The Urban RecluseThe Urban RecluseEnter the strange world of a 20-something South London gal. I try to escape the world, but I always get dragged back into its insanity... 
Articles
Before you die
2008-04-23 20:33:00 The other day I came across a post on Liane’s blog about a list of 1001 books which apparently must be read before we all die. I’ve only read 21 of those books so far, and only recognised the other ones which had been made into movies. The shame of it. Thinking about it though, quite an industry has been created in the world of books and lifestyle television to extoll the importance of reading a certain 1001 books, of visiting 1001 particular places, of viewing 1001 paintings, etc. Obviously it wouldn’t be reasonable to expect someone to watch 1001 movies, but if someone were interested in doing so it would have to become their life’s work. No marriage could survive the pressure of visiting 1001 gardens or 1001 natural wonders; no normal career could accommodate such a task. So are these books an impossible challenge or a burden? As we age will we look upon that hardback book on our coffee table and like the cliché says, regret all the things that we h...
Daft Wear
2008-04-19 15:35:00 I’m still thinking about the videos I posted here a few days ago. Not all of us have great bodies, a lack of inhibition, or the light skin necessary for this experience, but it does look like great fun. Or perhaps you’d like to take it outside, do it in your local club without having to show your naked torso and thighs? Well I have the answer for you, in this tracksuit that I’ve designed, which features all the words from the Harder Faster Better Stronger song for your robotic enjoyment. [Show as slideshow] Optional fingerless gloves are also available. The tracksuit is available in any colour you desire, and once your order is received my team of skilled monkeys will create the dancesuit of your dreams. I’ve found another video of a couple of sexy ladies performing their own version of the dance. Loads of the youtube commenters have been very rude about the ladies weight, but anyone can see that they aren’t overweight, theyR... More About: Daft , Wear
The Spice is Right
2008-04-16 02:45:00 Your Score: Coriander You scored 50% intoxication, 50% hotness, 50% complexity, and 100% craziness! You are Coriander! You’re subtle. So subtle that people often forget about you. You are refreshingly clean and rather odd. You’re often misunderstood. Your key word is “latent”; all your potential is wrapped up tightly until “BOOM,” one day you’re cilantro. Funky. The Which Spice Are You Test Related PostsA Spice LadyNews RoundupTry the Spice AisleSpicy AuthorMusic Meme (1998)
Truth Hurts
2008-04-15 00:57:00 I almost can’t believe what I said to my friend Miguel this evening. I basically told him that I felt like he was always wanting something from me, and that I was feeling used by him. I said that I didn’t think he was consciously doing it (to give him the benefit of the doubt) but I wasn’t happy with how things had been going in the past few months. He seemed to take it quite well. Why did I say this to him? Well it has been festering in me for a while. At first I helped him out and didn’t say anything to him despite my annoyance, then I tried to avoid him (which was hard when he visited me at work if I didn’t answer my phone), then more recently I’ve been giving excuses, but he would try to talk his way around them. For instance, last Friday after not contacting me for two weeks he calls me, seemingly for a catchup. When I mention that I’m not working this week he says that I can help him to conduct some research. I replied that I didn... More About: Truth
Freedom
2008-04-14 19:21:00 I’m not due back to work for a week. Ideally I would have liked to disappear somewhere for a few days, and I should be getting paid tomorrow, so we’ll see what I can manage. I’m so glad to not be at work, my colleague is really getting on my nerves right now. She keeps on trying to manipulate me into supporting her mission against the rest of the organisation. When I express my own opinion on things she becomes patronising and rude, and I can’t stand it anymore. I just want to do my work and go home. My phone alarm woke me up at 7.15 as I’d forgotten to turn it off. Then the postman work me up at 10.30 to sign for a letter. I think I scared him with my hideous appearance; I’m not a morning person and I probably look like a real hag before noon. Related PostsEmancipate Yourself from Mental SlaveryA touch of the wild horsesFreedom !PartyTests
News and Views
