Jelly Beans, Jelly Babies and 69 Tragic Love Songs

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Nah.
2007-09-09 00:50:00
It's Saturday night, and, by all rights, I guess I should be out on the town, but for some reason I can't seem to findthe enthusiasm for anythign at this moment in time. Can anyone help?

Dear Jim, can you fix it for me....?
2007-08-04 21:26:00
(Before I begin: I apologise to those of you who have no idea what I'm on about: Jim'll Fix It was a British kids TV show in the 1980s/1990s, where kids wrote to Jim- a white-haired bloke in a shellsuit with a medallion- and asked him to make their dreams come true. Whether it was swimming with the dolphins, or meeting a pop star, no dream was too big or small for Jim...)Dear Jim,I hope you don't mind me writing you a letter- I know I might be a bit old, but I'd really like you to fix it for me to be back at Roskilde. I might have moaned about being cold and wet, and about the fact that my tent flooded, but I just can't seem to get over the fact that I'm back on dry land and I have to wait another 11 months before I can be back in front of the dreaming spires of the Orange stage, or staring at the ceiling and drifting away into a land of twee in front of the Pavillion.I know the Official RF people have kindly provided us with a very nice, shiny forum (which I use a lot, I prom...

Sometimes you need to meet someone it won't last with to realise it's all g
2007-07-16 09:54:00
Excuse me if I don?t seem like myself today (I'm writing this on Sunday, but dating it Monday when I'm at work)? I feel like I?m melting, and have spent the whole day lying on my bed, trying to escapr the close heat,. Where the HELL did this come from?! After a week and a bit in Roskilde (where I managed to go rusty- that?s get a tan to the rest of you?even though I resolutely DO NOT tan), I?ve started to get nostalgic for disgustingly cold (I have mittens!) rain and metre upon metre of mud?The guy this is about is probably aware this is about him; I have a lot to thank him for. I?m not entirely sure whether he realises that, though. I guess he?s half-wondering how he?ll be portrayed- it?d be pretty easy to portray him as a love rat (sadly, we were both aware of the fact that he had a partner-please don?t judge me on this!) or to berate myself about the whole thing. I don?t find either of those things particularly interesting- I guess I find the lessons that we both learned from o...
More About: Meet , Some

What a way to tell a girl... (part 51)
2007-07-15 19:52:00
Monday morning, a few months ago. I?m at work. As ever, I have MSN in the background, just in case anyone interesting or exciting decides to pop up. Sadly, the ex decides to sign on.Me: Hey.Him: Hey?Me: How was Switzerland?Him: Good.Me: Busy?Him: I fell in love with someone else over the weekend.Me: Oh?........Me: OK?Him: Yes.Me: Is she Swiss?Him: No.Me: Oh, so ??Him: You know her.??I feel sick.Correction: I don?t feel as sick as I thought I would, but I do feel the need to throw things at him.I?m not sure what to say, as I think I know exactly who he?s talking about.Him: Are you still there? You asked me to tell you first????Tink?..??Me: Sure I am.Him: I really hope that this doesn?t change our friendship?Me: Of course it will. Things will change. I need time.Him: It?s? (I?ve censored the name etc here)All I really want to ask is whether they shagged when I was at his flat when she was apparently ?heartbroken?, and they spent the night together in his room? did they? Did they? Di...
More About: Girl , Part , Tell

Eeek...
2007-07-14 07:51:00
As some of you may or may not know, I?ve been pretty much broken-hearted for a long while (I can hear the cries now: what?you? Broken hearted? Someone finally managed to pierce the layer of steel?! Sadly, they did, and I?m sure it explains a lot in terms of my blogging absence for the past months? sadly, he screwed up my head to such a degree I couldn?t even really write?and then had the cheek to declare himself one of my best mates and couldn?t understand why I was so upset. Strangely we get on OK now, but it?s a tale for some other time when it?s all less?raw?) but a few things have happened lately to make me reassess everything? I?ll probably get onto them later, though.Looking back over the time I?ve written this, a lot has changed, and many of the people I mentioned are no longer in my life for one reason or another, and there are others who have taken their place. There are people I have, of course, been glad to see the back of and others I regret losing. There?s a great many...

