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Euro'tion 2009 (read: European Vacation)
2009-09-03 05:44:00
WARNING! This will be a loooooong narra'tion!It's just over a month now since I returned from our Euro'tion Tour. Seems almost a distant memory. Therefore, I felt it necessary to capture some of the highlights before they fall through the sieve that is my mind.We flew into London on Thursday 18th June for 4 nights. Dear and I caught a couple of shows over the weekend - Hairspray & Sister Act. Gay much? Most enjoyable, although we were a little disappointed that Sister Act did not contain any of the original songs from the film. Nevertheless, they were camp & catchy. We were ecstatic to hear about Saturday nights' headline act at Heaven... Sophie Ellis-Bextor, especially given her recent rise to Rancer fame with Heartbreak. But what a strange evening that turned out to be! Before heading to Heaven we went to GAY bar for drinks. Quite horrendous and overcrowded. Think downstairs Shift in the Video Bar. Before long we made our way to Heaven. Now, according to all reports, t...
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Sex... with the City
2008-03-31 09:35:00
The vagabond shoes were killing me. I could barely get them on after the 20-hour flight from New York. Bloated much? Home sweet home after what was easily one of the best, if not the best, weeks of my life! I was a part of it. Right through the very heart of it! I love Sydney and adore coming home after any getaway, but this time, I was actually sad to leave the Big Apple. I only had 6 days on The Island but I made the most of every minute I had. I arrived at my hotel in Chelsea, Manhattan around 6pm on Easter Sunday. It was perfectly located on 24th St just off 6th Avenue, away from the overcrowded and touristy locations. Suitably jet-lagged and running purely on adrenaline, I rendezvoused with my colleague and we went for dinner at a French restaurant just around the corner. No sooner had I cloaked my jacket (oh yeah, it was cold?. about 8 degrees) but the attendant remarked at what ?amazing hands? I had! A hand sketch artist apparently, who took an immediate liking to mine. ...
More About: City

Does my bum look big in this?
2007-12-21 06:58:00
As the year draws to a close, every man and his reindeer compile their best & worst of lists as a tribute to the most notable events of the past 12 months. I don?t have a dog, let alone a reindeer, but here?s my rear in view?Where to start? At the beginning! A very good place to start. In January, I made my first trip to the Australian Open in Melbourne where I saw the bootylicious Serena Williams and infallible Roger Federer win the respective Grand Slam titles. The Swiss master later went on to win his 11th (Wimbledon) & 12th (US Open) Grand Slams in 2007 in what was another stellar season on the ATP Tour. At the other end of the spectrum at Tennis Sydney, I had a somewhat lightweight season on the Virginia Slims Tour with less silverware to speak of. A paltry runner-up in the Winter competition (by a measly 1 game no less!) tormented this Ice Queen, who failed to cometh in what is usually my bread & butter time of year on court. I found some form late in the year and ...

Wave that glad and grab life by the stalk...
2007-06-04 09:39:00
It was with great trepidation (but excitement) that Wilma and I headed off to the Capitol Theatre on Friday night to see the much-revered Barry Humphries in his Back With A Vengeance show. Having somehow sneakily secured front row centre seats prior to tickets going on sale online, we were cautious of what would now be our apparent visibility to the star. Never one to shy away from a bit of audience participation, there was however some general concern over Sir Les Patterson?s flagrant speech impediment that was bound to see us dodging the frequently fired spitballs from that grotesque mouth. That itself would have been a blessing given the events that soon unfolded much to my chagrin.The show opened with the incomparable Dame Edna Everage lowered on a giant pair of bedazzled spectacles, waving a gladiola, and accompanied by that infamous cry of ?Hellooo Possums!?. The Moonee Ponds housewife hurled the gladiola into the crowd as if tossing a bouquet at a wedding. Naturally, it was a...
More About: Life , Wave , Grab , Glad

