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Make small changes
2008-04-20 13:05:00
I was chatting to one of my course participants recently. She has been concerned about attending a Springboard programme as she thought that she might have to make radical changes to her life.  She was telling me how she was really pleased that our focus was on making small changes.  That had made everything really easy for her. Today I was reading about a new pilot in schools to promote healthy lifestyles.  The head teacher was saying that asking the chidren to give up their chocolate bar on two days a week was a small enough thing to do that it was OK.  If they had banned chocolae then there would have been a revolt and no progress would be made. One of my colleagues tells a story about a jet leaving London to travel to New York. Imagine that there is a straight line between the two.  Lets say that as the plane sets off the pilot makes a tiny change in the direction that the jet is travelling, only maybe one degree difference.  After seven hours fly...
More About: Small , Make

Conservation of resources
2008-04-17 21:18:00
Many of you will know about the fraught relationship that I sometimes have with time.  I need to keep it all filled and it sometimes gets over-filled and then trips me up. It seems to run too fast when I need more time and then too slow when I'm in anticipation mode!  I've never really got enough of it, so I feel.  Well of course I have, as I have the same quantity of time as you and the person sitting next to you.  Its all about how I prioritise my use of this resource. We all have plentiful supplies of resources. Things like time, energy, motivation, enthusiasm, love, belief, confidence, determination, self esteem, joy, positivity, are the resources that we use for daily living.  We all have these reources and we can chose how we use them and how much we use them.  We all make different choices about how we prioritise the use of our resources.  You might choose to use most of your energy on work and neglect bringing that energy into your home ...
More About: Resources , Conservation

Attitude, attitude, attitude
2008-04-16 10:58:00
Let me tell you a story..... Frank is a bright spark. He used to work with the police on fraud cases.  He left.  He's now working through an agency.  Just recently he had a job where he was so good that he'd done all of his allocated work, had tried to get more, was waiting on other people processing stuff, played a computer game whilst waiting, got sacked for it. His manager fought for him as he was so much better than anyone else. No use, he still got sacked. Then the agency offered him something else in a call centre at £6 per hour.  He thought he'd just go along, after all it was work.  The agency suggested that even though it was a lowly post he should turn up suited and booted. Interview happened. They are building a new call centre. They want him as a team leader, probably quickly moving into management. Frank's success is all down to attitude. If we don't give it a go, just find out what its all about, give things a chance, take a risk, tak...
More About: Attitude

Men are responsible for global recession
2008-04-15 10:24:00
So its now official.  If we had greater gender equality then the world would not be experiencing the global credit crunch.  Men are responsible for the global recession.  If we had more women working in traditionally male dominated work environments we would not be facing the financial downturn that we now find ourselves in.  So how do I work that out then? Well a paper published by a team from Cambridge has shown that daily testosterone levels in city traders were directly linked to the profits that they made.  This shifts them into a cycle of behaviour where they taste success, feel more confident, feel more able to take risks and therefore increase their chance of further success.  Absolutely typical "lads night out" behaviour often seen in single sex male groups. As we all know, what happens is they take higher and higher risks fueled by ever rising testosterone levels and eventually their ability to make rational decisions is compromise...
More About: Global , Recession

Your question?
2008-04-14 11:03:00
I've been away on my NLP course again this weekend so I've come back buzzing with enthusiasm for more success. We were working with all sorts of interesting stuff and its great to be back with this really supportive crowd. Thanks for your input and help everybody. We spent some time over the weekend working on questions.  In our daily lives I believe that we can be lazy and we don't ask enough questions.  Just try this out for a few moments.  First of all read this statement Today I will do many things to contribute to my success What did you notice as you read that?  What happened in your brain?  How did you feel?  What were your thoughts? Now read the following question What am I doing today to contribute to my success? What did you notice as you read that?  What happened in your brain?  How did you feel?  What were your thoughts?  My guess is that reading the question had a more powerful effect on you than reading the stat...
More About: Question

