twisted thoughts within my four brick walls

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10 things i hate
2007-11-12 04:53:00
Deity.. the goddess of beauty and light... tagged everybody who lurks under her radiance.. and since i hardly have time for anything.. why not make this post an escape from all the ?chaos? of work. (erm, not your chaos, deity) and as a special additive, why not make this meme a list of 10 things i hate and love and just hate and just love? confused? erm so am i, i think. Coz this was way past due?Food: love and hate - street food ? and I found the perfect blog who posted them all. [sari-sari store] tho i love the salty red egg, after seeing the pics on how it was made, erm.. i sorta changed my mind now. but i still love chicharon, quail eggs, pork isaw, fish/squidballs.. basically all those posted there except for erm.. addidas (chikcen feet), betamax (blood hardened and shaped in rectangular) and one day old chick! for the untrained eyes, those pics may all look gross.. but i love to eat them except the last 3 that i mentioned. Fruits: only love - actually, contrary to deity, i...
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photo friday: fantasy
2007-09-20 03:06:00
DARKNESS FELL :: WolfgangAnd so she woke up from a dreamThat was beautiful starry and so wildIt was all still clear in her eyesAnd though her mind was foggyAnd blank she wondered whyHer life couldn't be as lovelyit was time...There was this king he had no castle or throneBut his horse was great and whiteHe rode alone and liked it that wayBut when he met her he sworeHe would never leave her side...They rode across the landTwo lovers hand in handAnd no danger could come nearAnd when something made her cryShe'd look at him teary eyedAnd he would make her feel betterOh so much better so much better than beforeAnd now this forest was their homeIt was a night timeAnd the right time for loveIn the darkShe placed her hand upon his chestAnd all the rest just flowedMakin' love down under an ancient far away nightIt was so grand just holdin' someone's handAnd now safety came naturallyIt was so clear that she would neverever have to fearOh tell me a story of magic and spiraling shipsAnd st...
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moogie kissses
2007-09-06 20:07:00
what a nice surprise..."I think we dream so we dont have to be apart so long. If we're in each others deams, we can be together all the time." M O O G I E    S E V E N T H !pub-7079080684070653

Photo Friday: insignificant
2007-08-31 13:05:00
yes i believe that faith sees the invisible, believes the incredible and receives the impossible.. but tonight, i feel faith's insignificance as all the world around me revolves but me. pub-7079080684070653
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PhotoFriday: Unfinished
2007-08-29 11:15:00
Today, in the deepest abyss of my loneliness, in the endless pit I am falling into, a rope suddenly surfaced from the tedious plummet of my decline. A rope that was hanging from some two years ago. A forgotten page from my past, from a wrecked book that I buried with my hopes, with my passion. Thoughts clash within me as an argument linger in mind stating that nothing is impossible, but with the premise that nothing is real. I have met a destiny that once opened the doors for the resurrection of the unrevealed madness in me.And now that a tragedie is engulfing me, preventing me to settle down in the confines of my clouded dreams, I extended my arms and reached for the rope.An attempt that I know would scorn others and hurt my own being. But I need to know. I had the urge to seek. In the restlessness of my dawdling fall, I needed to feel the roughness, the tangles, and the tightness of this rope. I need to know that it is safe. That it is going to be ok. So forgive me if I held it an...
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Illo Friday: Visitors
2007-08-26 22:00:00
"walking thru the time machine"a camera paintingi used to watch a tv series entitled ?sliders? where a group of unlikely strangers got sucked into a warp vortex where they ?slide? through parallel dimensions or universes. they were sliding from one world to another in an endless search back home. [read about it here]what if there are really worlds parallel to ours? will there be another velvet living in a better world? or worse? would i ever switch places with her? or is her world a nice place to visit but would i like to live there? would she like to live here?pub-7079080684070653
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Photo Friday: Old
2007-08-22 08:07:00
"It haunts me, the passage of time. I think time is a merciless thing. I think life is a process of burning oneself out and time is the fire that burns you" - Tennessee Williams today is my birthday..and how i would loveto escape frommy busy city life..-----note: photo taken at the highest point of Tagaytay last year.. if i could only re-live that day, i won't change anything.. except to make time longer..pub-7079080684070653
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Illo Friday: Captain
2007-08-18 22:00:00
O Captain , My Captain..Papers flying overhead crawled up as a ball or folded as an airplane. A scream came from the front-seated girls as they giggle and talk about their summer puppy loves and silly boys from the school next to ours. A girl showing off a new gadget her dad from abroad just sent, while on-lookers awed with admiration. Another girl ran after somebody who was laughing and skipping across the room, apparently she took something from her. And I, sitting by the back row doodling on the back page of my newly bought notebook, grinned. An abrupt pause almost numbed my ears, being used to the chaos of the room, I raised my head wondering why everyone went quiet. ?I wish I could stand on my desk and look at you all,? a modulated low voiced man in a Hawaiian shirt came walking in the classroom. ?Good morning class. I am professor Villegas and this is Economics. If this subject won?t change your life, I will. Dead poet?s honor.? These were the first words my Eco prof said back ...
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Illo Friday: Emergency
2007-08-15 16:19:00
The InterviewSwish! Zoomed the elevator. Ting! As the two mirrored doors parted ways right in front of me, I saw an empty room with plain white walls. A lone portrait of a woman hangs by the right and on my left, a glass wall with the encryption ?Je Maintiendrai? served as a divider for the corridor and a smaller room. Name please? A startling voice greeted me, without noticing that I have moved from the elevator unto the 26th floor lobby. As I gave out my name, a small piece of glossy paper was handed to me. V005, it read. It looked bigger than what is seen outside. This smaller room served as a waiting room for the people who will be interviewed. A big sign that says no mobile phones allowed welcomed everyone that comes through the door. I sat by a wooden chair at the farthest corner so I could see everything at front. Either that or I would like to avoid people staring at my back. A glace at my watch indicated that there was nothing else left to do. The windows will open after an...
More About: Friday , Merge , Emergency , Emerge