I'm Not Dead
2007-05-29 04:48:00
P!nk is definitely the new black. So hot right now! Last night?s concert at the Entertainment Centre was übercool to say the least. To think that I originally didn?t want to go for lack of a theatrical performance! To that, P!nk gave me the proverbial ?hand? and proved otherwise in spectacular fashion.The giant feathers and strippergram cops, while not as I had expected, were evident but leant a certain amount of scissor-sister appeal to the show. In fact, not only were the plethora of lesbians in the audience aroused by the rock diva, but I even found myself lusting over her (if only for her hot peroxided hair and washboard stomach!) She was H.O.T. And if you?ve got it, flaunt it? baring plenty of flesh throughout the show in a skimpy two-piece bikini and mini ensembles. Obviously suitable costume choices no less for her acrobatic forays in mesh netting and suspended curtains.Vocally, she was amazing. Her raspy, guttural sound was at its best despite weeks on the touring front and ...
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Beyoncé, Can You Handle This?
2007-05-02 09:42:00
The Bootylicious One recently visited our shores for her ?Experience? Tour. One of a myriad of ?Dreamgirls? Down Under over the coming months? notably P!nk, Christina Aguilera and Gwen Stefani. I?ll see all of them bar P!nk.* While I love her new album I figured she?d just jump around in front of a band for most of the night (notwithstanding a likely repeat of her acrobatic AVMA appearance) in true rock style. Wanting more booty for my buck I?ve opted for those divas who?ll push the production values through the roof! Christina & Gwen are overtly theatrical to say the least so I?m expecting more than just an ?experience? from them.That?s not to say Beyoncé didn?t impress. She opened with a very cool mash-up of ?Crazy In Love? & Gnarls Barkley?s ?Crazy? which set the scene. I was expecting more gays-in-the-village, but the audience seemed to be dominated by short-skirted skanks and their hip-hop hoods, who were suitably impressed with B?s 10-minute Destiny?s tribute. I have to ad...
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Mmmm ? Sacrilicious!
2007-04-10 09:40:00
Jesus was one lucky bastard to rise again on Sunday. It?s now Tuesday and there?s no resurrection in sight for me yet. God I feel awful. Overdunnit perhaps? I even resisted the urge to also go out Sunday night in favour of an extra night?s recovery but that seems to have done little to dispel ?that feeling?.My Easter-Feaster began Thursday night with the annual Slide54 party which was AWESOME. A glammed-up Studio54 themed party that hit all the right notes, even if some of the patrons outfits didn?t. Nevertheless, it was a gorgeous mix of beautiful nobodies and glamorous celebrities. Not to forget the infamous ?Man in the Moon with a Spoon? that hung high above the illuminated dancefloor. Shauna Jensen kicked off proceedings with a classic tribute before the funk was raised to a whole new level. In keeping with the tradition of its notorious namesake, one would be excused for partaking in all forms of hedonistic pleasure, including the rampant ravishing of one sexy rollerboy! Procee...

Objects Of Love
2007-03-06 11:55:00
Sniff. The 2007 Mardi Gras Festival drew to a close Saturday night… well, more like Sunday night for me. And even later for some! All the preparations of the past month culminated in an amazing parade, awesome after-party and outrageous recovery.After a 5-year hiatus from marching in the parade (2001 Madonna Music Cowboys & 2002 Sydney Gay Games Tribute) I simply could not resist the chance to be a part of the 2007 Kylie float in this year’s parade – Kylie’s Impossible Princesses. Inspired by Kylie’s timeless classic ‘The Locomotion’ some 20 years ago, what better way to celebrate Kylie's anniversary than by participating in this year’s parade. Even the divine Miss M sent her wishes…I want to wish everyone participating in the 'Kylie2007' float at this year's Sydney Mardi Gras the very best of luck. Make the costumes great because you KNOW I'll be watching! Whether you're a Marching Boy, Mechanic or a Showgirl, enjoy yourselves and Happy Mardi Gras!Love Kylie...
More About: Object , Objects

