthinkable, after deciding that the term ‘time wastage’ is a euphemism for social networking. Then, of course, is the other sinister observation. Many social networking sites use profile space to place adverts. The owners of sites such as My Space and Facebook earn money, but what does the person with the profile get? Zilch. Thing is this - they wouldn’t have social networking sites collecting uber advert revenue if they didn’t have members. The investment a member makes is time related and social networking requires a significant chunk of time. My task this evening? Canceling all social networking accounts, with the exception of Twitter. Twitter is the only place that is relatively free of advertising. I don’t feel like I am being exploited on Twitter, but I can’t say the same for My Space and Facebook. My pet peeves? Numerous. Network is another euphemism for endless spam chain letters and quizzes. I have better things to do than log into my Facebo...

On Turning Three
2008-04-23 04:16:00
I didn't think I'd still be around to turn three. Turning three (yesterday, or the day before) is strange. A blog can be used for many things. For me, this blog has charted the last three years of my life. It also contains my evolution as a writer of erotica - something that was completely new to me, as a writer. I didn't begin this blog with the thought of, 'what (or where) can it get me?' in terms of opportunities. My blog was (and still is) a vehicle for self expression, and it can be considered an extension of myself: it began life on Blogger, to be transferred to Typepad, and it has had many different hairdos over this time.  I too, see change as necessary step forward. What advice would I give any one thinking of starting a blog? Have fun, be open to experimentation/change and most importantly, be true to yourself.

Lights, Camera, Cock
2008-04-22 20:47:00
The first film penis I saw unfolded during my high school English excursion to watch A Room with a View. Although we were studying the novel for an important assessment, Julian Sands took center stage as his penis jiggled up and down during a scene. My friends were in hysterics; laughter is a sign of happiness, but it’s also a sign of anxiety or nervousness. Our two female teachers silently watched the film. We looked for any sign of discomfort or nervousness, but the two women were absorbing Julian’s…acting skills. There have been many breasts on television. Somehow breasts are fine and dandy for mainstream films, and have been for the last three decades, but a penis? The television programs that make me laugh are those that proclaim to be controversial (due to the sexual subject matter) - without body parts on show. Yes, in these shows, people fuck with their clothes on, and all female characters drape their bodies with sheets to resemble a Roman senator. Hello, you’ve ju...
More About: Camera , Lights , Cock

Missing: Inner Drama Queen
2008-04-22 19:47:00
It's almost four in the morning and my life is so sad because here I am, sitting on my butt, waiting for, oh a few hundred files to be uninstalled (so I can reinstall a fully functioning template without me spending hours or eons figuring out modules), so the magazine site - at this moment (but it will change in an hour) - has a huge white page with some sort of error warning on it. Thousands and thousands of files, and sure, I ought to be yanking my hair out, swearing or, the most likely form of release, crying. Thanks to Zoloft I can't find my inner drama queen and scarier still, I don't mind it that much. The perfectionist within is still there, itching to burst forth and kick a chair, but my limbic system is lazing around sipping a Pina Colada.
More About: Drama , Queen , Missing

Where Does the Day Go
2008-04-22 05:38:00
I’ve never been fond of sitting on my butt as I have been doing with my job in limbo, then again I’ve never been one for office politics. No patience. No more tolerance, and a bunch of other things, so being active is a must. At this time I'm relatively free from the nine to five monotony and even though I watch the pennies, I feel happier and have been more productive. On my agenda today: - Another site update, which translates to me reinstalling software yet again after my own screw ups.- Finalize author payments for April- Read submissions- Pay for my new specs- Work on the new Lucrezia Magazine template (read: upload content again)

Being Screwed
2008-03-26 14:47:00
This afternoon I counted the weeks, or months, but it was all laid out for me by two friends over coffee. There were no denials on my part. I was surprised how zoned out I was. I sat, listened and agreed with everything, but I didn’t open my mouth. Everything felt smooth, at least on the outside, and within -on some level - but I noticed the frequency of lighting up. This past fortnight, I have been trying to put a list of all the possible things to raise in at a shrink session, and I’ve come up with zilch. My coffee tasted like crap, a side effect from medication, and I couldn’t taste my smoke but I kept at it. There, within the pleasant ambiance of the suburban café, it came out. “They’re screwing you.”“I know they’re screwing me,” I said.Both gaped at me, perplexed at my quietude.“And? What? You couldn’t believe how tired I am.” And I am. I have written countless letters to various places regarding the job limbo.“Then push it.”“I’ve pus...
More About: Screwed

