Gay trail of betrayalGay trail of betrayalEvents of relationship betrayal and counter-betrayal Articles
When he?s working from home it means he?s trawling the net for sex
2007-11-23 17:15:00 Today my husband stayed at home to work and was supposed to be having a major telephone conference this afternoon. He went to the gym at midday then on the way home rang me up to check in and then spent the most part of several hours getting chatting online and finally set up a ... More About: Home , Working , Betrayal , Workin
Dear husband,
2007-09-27 00:36:00 This letter you will get when I leave you. I have been to hell and back. You were hell but I recovered and am now possibly immune from you. As you know it was a shock to discover you were hunting for sex with other men. You couldn’t be completely sure that I had really found ... More About: Relationship , My Life , Trust , Betrayal , Husband
Quo vadis? Frustrating Spring.
2007-09-26 23:46:00 I had lunch with C from Cologne today. I also saw him last night, with my friends on our regular Tuesday night out. I enjoy seeing him and catching up with him. I even tell my partner that I see him. I overload my poor friends with my feelings of frustration that he seems not ... More About: My Life , Spring , Quo Vadis
Life chugs along
2007-09-21 00:39:00 It’s been a while since my last post. I am recovering well. Since the last major crisis we have had a good holiday on the Croation adriatic coast and not done very much. He has managed to avoid our couple therapy sessions, presumably to put distance between the last “event” and being in a ... More About: Life , Relationship , Along
Postwar fallout and clean up but still living with the enemy
2007-09-04 14:52:00 As anticipated in my last post, the games are over. I lost the war but he has lost his credibility and we have both lost the relationship. The fallout was unpleasant. I confronted my faithless sex-hunting husband. He was ready with a response which he expanded in a nasty email letter later that day. He said ... More About: Living , Relationship , Clean , Enemy , The Enemy
My shrink wants to kick him in the nuts.
2007-08-16 15:34:00 Today I played what is probably the last move in this sick game. I think it’s the last of the comic theatre - although it’s not really very funny. After discovering yesterday that my faithless partner was again up to no good, I decided to play with his mind and use a fake chat alias, let’s ... More About: Nuts , Betrayal , Kick
Backward steps wading deep in the muck. Again!
2007-08-15 16:09:00 What possessed me to check my traps? A while ago I set up a monitoring service to check the appearance of the word “max” in ads and suchlikeon a number of gay chat and other websites. Keen readers will remember that my disloyal husband uses this favourite alias. It’s a common alias so ... More About: Relationship , Deep , Betrayal , Steps
Running out of hope
2007-07-30 22:44:00 I am running out of hope that in my relationship things will change enough for me to have what I need in a partnership. I would really like to have a partner who I enjoy having sex with and who I don’t feel only does it with me out of duty and tells me he feels ... More About: Running , Relationship , Hope
Getting to know C and being pissed off by hubby
2007-07-30 22:40:00 Today we had lunch. It was fine weather and C could eat again, proper food. He is shy and retiring, he confirmed again. Did tell me that he likes to get home and have a full 15 minutes of peace but his partner is completely inconsiderate of this need. I did lots of talking about ... More About: Relationship , Pissed , Being , Piss
Late night #2 and getting to know C
2007-07-26 16:39:00 C and I caught up and spent the evening on the riverside grass just opposite the city in along with chatting groups enjoying the first bit of good weather for ages. C was still not feeling well and drank peppermint tee and I our typical local alcoholic beverage. We talked a lot about a lot. ... More About: Relationship , Night , Trust , Late , Late Night
Late nights are the price for getting a life
2007-07-26 16:09:00 I caught up with C from Cologne in my regular Tuesday night haunt which has been his usual Tuesday night haunt for much longer. I was with my Friends, M and M2 and and a girlfriend of his, Ci, and M2’s str8 brother whose name I don’t remember. Ci and I had chatted once before. ... More About: Life , General , Price , Late , Nights
New phase: moving on from obsessive paranoia
2007-07-26 15:49:00 I am no longer obsessing over the crisis and potential collapse of my relationship. Instead I have been calmly but obsessively reading up on the psychology of it all. I ordered a pile of books from Amazon on infidelity, relationship-building and communication issues in relationships. At the same time I have been focusing on ... More About: Relationship , Moving , Noia , Ving , Phase
Frustrations of confronting him with his infidelity
2007-07-24 07:28:00 We had a row during our last couple therapy session. Actually I offloaded a lot of frustration about what I see as his infidelity and he got pissed off. He still won’t own that he has done anything “wrong” and gets pissed off when I talk about being hurt. Typically he shut down all useful ... More About: Relationship , Rust , Infidelity , Deli , Fidelity
He?s being good? mostly. How boring!