"Honey, I have Herpes" (part 50?)
2007-03-25 05:59:00
I started this in October, and left it as a draft for some reason- maybe because it involves he who shall not be named, who, if I'm honest with myself, I'm still madly in love with and don;t want to let go, despite the fact that there's only the minutest chance that he'll wake up to himself and realise that I feel the way I do and he's made a mistake. Ho hum. Enough dwelling on that fact...Now, it might seem like i have an unhealthy fascination with STDs, but I don't. I promise. I've never had one (that reminds me of a conversation I had with a Danish friend shortly after the whole crabs incident- he asked me if I;d ever had them, and, if I hadn't,how did I know about them) nor do I want to have one. Anyway, another tale of woe...It;s a rainy Wednesday in October (one of the few rainy nights- at the time, we were still on a drought order due to lack of rain) and I'm talking to...christ, I should give him a name, and, although a lot of you know him by his real name...well......
More About: Honey , Part , Have , Herpes

Sometimes it's best to write these things a bit pi...
2007-03-25 05:39:00
Sometimes it's best to write these things a bit pissed. it;s 3:30 as the clocks went forwrd, so I really should go to bed, but I'm not tired. It doesn;t matter so uch if I fall asleep in bed with my laptop on my lap- at least I'll be warm!
More About: Time , Write , Best , Times , Things

Uh oh. I'm all serious again...
2007-03-24 02:35:00
Apologies that I've not told you anything for a long while (I haven't just been concentrating on the danish project, flouncing off all over the place and working like a bastard all the time, y'know)- a lot seems to have been happening and I didn't really feel like I could tell you what was happening when it was happening. At least, I didn't feel as if I could commit it to paper whilst it was still in progress. To some degree, it still is, but I've been feeling a huge urge to write more lately after a period of inactivity...I guess the last you'd heard from me was that I'd fallen in love- the perfect ending fro a Bridget Jones story, you might say. Except this wasn't. It was more like...well...more like a false start, full of promise that, sadly, was prematurely (and some might say abruptly and counter-intuitively) ended. I'm sure many of you will know the story behind this already, but, maybe one day, when I've had some time, I'll tell you about it.I really can't say an...
More About: Serious , Again , Uh Oh

After another short break, PPC is back up and runn...
2007-03-20 02:16:00
After another short break, PPC is back up and running again (and yes, I'll keep to my promises...) with a little post about various people we love :) As ever, if you've got any suggestions, let me know- either by email or to the Myspace (http://www.myspace.com/pastriespepperand canals)On a more personal note, Jelly Beans, Jelly Babies and 69 Tragic Love Songs (i.e. this site)is also back up again- it's been a bit neglected in recent months due to various things going on in my life (and I know I've been awful at keeping in touch- I'm sure many of you can work out to why I haven't blogged anything on JJ69TLS lately...it's not hard to work out if you know what's been happening...). As before, please don't go looking at it unless you really don't mind seeing yourself portrayed in a way that you may not like. It's not often that it happens (and I've had no complaints) but it's always worth warning you before you take a look...
More About: Other , Break , Back , Another , After

A whole lot's been going on at my other blog..
2007-01-29 01:40:00
A few things before we get back to business (almost) as usual (although the post may be a few fewer, now that I have a grown up job once more...)Liga (the world's nicest music show) now have a blog. Go visit here , and, if you're anything like me, have fun trying to decode what the hell's going on as your Danish is so appalling. Alternatively, wow yourself with the fact that their music taste is pretty much the same as mine... BTW, if anyone does want to send anything, either email for an address, contact PPC via Myspace or leave a comment. I apologise to anyone I've missed lately- you have to remind me... I would suggest smoke signals, but somehow that might ot be an option...One or two quick shouts: Factory45 really are the cutest thing to come into my life since Charlie, Don't Surf (who deserve a huge thank you for all their help and encouragement). I managed to catch them playing the meatmarket that is Lades in December (the same night that I managed to get horribly drunk w...
More About: Other , Blog , Hole , Whole , Been

WOW!
2007-01-28 11:36:00
PPC is famous!Liga have linked to itIt's official.They're (we're) all in love with Kristian Leth... temporarily at leastNo argument.Oooohh...it's enough to warm a girl's heart!
More About: Wow