Whacky Women, Pregnant Men, Beautiful People & Viagra
2008-03-26 09:32:00
Confession: I'm addicted to the Sydney Morning Herald's Life & Style section. I read, laugh and smirk at the various headlines and images that occupy the pages. The prime question on my mind relates to divorcees, women mainly, and if they're celebrities or public figures that are given negative press, how each image is uncomplimentary. It is as though the editors of the pages said, "We want Heather in a huff! We don't want smiling Heather…" The most recent update on Heather shows fierce in ways that Tyra never intended. Then there are headlines that grab attention. How could you not click on something like ''Pregnant Man?" I clicked and it is true. There is a pregnant man about to give birth. The fact that he was born a woman, and didn't have any uterine surgery enables him/her to give birth. Beautiful people are the news. Many are drawn to beautiful people like shoe-a-holics are drawn to Jimmy Choos, and Who's annual list of the world's most be...
More About: Women , People , Viagra

Premier Bordellos - Stiletto
2008-03-25 21:52:00
Bordellos encapsulate the ‘forbidden.’ Where I live, they are plentiful, and often exist in suburbs. The majority are legal, and if you walk past any one of them at any time, you would not be any wiser. Many resemble conventional terrace houses, and others are situated above ground floor level. When you become aware of one, you often wonder what it is like - if you haven’t entered a bawdy house. Bordellos are interesting, for the girls and the ambiance. Stiletto is an exclusive Sydney bordello that has impeccable original erotic art, fine furnishings and fine women -not to mention a user friendly web site. Their rooms are to die for. I wish my bedroom partially resembled the Moulin Rouge, James Bond or Roman Orgy rooms.
More About: Premier

You Go, Girlfriend!
2008-03-25 17:36:00
This guy cracks me up, but he’s taken something that has featured in numerous self-help books, and made a video summing it all up. It begs the question: does a person have to experience co-dependency to realize independence? My most recent battle with the usual questions (“Are you with anyone?” “Why aren’t you dating?” “How do you feel about not dating?”) has been a pain in my ass. The popular Martha Stewart like articles that make appearances in some magazines (for women over thirty) make me gnash my teeth, and I don’t know what it is, but I have no idea about things like flower arranging and muffins. I just put flowers in a vase, arrange them symmetrically, and follow muffin baking mix instructions - and I feel satisfied with that. So when I’d be targeted for the domestic Diva conversations at work, I’d be stymied for answers, but I’d manage to put on a brave face and leap into the conversations. Hm, yes that is nice (What do I really care about flora...
More About: Girlfriend

Sting in the Tail -fiction
2008-03-25 12:26:00
After nine years of marriage, Mary knew that the holidays were not a good time to ask her husband for a favor. There were few things to smile about; Daniel’s eyes lingered over the cold meats. She reminded him to hurry up. He scowled; his warm breath elevated his sandy fringe. It was the same breath that tantalized her damp neck. “I’m leaving in five minutes. I thought you’d be finished by now,” she said. Then again… She’d often joke about his lengthy shopping trips. They’d laugh, and their limbs would fall in place. Caresses, and kisses; marathon love sessions. The cute anomalies became frightful over the years. It was strange how she ignored his peculiarities; he’d stand, for minute at a stretch, reading food labels. Their lives diverged after Jess's birth: his tendency to control every shopping expedition. You should buy the other yoghurt. It has both strains. Strains?How stupid, why of course: acidophilus and bifidus. She leaned against the cool metal edg...
More About: Fiction , Sting , Tail