Weasely time
2008-03-28 00:48:00
I seem to have been really busy today yet not crossed too many things off my to-do list. In fact the list got longer as I just got notice of a new tender today and also have a complicated form to complete to join a women's business group.  I think that what I often forget is how long all the little things take.  Then I feel like today might have been a failure, maybe I haven't made any progress.  In those moments I have to reflect what I really did. In counting all of the small things, that weren't even on my list, I feel better. Its easy to be sidetracked by the glorious big things that seem to give you a big win. Tick them off, you feel great.  However isn't it always the small things that keep life ticking over. Remembering to buy the tea, service the car, pay the gas man, send your mother's birthday card. These things can also upset everything if they are left undone. So don't allocate them zero time, as I am wont to do.  Then when you have done t...
More About: Time

Women and Work - Must Try Harder
2008-03-26 20:08:00
Sorry I forgot to mention.... Here is the link to my article in the People Bulletin last week. After 30 years of equality legislation why are women still paid less, doing more unpaid overtime and not getting the top jobs. Two reports give an insight into how we could do better as a nation.  Make way for the queue of women ready to move to Estonia......
More About: Women , Work

The glass cliff - women in the boardroom
2008-03-26 20:00:00
No this is not some esoteric crag where there are sheer climbing routes. Its the description of a phenomenon that can occur when women get into the board room.  It had been suggested that getting women on the board could lead to financially poor performance.  It had also been shown that women are often offered risky places on the board where there was a high chance of failure - the glass cliff. New research out today from the CIPD looks at this. It shows that companies performing badly are more likely to appoint women to the board so the financial poor performance is nothing to do with it being a woman on the board.  Secondly the glass cliff phenomenon is uncoverd in greater detail. It seems that firstly women are more likely to be offered risky posts as they are thought better able to cope with them. Then the perceived risk is underestimated until the woman is in the post. Also women are more likely to take these risky posts as they may be unable to get any other bo...
More About: Women , Glass , Cliff

The magic bus
2008-03-25 23:38:00
I've sold my old car and today took it off to the garage for a service and MoT.  This left me with no transport to get home.  After getting a lift into town I managed to get a bus that would stop down in the village.  I can't remember the last time that I got the bus in this direction.  I'm usually going in the opposite direction, towards Newcastle. My journey gave me a completely different view of the town and the countryside. I was able to see into people's gardens that I couldn't see from the car. I love to see gardens, its a vicarious interest as I only have grass and then fields with sheep. I saw how the patterns of fields, trees and grand buildings fit together in the hinterland of the town. I could also see how the River Irthing, running through its deep valley below Hadrian's Wall, has probably been scouring this out for millennia. I have never had this perspective on the river before.  Even walking on the other side of the valley the vista is...
More About: Magic

The snow wins
2008-03-24 16:10:00
Yesterday I was up in Scotland taking my skis for a walk. We had planned a traverse route from Ben More near Callander, southwards across a couple of other hills ending at our second car. We ended up being much later leaving than intended because I had arrived late.  This was due to waking to an unexpected 3 inches of snow. This made my journey out to the main road quite interesting.  Then we failed to find the right track through the forest so had a tricky ascent up a stream to break out onto the hillside. Then it was just hard work. Eventually there was enough snow to put our telemark skis on. We were skinning up mainly neve, aiming for a ridge to gain access to the main mountain. This was slow work as we were working across a slope and had to do much of it edging instead of going straight up. It was also pretty windy, blowing spindrift into our faces and lifting me off my feet once.  Eventually we topped out on the ridge and could then see the rest of our route st...
More About: Snow , Wins