Illo Friday: Missing
2007-08-06 22:26:00
"missing the moon"500 x 670MS Paint-----note: the title came from one of my fave songs of the field mice. lyrics cant be found anywhere in the net so maybe i post it in a while. pls support them by buying the original. tc!pub-7079080684070653
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Moody Monday: Lonely
2007-08-01 08:37:00
feels so damn lonely without you..*.*pub-7079080684070653
More About: Moody , Monday , Lone , Onda , Lonely

Illo Friday: Moon
2007-07-28 23:44:00
i started blogging back in november of 2004 as a way of therapy. and looking back.. woah! it has been almost 3 years indeed and so much have changed in me! for my old readers.. you have seen me in my worst and best. thanks for sticking by through it all..i know this is an old illo and i posted this before back when illustration friday was just a page where posts per week hardly reached a hundred, and i havent even heard of flickr yet. but soon as i saw this week's topic i felt the urge to go back and in going back and seeing, reading, my old posts.. it's like flying to the moon and back indeed.. this is for you old and new IF artists.. it was fun and will always be fun learning with you all..520 x 740MS Paint-----note: pass by my old post for IF topic: small, december 1, 2005.pub-7079080684070653
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Photo Friday: Vacation
2007-07-24 14:25:00
"dive into the deep"the backgroundsaturates with the darkas the only light shimmer by the distancewe starethe calm breezeembraces us with maybesslowly fading with the nightand melts the past behindas we waitfor the million kisses to light the blue ashed skyand the sad sea awaits with uswaiting for us..to take a leapand dive in deepinto its vast depthswithout seeing whats beneathbut remain knowingthat as we divethere is no turning backand all that was left all that was gonewas all worth it.-----note: this is a tribute to the anniversary of my vacation to Palawan with Ambres. photo taken exactly last year at Puerto Princesa, just behind the hotel where we stayed.pub-7079080684070653
More About: Photo , Vacation , Friday , Frida

