In the Life of a Child In the Life of a Child An inside view to the joys of parenting with a sense of humor in a family with two children under the age of five - one with significant medical challenges. Written by a Christian mom surviving on humor and God's grace. Welcome to an inside view of Articles
Jacqui-isms:
2007-07-16 02:02:00 *No eating marshmallows with your toes. It's not a very good idea.*Watch out for bumbly bees. Dey'll stink ya - Peeeeewwww!!*You havta wash your hands after you go potty. It's da Ten Ammandments!*Kermit crabs have very 'crusty-shins'!*(After reminding her to ask to be excused from the table...) Okay (sigh...). May I be a goose please? Honk, Honk!*(When I was pregnant...) Mommy have a baby inner tummy. Mommy eat a baby.*(To another pregnant lady...) You eat a baby too?*What's at da China Forest? (referring to a local amusement park called The Enchanted Forest) I dunno... China people, maybe?*(In response to a baby crying at the doctor's office...) Sumbuddy give dat baby a sammich!*(At a rest stop...) Look Mommy! I making snow angels on da floor!*(At rest stop number two...) Look Mommy! Magic Toelets!! Dey already have potty in 'em! (I replied that they were not most emphatically NOT magic toilets. She in turn asked, "Who do dat den?" I responded, "Moral degener... More About: Spice , What in the World
Jacqui-isms:
2007-07-16 02:02:00 *No eating marshmallows with your toes. It's not a very good idea.*Watch out for bumbly bees. Dey'll stink ya - Peeeeewwww!!*You havta wash your hands after you go potty. It's da Ten Ammandments!*Kermit crabs have very 'crusty-shins'!*(After reminding her to ask to be excused from the table...) Okay (sigh...). May I be a goose please? Honk, Honk!*(When I was pregnant...) Mommy have a baby inner tummy. Mommy eat a baby.*(To another pregnant lady...) You eat a baby too?*What's at da China Forest? (referring to a local amusement park called The Enchanted Forest) I dunno... China people, maybe?*(In response to a baby crying at the doctor's office...) Sumbuddy give dat baby a sammich!*(At a rest stop...) Look Mommy! I making snow angels on da floor!*(At rest stop number two...) Look Mommy! Magic Toelets!! Dey already have potty in 'em! (I replied that they were not most emphatically NOT magic toilets. She in turn asked, "Who do dat den?" I responded, "Moral degener...
Life's a Gregorian Opera
2007-07-12 02:04:00 Lately, Jacqui's chosen form of communication has been through singing. Everything. All day. That would be odd enough in and of itself, however, for reasons that I fail to understand, everything is sung to to tune of something sounding for all the world like an ancient Greg or ian chant:"Mahhh-ha-ha-ha-mie, I cleee-hee-heend my roooooom...""Ky-hi-hi-hi-elle, don't tuh-uh-uhhhch my stuff...""Da caaa-ha-ha-ha-haaaaat is stuu-huh-huh-huhh-uck in da claw-haw-haw-hawset..."Every 'verse' compells me against my will to answer, "Ahhhhh-ha-ha-ha-mennnnn..."I've tried interesting her in alternate music genres, but no, the Gregorian chant suits her just fine, thank you.Did I miss something somewhere? Is there a Gregorian Backyardigans episode somewhere that I'm not aware of? Have the Wiggles gone completely off the deep end when I wasn't looking?Oh well, I suppose I should go get "Diiii-iiii-iiii-iiin-nerrrr rehh-heh-heh-heh-deeeee." I can hardly wait for "behh-heh-heh-hed timmmmmm... More About: Opera
Life's a Gregorian Opera
2007-07-12 02:04:00 Lately, Jacqui's chosen form of communication has been through singing. Everything. All day. That would be odd enough in and of itself, however, for reasons that I fail to understand, everything is sung to to tune of something sounding for all the world like an ancient Gregor ian chant:"Mahhh-ha-ha-ha-mie, I cleee-hee-heend my roooooom...""Ky-hi-hi-hi-elle, don't tuh-uh-uhhhch my stuff...""Da caaa-ha-ha-ha-haaaaat is stuu-huh-huh-huhh-uck in da claw-haw-haw-hawset..."Every 'verse' compells me against my will to answer, "Ahhhhh-ha-ha-ha-mennnnn..."I've tried interesting her in alternate music genres, but no, the Gregorian chant suits her just fine, thank you.Did I miss something somewhere? Is there a Gregorian Backyardigans episode somewhere that I'm not aware of? Have the Wiggles gone completely off the deep end when I wasn't looking?Oh well, I suppose I should go get "Diiii-iiii-iiii-iiin-nerrrr rehh-heh-heh-heh-deeeee." I can hardly wait for "behh-heh-heh-hed timmmmmm... More About: Opera , Spice , Musicals , What in the World
You Shouldn't Oughta Try N' Pet Bumbly Bees Mom!