Breaking and entering
2008-03-20 23:37:00
I had to break into my own car last night. Clearly I'm not cut out for a life of crime as it took me about half an hour.  I'm selling it. I have a replacement already and the old car has been standing for ages.  Its got a flat battery and not enough power to run the deadlock from the alarm system. And I couldn't get the key to turn in the lock. Ho hum, the wonders of technology. Its all my fault though. Its right outside my office window. I know the battery is likely to go flat if its left for too long, but every day I do nothing about it. It would only take a few minutes to run the engine periodically and charge it up.  But no, real life has intervened, too involved with other stuff to get around to it. How often is that the case with so many things in life. We think about getting round to it and suddenly its been a week, a month, a year.  How will it be if you neglect your friends, family, relationships, fitness, career just because you couldn't get round...
More About: Breaking

Just an ordinary gal
2008-03-19 23:46:00
Well on Monday I met Theresa May, Shadow Minister for Women. I can't remember if I've ever met a real politician before. It was refreshing to meet someone who holds such an important position but seemed so grounded and real,  Just like an ordinary gal. And what was even better was that we talked and she listened. We talked about the £12.5 million that Darling has in the budget to encourage female entrepreneurs.  We wanted to know how this was going to be distributed. As with many of these things it may have been dropped into the budget at the last minute and Theresa didn't know how it was going to work. Along with the other women sitting at my table, we voiced the opinion that it should not be distributed by Business Link.  If this was the plan then they might as well just throw the money in the bin now, as it will never get to the right place in the right quantities.  The problem with Business Link is that all of their advisers are retired male civil servan...
More About: Ordinary

Taking action
2008-03-18 14:35:00
I was chatting with a friend a while ago. He was moaning about the success of someone  that we both know, lets call him Bob (not his real name).  He felt that Bob was a bit of a fraud. Bob actually isn't very good at what he does and has nothing new or different to offer anyone. My friend was jealous as he felt that he should have that level of success as Bob.  However we both agreed that what Bob had done was take a huge amount of action and this had lead to him reaping the rewards. We all start off with the same chances in life and also the playing field is level to all of us at many other times in our life.  If you are all emerging from uinversity with similar quality degrees then you all have equal chances. If you are on a training course with lots of others then you all have equal chances to learn. If you are on The Apprentice or in Dragon's Den then you have equal chances.  If you are applying for a job then you have just as much chance as the next ...
More About: Action , Taking

Born Happy
2008-03-06 08:40:00
Have you got one of those friends who is phased by nothing?  They are happy all the time, have a big circle of friends for whom they are the social hub, they never forget birthdays, visit their granny and always have a positive solution to your problems.  They seem to have sailed through life and never worried about being ugly when they were a teenager or being a bad parent when their kids were small. Well, it seems from recent research that they may have been born happy.  Yes, apparently happiness is in your genes.  The study looked at people who who tended not to worry and were sociable and conscientious.  they compared sets of identical and non-identical twins.  And they found that there can be a genetic pre-disposition to happiness! Already I can hear you all blaming your genes for being miserable, depressed, antisocial and so on.  Stop right there.  Just cos its in your genes (or not as in this case) doesn't mean its inevitable.  ...
More About: Happy

Time to play
2008-03-05 15:31:00
When I was in junior school I loved getting outside at break time.  This has probably contributed to my love of being outdoors now. The other thing that I liked was the ability to play, to spend time doing creative and fun things. We had a great game where we all dressed up in whatever clothes were around and held a fashion show, with judges, all over one break time.  Many many childrens games are connected with role playing, pretending to be a character, taking part in a drama that they call a game. Yet as we become adults we lose that protected time to play and we shy away from pretending.  This is sad as creative play is a great way to learn and also to try out new behaviour or situations.  So if instead of worrying about how you might get on when you meet that new person or how it will feel when you get to your interview, just try it out and play with it, gettign a friend to help. We are also far too serious.  If you approached life with a mroe playful...
More About: Time , Play

Just pretend
2008-03-01 13:24:00
This week I had a brilliant speaker on one of my women's programmes.  She tells a great story of grappling her way onto the career ladder as a single Mum with two young girls, borrowing a typewriter before an interview to assess her typing speed, working all night towards her qualifications then taking her girls to school in the morning.  Despite all of this and her achievements so far she still says she isn't a confident person, which surprises most people. She gets away with it though cos she pretends to be confident.  As she says once you've got some make up and lippy on then you've created a different confident person who could take on the world. Her trick is to pretend to be confident.  It works cos other people can't tell the difference between you pretending to be confident and the real thing.  Confidence is not the only area of your life where you can use this handy trick to achieve your goals.  By pretending in other areas to can try on t...

