Raising Great Kids in a Diverse World

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I was all set to go on a rant about 'park-ism'. A...
2007-06-27 13:27:00
I was all set to go on a rant about 'park-ism'. A study of the public parks in New York City has discovered that the quality of public parks is related to the affluence where they are. Approximately, one out of nine parks in NYC is 'below standard'. No kidding! Is anyone surprised by this? Park s in the more affluent areas of the city have non-profits-like the Central Park Conservancy-tending to them. In the less affluent areas the parks are looked after by the NYC Parks Department.So, congratulations to trend-setting New York City for adding another 'ism' to our vocabulary!Speaking of parks, someone overheard the following conversation on a playground-it is the best example of how to deal with racism that I have ever seen.Child #1: Is that your mother?Child #2: Yes.Child #1: Why is she white and you are black?Child #2: Because I am adopted, and black people have more melanin than white people do.Child #1: Oh, let's go on the high bars.Talk about out of the mouths of bab...
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"Illegal aliens", Paris Hilton and Raising Kids.
2007-06-26 18:07:00
I know, the link between illegal aliens, Paris Hilton and raising great kids seems a bit esoteric on first glance-but stick with me and then see if you agree.Today's top news stories are Paris Hilton's release from jail (I know, I know you are relieved for the poor girl, too) and the heated debate on the pending immigration laws.First of all, I want someone to tell me what an "illegal alien"? Do they come from Jupiter or another planet? Can people be illegal? It can't possibly be illegal to be a person, can it? We do have upwards of 13 million "UNDOCUMENTED" people living in the United States. I know that using accurate language doens't always translate to good sound bites, but don't our kids deserve accurate information-information that isn't inherently judgemental and prejudicial? It wasn't that long ago that my daughter was an immigrant. Yep, she came to the US on a green card and went through the citizenship process complete with holding up her right hand swearing...
More About: Illegal Aliens , Kids , Aliens

Parties, People, Perspective
2007-06-25 13:40:00
It was a great weekend-the weather was good, we went to a great party and to the beach. I actually had a chance to sit and watch my daughter play with a new friend.She met the new friend at a pool party (yes, life is tough!)on Friday afternoon. She was nervous before the party, wondering if she would know anyone, would anyone play with her and other jitters. She called me three or four times to tell me that she was just going to drop off the gift and come home.When I arrived to pick her up she was right in the thick of things; laughing and splashing. Needless to say she did not want to leave. I wondered what had turned the tables for her-so I asked her. She replied, "look at the kids, Mom. They all look like me." When I looked, I saw only one other Asian child. I said, "there is only one Asian girl." My daughter then looked me with an expression the said 'why do I have to explain everything'. She sighed and said, Maaaaaa, they are all different colors."And they were. I...
More About: People , Parties , Perspective

NYC-paying for grades!!
2007-06-22 15:12:00
The New York Times has been reporting on the mayor's plan to begin paying kids for grades and attendance. Educators are up in arms because they want kids to love learning. The program is meant to improve the performance of black and Hispanic students and are part of an overall anti-poverty plan.Funded by private donations, the program will also pay adults $150 a month for keeping a full-time job and $50 per month for having health insurance. Families can also recieve $50 per month per child for high attendance rates and $25 for attending a parent-teacher conference.Kids in fourth grade can 'earn' $25 for each PERFECT SCORE on standardized tests and $5 for just taking the test. Seventh graders will get a more cash to show up-I guess seventh graders are worth more money!The program will launch in 40 schools in primarily lower-income areas.Ok, the good news is it won't cost me any money and could actually help some people.I do have issues for encouraging kids to be 'perfect',...
More About: Grades

Cultural Awareness Runs Amok
2007-06-21 17:18:00
I saw this on www.onlyinnewyork.com and laughed out loud. I am usually so focued on the seriousness of cultural and racial diversity that I miss the humor-but this sure hit home for me. "Her" People Love Fashion at a BargainOlder woman: Excuse me, miss?Younger woman: Yeah?Older woman: Your veil, your burqa is very beautiful. I didn't know your people were allowed to wear it in bright colors.Younger woman: It's not a burqa, it's a poncho. I'm Jewish. It's for the rain. I got it at TJ Maxx.--53rd & 7thSometimes we all just try too hard. I hope this makes you laugh-and think!Deb
More About: Awareness , Runs , Cultural , Ural , Waren

Help Fight Child Abuse-DONATE NOW! http://www.fir...
2007-06-20 17:22:00
Help Fight Child Abuse -DONATE NOW!http://www.firstgiving.com/bullyerase r
More About: Donate , Child Abuse

Five words you don't want to hear: "you just missed Brad Pitt"
2007-06-20 15:58:00
We just missed Brad Pitt and one of his sons when we were in New York City. I am sure Brad and I would have hit it off beautifully becaues Angelina Jolie Angelina and I have a lot in common.Ok, so she is a young, beautiful and a talented actress and I am a 40 something, slightly overweight, harried mom who and can't act her way out of a paper bag-but really here is what we share:1. growing our families through adoption2. trans-racial families3. working moms4. a deep committment to make the world a better placeAngelina and Brad have the eyes of the world press on them all the time. I have a seven year old velcroed to me most of the time-but I have you. And there are kids that need your help (and you don't even have to adopt them!).Child abuse-running the gamet from bullying to death-is a huge issue right here in the good ole US of A and there are MILLIONS of children that need to be protected right now. On behalf of these children I have set up a fund-raising program thru Firstgivi...
More About: Words , Hear