Is it that we are your flock thou?
2007-02-01 13:41:00
My holidays are drawing to a close. Mustn’t grumble. I’ve been having a ball.Took advantage of a Sunday night out the first weekend and hooked up with an ex at arq, Li’l Korma, which was bless. Had a couple of days to recover before flying to Melbourne on the Wednesday, so took in a movie (‘Dreamgirls’ ... ‘You’re gonna love Effie!’) after a dentist appointment. Yes, I’m well aware of the irony of that given my weakness for the Candy Bar. Certainly made for entertaining viewing given the left side of my mouth was still numb from the local anesthetic. With drooling like that I should have been at a ‘Mums & Bubs’ session (twice a month, on a Thursday, from 10.00am. Check your local guides.). Yes, I had to look that up.My flight to Melbourne on the Wednesday was fine. I’d pre-arranged the week prior an airport transfer to our hotel. I say arranged, but it was harder than that. The operator at Sunbus (who were the bus company responsible for the transfers through...
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Shaken, Not Stirred
2007-01-04 14:55:00
Too 007. Way! I wonder if James ever felt like this? Never! The events of the last couple of weeks have left me gasping for air as I finally loosen the tie around my neck. We all know how much the seasonal festivities take out of us but honestly, I’ve been working harder than Bond on Her Majesty’s Secret Service!Christmas started with a Thunderball. Drinks on the Friday prior at Miss Fashionista’s brother’s place eventually turned into a big night out. Probably best to get it out of the way early. And to be honest, right now, I can’t even recall what sort of night it was. Seems like a lifetime ago! Having abandoned the family this year I had an orphan’s affair with friends… Wilma, (V)B1 & (V)B2, Janome, Jolie, HippieChic, Miss Victa & Brewster. Wilma had us over on Christmas Eve for dinner & drinks which was lovely. And it just wouldn’t be a proper night without Singstar. Thankfully, after a dozen Cosmos, I found my true voice. Shame it was while kneeling at the ...

Light Years...
2006-11-28 02:26:00
Or more precisely, six hundred and sixty-two days after I lined up outside Ticketek at 3am for tickets to her first show, the Showgirl finally made it home. I can’t believe it was that long ago! Needless to say, the anticipation was overwhelming come Friday night.Given I was the one who queued for tickets, responsibility for getting us out to Homebush also seemed to fall within my duties, so it was quite the mental job organising 12 arrivals given CityRail decided ‘our Kylie’ was not considered a ‘special event’ like Bono, and so no special train services were scheduled. Be fucked if I was going to commute back and forth to Lidcombe on a Friday evening! Instead, both Miss Fashionista and I offered to drive and car-pooled 7 of our friends. They happily sipped champagne while we battled the peak-hour traffic. The other 3 made their own way from the other side of town. We left home about 6pm and made good time to be there just after 7pm. Enough time to down a few drinks and v...
More About: Light , Years , Year , Ears

Dirty Thirties
2006-11-06 07:38:00
Is it too late to post about my 30th birthday celebrations and Sleaze? After all, it is now more than a month since they have passed! Meh. It’s not like I have anything else exciting to report.My actual birthday on September 17 passed by without hitch …. apart from that brief encounter with a gorgeous Chilean in the toilets at arq. I guess you could say I ‘thumbed-a-lift’ from the Birthday Blues that night. What?! Like you’ve never gotten a free ride in public?! Prude.Anyways, the real shenanigans (who still uses that word?!) were to come on the 30th. A full two days were planned… barbeque lunch for the AFL Grand Final, followed by my 30th birthday party at Bar Europa, Sleaze Ball and then Homesexual recovery on the Sunday. It was, without a doubt, one of the biggest weekends of the year.However, it didn’t get off to the best start when my boys went down by a point. Not often do I use the words boys, down and a point in the same sentence with the result being anything ...
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The Most Sensational, Inspirational, Celebrational Post!
2006-09-01 18:34:00
Holy crap! Where the fuck have I been? Big Brother?! I mean, I can’t even remember who won this year! Oh….hang on, it was that vain muppet wasn’t it. Meh.So what’s news… work has been, like hellish, like, you know. Hell. Like. Think ‘The Muppet Show’. No. Think ‘Muppet Treasure Island’ but with more blood. Muppet blood. What’s that, like, cotton filling? I digress. Waldorf & Statler say it best:Waldorf: Same as it ever wasStatler: Same as it ever wasWaldorf: Yeah,Both: .…terrible!I think I’ve been burning the candle at both ends. Har. Burning!? Try smoldering. I’ve been out clubbing 7 of the last 8 weekends so I guess that has got to have some impact on my enjoyment at work. Particularly early week. My tolerance for incompetence has shortened somewhat. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that my health has suffered too in the last couple of months. Think I’ve developed an allergy to something. Self-control perhaps? A nasty itch.Speaking of self-control (or...
More About: Inspirational , Celeb , Inspiration , Post , Celebration