2007-07-10 11:59:00 Things have been very quiet on all fronts lately. For my birthday, my husband took me away for a weekend of relaxation at a great, down-market hot springs resort some 3 1/2 hours drive away. We didn’t fight and we even had a bit of rustle and tumble, although it was nothing to write home ... More About: Relationship , General , Good , Being , Boring
Danger of being held to ransom
2007-07-06 17:15:00 Sometimes I am a bit thick, or maybe just too trusting. It’s taken a while to come to grips with the realisation that my husband is probably a sociopath. He has no conscience about screwing around. He is as sweet as sugar to me at home or on the phone but as soon as I ... More About: Relationship , Danger , Bein , Being , Ransom
Doormat danger of being too tolerant
2007-07-05 15:07:00 I have identified that I apply my openness and tolerance in things political and public to my private life with dire negative consequences. I thereby make myself into a doormat and I am walked all over. It’s my own fault for never setting standards and barriers of acceptance. I have always been prepared both in ... More About: Relationship , Danger , Bein , Being , Door
Therapy - the psychology of blogging
2007-07-05 09:38:00 While recently doing some online research about relationships and the psychology thereof, I found an article from the Washington Post about the psychology of blogging as well as a blog about online behaviour and the psychology of cyberspace. (Does anyone still use the term “cyberspace”?) More About: Relationship , Blogging , Psychology , Reference , Therapy
Letter to my cheating husband?
2007-07-04 14:20:00 Dear X I don’t expect a response from you from this letter. I expect you not to talk but to do something. But I want to tell you how I feel. It is extremely difficult and it makes me sad and angry. I have never experienced such sadness for such a long time as I have with ... More About: Relationship , Cheating , Letter , Husband , Eating
Kissing C, the kisser
2007-07-04 08:49:00 I have a regular outing to a gay bar in town on a Tuesday evening with some of my friends. My man never comes along, although he promises that at some stage he will join us. Unlikely. And that’s a good thing. I had already been there for some time when I noticed C from last ... More About: Kissing
History is written by the victors
2007-07-03 06:16:00 When you get to know somebody you should try to interview the ex partners. From my husband I got the story that his ex-boyfriend had had affairs and even owned up to them. Also that the ex was extremely distrustful and had broken into his laptop to read his email, stolen his cellar lockup key to ... More About: History , Relationship , Victor , The V , Tory
Frustrations of having a sexy man in my bed
2007-07-03 06:06:00 I am going out of my mind with frustration. I have my man in close bodily contact most of the day, sleep next to him, and still lust after him. But for him I am just a cuddle toy. No sex. He is also behaving so well lately. No man hunting on the net, no porno ... More About: General , Sexy , Rust , Ving , Stration
Quo vadis with a cheating husband?
2007-06-28 13:52:00 Night before last my husband gets an SMS extremely late. He has his mobile permanently on “meeting” but it vibrates nevertheless. This morning I snooped. The message is from someone he has saved in his addressbook and says “still awake?”. Further research from my previous snooping reveals this is probably a professional with whom he ... More About: Evidence , Cheating , Quo Vadis , Husband , Eating
Background reading
2007-06-27 12:10:00 There are quite a lot of sites on the Net dealing with spousal deception. One of my favourites is http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/. More About: Reading , Reference , Background , Round
Counter betrayal with C from Cologne
2007-06-27 12:03:00 Last night I hit it off with a nice guy from Cologne . I had no intention of getting up to any kind of mischief but he was there, smiled so cutely and was very interested. I went to the usual Tuesday event where I am becoming a regular. My regular buddy, M, had a fight with ... More About: Counter , Betrayal , Tray
Tell-tale signs that found me?
2007-06-22 09:53:00 Suspicions should have been aroused before the chance discovery of the online evidence of secret friendships. Once on the phone I heard what I thought was the tell-tale message arriving jangle of a popular gay chat site, www.gayromeo.com. At the time, silly trusting ol’ me didn’t register what he was up to. Another ... More About: Evidence , Signs , Tale
How it started (the discovery of betrayal)
2007-06-21 16:35:00 By chance I discovered our home PC was infected with a worm which snooped on Hotmail messages (presumably scanning for passwords and other interesting data in email messages). It had left a somewhat garbled log of content of messages. Some of it made for suspicious reading: URLs of gay chat sites, porno sites and ... More About: Discovery , General , Disco , Betrayal , Discover
The 2 sides of this blog
2007-06-21 16:25:00 Mostly I intend this blog to deal with two main themes: his betrayal and my activities to monitor them (spying!) my fun and the mischief I engage in outside my relationship. More About: General , Blog , Sides
The start of this blog
2007-06-19 15:18:00 I discovered not so long ago that my partner of 6 years had been cheating on me. It was a shock. I thought he was a good guy. In fact it turns out that he is a very, very bad guy, with lots of dirty little secrets. It was a text book case: the information ... More About: General , Blog , Start , The Star |
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