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Tasty
2008-06-08 19:28:00
A few weeks ago I was contacted by TastyBaby.com to represent the Dads of the Blogosphere! by writing some content for their upcoming Father’s Day celebration.  Honored and goony with delight, I took the opportunity to write another sonnet: Eighty-Eight Keys to Overzealous Parenting. Syllabically speaking, Eight-Eight scans well but don’t count on any reliable amount ...SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "Tasty", url: "http://www.familyrags.com/fhtp/2008/06/0 8/tasty/" });

Home Alone
2008-06-05 17:23:00
Starting Friday, Megan is going away to her childhood summer camp with her childhood summer camp friends for a long weekend of reliving their childhood summer camp memories. I never went away to summer camp as a kid and I?ve always been secretly1 jealous of Megan?s halcyon summer days spent bunking in a cabin by ...SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "Home Alone", url: "http://www.familyrags.com/fhtp/2008/06/0 5/home-alone/" });
More About: Parenting , Cartoons , Cruelty

Sign, Sign, Everywhere a Sign
2008-06-02 02:44:00
Back in grade school, our class did a unit (haha) on sign language. We learned some basic words as well as the alphabet. I still remember how to sign my name?complete with the pinkie swoosh flourish?though have never been called upon to do so in the heat of any moment. Apart from this instruction, ...SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "Sign , Sign, Everywhere a Sign", url: "http://www.familyrags.com/fhtp/2008/06/0 1/everywhere-a-sign/" });
More About: Parenting , Milestones , Hazel

You Can?t Spell Maine Without M-E
2008-05-27 22:00:00
As I have detailed in the past here and here, I think I am the center of universal attention ? hence the blog and all. Despite my debilitating self-absorption, I actually managed to ride my new bike to work last week without breaking out in a nervous sweat (or any sweat at all; the two-mile ...SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "You Can’t Spell Maine Without M-E", url: "http://www.familyrags.com/fhtp/2008/05/2 7/m-e/" });
More About: Philosophy , Homeownership

Garage Banned
2008-05-20 19:29:00
Last night was our free estimate appointment with a local contractor ? we?re hoping to put up a two-car garage. Not having a garage stinks, especially in Maine where winters are cold and snowy. Plus, it?d be cherry to have a place to store the lawnmower, snowblowerthrower, bikes, and sundry other things that we don?t ...SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "Garage Banned ", url: "http://www.familyrags.com/fhtp/2008/05/2 0/garage-banned/" });
More About: Homeownership

Happy First Birthday, Hazel!!!
2008-05-15 20:09:00
Excuse me, Hazel ? How old are you today? Darn tootin’! SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "Happy First Birthday , Hazel!!!", url: "http://www.familyrags.com/fhtp/2008/05/1 5/happy-first-birthday-hazel/" });
More About: Birthdays , Milestones

Workin? ?n a Buildin?
2008-05-12 19:26:00
Megan and I have moved a lot over the past eight years ? seven times by my count. It?s like one of us is in the military or wanted by the authorities (or both á la The A-Team!) and we have to keep stealing away in the midnight hours. I have to seriously wonder if all ...SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "Workin ? ?n a Buildin?", url: "http://www.familyrags.com/fhtp/2008/05/1 2/workin-n-a-buildin/" });
More About: Work It

Toro Tirade
2008-05-08 20:16:00
Picture yourself in front of an impossibly tall door that can easily be opened, but not by you. Imagine, if you will, the sound of a small hand smacking against a pane of glass. Visualize the frantic motions of someone whose dexterity is still in beta development, spurred into action by a burning need to ...SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "Toro Tirade", url: "http://www.familyrags.com/fhtp/2008/05/0 8/toro-tirade/" });

Don?t Grumble - Give a Whistle
2008-05-05 17:33:00
One of the best skills a person can have is the ability to put a positive spin on a potentially bad situation. I?m not talking about someone who blindly ignores the icky parts of life in favor of Precious Moments figurines and posters of kittens staunchly ?hanging in there.? This optimistic outlook needs to be ...SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "Don’t Grumble - Give a Whistle ", url: "http://www.familyrags.com/fhtp/2008/05/0 5/dont-grumble-give-a-whistle/" });
More About: Philosophy , Homeownership

All Wet
2008-05-01 18:01:00
I realize that I have been remiss in reporting funny Hazel anecdotes, illustrated by unbelievably cute photos of our little girl. Just so you know, this post won?t really have much to say about Hazel, but with her First Birthday coming up in just two weeks(!), she?ll have much attention lavished upon her. For now, ...SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "All Wet", url: "http://www.familyrags.com/fhtp/2008/05/0 1/all-wet/" });
More About: Friends , Birthdays , Homeownership