O Brother, Where Art Thou?
2006-07-11 05:52:00
I had every intention of not posting anything about Big Brother this year but alas, I can’t help myself. For the most part, the program shits me to tears, but I feel compelled to watch it for fear of missing out on anything remotely interesting. Not likely. The rate at which they replay footage ensures you could get away with watching just the weekly eviction show and not miss a beat! And if you’re desperate enough to subscribe to the live streaming either online or through your mobile you get every turkey slap & tickle uncensored. Well, for now.Day 80. Correct me if I’m wrong but are the seasons getting longer? I’m pretty sure the first few only went for about 87 days or so and yet we still have 6 housemates in the compound and two more intruders, sorry “housemates� about to enter!? Chris, 22, Singer/Waiter. "Chris is independent and has a lovable arrogance.� Of course he does. Don’t they all? (eyeroll). Max, 20, Cafe manager. "Likeable and energetic, Max is a ...
More About: Other , Here , Where , Roth

Beware Of Falling Rocks
2006-06-21 09:05:00
After nearly 5 years terrorizing the neighbourhood, the Dragstones at Glamrock are no more. Betty & Wilma are parting ways. Once thought inseparable, it comes as somewhat of a shock to friends & family. All has not gone to rubble (daboom-tish) though as Wilma will be just a stone’s throw away down the road while I stay on at the pad that gave our namesakes their inaugural stage.What prompted the move, you ask? A Barney funnily enough. Though I have felt things have been somewhat strained the last 6 months or so. I guess it’s to be expected when you live so close to someone. As I have mentioned many a time in this blog, our relationship was more than just housemates. We were and still are the bestest of friends but it’s only a matter of time until you come to know another too well. You start taking certain things for granted. Pushing buttons. Abusing liberties. Eventually something’s gonna snap. And we did. It wasn’t pretty and I’m ashamed to say that I lost control.M...
More About: Rock , War , Ware , Alli , Beware

When Did You Last?
2006-06-12 11:10:00
Nothing like a little bit of shameless self-promotion. It was only fitting that OSQ went mobile for the Queen’s Birthday long weekend. It began at 5pm on Saturday evening and wrapped up about 26 hours later at the conclusion of Her Royal Homesexual. Here is this dame’s Honours List of the weekend’s moments worth screaming about:1. Cruise Control: While a sailor-clad Joyce Mange manned the decks, DJ’s Chip & Dan Murphy worked them. The wet weather may have discouraged the punters from taking to the harbour for a 5 hour cruise early Saturday evening but those brave enough to leave terra firma were not disappointed. After a slow start, the boat was rocking… and so were the passengers. Only one case of sea-sickness kept a party-goer temporarily haunched. As the Lady Rose docked at 10pm, everyone scrambled for shelter from the persistent rain. While the weather suggested it was the beginning of the end, the night was only just starting.2. Saturgay @ arq: Deterred by the tic...
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I Said Pet, I Said Love
2006-06-05 10:26:00
June?! What the? Any day now, I expect the RSPCB to come bang down my door and haul me away for neglect. Poor blog. And here I am contemplating getting a dog! That’ll end in tears. I’m still entertaining the idea though, what with all the fringe benefits that come with pet ownership. Let me re-phrase that… active pet ownership. Not a lot of good can come from owning a goldfish. You can’t walk it every day. Well, you could but I’m pretty sure they don’t make leashes that size, so there goes the healthy lifestyle benefit of some daily exercise. You can’t teach it tricks. Well, none that it will remember tomorrow, let alone at parties! And I’m pretty sure no gay man has ever picked up trade in the park because he had a Black Arowanas or a lovely pair of Congo Tetras. Then again…Now that winter seems to have settled in it would be nice to curl up on the lounge with someone. Again, a fish is not desirable here. I’d be just as likely to fall asleep only to later wake u...
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Old Woman Rivers
2006-05-12 16:31:00
At 72 she’s one foul granny but fuck she’s a funny c*nt! With a face pulled so tight she looks like a Siamese cat in a wind tunnel, Joan River s is undisputedy the Queen of Comedy. If you like it dirty.Tonight, Wilma and I were guests at her one-off Sydney show ‘The First Annual Farewell Tour’ at the State Theatre. Having already sworn on national television at The Logies just last week (look for her pink statuette on ebay soon!), there was little doubt as to what to expect from America’s official red carpet snake. As a social commentator, she hisses like the best of them and there was no disappointing tonight.Let’s make it clear… she hates ugly people. You know who you are. And religious fanatics bear the brunt of the gene. But Jesus loves me! If Jesus loves you, why didn’t he give you a fucking chin! Gold. And she didn’t stop there. The old, the overweight, the handicapped all got a serve. Thankfully, she loves us gays. Wise, considering a significant proportion o...
More About: Woman , Oman , Rivers