2008-04-13 22:20:00 The weather’s even more bizarre than usual over here in Blighty; a week ago it was snowing, then it was rather mild all week, then this afternoon it rained heavily. I decided to go for a walk when the rain seemed to be dying down, but a few minutes later I found myself in the middle of a hailstorm, and became unreasonably worried that one of those huge mutant hailstones would fall on my head and knock me out. Luckily it eased after another couple of minutes. – France’s First Lady, Carla Bruni, is apparently upset about the reappearance of some nude pics she modelled for during her modelling career. I don’t think she should be embarrassed at all; what’s done is done, and she looks amazing. Sure, it’s probably not totally appropriate for her current position as Mrs Sarkozy, but you have to own your actions, and posing nude, like having a tattoo, is something you may have to live with for the rest of your life. – I don’t mean to be di... More About: News , Views , News and Views
Harder Better Faster Stronger Dafter
2008-04-13 01:56:00 Oh my, this video has it all. I prefer it to the original one with the girls, if only because the guys don’t stand still. (via Electro Plankton) Update: just discovered that my favourite guy from the above video also did a solo version: Now, that’s talent. Related PostsHit me BritneyInsomniaPump It Up: Dance Mix (A Review) More About: Stronger
Hello, Joe
2008-04-12 03:10:00 Why don’t you make a move, Joe? (Not you.) Flashbacks of a Fool: When an ageing movie star returns home for a friend’s funeral he faces his youthful dreams, and a nightmare he’ll do anything to forget. Judging from the trailer this film will be a sensuous and thoughtful exploration of young love and its consequences. With still over 200 days left until Bond 22, Daniel Craig makes sure that I am not left bereft without him for too long. Plus he appears to be quite nude in at least one scene… Related PostsNo related posts
Forgive me, Mariah
2008-04-10 23:54:00 On the way home from work this evening something very strange happened. A bright pink limo drove up beside me, and two burly blokes grabbed me and tossed me into the back. I found myself sitting opposite someone who looked a lot like Mariah Carey in sunglasses. “Do not speak directly to Mariah,” said a minion sitting beside me. “You are PJ, of the Urban Recluse Blog, are you not?” “How do you know that?” “We have our ways of gaining information,” said the minion, who spoke in an unusual accent, like Angelina Jolie in Beowulf or Alexander. “You have offended Ms Carey with your blog post about a trash bag dress. She would never wear such a dress, and she felt that your sarcasm was unwarranted. She has beautiful breasts, and feels entitled to flaunt them whenever she wants. Who are you to deny her this human right?” I could smell the minion’s peppermint breath as he leaned in close to rebuke me. “It was an Apri... More About: Forgive
A Pirate’s Life for Me
2008-04-07 23:19:00 By the way, I’m the Captain of this ship. If you’ve got a problem with that, you know where the plank is. (via - We Made This) Related PostsMini Pirate Parody feat. Orlando Bloom and some little girlsSummer of Sequels (AKA the Summer of Cack)Was that an intervention?Lunch with the ladsAnd another one! More About: Life
Adventures in Camden Town
2008-04-05 20:30:00 I can’t believe that it’s taken me nearly a week to write about my meeting with the saxy sailor. My only excuse is that I’m mentally exhausted right now. I can’t focus on anything for long. Anyway I met G at Euston Station, and we went into a nearby cafe for a cup of tea. I don’t know what I was expecting, honestly, but he was just like he’d described himself. I hate these blind date kind of meetings, where you’re waiting at the designated meeting place, looking at any guy who could possibly be that person and wondering if it’s going to be the guy with the walking stick who’s limping and looks about 70… Luckily it wasn’t the septuagenarian who greeted me. I was very nervous at first, almost as skittish as when that male stripper said hello to me after the show… But after a cup of tea I felt a bit more like myself. From Euston we walked to Camden Town , and walked around the market and the assorted shops in that... More About: Adventures
4 Minutes
2008-04-04 23:53:00 Madonna. Justin. Timbaland. 4 Minutes . I’m not loving this one, guys. Funny cos I love each of these artists, but the song isn’t about anything really. 4 minutes to save the world from what? These guys are only saving me from buying this single. It’s catchy and all, but I’m not feeling the faux-brass riff going on in the background, and the video is a bit disturbing with all those yucky flesh cutouts. That snog was nasty! Madonna looks amazing though, some are saying that she was airbrushed, but I don’t know… professional makeup can hide anything… Related PostsThe web freeze continuesUp Yours, EurostarI can’t quite believe what just happenedYou play it for her, you can play it for mestill aching!
