JournabbleJournabbleIt's about stumbling, falling and getting up again while searching for the meaning of life, true love and a place to be
Articles:
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Articles
Hide and seek
2008-04-15 10:55:00 I make the last weak attempt to get a flame out of these wet matches before my shaking hand lets go, the tiny carton getting a stronger grip of two thin pieces of wood in a cold puddle. My attempts to pick up the pace meet resistance of the sharp needles of water cutting into my cheeks and equally painfully protruding my mind. I am sick of this crying-in-the-rain shit. I am sick of this More About: Seek , Hide
6 a.m.
2008-04-09 18:05:00 I long for other you Unable to release This grip Of fingers turning blue I act at ease Then hide to weep Under my skin From hand of fate Its painful scratch I’ve seen Your falling state Please catch The quiet cue And be For sunrise longer The other you Hold on to me Till I grow stronger And leave behind This place Its dust My lover’s mind His fading grace His lust Your face My past ... I
Landless
2008-02-24 05:11:00 I cough out the eluded spheres Crystal balls of the dark remain I’m surrounded by painless spears Not a feeling in flesh, no pain Running low under thickest shadows Tribes enclose me in trance of motion I race back through the naked meadows Leave the firm for the vast of ocean Rushed attempts to gulp in liberation Suck me in with the vessel’s rubble Cleansing dark under light temptation Limbs
Fire, fire
2008-02-15 07:01:00 I see your sky is coming down with the same color as mine Oh, it seems to me you and I are not safe to combine... So your face sits in front of me, the pupils of your eyes bright, flashes of your smile sincere, our thought exchange meaningful... once again. I can’t help but wonder, what should I do with you? Should I put you in my pocket and carry around like a notebook full of quotes from a More About: Fire
Confessions
2008-02-03 00:12:00 Cold, cold water Surrounds me ... Lord, are you here now Lord, are you here now Or am I lost? * * * Time passes and you forget what you felt and how you felt it. Your mind blurs the edges of kind thoughts, takes the warmth out of feelings and mutes the innocence. It replaces them with cold sarcasm and piercing looks that say, "I don’t care." They are lies reflected in the sparkling mirrors of More About: Confessions , Fess
A wolf
2008-01-02 22:30:00 I hold a wolf by the ears. Nor do I know by what means I can get rid of him, nor how I am to keep him. ~Terence I wanted this wolf so bad but there was one thing I wanted more. I needed to stay free. I could not submit. I wanted to be around and learn from him. I wanted to know him but even more so, I wanted to know myself. He sparked the little whys and hows that set my mind on fire. Why More About: Wolf
Light and Dark
2007-12-31 03:20:00 I used to scan through your hints like one scans through a book with pretty pictures, without diving in first ... I did not understand. It sank in all of a sudden as I was staring blankly at the clouds beneath, flying back from the place in between the mountains where you were born and lived for one day. I had just closed the last page of Mandela’s biography, which took boredom out of the forever More About: Dark , Light
Stop
2007-12-17 09:48:00 Stop chasing your shadow through dreams that are mine The other you’s pondering crossing the line Through nothingness rolling uphill in my sleep The tracks you are leaving are twenty feet deep I shiver, I stumble, I’m not in that dream I run to the places that get what I mean I crash into people that play it just right I back out, I burn out, I’m dying tonight. More About: Stop
A little lost
2007-12-12 05:36:00 "To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket - safe, dark, More About: Lost
Not in love
2007-12-10 23:40:00 “Most affections are habits or duties we lack the courage to end.” ~ Henry Millon De Montherlant I stopped a breath short of loving him in a room where love was no longer present. Only a hint of it has remained, not in his look but in the little heart drawn on my window, long time ago, with someone else’s finger. His attempt of a touch was cold, it was late, it wasn’t sincere. I shivered. More About: Love , Not I
Second chances?
2007-10-19 21:25:00 She wants to be like the water... I can’t speak. I close my eyes and I glide on a smooth surface. Downstream. I can’t think. I am just lying there, letting the current pull me wherever it chooses. I can’t write. My words are sinking. I can’t fight. It’s as if my hands and my feet are tied with some invisible water bonds, which I can’t resist. I have no will to swim against the tide. I watch the More About: Chances , Chan
Grey’s the Color of…
2007-10-12 23:07:00 Under frowns of clouds Through the rustle of leaves I reach out for your mouth I’m not finding your lips Knitted sweaters, wet air Your stretched arms in the rain You try touching my hair I fall back through my pain Words are lost in this weather Puddles eat your reflection I feel wind in your blazer Seeking summer’s affection Warm time’s over, I hear Trees are wearing gold When precisely, my More About: Color
Love Implied
2007-10-04 23:14:00 “Do you know what happens when you hurt people? When you hurt people, they begin to love you less. That's what careless words do. They make people love you a little less.” – Ammu in Arundhati Roy’s "The God of Small Things" It was so easy to forget and forgive this weekend. It was so easy to ask and be forgiven. I don’t think there is a reason in the world to close your heart to either one of More About: Love
You look, I die
2007-09-20 06:17:00 I can write a pile of sentences, reread them and don’t find myself. They are often not good enough. They lack the strength to dig deep, take it out and spill it on paper. Bleeding heart calls for writing in blood and all I see is black ink on a dull white paper. Nonsense. Friday was good and I even believed I was getting better. And then came Saturday. You looked. I died. Again. I want to take
This time last year...