Ich Bin Ein Baby
2008-04-28 01:49:00
Megan and I had lots of misgivings before sending Hazel to daycare. Would we become strangers, ranking behind all those fun teachers? Would she learn all sorts of nasty behavior? Would she be permanently snot-ridden and coughing? The pessimistic litany went on and on, our cyclical conversations on the matter amounting ...SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "Ich Bin Ein Baby ", url: "http://www.familyrags.com/fhtp/2008/04/2 7/ich-bin-ein-baby/" });
More About: Philosophy , Parenting , Milestones

American History Leads To Wendy?s
2008-04-22 04:16:00
My work trip to Chattanooga ended very nicely. I even found time to walk around their downtown, which is darn nice what with the river walk along the Tennessee River, the Walnut Street Pedestrian Bridge, and the spacious, wide sidewalks leading to loads of quality restaurants. The nice thing about doing consulting work ...SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "American History Leads To Wendy’s", url: "http://familyrags.com/fhtp/2008/04/21/am erican-history-leads-to-wendys/" });
More About: Travel , American History

American History Leads To Wendy?s
2008-04-22 04:16:00
My work trip to Chattanooga ended very nicely. I even found time to walk around their downtown, which is darn nice what with the river walk along the Tennessee River, the Walnut Street Pedestrian Bridge, and the spacious, wide sidewalks leading to loads of quality restaurants. The nice thing about doing consulting work ...SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "American History Leads To Wendy’s", url: "http://www.familyrags.com/fhtp/2008/04/2 1/american-history-leads-to-wendys/" });
More About: Travel , American History

Tennesseein? Is Tennebelievin?!
2008-04-16 01:02:00
Greetings from sunny Chattanooga, Teneessee! The last time I was in this state, Jim, his Cherokee Territory wife (Christina), and me were ascending its highpoint, Clingmans Dome, along a snow-strewn access road under a bright midnight moon. Following this summit, Jim got really, really sick from gas station Cheetos and we hunkered down ...SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "Tennesseein’ Is Tennebelievin’!", url: "http://familyrags.com/fhtp/2008/04/15/te nnesseein-is-tennebelievin/" });
More About: Sports , Technology , Travel , Hazel

Tennesseein? Is Tennebelievin?!
2008-04-16 01:02:00
Greetings from sunny Chattanooga, Teneessee! The last time I was in this state, Jim, his Cherokee Territory wife (Christina), and me were ascending its highpoint, Clingmans Dome, along a snow-strewn access road under a bright midnight moon. Following this summit, Jim got really, really sick from gas station Cheetos and we hunkered down ...SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "Tennesseein’ Is Tennebelievin’!", url: "http://www.familyrags.com/fhtp/2008/04/1 5/tennesseein-is-tennebelievin/" });
More About: Sports , Technology , Travel , Hazel

Consarnit
2008-04-10 17:55:00
Megan and I are both getting more parent-y by the second. We?ve already moved well beyond the not-being-grossed-out-by-bodily-excretion s stage; most mealtime conversations revolve around what Hazel did or did not pass through her body that day. Hopefully, this is the only time in our lives that taking a massive poop at the dinner table qualifies ...SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "Consarnit", url: "http://familyrags.com/fhtp/2008/04/10/co nsarnit/" });

Consarnit
2008-04-10 17:55:00
Megan and I are both getting more parent-y by the second. We?ve already moved well beyond the not-being-grossed-out-by-bodily-excretion s stage; most mealtime conversations revolve around what Hazel did or did not pass through her body that day. Hopefully, this is the only time in our lives that taking a massive poop at the dinner table qualifies ...SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "Consarnit", url: "http://www.familyrags.com/fhtp/2008/04/1 0/consarnit/" });

Big (Dave) Apple Hitchin?
2008-04-08 16:48:00
We are back refreshed from our mini-vacation to the green southern lands of Connecticut and Manhattan. Seriously, flowers are growing down there while here in Maine all plant life is dormant and mostly brown. In fact, the only green grass I have seen is on Hadlock Field as we drove through Portland yesterday ...SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "Big (Dave ) Apple Hitchin?", url: "http://www.familyrags.com/fhtp/2008/04/0 8/big-dave-apple-hitchin%e2%80%99/" });
More About: Family , Travel , Friends

Big (Dave) Apple Hitchin?
2008-04-08 16:48:00
We are back refreshed from our mini-vacation to the green southern lands of Connecticut and Manhattan. Seriously, flowers are growing down there while here in Maine all plant life is dormant and mostly brown. In fact, the only green grass I have seen is on Hadlock Field as we drove through Portland yesterday ...SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "Big (Dave ) Apple Hitchin?", url: "http://familyrags.com/fhtp/2008/04/08/bi g-dave-apple-hitchin%e2%80%99/" });
More About: Family , Travel , Friends