Are those breasts real?
2007-01-20 06:01:00
So I'm back, after a multitude of trips all over the place, and having my heart broken. Oh, and getting a new job...The world has seriously gone mad.To be honest, I can't say that I'vereally thought about my breasts (except for when I'm buying shirts, when people bring them up, or when I wear my Wolfkin top which SOMEONE managed to make entirely skintight...) Someone obviously has, though...Imagine the scene. Florida, a calm, clear unseasonably warm (28c) Sunday, and, as I've got the day off, I've decided to go swimming and watch two of my colleagues play tennis. Sitting by the side of the pool, trying to rid myself of cramp, I notice a woman staring at my chest. I half-assume that I'm showing a bit too much flesh, so I look down and try to adjust myself.There's nothing showing, and the woman approaches me.Being away from home (albeit on a business trip), I do a very-unBritish thing, and smile, before she comes straight out with it:"Excuse me, but who's your surgeon..? I t...
More About: East , Breast , Breasts , Real , Those

The there's the significantly horrendous number of...
2007-01-19 22:47:00
The there's the significantly horrendous number of Floridans who seem to find a British accent and a chest a reason to ask someone for a date. I stopped counting when it had reached 2 a day, including one when I first stepped off the plane (and looked a mess- Orlando airport is a hellhole, as, if you're an international traveller, you have to take your baggage off one carousel only to put it on another, and have to travel another 15 mins, only to find that you have to wait another 45 for your luggage...) another when I was trying to book in to my (non-existent) hotel room (they'd lost the booking...if it wasn't for my boss, I'd be screwed...) and another when I was in mid-mouthful in the restaurant....
More About: Numb , Sign , Here , The The , There

So it's been an odd few months...
2007-01-15 02:52:00
OK folks, so it really has been one of those strange times, and I've hardly been at home, after being rushed off to Denmark for a weekend mid-December (where, eek, I said a few things that I think I might be regretting, and made friends with a drunken Swedish hockey team before alighting for a meatmarket- where I was approached 12 times in one hour, including one guy who wouldn;t stop stroking my arm...yuck..- commonly nicknamed Bin Laden's Cellar, eating 10 hotdogs alone, as I was so drunk- Lasse can testify to that- and then being rediscovered by the drunken Swedes until I had to pick up some friends at the train station), to Hamburg at new year, and, when I'd barely recovered, off to Orlando for work stuff (talking about medical books in the middle of the Disney World resort, natch, but more of that later...) It's not like I'm quite finished yet, though.... I'm off to Hamburg again in less than a fortnight, and the far flung corners of the British Isles come calling soon fo...
More About: Been , Months , Month , Mont

A few things I want to tell you...
2006-12-02 15:35:06
It seems to be somewhat de rigeur at the moment to make lists of universal truths, so here's the first part of my passing of wisdom...Here's a few things I've learnt in the past few months...The line "I'm a hermaphrodite", or implying that you are never fails to scare creepy blokes off in clubs......unless they're seriously scaryNever eat more than one Mini Baybel at a time, or you'll end up making models with the wax stuff, and then sticking it to your window, where it'll invariably stay until the end of time as noone can get it off...Always listen to your mother- and then do the opposite. She invariably grew up in a different world to you.Start getting worried who preciosly thought you were clinically insane start telling people that you're "lovely". The invariably want something.When you come back from the US with more than 8 packs of Oreos in your suitcase, customs start to wonder what's going on.If a guy sends you a ring when you've already said no to his proposal, ge...
More About: Things , Want , Thing , Tell

Odd feelings
2006-12-02 15:35:06
I had a very odd feeling today. No real reason, but I was clearing out the attic (I know, it seems to be a neverending task...it is a bank holiday, though) when I realised it was 5 years since I split up with my first love (who noone sees or hears from any longer..) I say it's odd because he's not really someone I think about too much any longer.Sure, I've been a singleton for a large proportion of the intervening time, but I've a feeling that I know myself a hell of a lot better than he does right now. It always made me annoyed when I thought about the time when a mutual friend asked me "Well, you didn't expect to be together forever, did you?". I guess I was always a bit too embarrassed to admit I did. Maybe that was naive, or maybe, just maybe I still have some (misguided?) belief that the "one" exists.Maybe I'm still naive. I don't know. But I'm sure as hell glad that we DID split, because without him I wouldn't be where I am. It may not be great, but it's much better ...
More About: Feeling , Feel , Feelings