Inner Beauty
2008-04-01 21:02:00 My favourite singer, Mariah Carey, arrived at Mayfair at 2.30am this morning and greeted a large crowd of adoring fans. The eccentric diva was wearing just a black bin liner under her jacket, and clutched a copy of the Big Issue magazine, which she’d purchased from a homeless man outside Selfridges. When asked about her unusual outfit, she told reporters: “Looks aren’t important, it’s what’s inside that counts. My job is to sing, not to be a sex object. The music business is so superficial, and I’m using my position to take a stand against it.” Good on ya, girl! Related PostsHappy Year of the RatA touch of the wild horsesin waitingWeekend WatchingHypothesis: Lily Allen has discovered the PR power of her own breasts More About: Beauty
Red Arrows
2008-04-01 14:28:00 Just caught the Red Arrows (Royal Air Force Aerobatic Team) flying over the London Eye. It was amazing; suddenly I heard the sound of those powerful engines approaching from behind, then they appeared, trailing red and blue coloured smoke behind them. I had my camera with me, but wasn’t able to take a pic as it was all so fast. They were flying over London to celebrate their 90th anniversary. Now I wanna see a proper air show. Related Posts13 Kick-Ass Heroines (Vol. 3)
Earth Angel
2008-03-30 17:49:00 What Kind of Empath Are You?created with QuizFarm.com You scored as Fallen Angel You are a Fallen Angel empath. You have not found your place in this world yet and wander as a lost soul. Your wings have been clipped but you know deep inside they will grow back. You need to fly free and proud. Fallen Angels are spiritual beings who were trapped by flesh, and are now seeking to spread their wings again. (from the Book of Storms at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Empaths/) Fallen Angel 70% Traveler 65% Universal 60% Judge 60% Artist 60% Healer 50% Shaman 35% Precog 35% I thought that fallen angels were… you know. Related PostsTV Show Meme - Play with meThat self-promoting minxWhy on earth did I buy a 15" tartan skirt?13 Cancelled TV Shows13 Alter-Egos and Secret Identities More About: Earth
Trying
2008-03-28 15:26:00 I went to work this morning, but had to come home as I wasn’t feeling well. On and off since Wednesday night I’ve been feeling a tightness in my chest, plus aches and pains in my back. I’d hoped that the discomfort would ease by itself, but it got so bad earlier that I had to call the doctor. I’ve got an appointment with a GP in a couple of hours. My mother was worried when I got home, but predictably one of the first things she said was that it could be due to my weight. She then mentioned her theory that it could be down to work-related stress… I just told her that I wanted to check it out with the doctor, there wasn’t any point in talking about possible causes before my appointment. Of course, one of the reasons that I tried to put off going to the doctor was because I’m starting to feel that they won’t take any of my symptoms seriously until I’m slim. I was quite upset after my last appointment with a GP because she didnR...
The Art of Not Doing
2008-03-27 21:42:00 It’s true what they say: If you want something done, ask a busy person. Two years ago I was that busy person, and I got so much done. Now I’m working part-time, and I can barely get out of the bed these days. Time, like money, is a luxury, and like money it can be squandered unwisely. I’ve haven’t been to work for the past nine days, and my only real achievements during that time are watching Heroes Season 2 and a few eps of Weeds Season 2. I can’t be totally surprised as I didn’t have a plan. Without a plan it’s easy to succumb to the temptation of daytime television, random websites and calls from sailors instead of concentrating on moving forward with my life. My birthday has become a time when I think about my life direction. Since my 25th birthday I’ve been stressing about my 30th. There’s still a part of me that feels that my life should be sorted by then, that I should have a flat and a creative career, regular holidays a...
The Sax Man
2008-03-25 19:21:00 Due to my recent money troubles I reluctantly decided to sell some of my gear, including my saxophone. I put an ad in Loot, plus another one in the Sound on Sound readers’ ads. One dark evening, on my way home from work, I received a call from a guy who was interested in my sax. He said that he’d been playing the saxophone for many years, and was working on a merchant ship. He said that he wouldn’t be able to buy the sax straight away, but he’d call me in a few weeks to see if it was still available. He sounded like a nice bloke, but after the other potential buyer turned out to be a timewaster I lost hope in selling the sax. A couple of weeks ago I had another call from the Sax Man, who was checking whether the sax was still available. I confirmed that it was, and he said that he’d have some money for it at the end of this month. I told him that I hadn’t advertised it since the last time, so I was quite confident that it would still be up for gr...