2007-09-14 23:45:00 "When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hang on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn." ~ Harriet Beecher Stow Summer turned into fall in a matter of days here in Nebraska. We barbequed on a friend’s deck waving off clouds of mosquitoes one scorchingly hot evening, and just More About: Time , Year
...in August
2007-09-14 23:43:00 It was so hard to breath last month from both bad heat and bad thoughts. I think that the gloominess of that time, the constant uneasiness in my mind, fears and doubts about the future had a lot to do with the memory I was suppressing in my head for the whole year, trying to forget it altogether. Rereading my post from August of 2006, however, I see that I didn’t want to forget, and I think I
...in September
2007-09-14 23:39:00 And then came the fall of last year. I shook off my tears, set new goals and made sure I achieved them this time. I was determined and productive and September felt fresh. I also met someone who put back a smile on my face and September felt new. I don’t see that person any more, but the memory still makes me smile, and that's all that matters. The wind was playing with my hair as I drove
The music in my head
2007-09-13 17:03:00 "What came first, the music or the misery? People worry about kids playing with guns or watching violent videos, that some sort of culture of violence will take them over. Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands, literally thousands of songs about heartbreak, rejection, pain, misery and loss. Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop More About: Music , Head , The Music , Music I
The God of Loss
2007-09-08 06:58:00 “He tried to hate her. She’s one of them, he told himself. Just another one of them. He couldn’t. She had deep dimples when she smiled. Her eyes were always somewhere else. “That afternoon, Ammu traveled upwards through a dream in which a cheerful man with one arm held her close by the light of an oil lamp. He had no other arm with which to fight the shadows that flickered around him on the More About: Loss , The Go , The G
Before Sunrise
2007-08-31 22:00:00 I believe if there's any kind of God it wouldn't be in any of us, not you or me but just this little space in between. If there's any kind of magic in this world it must be in the attempt of understanding someone sharing something. I know, it's almost impossible to succeed but who cares really? The answer must be in the attempt. - Celine in Before Sunrise I was standing outside last night, More About: Fore
Dreaming with a broken heart
2007-08-23 22:51:00 When you're dreaming with a broken heart, The waking up is the hardest part, You roll outta bed and down on your knees And for the moment you can hardly breathe... - John Mayer I roll out and I wonder... were you really here? You were, just the night before, and after two long weeks of excruciating pain that burned my body and engulfed my thoughts every minute of every day, for a moment there More About: Heart , Dreaming , Broken , Ming , Broken Heart
Don't look back
2007-08-17 17:46:00 I slowly peel the label off a beer bottle. Alone in the dark, my beer bottle and I, and added to our company are now the hair-thin pieces of paper. I asked you that last night, when you were still around, not to do so. Why did it matter? I don’t know why. I walk around the patio philosophically holding my cigarette, just like you did, pretending to be a smoker. I take off my shoes and walk More About: Back
Another thanks goes to...
2007-08-17 00:00:00 Stock.XCHNG The majority of the pictures I use here are from this free stock photo site. It's such a great source and I am tremendously thankful to the Web site and to all the photographers who shared their art. A butterfly and a coffee house are the only photos I took for this blog. I promise to switch to my own pictures one day as photography is one of my passions. But for as long as I lack More About: Goes , Hank
Broken
2007-08-16 07:28:00 Sometimes words hide from me when I need them the most. Sometimes I wish I could speak in tears, in looks, in songs… in silence. If you ever listened to my silence, I mean really listened, you’d hear the beat of the loneliest heart in the world. You knew I was vulnerable but you chose to hurt me nevertheless. I get up and I fall again. I lean on walls. The world is spinning. I hear your voice, More About: Broken
When it rains...
2007-08-09 15:59:00 The clouds dragged themselves with a certain difficulty this morning, as if trying to make it home after a night of partying. They struggled to keep their tails above the treetops, slowly pulled west by the wind. It’s being storming all night and the morning didn’t look like morning at all, I told you as we drove through the wet sleepy city. Distant thunder broke the silence between us,
To my best friend, my dream, my inspiration
2007-08-02 22:34:00 We should have never said a word. We spent most of the evening in a comforting silence, emerged in our work, feeling a quiet bliss in the air radiating from your art and mine. Your heart and mine. You swore at me for judging you. You said you love me a minute later and that hurt too, because I felt I didn’t deserve your love. We won’t remember it as that one night on a curb under a cloudy moon More About: Inspiration , Friend , Dream
Thanks!!!
2007-07-26 20:35:00 I just wanted to thank someone from EatonWeb who took the time to look at my blog and write this review. I know it’s just a couple of sentences but they mean so much to me! Thanks EatonWeb!!! Click here to check it out More About: Hank
On the edge between friendship and more
2007-07-25 17:21:00 You lie on the edge of the roof, your body stretched on a narrow surface between the short concrete wall and the abyss. You look down, then up at me, then down again. It’s crazy, you say, how it just goes straight to the ground. There are some 12 stories underneath us, and the shoe you were tempted to throw down would have ways to fly. I trust your words yet I have a strong urge to check it out More About: Friendship , The Edge , Edge , Ween
This meal I can’t share
2007-07-19 18:05:00 My face seeks the shelter in my palms, A weak protection from the storm of uncertainty. Run away from me! Stop following me into the darkness, We are not too far yet for you to be saved. …Excuse me miss, What would you like today? Can I think for a moment? Why the choices again? Can I please… No, wait… I just changed my mind. Could I first have my confidence back Followed up by some trust on More About: Share , Meal
In between
More articles from this author:2007-07-17 20:55:00 I found two great friends this summer. One corrupts me. Another one tries to save my soul. One tempts me with new experiences, unconditional freedom and the joy of surpassing conventional wisdom. Another one refuses to repeat any irrational ways of mine but does not judge me either. I sense animosity between them. Each one thinks of the other as an extreme, and I am caught in the crossfire. More About: Ween 1, 2 |
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