Sex in Film
2008-03-25 06:59:00
Being off work has expanded time itself! This morning I began cleaning my DVD collection, and counted some of the raunchier films I have, but haven't watched for some time. Some films I have bought, to add to the collection, and haven't seen since their first release on VHS. Sex on film takes many turns. I have to say that I'm really over the frequency of missionary position on film. It's one position that populates many mainstream films and television series. Season I of The Tudors focused on three positions: woman on top, doggy and missionary. The latter dominated the sex. Missionary, missionary and more missionary, and maybe this relates to actor comfort, or the ease of filming? I don't really know. My collection (the few that I'll outline here) is eclectic. Some films I bought for the sake of purchase, and other films have been embedded in my head for some time. The 1979-1980 portrayal of Caligula intrigued me ever since I saw its posted at the now defunct Eros ...
More About: Film

Coming Round that Mountain
2008-03-25 03:20:00
I whipped out the vibrator last night to increase the intensity. It is no joke, but the medication I am on has done things to my nocturnal sexual motivation. I’d hate to think about the possible issues it could present in a relationship, and have to admit I’m relieved that I am not in the throes of regular sex. It is nightmarish enough to deal with the officials at work, but this medication works to elevate or keep serotonin around for longer periods of time. Sometimes I think of it as a low G.I. diet, where sugar levels are maintained or kept constant. The SSRI does similar things with neurotransmitters. The libido is an interesting motivation and, now, I think it works in tandem with the sense (or feeling) of deprivation; the need to get one’s fill - the antagonizing craving - is what fuels the sexual urge. What happens when the happy chemicals are on an even keel? Minimal antagonism and a decreased need some days. It takes me so much time to manually please myself. It fee...
More About: Mountain , Round

Move Over Y-Fronts, it's the Mirdle
2008-03-25 02:19:00
I may be female but each time I catch a glimpse of girdles on television or in Myer, I freak a little. A girdle is like the cheap version of a corset - unsexy. I’ve always loathed them. Ever since my foster mother introduced us all to those bloomer-girdle granny knickers, I’ve hated them. She’d wear them to hide VPL (Visible Panty Line), and I couldn’t see the sense of having my circulation constricted until she revealed the other, which -back then, as I am not sure now - concerned ‘wobble’. This woman couldn’t handle any type of wobble, and it wasn’t like she was carrying a weight equivalent of a Humpback whale on her body, she just didn’t like the idea of so she’d wear the tightest beige/black/white girdle she could find and then persuaded us to wear one as teenagers; I’ll just say that it made me more conscious of myself than anything else. I’d rather the granny knickers each time than have to wear an elasticized girdle; a corset is sexier. Girdl...
More About: Move

A woman for All Seasons - Helmut Newton
2008-03-24 11:35:00
“My job as a portrait photographer is to seduce, amuse and entertain.” - Helmut Newton There are so many portraits attributed to Newton. One can sit down and spend hours exploring the women within his images, their attitudes, and poses. He has captured many emotions, each identifiable within one's personal female world. For more Helmut, visit this site here.
More About: Seasons , Woman , A Woman , Helmut Newton

Lucrezia Blog Excerpts
2008-03-24 01:24:00
Taking a look around at adult blogging can take a long time, especially if most directories don’t list most blogs, and I do think that there are numerous newcomers out there who feel at a loss as to how to get their foot out there, be read and so on. I remember my first step, and I can’t say that I began this blog with the sole intention of writing about the fun side of sex. This blog was more about my struggle with my own relationships, and the entire dating scene as a single female/parent, and coming through the lackluster incidents that left me reeling, perplexed, frustrated, as well as dazzled (or overwhelmed) with the sexual options that exist. In the course of time, probably a year into this blog, I entered the sphere of erotic writing, and went on to have stories published, making a detour from my usual mainstream or non-sexual writing. This morning, shortly after I jumped out of bed (yes, strangely enough I awoke with a bounce instead of a ‘gawd, help me’ mome...
More About: Blog