Important Stuff In Varying Degrees
2008-04-02 21:07:00
Work is a bear right now, albeit a rather friendly bear that only chases you up gumdrop trees and, once cornering you, just mauls you a little bit with filed down claws. Still, I have a few things to report: I am addicted to blog theme redesign. I simply cannot help myself lately; I find a ...SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "Important Stuff In Varying Degrees ", url: "http://www.familyrags.com/fhtp/2008/04/0 2/important-stuff-in-varying-degrees/" });
More About: Family , Pathetic

Important Stuff In Varying Degrees
2008-04-02 21:07:00
Work is a bear right now, albeit a rather friendly bear that only chases you up gumdrop trees and, once cornering you, just mauls you a little bit with filed down claws. Still, I have a few things to report: I am addicted to blog theme redesign. I simply cannot help myself lately; I find a ...SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "Important Stuff In Varying Degrees ", url: "http://familyrags.com/fhtp/2008/04/02/im portant-stuff-in-varying-degrees/" });
More About: Family , Pathetic

It?s Not Quite Breakfast
2008-03-31 21:17:00
In celebratory honor of my completion of hundreds and hundreds of words worth of freelance lawn mower reviews, Megan’s new 17” MacBook Pro laptop finally being delivered, Hazel’s deft mastery of getting from the living room floor to the back of the futon using only guile and a well-placed footstool, and my possession of a ...SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "It’s Not Quite Breakfast ", url: "http://familyrags.com/fhtp/2008/03/31/it s-not-quite-breakfast/" });
More About: Parenting

It?s Not Quite Breakfast
2008-03-31 21:17:00
In celebratory honor of my completion of hundreds and hundreds of words worth of freelance lawn mower reviews, Megan’s new 17” MacBook Pro laptop finally being delivered, Hazel’s deft mastery of getting from the living room floor to the back of the futon using only guile and a well-placed footstool, and my possession of a ...SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "It’s Not Quite Breakfast ", url: "http://www.familyrags.com/fhtp/2008/03/3 1/its-not-quite-breakfast/" });
More About: Parenting

When Hazels Attack!
2008-03-28 16:07:00
SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "When Hazel s Attack !", url: "http://familyrags.com/fhtp/2008/03/28/wh en-hazels-attack/" });

When Hazels Attack!
2008-03-28 16:07:00
SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "When Hazel s Attack !", url: "http://www.familyrags.com/fhtp/2008/03/2 8/when-hazels-attack/" });

Too Many Hands
2008-03-24 17:01:00
On Friday, we invited my in-laws over for an evening of dinner and Easter egg coloring. Sometime after the former but preceding the latter, Hazel began her nightly mantra: “Bap, bap, bap.” Translated, this means Bath, bath, bath. Early on, we instituted a bedtime routine for Hazel that always begins with a quick bath. So, ...SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "Too Many Hands ", url: "http://www.familyrags.com/fhtp/2008/03/2 4/too-many-hands/" });
More About: Family , Sleeping

Too Many Hands
2008-03-24 17:01:00
On Friday, we invited my in-laws over for an evening of dinner and Easter egg coloring. Sometime after the former but preceding the latter, Hazel began her nightly mantra: “Bap, bap, bap.” Translated, this means Bath, bath, bath. Early on, we instituted a bedtime routine for Hazel that always begins with a quick bath. So, ...SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "Too Many Hands ", url: "http://familyrags.com/fhtp/2008/03/24/to o-many-hands/" });
More About: Family , Sleeping

Oh God, You Hazel
2008-03-20 18:02:00
As my darling wife reports, Hazel has been a handful lately. Hazel, once a stationary baby content to sit still and rip the pages from a magazine, has become the crawling equivalent of Speedy Gonzales. And don’t get me wrong, it’s fantastic that she has become such an efficient crawler. But, sometimes you just want her to stay ...SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "Oh God, You Hazel", url: "http://familyrags.com/fhtp/2008/03/20/oh -god-you-hazel/" });
More About: Nintendo

Ten Months Mademoiselle
2008-03-17 20:02:00
In lieu of paragraphical content and in honor of Hazel crossing the ten-month threshold, here’re some quick Hazel stats: Age: ten months, two days Height: 29 inches or so Weight: 20-ish lbs No. of Teeth: six visibly through the gums, two more nearly there Ability to Crawl: attained and utilized mercilessly to exploit her parents’ sleep debt Ability to Walk: reliable ...SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "Ten Months Mademoiselle ", url: "http://familyrags.com/fhtp/2008/03/17/te n-months-mademoiselle/" });
More About: Birthdays , Cruelty

Bacheloring: The Big Dave Way
2008-03-12 15:57:00
I headed down to Vermont on Friday for Big Dave ’s Bachelor Party. Seeing as how we left the state over a year ago for the Narnian splendor that is Midcoast Maine, I looked forward to getting back to our old haunts. I cruised into VT around 7 p.m. on Friday with much honking of horns ...SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "Bacheloring: The Big Dave Way", url: "http://familyrags.com/fhtp/2008/03/12/ba cheloring-the-big-dave-way/" });
More About: Travel , Friends , Adventure