illo friday: poem
2007-07-21 02:23:00
I had a dreamwe were walking by a riverstiffened by the snowI stopped and leaned over to look at the reflectionthe unbreakable ice shimmered clearYou bent down tooandthe smile on your face glowed with the faint sunthen I wondered as I felt the warmth of your handglide to mine ?the corners of my mouthinched and fluttered into a near smilehearing the hiss and whisper of collapsing leaves disturbed by the breezeand your breath,calmly panting beside my earechoes the desire triggering a distinct warmth insidethrough the reflectionwe saw each other?s souland all around uslike an immense and endless ocean was a great soundless void that swallowed our voice, our vocabulary, our thoughts? in that surreal momentin a silence that spoke a thousand wordsI knew this was the place where I want to bewith this gentle mutely lit surroundingsholding the fire that does not die downdespite the distance, despite time.And so I wondered, yes, in my dream I wondered -that I would either weep or succumb to t...
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.seven.. seven.. seven..
2007-07-07 01:25:00
seven thousand kisses, then another seven hundred,then yet another thousand, then a second hundred.. we will mix them all up so that we don't know,and so that no one can be jealous of us when he finds outhow many kisses we have shared...(7) pub-7079080684070653

illof friday: twist
2007-07-01 23:53:00
this is how twisted and strange i organize my chaotic life. don't ask me why..."twisted"MS Paint(orig. 800 x 600)pub-7079080684070653
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Illo Friday: Rejection
2007-06-17 21:19:00
The tragedie of working too hard,is to have your ideaseither rejected or stolen."we are our own blackhole"MS Paint + Picassa(orig. 590 x 720)Have you ever had that idea that creeps thru your head and makes you proud to think nobody ever thought of it before you? like a painting you've been wanting to do, or an invention you've been wanting to create... and you never told anyone because you haven't done it yet. what if, suddenly one unexpected day.. you glance upon a store in a mall.. and wala! your idea or concept have materialized right before your very eyes! tragic, isn't it?pub-7079080684070653
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Tribute for My Grandma
2007-06-14 05:42:00
Last Monday, my Grand ma passed away. She was my mother's aunt. She was 93 and she had a prosperous life. My Grandma and Grandpa never had kids of thier own. But living together for all those years, we have seen how they fell inlove and loved all over again each time they encounter trials.Today is her burrial. And eventhough my Grandpa is left alone, I know that the memories of their centennial love will remain in him.I found this vid on youtube and evenif I usually post things that I found and liked over the net on another blog, I consider this day as one of those dark days where I realize how precious life really is, that we shouldn't waste any minute of it. And that the decisions we choose today will make us who we will be and be with in the future. For both my Grandparents, I know you have found peace.. and separation will really never keep you apart.-----vid note: Explosions in the Sky - "Your Hand In Mine"pub-7079080684070653
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Illo Friday: Cars
2007-05-28 08:20:00
for illustration friday topic cars, and how you ride your lifesometimes, i feel guilty to myself. will i ever make a living out of the things i love to do? or just as always, learn to love the things that i do that earns a living?sometimes i envy the painters, poets and writers, who just sit back and do these things that they most enjoy and still make it from day to day.sometimes society forces us not to be ourselves just so we can survive. despite being adaptable, flexible and easily taught, we camouflage ourselves just to blend in.sometimes i lack the time for myself to ever pick up the pen and write down my thoughts. and oh, how i would love to paint again! but it's the daily errands and my job that's keeping me from myself.sometimes i say to myself, it's all a matter of managing time. but time cannot be bought and time cannot be brought back.sometimes, the day pass by in a robotesque way that time easily slip without knowing how it breezed out so fast.sometimes, yes, sometime...
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Moody Monday: Light
2007-04-30 17:25:00
This is how i play with light..-----note: here's another stars are insane - camera painting for ya'll.. also my entry for this week's Mood y Monday pub-7079080684070653
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illo friday: polar
2007-04-25 00:08:00
?I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness because it shows me the stars.? - Og Mandino"the stars are insane"a camera painting by using the light from a mobile phone, a mirror, a dark room and a digital cam as a paintbrush tossed around the air thru an invisible canvass, i paint using light in extreme and indefensible polar positions, pleasuring the eyes with opposite extremes.. what the stars cannot shed light on, the heart can feel.pub-7079080684070653
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Photo Friday: The Blues
2007-04-18 04:58:00
touched by the tragedie..let us pause, and give a moment of silencefor all the souls who departed this material world,to those who may have gone to a better place,that they may find peace.peace,that will never be of this worldnor of this time..-----note: my contribution to Photo Frida y and Moody Monday: Disorganized, for only in unity will we prevent such occurrences in the future... as I send my condolences to the friends and relatives of the victims of the VA Tech Tragediepub-7079080684070653
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Illo Friday: Fortune
2007-04-14 06:24:00
sometimes in life, the fates would lead you to your unplanned destination, it's not luck, it's not coincidence, it's simply inevitable. and it's just a matter of seeing, feeling and accepting what comes..."did she cast such a shadow?"MS Paint(orig. 840 x 650)-----note: to be honest, this is what my previous entry "when kaleidoscopes color the night" looked like before transforming it into patterns.pub-7079080684070653
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Moody Monday: Masculine
2007-04-12 11:11:00
"At least you must know that whoever frees me from life will deliver me from the greatest suffering. What I may afterwards incur in uncertain, but from what I shall be set free is not in question. Every unhappy life is happy in its ending, and those who feel true sympathy and pain for the anxieties of others want to see this ended, even to their own loss, if they really love those they see suffer and think more of their friends' advantage than of their own."-----note: my first entry for Mood y Monday text taken from Letter 5: Abelard to Heloise (To the Bride of Christ, from His servant)pub-7079080684070653
More About: Line , Onda