2007-07-10 06:33:00 The other night we decided to catch up on yard work. I had pulled a total of three weeds when I noticed that the two large ferns in our front yard next to the wooden retaining wall had some scruffy fronds that could use trimming. I headed over with my shears. I made a couple of snips and then felt a sharp stab on the back of my left hand through my gardening gloves. I yelped and backed up, looking to see where the blackberry bush was hiding. Another sharp stab - OW, OW, OW!! It wasn't a blackberry bush. I looked down at my hand and there was a yellow jacket industriously jabbing away!I flung him to the ground and ran into the house to get some ice, benadryl and an enzyme paste started. As I was standing at the sink I began dancing around against my will as I was zapped four more times in the low back. I had just dispatched the nasty little hymenopteron to the big bee-hive in the sky, when I felt more jabbing in my right leg. A third one. I saw it fly the other direction as I ran s... More About: Bees
You Shouldn't Oughta Try N' Pet Bumbly Bees Mom!
2007-07-10 06:33:00 The other night we decided to catch up on yard work. I had pulled a total of three weeds when I noticed that the two large ferns in our front yard next to the wooden retaining wall had some scruffy fronds that could use trimming. I headed over with my shears. I made a couple of snips and then felt a sharp stab on the back of my left hand through my gardening gloves. I yelped and backed up, looking to see where the blackberry bush was hiding. Another sharp stab - OW, OW, OW!! It wasn't a blackberry bush. I looked down at my hand and there was a yellow jacket industriously jabbing away!I flung him to the ground and ran into the house to get some ice, benadryl and an enzyme paste started. As I was standing at the sink I began dancing around against my will as I was zapped four more times in the low back. I had just dispatched the nasty little hymenopteron to the big bee-hive in the sky, when I felt more jabbing in my right leg. A third one. I saw it fly the other direction as I ran s... More About: Bees
...And Please Help Mommy Not to Be So Grouchy!
2007-07-09 16:46:00 This morning at breakfast, Jacqui was doing everything within her power to drive me crazy: Pouring salt out on the table runner, finger painting with her yogurt (she can have soy), and keeping up a constant barrage of, "May I? Please? Puh-leeeese? Why, why, why, why, why, why??""Please Jacqui, stop it.""But Mooommmm!!""Just stop. Eat your yogurt.""Don't want to. I wanna eat ice cubes for bekfast.""Breakfast is not a democracy. Eat your yogurt.""Dis bekfast is too crazy! I wanna eat ice cubes 'stead.""No more talking.""But why? Why, why, why, why, why??""Jacqueline Michelle - enough."I didn't yell, but there was an edge to my voice. Jacqui's eyes got really big and she clapped her hand over her mouth with a gasp. She narrowed her eyes and said, "Hmmmpphh!" as she jumped up from the table and darted down the hall to her room. I sat at the table, rubbing my temples for a minute then decided I better go deal with the attitude. I had just stood up when Jacqui came running back down t... More About: Mommy , Spice , Cuteness
...And Please Help Mommy Not to Be So Grouchy!
2007-07-09 16:46:00 This morning at breakfast, Jacqui was doing everything within her power to drive me crazy: Pouring salt out on the table runner, finger painting with her yogurt (she can have soy), and keeping up a constant barrage of, "May I? Please? Puh-leeeese? Why, why, why, why, why, why??""Please Jacqui, stop it.""But Mooommmm!!""Just stop. Eat your yogurt.""Don't want to. I wanna eat ice cubes for bekfast.""Breakfast is not a democracy. Eat your yogurt.""Dis bekfast is too crazy! I wanna eat ice cubes 'stead.""No more talking.""But why? Why, why, why, why, why??""Jacqueline Michelle - enough."I didn't yell, but there was an edge to my voice. Jacqui's eyes got really big and she clapped her hand over her mouth with a gasp. She narrowed her eyes and said, "Hmmmpphh!" as she jumped up from the table and darted down the hall to her room. I sat at the table, rubbing my temples for a minute then decided I better go deal with the attitude. I had just stood up when Jacqui came running back down t... More About: Mommy
Oooooo...Aaaahhhhh...
2007-07-07 09:12:00 The plan was to put Kyle to bed and let Jacqui stay up and watch fireworks. That was the plan, anyway. Kyle had other ideas. When the evening festivities started gearing up he wasn't about to be left sleeping - Not him! Soooo... We hauled a very sleepy Jacqui and a very wide awake Kyle out onto the lawn. Jacqui got earplugs and Kyle got earplugs plus Dad's 'cool' soundproof headset. Jacqui promptly fell asleep and grouched whenever anything got "too loud". Not Kyle - No way! He sat mesmerized by every "BOOM!" Whenever the sky lit up we could hear his little, "OOOOoooooo..." 's and "Ohhhhhhhh..." 's, uttered in a state of total awe. Watching his little face as it lit up in wonder under the glow of a Fourth of July sky was like seeing it all for the very first time. Thanks Kyle - you light up our world.parenting children motherhood kids baby christian Fourth of July fireworks Outdoors SAHM
Temporary Insanity
2007-07-03 23:00:00 Today while I was feeding Kyle his lunch, Jacqui was sleeping soundly on the couch, still struggling to overcome her recent run-in with a stomach flu bug. Kyle had almost finished when Jacqui suddenly jumped up off the couch and began running laps through the dining room, living room and kitchen. Our home contains the unfortunate design element of a circuitous path through the three rooms. As she ran, she repeatedly yelled, "Di-di-di-di-Dah-Doh!"I managed to stop her on about the fifth pass and asked her, "Jacqui, what are you saying?""Di-di-di-di-Dah-Doh.""What is that supposed to mean?"She gave me a confused look. "It means I'm silly."She immediately resumed running laps and yelling at the top of her lungs. Then, after three laps she stopped just as suddenly as she started, curled back up on the couch, and went right back to sleep.I guess she's starting to feel a little better. Silly as she is, I've missed her nonsense. It's good to know she's still in there somewhere and tha... More About: Insanity , Spice , What in the World , Temp
Times Two . . .