Just ask
2008-02-28 23:42:00
I was out with a friend the other night and he was telling me all his woes.  His life is sort of lying in ruins around his feet yet he is soldiering on grimly.  In the course of our chat it became obvious that there were several things that he could easily get sorted by asking for help from particular people.  I asked him why he hadn't asked these people to help. What followed was a litany of excuses, don't want to bother them, take up their time, put pressure on them, seem too needy, appear too out of control, don't want to feel like I can't manage my life, they'll probably say no.  Sorry mate, this is all a load of rubbish.  All the people that he might ask are reasonably articulate adults.  Why is he doing all their thinking for them?  If they don't want to help they will just tell you. If you've got stuff that someone could easily help you sort out then just ask!! You do not know what the response will be.  They will probably be v...

Alan Sugar
2008-02-26 22:49:00
A couple of weeks ago you may have seen the news about Alan Sugar saying that he'd throw women's cvs in the bin cos he couldn't ask them questions in interviews about how they would manage their home committments to make sure they could get to work on time.  Well when I read an article about this last week in the People Bulletin Online I was so incensed that I wrote them a very angry letter. Here is the link to their article Well it seems that they are going to publish my letter and they have also asked me to write an article about my viewpoint to give voice to all those who may disagree with what Alan Sugar said.  I'm really pleased that they will publish the letter as I dashed it off with great haste and had almost forgotten about it.  The opportunity to raise the profile of women's development with an article is fabulous so I'm really glad to have been on my writing workshop this weekend as it gives me extra confidence about being to write convincingly. W...

Horizon on TV
2008-02-23 21:40:00
There was a great Horizon programme on TV this week that I didn’t see cos I don’t have a TV. This was originally an accident as someone moved out and took the TV with them.  I wondered about this for about 5 minutes and then decided not to buy another one.  I’d found that I was frustrated by it more then I was educated or entertained and now after about 9 years without it I don’t miss it at all.  Except when there are programmes like Horizon.So the other night I actually did another audit about the pros and cons.  What do I gain by not having a TV and what do I lose by not having one?  I have to admit that I still feel that the gains are greater than the losses. When we don’t have something or lose something we tend to dwell on how much we lose by not having the thing.  If we instead think about what we GAIN by not having the thing then the lack of it takes on a whole new perspective and very soon we’ll wonder why we ever wanted it or nee...

Get everything done
2008-02-22 11:57:00
Well if we could all do that there would be no need for all these expensive motivation gurus and self help books.  However if you are anything like me then most of what needs to be done escapes you for one reason or another. So yesterday I finally got around to doing a job that's been waiting for months, years even.  I have a jerry built porch and a pretty shabby back door.  There are gaps in the porch brickwork through which I can see daylight in the general direction of our ever blowing wind.  That means that when its anything above breezy, which is most of the time, a really cold wind blows under and around the back door. Yesterday was particualrly windy and I got absolutely fed up wth getting chilly ankles sitting working at my desk.  So I finally went out and attacked the gaps with expanding foam filler.  Hey its great stuff to use, I can highly reccommend it.  Suddnely after I had filled all the gaps it was much quieter in the porch, no ro...