The (e)X Factor
2006-05-10 16:37:00
Has it really been that long since I last blogged?! Geez, I must have something to say. Anything. Anyone? No? Dust. Surely my life hasn’t degenerated to that?! Dust? Though they do say that 90% of dust is made up of dead skin cells so it does actually sound quite plausible.Look, I’ve been busy okay. Work has sort of tipped the mercury this past month. Christ’s death and resurrection, the Queen’s birthday and those jolly good ol’ diggers all contributed to three horrendous 4 day working weeks for me. And while I’m still spelling my team with an I the resulting effect was less than desirable. Still, I guess I could have made time to blog but sometimes the pressure to ‘entertain’ (I use the term loosely) is just too great, particularly when the mind is nothing but mush come 6pm.So what has been going on you ask. And you did. Don’t deny it. I guess you could say that my proverbial wings have been all a-flutter. The desire to make the most of the spare time I do have ha...
More About: Fact , X Factor , Factor , Actor , X-Factor

It's A TV Dinner!
2006-04-04 07:08:00
“Mike, get away from that thing.�What a smorgasbord of programming there is on teevee at the moment. I just can’t peel myself away from it. In true Channel 7 style, let’s take a sneak peak shall we…MONDAY:The Biggest Loser – How ironic that the fattest fattie was voted off in the first week, and up until yesterday’s elimination I was convinced Ruth was going to win it all! What a joke. She can barely pull herself out of bed in the morning and yet somehow she made it to the final 5 without losing anything but her dignity. Lazy schlock. And what’s with the rule change? No stacking in the final four? Hmm… have we forgotten what this ‘game’ is all about losers?! The shame.Desperate Housewives – Shut. Up. Teri. We all know Felicity Huffman is the real actress. The best by a suburban mile and clearly deserving of her Oscar nod. Though it seems the ol’ Melrose Miss is taking a leaf out of her book of late. But where’s her son got to? That was one storyline I was...
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Where the bloody hell were you?
2006-03-15 12:49:00
Which Games? The Commonwealth. Of course.Come with me on a journey as I watch the opening ceremony. You lucky country!Ah, the good old pie-chart countdown of past hosts. Not that original but I guess almost mandatory these days. Surfboats chart their way up the Yarra towards the stadium carrying The Baton. And yes, Ray has just reminded me (again), that these are the first Games that have dared to extend beyond the boundaries of the main arena. Shut up Ray. Oh look, lots of flag-bearing fish sculptures mark the waterpath… and what? Australia is represented by an eel? What the? What about the Great White? The shark not Greg Norman.Many things spring to mind when I think of Melbourne… hot AFL footballers, spunky pro tennis players, my sexy ex-boyfriend, but a flying tram? Hardly pant-stirring. Shit, imagine if those cables broke. FUCK! I just saw sparks! Tell me that is part of the ‘illusion’. Wow! How’d they fit all those ‘typical non-conservative melburnians’ inside th...
More About: Blood , Hell , Here , Where , Were