2007-06-30 04:25:00 Well, It's official. Kyle has the bug too.I was right. Today was no fun either. More About: Times , Blue Moods
Sick Day
2007-06-29 10:23:00 Today was not fun. Tomorrow will not likely be either.Many of you who visit this site know that Jacqui has some feeding complications, one of those complications being a diagnosis of Cyclic Vomiting Syndrome (CVS). CVS symptoms mean different things in different people, but with Jacqui, it means that she goes from being bright, sunny and energetic to very near catatonic. Like the flip of a switch. When she was really little, she used to have a week-long episode every other week. Most people with CVS have prolonged episodes of nausea and vomiting. Jacqui cannot throw up because of a procedure she had to have at 18 months old called a Nissen Fundalplication. Jacqui just curls into a ball and suffers.Things with Jacqui's CVS symptoms have been well controlled since learning at age three that wheat (gluten), dairy (casein), and feeding volume are the main triggers to her CVS symptoms. We can control those things. However, exposure to stomach flu symptoms is something that w... More About: Sick , Blue Moods , K Day
Where's Da Budderfly?
2007-06-27 23:29:00 Jacqui greeted me with even more than her usual enthusiasm this morning..."Mom! I finded somethin' when I was playin' in da backyard yesterday!""Oh, really? What did you find?""A Crista-list!!""A What?""I said, Uh...CRIS...DA...LIST!! It's kinda like another name for a kuhtoon, Mom.""You mean a chrysalis? A cocoon?""Dat's what I said. You needta pay da-tenshun when peeple's talkin'.""I was paying attention. How do you know what a chrysalis is?""Oh, Mom. Most evvybuddy knows dat.""Huh. Interesting... ""Yes, dat's what I say - interesting! Soooo... I peeked in it!""You what?""Mooooooommm! You needta lissen! I said, I...PEEKED... IN...SIDE...DA...CRIS....DA...LIST!!""You did? What was inside?"Her shoulders drooped and she shrugged in disappointment, "Dere was no budderfly innit.""There wasn't?""Nope. I looked and I looked, and I thinked, 'Where's da budderfly?' I thinked like dis "THINK, THINK, THINK!! Like Pooh does (tapping her forehead), but I jus' didn't f...
Cat - Oops! Track Town USA
2007-06-27 00:14:00 You see it a lot these days in Eugene. Olympic Fever. Ever since Eugene won the bid to host the 2008 Olympic Trials, Track Town USA, has been buzzing with anticipation.Enter Jacqui on the scene. Her understanding of the track and field world is an eclectic combination of news footage clips and the Backyardigan's "Racing Day" episode. So today, the following track and field event unfolded in our upstairs hallway:"Mom can I borrow dis?"I peek around the corner from the kitchen and Jacqui is holding up Ken's belt. "Sure. As long as you don't hit or tie anything up with it." If he left it floor, then why not?"Oh good. Dis can be da finish line. Mooooommmmm! Say onnnermart, set, GO! Okay?""Mark, set, GO!"Jacqui blasts down the hall, through the kitchen, around the dining table, back through the kitchen, and back down the hall to the starting line, which is also apparently the finish line. She marches proudly back into the kitchen for her applause and demands an imaginary b... More About: Snake , Spring , Spice
I'm Not a Mermaid Too!
More articles from this author:2007-06-26 06:16:00 So today was day number one of swimming classes for Miss Jacqui. Was she worried about the water, getting wet, or any of the normal things that the other little four-year-olds were concerned about in her "Guppies" class? No, of course not. She was completely distracted by another, more important concern. Why didn't her feet turn into a mermaid tail when she got them wet??She has recently puzzled over this conundrum - during baths, or at the beach, but came to the conclusion that she just wasn't getting wet enough. A dip in a pool would certainly make all the difference!Well, it didn't and I had one mad little Guppy on my hands! She marched out of the pool and demanded to know, "WHERE is my mermaid tail? It's broken!"I reminded her that she was a little girl and little girls have feet, not mermaid tails."But I gott'em really wet! Where's my mermaid tail?""You're not a mermaid. You're Mommy and Daddy's Princess.""But I'm not a fairy, so I must be a mermaid!"Jacqui h... More About: Spice 1, 2, 3 |
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