You shall have chocolate...
2008-02-19 22:16:00
I'm going to make millions of you very happy now.  Its official, chocoloate is good for you, its actually good for your brain.  Yes, yes, I can hear you saying we already know that.  We already know that chocolate stimulates the production of feel-good chemicals, thats why its so addictive. No, this news is even better.  Now we know that dark chocolate boosts your brain whilst protecting you from heart disease and cancer. Eating 20-150g per day can improve learning and memory, but this is only true of dark chocolate not its milky cousin (move over the milky bar kid, the secret of the black magic box is revealed).  Dark chocolate has more antioxidants than green tea and increased blood flow to the crebral cortex has been shown to persist for up to 3 hours after eating it.  Rates of heart disease, strokes and diabetes are lower in places like Panama where dark chocolate is drunk as part of the everyday diet.  The secret is a flavanoid called epicat...
More About: Chocolate

Setting standards
2008-02-18 10:35:00
I've had a friend staying this weekend and on Saturday we went for a circular walk taking in a section of Hadrian's Wall. We were out for about 5 hours and walked about 9 miles. Although it was cold and frosty it was also very sunny and we had a very enjoyable walk.  If I  had been planning a walk that I was going to do by myself I would probably not have set out on the route that we did as it would have seemed too short and not challenging enough.  This would have been a mistake as the route was very interesting with some tricky navigation across fields and great views across to the Solway Firth.  We met friendly horses, furry cows and noisy geese.  We saw oystercatchers, herons and more geese at a bird hide along the route.  It was altogether a worthwhile trip. It reminded me that I need to be careful about setting standards that are too high or working towards goals that are too big.  This has the effect of putting me off even starting. ...
More About: Standards

Winning prizes
2008-02-16 10:22:00
I've won a prize for one of my poems.  This is a surprise to me since it was scribbled in haste on a train one rainy morning in October as I was on my way to the Metro Centre. The poem will be published in a collection that is due out soon.  I also got a lot of laughs with two poems that I wrote at the last minute for the poetry Speakeasy in Carlisle last week. There are two things to learn from this.  Firstly that we all interpret things in differnt ways.  What I saw in my poem was a hasty observation of something happening on the train.  Was the judges saw was something different that warranted publication.  When writing for the speakeasy the words just came out onto the page and I wasn't really controlling what was happening, other people judged it as funny. Secondly, its worth remembering that you don't have to polish, polish, polish to get work that is good enough for the job.  I know that many of us agonise over getting things just right...
More About: Prizes , Winning

Camping in hotels
2008-02-12 10:28:00
Yes the hotel was horrible last week and I did end up sleeping in my clothes, not actually getting much sleep.  Then I got up, washed my face, went out and drove to the client site to deliver my training, eating my breakfast as I was setting up the training room. It all worked OK cos I started to imagine, on getting back to my chilly hotel room, that it was just like a camping trip, and camping is an activity that I enjoy.  So it was good to have a bed that was actually better than having to lie on the ground; the room was warmer than it would have been in my tent and the toilet, although down the corridor was a lot closer than if I'd been on a campsite.  I wrapped myself in the bed cover as if it was a sleeping bag and piled the blankets on top and it was as warm as my five season sleeping bag.  So overall it was a very successful camping trip, a much more positive experience than a rubbish hotel stay. How we preceive things can make the difference between ha...
More About: Hotels , Camping

When it all goes wrong..
2008-02-05 22:05:00
Imagine my exciting life.... I am sitting in Macdonalds taking advantage of their free wireless.  They keep it much colder in here than they used to so that people are discouraged from sitting in here all night with one cup of tea, I've got my winter coat all buttoned up and my ankles are freezing.  I'm only sitting in here cos I have erroneously booked a hotel that is more akin to a bothy than a welcoming establishment where you might spend a restful night before a tiring day delivering training. This "hotel" has no facilites for food or even making hot drinks except a very suspect looking vending machine in the foyer.  There are only shared showers and toilets at the end of the corridor and they are not gender segregated. My room has a wall heater the size of a piece of A4 paper and it was freezing when I went into it - thats why I'm here, I was hoping it would be warmer. I turned the heater up to max before I left.  The bed covering was the thic...
More About: Wrong