I Eat Planets
2008-03-25 18:48:00 Yes, I can fly. Vid: a clip from the forthcoming Superhero Movie (via Ladythrills.com) Indulge me, guys! I’ve just watched the entire second season of Heroes in the last 24 hours. Related PostsNo related posts More About: Planets
More films I haven’t seen
2008-03-25 15:07:00 Nicholas posted the remaining 150 films on IMBD’s top 250 list, so I’ve listed them below as before and will bold the ones I’ve seen. 101. Strangers on a Train (1951) 102. Mr. Smith Goes to Washington (1939) 103. Batman Begins (2005) 104. Ladri di biciclette (The Bicycle Thief) (1948) 105. Salaire de la peur, Le (The Wages of War) (1953) 106. High Noon (1952) 107. Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi (1983) 108. Ran (1985) 109. The Big Sleep (1946) 110. Notorious (1946) 111. Back to the Future (1985) 112. The Wizard of Oz (1939) 113. Oldboy (2003) 114. Fargo (1996) 115. Unforgiven (1992) 116. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989) 117. Donnie Darko (2001) 118. Mononoke-hime (1997) 119. Cool Hand Luke (1967) 120. Ratatouille (2007) 121. Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003) 122. Yojimbo (The Bodyguard) (1961) 123. Per qualche dollaro in più (For a Few Dollars More) (1965) 124. The Green Mile (1999... More About: Films , Haven
Happy Easter!
2008-03-23 15:13:00 Go on, have some! Related PostsHappy Easter !Not a happy blogHa ha! Persistence pays offHappy Birthday, Dirk!28
Such a busy froggy…
2008-03-23 02:26:00 Samurai Frog has apparently been modelling for Supreme Clothing on the sly, and plans to appear in a photography exhibition in Paris too. [Show as slideshow] I thought we were friends, but I only heard about it through an article in CO-ED Magazine. These celebrities forget about the little people so quickly. Related PostsBusy Busybusy busy!Sorry - No SauceA Police Presencebusy writing! More About: Froggy
Wanted
2008-03-23 02:04:00 Who’d believe it, Angelina Jolie and James McAvoy in a very silly-looking action movie. Wanted Exclusive Trailer I can’t wait. Eat your demented heart out, Joey. Related PostsThe End of the AffairPens and stuffNot shaggy enough? I’ll show you shaggy!Living up to this blog’s title…2000
Top 100 Movies
2008-03-21 02:46:00 My mate Nicholas wrote about the IMDB Top 100 film list and revealed which ones he’s seen. I thought it might be fun for me to do the same. The ones I’ve seen are in bold: 1. The Godfather (1972) 2. The Shawshank Redemption (1994) 3. The Godfather: Part II (1974) 4. Buono, il brutto, il cattivo, Il (1966) 5. Pulp Fiction (1994) 6. Schindler’s List (1993) 7. One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest (1975) 8. Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980) 9. Casablanca (1942) 10. Shichinin no samurai (1954) 11. Star Wars (1977) 12. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003) 13. 12 Angry Men (1957) 14. Rear Window (1954) 15. Goodfellas (1990) 16. Cidade de Deus (2002) 17. Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981) 18. The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001) 19. C’era una volta il West (1968) 20. The Usual Suspects (1995) 21. Psycho (1960)* 22. Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned ... More About: Movies
Eat Me
2008-03-21 01:18:00 The Hamburger Dress (via bookofjoe) Or if your tastes are more refined and you can travel to the Temple Restaurant & Bar in Minneapolis, why not try eating sushi off a naked person? More Info Related PostsNo related posts
My Guy
More articles from this author:2008-03-20 22:06:00 Levit is a robot who values style as much as functionality. As a switchboard operator working the metro patch panel, Levit sees first hand the boom in text messaging. He wonders whether the art of the hand-written letter will be lost forever. $900 Related PostsNo related posts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 |
|
 |
|
 |