The Empire of the Dead
2007-11-06 12:16:00
I stood beneath a duvet. Of course, it could have been a cotton balled sky or cauliflower cumulus, but it bogged me down, bolting me to the nature strip outlining each gravestone. I didn't feel light or hopeful. Streaks of divine light streaked through the clouds, somehow missing me, and each stone marked a place for those who'd be pushing up daisies for all eternity (and then some). The ground could open, imbibe me with one gulp and a part of me would still stand, oblivious to the chasm. In my head, within the mush, thoughts pulsed. It's silly to talk to a stone, I think. It's unusual to hang around for far too long a time. I flexed my toes, and knelt to clear away weeds. I tend to time each visit. I'd been here less than five minutes, and it felt like a year. It reminded me of all the times I'd visit friends of friends, or relatives of friends. I'd lend a free shoulder, mindful of the other one that creaked under the pressure of the imaginary boulder that accompanied...
More About: Dead , Empire , The Empire

Electric Ladyland
2007-11-04 02:02:00
I love Hendrix so much, that I use one of his album titles as a mating challenge: “Are you experienced?” Online, face-to-face, I don’t give a half squirt of shit. I adore the reaction; it’s the screen pause, or the first eyelid flutter that floors me each time. “What do you mean?” It’s the common response. Am I referring to sexual experience, or say, their prowess at balancing ledgers? None, no one, can relate it to Hendrix, so I ask myself if they are as experienced as proclaimed. The time arrived to imbibe the fresh urban air of soot, petrol fumes and PTP (public transport perspiration); and then they tell me to quit smoking? If you travel to Newtown, like I did, you will view the street dust firsthand; it brings asbestos to mind. It caresses most store awnings, and although Newtown is Newtown, it’s mutton dressed as lamb; bohemian types gather in cafes and bookstores. It’s difficult to arrive at pointed conclusions; I call them post baby boomers, with bohe...
More About: Electric

NanoWrimo 2007
2007-11-01 09:15:00
It's kicked off again. Another year of fervent writing for participants. NanoWrimo is a good excuse to put the finishing touches to an ongoing project, as well as motivating one  to begin a story. The rules can be found on the official site. The positive thing about NanoWrimo is the freedom one has; there are many genres. There aren't any genre restrictions, however there are a few things that one needs to keep in mind and that relates to divulging your (novel) content to the public and the possible ramifications that may have. I'd advise against displaying an entire novel on a website or blog, simply because it's like divulging your idea to all and sundry and although copyright remains with a writer, that doesn't stop any one from utilizing a story/novel or adapting it. If your work contains controversial material, it's best to keep it to yourself (while updating your daily word tally), otherwise face the wrath of offended readers. This happened to me in 2005. I tho...

Sticky
2007-10-29 15:29:00
A quickie today. I’m adapting to daylight saving time that commenced during the early hours of Sunday morning. The day has zoomed. I’ve been a little resourceful. I have added an erotic horror section to the mobi site, and updated that with my story Atelier (in five smallish parts). I’ve added an older post, titled Domination, to the erotica section. In addition to the above, you can read more about Lucrezia on the mobi site too. I have spent my evening reading submissions, namely erotic fiction… So it’s been a sticky evening.
More About: Icky , Tick

Atropos & Changes: Changes to this Sexualité
2007-10-27 08:48:00
One of the first things a writer is taught - indirectly or directly- is the power of the introductory sentence. I haven’t been faithful to that in the course of maintaining this blog, and blogging can induce laziness. Every one experiences events that alter one's course. Such changes can lead to dramatic detours, altering personal paradigms and perceptions. One thing that remains constant is one’s personal evolution; the ongoing journey undergoes changes. Each change can be minute, like dynamic chemical equilibrium that that the naked eye cannot see. In the course of keeping a blog I have had much feedback. While some of it has been positive, or most of it, there have been moments where undesirable feedback has tested my limits. When the feedback relates to things outside the central theme of this blog, or enters the political realm, I tend to sharpen my teeth. A blog is strange phenomenon. With the exception of commercial blogs, a personal blog is personal and yet, can be ...
More About: Chang , Chan