She'll Be Coming Down The Mountain...
2006-03-08 02:17:00
And so we pack away the denim chaps and cowboy hats for another year. Well, most of us decent folk do. For some Sheath Fudgers and Jackoff GymHalls, the trip to Brokeback Mount ain lasts longer than one weekend a year.After an inauspicious start with the launch just over a month ago, it was feared that perhaps the gay community had outgrown Mardi Gras. Irrelevant, outdated and pompous were just some of the criticisms barked after a less than favourable return to the Opera House steps this year. However, as last weekend has shown, there’s a lot more glitter in the closet yet.As 300,000 bystanders lined the infamous strip they were treated to an entertaining, and yet political parade. I watched mainly from the safe (and uncongested) confines of a friend’s overlooking apartment on Oxford Street. After what seemed like an eternity for the Dykes on Bikes to roar past, the show was underway. Aside from the occasional gaps between floats, the parade committee had created quite the spect...
More About: Down , Ming , The Mount

The Thrills Are Alive
2006-02-23 03:10:00
What is you c**t face, Maria?With the Mardi Gras festival now well and truly in full swing it was time to flap the proverbial wings again and ‘get involved’. Participation was taken to a whole new level at last night’s ‘one show only’ screening of  Sing-A-Long-A-Sound-Of-Musi c at the State Theatre. The mid-week reprieve was just what I needed after crawling through the first few days of what has been a horrendous week at work, on the back of a trashy weekend. Yeah, yeah, self-inflicted. What-ever! Goodbye rainclouds, hello sunshine! (eyeroll)  Not really knowing what to expect I guess I wasn’t surprised to see so many people team-with-the-theme, but probably more perturbed by the fact that I myself hadn’t actually even seen the movie in its entirety. Needless to say, I failed to raise my hand when the audience was asked the same question, for fear of stoning. There were some disgruntled looking ‘nazis’ in the row ahead of us. At the risk of bein...
More About: Live , Thrills , The Thrills , Alive

What Becomes of the Broken-Hearted?
2006-02-13 03:12:00
Stupid human body.I’ve been lucky enough never to have broken a bone. I’ve had the occasional set of stitches, a sprained ankle and a sore back but never to the point where I’ve been forced to seek additional help from a physiotherapist or such. So I was gutted when a shoulder injury forced me to withdraw from a tennis tournament last weekend.A chronic rotator cuff tear. Great. Seems I have an undisciplined shoulder blade that does not want to move in the direction it should be and so recent serving efforts seem to have put a strain on the area which has resulted in this minor tear. Undisciplined eh? Funny how the human anatomy is sometimes given descriptions that depict flaws in its character, not unlike real people themselves I guess… undisciplined shoulder, irritable bowel syndrome, raging hormones, lazy eye, grizzling ovary. I’m sure there are others?So I’m sidelined for about 4 weeks and have half a dozen physio sessions lined up over the next fortnight. Shame reall...
More About: Arte , What , Hear , Hat , Heart

Come Into My World
2006-02-06 02:43:00
Undoubtedly the highlight of the 2006 Mardi Gras festival is Kylie, Cocktails & Canapés at the Powerhouse Museum. Held last Saturday evening, the event incorporated the much-acclaimed Kylie: An Exhibition featuring the diminutive pop stars’ costumes, with suitably fruity cocktails and canapés on arrival.The highly sought-after tickets were a Christmas gift from Wilma. We arrived shortly before the 6pm start time to ensure maximum C&C time. It was a real Who’s Who with surely Australia’s most famous drag queen (sorry, gender illusionist) Courtney Act opening proceedings with a tribute to Kylie. And no lip-synching here. A preview of coming attractions with her cabaret show ‘Boys Like Me’ opening this week at the Civic Hotel. Miss Act has come a long way from that not-so-shy boy who snogged me in Stonewall 6 years ago pre-drag days. Makes me wish I’d taken him up on his bathroom invite that night. Oh the stories I could have told…and retold…and retold. I’d be n...
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Holding The Man
2006-01-30 08:59:00
He moves me. Inside. Every breath he takes reverberates through my body. I feel him. The agony and the ecstasy. The pressure of that moment. It’s in my blood now. Running deep. I’m near to tears. I want to hold him. So humble. Very human. The sweat from our brow speaks volumes. I’m too emotionally involved. It’s all just a game. Or is it?How does one describe him… The Swiss Maestro? It was a different Roger Federer that left Rod Laver Arena last night with the silverware. Well, not so much as different but fallible. Don’t say I’m infallible! After displaying the sheer mastery of his game over the first three rounds of this year’s Australian Open, we (the lay public) witnessed something peculiar. An unforced error. What? But this is the man who has dominated the ATP Tour for the better part of two and a half years, losing just 10 matches since the beginning of the 2004 season. Capturing 6 grand slam titles (from last 10 attempts) including a hat-trick of Wimbledon cro...
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Jezus Wept, Yo!
2006-01-20 06:13:00
So apparently skateboarding is back in fashion. Did it ever go out? On route to work everyday I pass a plethora of punkz doing tricks outside St Mary’s Cathedral on College St. There’s a rather expansive cemented area off the church steps with flower boxes, wide steps and mini lamp posts. God’s playground. This becomes their stage, their canvas, upon which they paint their portraits. Morning, noon and night they congregate at the foot of Christ. He could walk on water. Ner ner.They’re a certain breed these shirtless dudes with their tight black jeans, floppy hair and baseball caps. Ollie here, kickflip there… underwear riding higher than their jeans. Could be somewhat appealing if it weren’t for the spotty faces.As a teen myself, I was not much of a ‘boarder, though I do recall owning a mini-skateboard (like, what is that? Girl Alert!)  What was it called? Something like a bulldog or dodgem or something. Yeah right, real menacing. My neighbour however, was, w...