So I met a guy...
2006-12-02 15:35:06
...and I'm not sure how to feel about it. My head's a mess, my heart won't stop pounding and my stomach falls through the floor whenever I get a text or email from him. I can't sleep (although that's normal for me), I don't want to eat, and...could it be that I'm starting to thaw? As ever, there's an obstacle (distance, this time, in case you're interested)... Much as I want to visit him, things are a wee bit complicated at the moment- I need to find a new job, and get some money together before I can do anything. Besides, I'm going to Copenhagen in 2 weeks (Hm... Maybe I could persuade him to meet me there..)As ever, I shared the news with friends, and...well, as expected, it's a mixed bag. Brigitta's "Go for it, at least he's cute and single...what harm could it do?" is equally tempered by moans of "Ok....are you sure?". Faith's general silence on pretty much every matter since we came back from Roskilde (it's either boyfriend-itus or I've upset her. I'm not sure....
More About: T A G

I'm mad about the boy....
2006-12-02 15:35:06
So I'm still in a daze and he seems to be occupying my every thought. I'm distracted and feel different, but noone's really noticed. I guess I've been a bit quieter over these past few weeks anyway. I'll tell everyone when I;ve had time to take it in...I can't eat, I can't sleep, I'm in a daze. I'm even making a CD (the'00s equivilent of the C90 mixtapes that were so popular in the '80s) after talking to him for 4 (yes, 4) hours...I can't help but think that this might be the start of something beautiful...Faith and I sat in a pub at new year, and discussed what we thought might happen- we both had a strange feeling that this year is going to be our year. And, in a way, I think we may have been right.. It might not have seemed it- losing my job et al, but... sigh. I think he's about to turn it upside down...I guess when you're mad about a boy, you look for signs everywhere, even in the stars... apparently we're made to be together...Cancer knows the way to your Taurus...
More About: About , The Boy

Ove r the past few years, I know I;ve had a tendan...
2006-12-02 15:35:06
Ove r the past few years, I know I;ve had a tendancy to deviate somewhat from my primary topic- OK, so we've had the love songs and the chat up lines and...I've had a few enquiries form publishers who wanted me to re-write the love songs- a sort of single girl's parable, although much more structured. I've always resisted though, as it hasn't been what I want it to be...Ho hum.Here we go again...
More About: Tend , Past , Know , Years , Year

Maybe I have a muse...
2006-12-02 15:35:06
I always used to wonder why I got hurt- afterall, it takes me a long time to expose my heart to anyone, and when I do, I wear it on my sleeve. I guess that, along with the importance I place upon base honesty may have something to do with it. Anyway, enough of that-I don't want to write about wearing my heart on my sleeve ,or why I get hurt- I'm fully aware that I've covered that one several million times over- but rather why I need that extra something...Most people tend to let me have things my own way- maybe they're scared by my intensity or something, and I've come to realise how much that bores me. The fact that I'm fully aware that I'm constantly being bullshitted, and that I'm bullshitting back (they're scared,I'm bored...think about it) depresses me- it annoys me that people don't see what really is important to me. Since I originally wrote this piece, I've spoken to a good friend who pointed out that the best people to surround yourself with are the ones who don...
More About: Maybe , Muse , Have

Three hopeful words...
2006-12-02 15:35:06
A wise man once said that what seem to be the three smallest words in the English language are also the three largest- I love you. Now, I guess I could go into a huge amount of depth about the etymology or the pragmatic/semantic meaning of abstract concepts (just what is "love"? How do we know what the word signifies even if we haven't felt the emotion? Can a word describe an emotion?) but I fear that both you and I would fall into the kind of slumber thus far only induced unto those who've see a Channel 5 afternoon movie or listened to early morning radio 4, and you'd never wake up. I'm not uite ready to be responsible for your impending coma- I'd feel like I was prolonging matterss I feel obliged to supply you with references to long forgotten papers by various semanticists, pragmaticists and philiosphers with strange names and far too much time on their hands. No, my dears, that just wouldn't do.It's a uestion I've discussed with you all a great many times, and tends to ...
More About: Word , Words , Hope , Hopeful , Three