What color are you?
2007-06-19 16:51:00
Seems like an easy question, doesn't it. But, it sure stumped me when my daughter (who was born in China) asked me what color she was.She knew she wasn't black and she knew she wasn't white, but she couldn't figure out-in a world where lots of things seem black and white-where she fit in. Never mind that 2/3 of the world's population shares her physical traits-she wanted to know where she was on the color spectrum.She knew our black friend Gloria's skin is pecan brown, and the people she sees in Jamaica remind her of the ebony keys on the piano. Her friend Chasen's skin is lighter than Gloria's and is more like a creamy chocolate. But she still didn't know what color she was.She compared her skin to mine-I am of Italian descent and my skin is decidedly olive-y-and she announced that she didn't know why I was white. "Snow is white, vanilla ice cream is white-you are not white, Mommy," she said. And, you know, she is right."If I am not white, then what color am I," I a...
More About: Color

The "Chinese Auction" and other idiocy!
2007-06-18 16:19:00
I saw it again-a flyer in a local business advertising an upcoming "Chinese Auction ." I just shook my head and thought 'when will we ever get it right?' My daughter-born in China-wanted to know who was being auctioned. She was afraid that it was a child that someone no longer wanted! Yikes! Who knew that language that we take for granted and shrug off as political correctness run amok could have such an impact on a child.Remember when we routinuely used expressions like "Mexican stand off", "Indian Giver" without giving it a second thought? Did any of us realize that the term "Dutch treat" was coined because someone thought the Dutch were cheap! Remember when sitting cross-legged on the ground was called sitting like an Indian?"We don't hear many of these deragatory and insulting comments-kids in schools today sit like a pretzel or criss cross applesauce. But still we use deragatory language unconsciously all the time. It is hard to change old habits. Many of us are not ...
More About: Idiocy

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2007-06-15 20:57:00
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We Mandu-Do you?
2007-06-15 20:41:00
I've learned that one of the best ways to fight racism and bias in my family is to introduce diverse and culturally interesting things into our daily routine. One of the easiest ways for us is food. Dumplings are found in nearly every culture-and I have never met a dumpling I didn't like! We stumbled on this SIMPLE recipe for mandu (Korean Dumplings) and thought I would share it.Ingredients: 1 lb chop meat 1 stalk scallion-chopped 1/2 head Chinese cabbage-chopped 1/2 tsp. sesame oil 3 tsp soy sauce 2 eggs, beaten 1 package mandu or wonton skins vegetable oil Directions: Dice all of the vegetables and mix with the meat. Add soy sauce and sesame oil. Put 1/2 tsp of the mixture in the center of the mandu or wonton skin Coat the edge with beaten egg Fold to seal edges and pan fry in vegetable oil until golden brownNow, I don't believe that eating dumplings is going to cure bias and it effects-but it can't hurt, can it?

Summer is here..hire a 'manny'!
2007-06-14 17:49:00
Summer vacation has arrived at my house and the words "I'm bored" have already escaped my seven-year olds lips. To make matters worse, most of the schools in the area are still in session and none of the summer activities have started-not that it matters. My daughter has adamantly and steadfastly refused to go to camp for the summer. She wants a babysitter (of course, what she really wants is for me to spend the summer with her as her entertainment director-which just ain't gonna happen!). So, I got her a babysitter.Back to the babysitter saga. I think I interviewed 15 or 20 college age girls. Not one of them was a 'doer'-someone who could keep a bright and energetic seven year old out of my office. They didn't bike, swim, play soccer. They didn't like board games, reading or going to the library. They did like to get their nails done and play inside. I was beginning to get discouraged. Would I ever find someone who would keep my child safe while keeping her busy?T...
More About: Hire , Summer , Manny

Out of the mouths of babes.
2007-06-12 22:38:00
My daughter 'graduated' from second grade today. It was a lovely occasion. As I sat with the other parents at the poolside graduation party we reminisced about the school year that had just ended. As we chatted, one of the children-the only black person in the class-was reprimanded by the lifeguard. One of the parents shrugged his shoulders and said, "I knew it would Samuel who got into trouble-you know how these people are."These people? Just who were these people? Were 'these people' black people? Were they young people? Were they boy people? Second grade people? Or people not like him? More importantly how did we get from one kid's behavior to these people?I was horrified by his statement and his attitude and I contemplated ignoring him-after all, I was enjoying a rare afternoon out of the office. But I knew that I couldn't. I don't think we can pick and choose when and if we are going to fight racism. We either do it-or we don't. So, I did-and it felt good.L...
More About: Babes , Babe

Satire or Racism-is there a difference?
2007-06-11 15:58:00
Over the weekend, I went to see my cousin?s daughter in her first Off Off Broadway play-a satire, mocking Italian-Americans from New York. The play was written and directed by an Italian-American and several of the cast members were Italian-American. Since I am an Italian-American from New York, I suppose they thought I would laugh at jokes--instead I was thinking about the line between satire and racism and when does satire cross the line into racism-if it does. Do we use satire to hide racism? Is it satire if we pick fun at members of our own racial, ethnic or cultural group and racism if we direct comments and behavior toward another group? I looked up the definitions of racism and satire and here is what I found--satire is a literally tone used to ridicule or make fun of human vices or weakness. Many definitions state that in order for it to be satire the intent of the ridicule is to correct or change the subject of the satiric attack. Most definitions assert that th...
More About: Satire , Racism , There , Difference , Ferenc

Welcome to Raising Confident, Compassionate and Respectful Kids.
2007-06-08 16:56:00
On this blog we are going to focus on discussing easy-to-implement strategies to expose children to diverse people and ideas-and its benefits. Decades of social science research has show us that children who are exposed to a wide variety of people and ideas are far less likely to become biased-or worse-and are less likely to tolerate bullying behavior in any form.Kids who have the ability to interact successfully with all kinds of people can face the 21st Century with confidence and skills that will serve them a lifetime.
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