Illo Friday: Green
2007-04-10 13:07:00
The Stars turn around the pole, and the moon colours the night,But that star is fading that should be my guide.Now, if through the repeating shadows, my own star should appear,No longer will my mind know the darkness of grief.You to me are Lucifer, who must banish the night.Without you day is night to me, with you night is splendid day."when kaleidoscopes color the night"MS Paint(orig. 970 x 590)-----note: text above is an excerpt from the "Lost Love Letters" of Heloise and Abelard. Through their impassioned writings unfolds the story of romance, adoration, devotion and grief, from its reckless, ecstatic beginnings through a public scandal, an enforced marriage and its devastating consequences. Somehow, their tragedie inspired this illo which I did just now.pub-7079080684070653
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illo friday: snap
2007-04-05 00:30:00
twice drowned, now this catnine lives cutde ja vu, i snap!pub-7079080684070653
More About: Snap , Friday , Frida

Photo Friday: Growth
2007-04-03 16:18:00
it is unusual for me to post flowers.. but this kindles to my fancy. for this peculiar flower is akin to a woman so familiar to me, an exotic species growing amongst congested air and with little or no sunshine, but still endures these harsh factors and manages to stand out and be beautiful, bold and admired. *.*pub-7079080684070653
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Lens Day: Architecture
2007-03-29 22:20:00
A pedestal is as much a prison as any small, confined space. - Gloria SteinemJust a thought: Funny how the majority tend to secretly condemn those on a pedestal and commend them right in front. They just do not know how hard it is to stay there. Especially for someone who can't reach down as much as he wished he could. -----note: my entry for this week's Lens Daypub-7079080684070653
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Photo Friday: Sentimental
2007-03-23 01:07:00
Lost by the wind's invisibilityconsumed by sorrowin a different planeto places unknownconstantly in a monotoneyearning for heights againin the brink of frightand invulnerabilityup in a muzzleclinched, tied, twisted,shivering as flownablaze by the fumeof the fraudulent illusionof holding back that thoughtwhile in deep motionthus losing myselfin the deception of truthmocking the steadfast redemption;will I be ruinedas I devotiously cascadethe horizon’s silvertoneor would I just melt away?stretching frail reasondelusive and vagueas the wind deliberately sweep meinto its absorbing compassionincreasing and increasingand in abrupt pause I ignitein the presence of nothing…-----note: updated the perfect image for this entry.. [best viewed large]i posted this poem last friday and as i was traveling yesterday, i chanced upon this melancholic scenery. so i took my digicam and made the scene permanently available. it's just so rare to see such beautiful cloud formations, add the leafless ...
More About: Photo , Mental , Time , Men , Sentimental

Photo Friday: Addiction
2007-03-16 00:23:00
yes, this is my addiction. randomly moving my camera in slow shutter to create trail lines from scarcely available light. Sometimes I use artificial light, like LEDs and my mobile phone, sometimes thru the limited sunlight beaming through my reddish curtains. and sometimes making use of a mirror for that too. and now my addiction moved one step further, as i use my ever-reliable MS paint. for those who have seen my previous entries for illustration friday, 85-90% of the time, i use MS paint. it was only in my recent entries that I posted my light paintings.i know this is photo Frida y indeed. but here, i took a photo of my PC’s monitor after painting some lines on MS paint. and all lights off.pub-7079080684070653
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