The Metamorph The Metamorph Personal diary in which I discuss life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness, and Harry Potter. Am all too frequently finding myself in the midst of making life altering decisions these days, let's see how wonderfully I can muck it all up. 
Articles
Old lady life in bullet points, dammit
2007-08-14 19:03:00 I’m hoping to prevent further posts in which I cry about my feet, having bought new shoes yesterday from a medical uniform shop and two different kinds of gel inserts. I feel like an old lady now. About that old lady thing - one of the bartenders where I work was genuinely shocked to hear my age. “No ... More About: Life , Random , Lady , Bullet , Points
No cheese with that, please
2007-08-12 06:35:00 I’m not even going to complain about the jerks that didn’t leave me a tip today for no damn reason, because what’s more important is the fact that my feet hurt so damn bad I could cry. Note to people who care about me: foot massager = EXCELLENT IDEA for saving what little remains of ... More About: Rant , Cheese , Ease
Thank you, Captain Obvious
2007-08-09 18:42:00 When what you really, really want more than anything in the world at that particular moment is a warm, gooey brownie smothered in hot fudge sauce with a big scoop of vanilla ice cream melting on the top of it, a bowl of stale Honey Nut Cheerios is not going to be satisfying. Like, at ALL. At least my dog seems to be enjoying himself. More About: Obvious , Hank , Captain
Full stop
2007-08-08 21:01:00 “Bridges in America should not be falling down.” Exactly right! Because they should be falling down in Taiwan instead. [/end sarcasm] I do try not to nitpick what other people write, after all, I’m no master of the English language myself. Apostrophe abuse is rampant but I don’t say much about it because I know I misplace commas and throw ... More About: Rant , Stop , Full
The agony of da feet
2007-08-07 23:29:00 Okay, I don’t want to turn this blog into Waiter Rant , but why is it that people still don’t know how to tip when they go out to eat? Why do people still think it’s okay to tip $1 on a $40 bill, even though they’ve had good service? That happened to my trainer today. I’ve waited ... More About: Feet , The A
I like a little tea with my sugar water
2007-08-06 21:09:00 It’s official, I’m employed! I’m going this afternoon to fill out paperwork and take a tour, and I’ll be training this week. I just wish my uterus didn’t feel like it was about to fall out, but I can’t have everything, I guess. I’m also not looking forward to buying jeans - yay for the casual ... More About: Pictures , Sugar , Random , Water , Litt
Apparently it?s because I?m an English speaking non-plumber
2007-08-04 01:07:00 Thank you for the good wishes, Internet, I do believe I’m gainfully employed. Will find out for sure on Monday. My tips for getting a job in five minutes: 1, apply for a job in which all other applicants speak Spanish, thus rendering the hiring manager unable to interview them. 2, apply for a job ... More About: Random , English , Speaking , Plum , Peak
Mish mash, I was takin? a bath
2007-07-31 23:54:00 Ok, internet, wish me luck, I’m going to see a man about a job on Thursday afternoon. It’s a waitressing job and I’m fairly confident - now that I’m able to speak to someone in person - that I’ll be able to get it. I just hope, what with the 52 billion degree temperatures we’ve been ... More About: Pictures , Bath , Blogging , Random , Mash
Muddling through
2007-07-30 04:38:00 I’ve been a bit concerned lately that my writing here has lost that…I don’t know, little zing or whatever it had when I first started blogging. I have also been concerned that I’m suffering severe atrophy of the brain. Related? Perhaps. However, I’ve just sent an email that is chock-full of zing to a friend of mine, so I know it’s ... More About: Blogging , Thinking
Maybe they?re sucking the Miracle Gro from my geraniums
2007-07-28 05:43:00 I just have to ask - what the hell is up with these southern mosquitos? Are they on steroids? I’ve just discovered a bite on my right arm, the swelling around it is an inch and a half long, no lie. I’ve got another bump from one bite last night on my left wrist. The ... More About: Miracle , Rant , Mira , Gera , Rani
Because I’m feeling antagonistic
2007-07-27 04:10:00 Is “antagonistic” even a word? I think it is, I’m just too lazy/tired to look it up at the moment. Speaking of words, my next layout is going to include a tagline, and the tagline is going to include the word “bitch.” I’m bound and determined to destroy radical feminism single-handed(ly?). Or would that be single-blogged(ly?)? “The Metamorph: The bitch bringing you new vocabulary on a spontaneous basis.” This post makes no damn sense. Isn’t it great? More About: Feeling , Feel
O buy, all ye faithful
2007-07-26 01:54:00 I don’t know whether it’s a by-product of living in the Southern U.S. - notoriously the most religious region in the country apart from Mormon Utah - or whether the simple fact of the matter is that advertisers really are crossing over into Eternal Damnation Territory, but I was rather amused by a commercial I heard on the radio today. The advert was for a local jewelry company that I wish I’d caught the name of, but basically the commerical said “Buy our jewelry! God wants you to!” - only a little more subtle. “Gemstones are a gift from God and you should gift your loved ones with them,” basically. So of course, being the very mature grown up human being that I am, I spent the rest of the afternoon going back and forth with my son - “I am buying these shoes because God wants me to,” and “I’m buying a new purse because God wants me to,” snickering in contempt the whole time. Of course, chocolate is also a... More About: Faithful
I?m starting to get on my own nerves, now
2007-07-25 03:11:00 I’m feeling extra bitchy lately. All I can think of blogging about is how badly every person I come across offline is determined to snap my last nerve. Like - is it just me, or should you maneuver around store aisles the way you do when driving your vehicle on the road? I mean, if you ... More About: Blogging , Rant
Because common sense is apparently too much to ask for
2007-07-22 17:54:00 Now that I’ve finished Deathly Hallows - and haven’t spoiled it for anyone, either - I’m back to full-on Internet Surfing. No hiding, no avoiding places like I was last week. So I was clicking around visiting different blogs this morning and I’ve come across some posts saying “Hey, I’ve got my book, reading now!” ... More About: Sense , Harry Potter , Blogging , Rant , Common
HP7: All was well (no spoilers!)