The Meteoric & Tragic
2007-10-26 14:18:00
I returned to fiddling around with my Mobi version of this site tonight (I have decided to extend pages), that my mind turned to subject that had Australia agog this week: the death of mobile phone entrepreneur John Ilhan. One cannot think of mobile or cell phone innovation in Australia, without John Ilhan. His marketing strategies were envied by many of Australia’s current corporations, and many stopped to take notice. The United States has Bill Gates, and Australia had John Ilhan; they achieved in a similar fashion. They took risks, and didn’t permit any one (with fancier qualifications) to dampen their ideas. Although Ilhan’s wealth isn’t as magnanimous as Gates’, he had an idea and went forward with his goal, and didn’t pay heed to those who told him his ideas were crazy. His biography can be read here. He is the classic migrant story; lad arrives to Australia from Turkey, to live in an average suburb, and go on to become one of Australia’s most successful entre...
More About: Tragic

Power, Sex and the Improbable
2007-10-25 13:18:00
“Let us go one step further. It is high time to recognize that we humans are far better at doing than understanding, and better at tinkering than inventing. But we don't know it. We truly live under the illusion of order believing that planning and forecasting are possible. We are scared of the random, yet we live from its fruits. We are so scared of the random that we create disciplines that try to make sense of the past--but we ultimately fail to understand it, just as we fail to see the future.” Nassim Nicholas TalebThere was no way of predicting that I’d walk into a bookstore today, and go ape shit.  I briefly cringed at my receipt. I wasn’t sure what I was hunting. I even made a return trip to pick up a work that fanned my mind after I attended a work counseling session. The session made me think about power, and the thought grew. Power is an intriguing element, and one of the most perverted abstract schemes; power is not an object, and people respond to it as tho...

Sexualité on Mobi
2007-10-24 15:12:00
I have to be a (tech) glutton for punishment. I did the ordinary thing, and read a recent domain special and thought, 'now that's interesting.' I've become more experimental with technology, than I have with sex in recent times. The last few weeks saw me muck about with my domain name, the host switch, that turned into a couple of all-nighters and now I think I have outclassed my curiosity. Hell, I don't even own a decent WAP enabled cell phone to see the result. Then again, the add on domain for this page will probably take a full 48 hour update, but I managed to check out the web page variant of it. What is .mobi? .mobi is a TLD, or top level domain, that is dedicated to delivering Internet content to mobile services. Keep in mind that there's a difference between uploading from a phone to a blog platform, such as Typepad. The .mobi TLD doesn't work in reverse; you can't set a .mobi domain and redirect it to a blog, because a site has to be .mobi compliant. A w...
More About: Mobi

Weet Bix Blowjobs & Pubic Hair Tales
2007-10-23 10:42:00
Britney Spears has nothing on me. I was a skinhead before the trend arrived to Australia in the mid Seventies, courtesy of my irate mother (long story, but somewhere in this blog, I just cant be fucked linking to it like a school project). I went through the second - less drastic - cranial mow job in 2005. I somehow transferred the weight of my job hassles to my hair. It didn’t matter that I worked hard to represent a company within a new workplace (translation: being outsourced like I'm a reconditioned car tire). I had to contend with a few other employees who’d been there a little longer than me. I was the recent arrival. There to represent an account, and one of them didn’t like it and this dislike manifest in amusing ways; she’d sit on the telephone for long non work related slogs, at least until my phone would ring nonstop; all the calls would be funneled through to my line as no other line would be available. In meetings, she’d come out with things like, ‘well I...
More About: Hair , Tales

Give me the Mediocre Sex...
2007-10-23 06:41:00
A TV channel has Shirley Bassey playing - greatest hits. It’s a little after midnight. The James Bond theme arises, and her velvet larynx soars, offering a flawless crescendo that will leave you wondering why the fuck record companies sign up people like Courtney Love to screech, croak and souse themselves up on drugs. You only live twice, and I’m thinking that I’m barely living a quart. You only live twice. It’s like some mantra or pre-emptive warning. Cats have nine lives… Life has become this barbed wire trimmed treadmill. At one point in my early adulthood I’d fret about things like mediocre sex, or the sex you’d have just to divulge the tawdry details the following day, just so you can be a part of the evolved adults around you who are supposed to be experiencing all sorts of orgasms, ranging from the multiple to the Tantric continuum. Then you wake up, realize that it’s bullshit, that people will gloss up everything just to make a morsel of life be...
More About: Give , Mediocre