Silver Linings
2008-02-03 22:35:00
I spend a lot of my time asking people to look for the positive things in their lives and sometimes I need to remind myself about this too. Its been a really busy week and I have done 5 days of full day meetings and training delivery at three different places around the country.  So by the weekend I was pretty tired and also had more work to do, writing some tender specifications and a session for a conference in March.  I decided that I was not going to work on Friday night and caught myself reflecting how busy I had been. Some of you will remember that it seems only 5 minutes ago that I was writing about not having enough work and having work cancelled.  Yet here I was dwelling on how much work I had. So I gave myself a mental shake and thought about the cash flow benefits of being busy.  That made me feel better.  Then I thought about the other silver linings of not being busy. Although I did no paid work between the middle of December and the beginning...
More About: Silver

Breaking rules
2008-01-13 12:34:00
Today I had a bacon sandwich for breakfast.  Well it wasn't just an ordinary bacon sandwich.  It also had grilled cherry tomatoes and sliced apple and it was made with toasted-on-one-side soya and linseed bread (not that I am fussy about my food!).  However it does break lots of rules to eat like this.  I have friends who say you shouldn't eat fuit and meat together (duck a l'orange?), who don't like sweet and savoury foods together (chinese sweet and sour?), who like their toast almost cremated, who wouldn't buy cherry tomatoes cos they are extravagant (56p in tescos?). All of these are rules that they like to live by.  But when you stop and think about your rules, how many of them are really your own rules?  We are all carrying around rules we have inherited from our parents, school teachers, family, culture, country, friends and heroes.  And when we break these rules we may feel secretly guilty or surprisingly free. So here's a new idea....
More About: Rules , Breaking

Having a break
2008-01-10 21:28:00
Great to get away skiing.  I cancelled my holiday in April cos of work in the Middle East so I haven't been on skis for nearly a year.  I was concerned that I may have forgotten how to do it, this happens to me every year. But I was OK and my skiing has improved.  We even had some pretty good snow in the 3 Valleys over xmas and then at La Plagne/Les Arcs over New Year.  The conditions were good enough to ski off-piste every day so we had a pretty tough holiday - came home to recover. But I did wonder about lots of other things that I used to do and have had a break from.  I generally find that you can pick things up again pretty quicky, really like riding a bike.  But I do know that I've often worried about not being able to do things after not doing them for ages and this has stopped me having a go.  I know that we get lots of women on our courses who worry about not being able to take up studying again after their kids have left home or worry ...
More About: Break

Day off!
2007-12-19 03:01:00
Today I've been in Sheffield with my Administration Manager, Sylvia, having our company Xmas party.  We went to a little Italian restaurant and had a leisurely lunch with a glass of wine or two. It's great to be able to have a Christmas party and almost a day off.  The problem with being self employed is that there is always something to be doing.  Even today I've been on the phone to our bank, credit card company, suppliers and business advisors. However as we walked out of Sheffield station on our way into town I felt very great.  I can't remember the last time that I did something like that and it was refreshing to be going out on a working day to do something that wasn't work.  We all need a day off, whether its from the family, from work, from looking after someone, from pretending, from fear, from pressure and stress, from Christmas, from the weather. What do you need a day off from?  When are you going to do that?,

Life's pleasures
2007-12-16 21:59:00
This weekend I've been baking.  Making flapjacks and fruit cakes for friends and to take away on my skiing holiday.  There's nothing like an apple and fig flapjack made with muscovado sugar to perk you up when your energy is flagging at the end of a long run.  I have a great fruitcake recipe that involves boiling up the fruit with the sugar and butter but I often put it outside in the freezing cold to cool down and then remember too late when it has all set again.   Recently I boiled it for too long and it caremalised, the resulting cake was fab! I've really enjoyed all this kitchen activity and one of the reasons is that I haven't done it for ages, made stuff like this, I mean.  All the hurly burly of travel and work tends to overtake me and I don't have time.  Also I have no-one to cook for at home so I usually end up making stuff for friends.  However its great to be there getting my hands dirty again and its reminded me how easy it i...