Why every single girl needs a camera phone on nights out...(
2006-12-02 15:35:06
It's been a while since I've told you any of these, I know, and I guess my mushy-pea-brained-loved-up state has prevented me from remembering any of the stories I've not told you (although many of them actually aren't my stories) in months previous....She sat, waiting in the foyer of the bar, waiting for a guy she knew only as Fabio who she's met in a club a few nights previously. He'd called her a few days later, and she'd gratefully accepted his invitation, as things had been a little bit slow lately. He'd been fun in the club, although she'd been pretty drunk, but...what's the worst that could happen?From what she could recall, he was stylish, dark, Italian and handsome... although she had had a few to drink at the time. That's the problem with these things. She was pretty sure that he wasn't short, bleached and tanned, and that was reassurance enough for her that the across the bar staring at her wasn't who she was waiting for. Thank God. She really could do without...
More About: Phone , Camera , Night , Girl , Sing

Ouch...
2006-12-02 15:35:06
I know I've been a bit quiet lately, but there have been varioous reasons for that- the neverending job search, the whole relationship (or rather non-relationship) thing, the book, and that fact that I've been trying to get my head round various things. Normally I'd write about them, but, for some reason, there are a lot of things that I've not felt as if I've been able to write about. Who knows when I will be able to write about the, but I' going to try damn hard to try to break this block over the next few days....
More About: Ouch

And so it continues. With a new man comes a new se...
2006-12-02 15:35:06
And so it continues. With a new man comes a new set of friends to meet, greet, and, hopefully befriend. Along with that, of course come nerves...
More About: Come , Conti

I wish I could fly...No you don't!
2006-12-02 15:35:06
I admit it- I've been pretty terrible at keeping this updated.In between looking for a new job (it's August, nothing exists, but it's all picking up), writing the new blog, catching up with ridiculous amounts of reading, trying to learn HTML and catching up with the piles of music I haven't really given a chance (all I felt like listening to during my initial redundancy was "A Better Son/Daughter" by Rilo Kiley, "The Bank and Trust" by the Elected, and "Nothing Gets Crossed Out" by Bright Eyes, "The Quiz" by Hello Saferide and by "She Teaches Art" Park Ave... all of which seemed hopelessly poignant at the time), falling in- (and out) of lust and gaining a few more friends (or even discovering ones that I hadn't thought of as friends)... I've been... well.... trying to forget it all, I guess.The dreaded insomnia's back, and really isn't helped by a house alarm across the road that's taken to going off at 1:30am, 3am and 4:30am every single night (note to self: peeling the ke...
More About: Wish

Here's a few more...
2006-12-02 15:35:06
Here's a few more universal truths... Never reveal any indecretions with famous or semi-famous people (even if you're drunk) that you're not prepared to admit to when sober. If you do tell said stories, sometimes it's better not to reveal who it is (if people are drunk) because they won't remember the story and it can't come back and bite you.Mixing Gammel Dansk and Chocolate Milk is foul... no matter how drunk you areIf you try to be funny, or strange or whatever, people will see through it. Better to be yourself. Even if you do find your own company boring.That stupid diet coke thing is neither clever no funny. Never ask anyone if they're an MI5 recruiter, and, if so, where can you sign. It makes you look like a dick. Even if you are one, you REALLY don't want to look that way. People will dine out on the fact that you;re so stupid for years to come...Never listen to a friend who says she won't become obsessed with her boyfriend and lose touch with her mates. If she has t...
More About: Here , More

What are you supposed to do when a (supposedly) cl...
2006-12-02 15:35:06
What are you supposed to do when a (supposedly) close friend changes their number and doesn't tell you (despite knowing that you want to get in touch)? Is it so wrong to feel upset?
More About: What , Hat , When , Pose , To Do

Who writes these things?!
2006-12-02 15:35:06
My fortune for the past few days had beenA long, lost love will cross your pathUnless my long lost love is one of my parents, someone in the netherworld of Myspace or Dick Van Dyke in Diagnosis Murder, I don't see how that could happen...Hmph. Who writes these things?!
More About: Write , Things , Thing , These

MI5 and drinks: a clarification
2006-12-02 15:35:06
It;s confuse me a bit. No, it wasn't me. I wasn't involved. I have a friend who dines out on that story, and it was my ex best mate. Got it???
More About: Drink , Cat , Drinks , Clar

I've been wondering lately about the point of thin...
2006-10-28 00:26:00
I've been wondering lately about the point of things. No, don't worry, I;m not about to treat you to an in-depth philosophical discussion on the point of life, and the futility of what we do- I'm FAR too drunk to do that, and besides, I'm thinking in more specific terms (specifically, as ever, relationships).I guess I've found myself in a somewhat bizarre situation...
More About: About , Ring , Wonder , Point , Lately