2007-07-22 07:00:00 First things first - I finished reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows about an hour ago and managed NOT to be spoiled, W00T! Just a note for non-HP readers, avoiding book spoilers has become a big deal in this series, especially for books 5 and 6. Well , to amend slightly, spoilers were mainly not to be ... More About: Spoilers
Spoil me and DIE, turdbrains!
2007-07-17 06:51:00 Okay, that’s a little dramatic, yes, but I want to get my point across. I have come across something that may or may not be actual spoilers for “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.” It appears that either scans or photos of pages from the book are running amok on the Internet, and as I’ve said ... More About: Blogging
How to spend a rainy afternoon
2007-07-13 00:34:00 This morning we had a right noisy thunderstorm here, ominous black clouds and all. It’s finally clearing up and becoming sunny outside, but to help pass the gloomy day, my son and I baked muffins together - “together” meaning he asks if can help me, I say “yes,” he fake-grumbles his way through the whole thing, ... More About: Pictures , Afternoon
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: My 2 Sickles
2007-07-12 03:16:00 I could start this post ranting about the trials and tribulations of trying to buy tickets for this movie in my area and/or pondering the insanity of one theater not showing the movie AT ALL, but I won’t. Must get to the good stuff. So, the good, in no particular order: - I BAWLED MY ASS OFF. ... More About: Phoenix , Harry Potter , Order of the Phoenix , Potter , Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
It?s a gas, gas, gas
2007-07-10 05:35:00 I was sitting on El Boyfriend’s lap a little while ago and accidentally farted on him. I didn’t intend to, of course, because I’m not quite that rude; had I known it was coming I would have gotten up and gone into the bathroom. I don’t think he believes me, so we’ll just call it paybacks. I think the ... More About: Harry Potter
Crankypants - Currently the most comfortable item in my wardrobe
2007-07-05 20:56:00 We did end up having a nice 4th of July yesterday, once we got over to the barbeque and I was able to snarf down some alcohol. Beer is just nasty, I don’t know how y’all drink it. Green Apple Smirnoff to the rescue, wheee! I played around with my camera last night and took a lot of ... More About: Item , Rent , Ward , Fort , Crank
Someone pass me a happy pill
2007-07-04 21:50:00 So it’s 2:30pm on a rather bright, sunny day, and people all over the neighborhood are letting off fireworks because wheee! Happy Birthday, America! How fun! Except for the part where I mentioned it’s a bright and sunny day? So you can’t actually see any fireworks? Which is doubly annoying when you take into account ... More About: Holidays , Rant , Pass , Some
In the Wizarding World it would be known as an ?Unforgivable? and land you
2007-07-04 04:23:00 Rated G for all audiences, even though I used the word “whore.” Damn, I need to step up my game. But that’s not the point of this post. We got a new car over the weekend, a Honda Civic Hybrid. El Boyfriend loves it to bits and won’t let me drive it, so in retaliation I’ll be ... More About: World , Harry Potter , Blogging , Rant , Land
Taking a momentary break from minding my karma
More articles from this author:2007-06-29 20:11:00 There is only ONE moment in the History of The Internet in which MySpace RULES, and that is the moment you see your mom call your younger brother’s cheating girlfriend a f*cking whore - on the cheating girlfriend’s blog. Pwned! Now, back to your regularly scheduled “Jerry Springer” rerun. More About: Family , Friends , Blogging , Break , Karma 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 |
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