Periplaneta australasiae
2006-01-11 03:09:00
Fucking cockroaches. They shit me to tears. I can’t understand why our place seems to be infested with them?! Wilma & I are exceptionally clean and tidy, never leave dirty dishes out, have plenty of clear surfaces, sweetie… and yet, the little bastards seem to be coming out of the woodwork! Meh.I watered our lucky bamboo plant the other day and it was like Death of the Titanic. There must have been 1 trillion baby ‘roaches scurrying for their lives out of the pot. Okay, so maybe just a few. But they’re breeding like… rabbits? Excuse me, but this is a gay household! Where are the poofs?Thankfully, the infestation seems to have restricted itself to the confines of our kitchen, bathroom and living room. Phew… we never visit there! (eyeroll) I suppose we should be thankful for small mercies in that they’re not venturing into our bedrooms. Heh, clever fuckers. Only two-legged pests are allowed in there and even then they’re likely to get their heads b…Like I said, our k...
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More Pudding?
2006-01-05 02:31:00
Happy New Year!When we last spoke I was preparing for Riza’s visit on the Friday before Christmas. With Miss Murdoch, Wilma and the OC leaving early in the evening after dinner and drinks it was left to Riza and I to haunt the local establishments on Oxford Street. We had a good ol’ catch-up …well, whenever he didn’t have his face planted on some ex-local. Tsk tsk. It wasn’t too late a night as we had our road-trip to Newcastle the next morning. With us both waking with sore heads to rival that of a pair of rhinos, we were on the road early (with necessary pastry supplies and coke). Surprisingly, it went without a hitch and I had him at his parentals before midday. Mind you, how fucking hot was it on Christmas Eve. Stinker. I was keen to quickly make my way across town to my parent’s place but was soon disheartened to find it was not air-conditioned! Thanks! It’s been great. Bye!I spent the remainder of the day playing with my nieces and nephew under the oscillating br...
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12 Daze of Christmas
2005-12-12 03:16:00
*yawn*You know it’s Chris t mas time when you’re carrying around huge sacks (under the eyes), your pants gets a little tighter and you wake up with unexplained cuts and bruises on the body. This must be how Santa feels on Boxing Day. ‘Tis the season. It’s no wonder the days begin to blend into one.Contrary to much popular belief, The Twelve Days of Christmas are not the twelve days before Christmas, but in the Western Church are the twelve days from Christmas until the beginning of Epiphany. Epiphany!? Heh. The only sudden and intuitive realization I’ll be having come January 6th will be to (once again) stop over-indulging at Christmas time. It doesn’t take three wise men and a manger to deduce that.Forget your turtle doves and french hens, here are my Twelve Daze of Christmas. On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love sent to me…12 Drummer’s Drumming – Ouch. My head hurts… those dozen Smirnoff Blacks last night are bruising the backs of my eyeballs.11 Pipers Pi...