Just Another Girl On The IRT

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Articles: 1, 2

Cluck if you buck
2006-12-07 06:20:00
"Sisters get respect, bitches get what they deserveSisters work hard, bitches work your nervesSisters hold you down, bitches hold you upSisters help you progress, bitches will slow you upSisters cook up a meal, play their role with the kidsBitches in the street with their nose in your bizSisters tell the truth, bitches tell liesSisters drive cars, bitches wanna ride...Sisters tell you quick "you better check your homie"Bitches don't give a fuck, they wanna check for your homieSisters love Jay cuz they know how 'Hov isI love my sisters, I don't love no bitch..." - Jay-ZWhen I decided to air out my utter disgust over the whole Superhead quagmire, I didn't think I'd still be getting residual clicks from people searching for any trace of dirt this long after the fact. But then again, this is the Internet and searches for the desperate and salacious know no bounds. Besides a couple boosts to the ol' Site Meter isn't a bad trade off. Fast forward almost two years later and history...
More About: Buck

Jeers and loathing in Las Vegas
2006-12-07 00:13:00
Far be it from me to give these two tramps credit for anything, but Paris Hilton and Britney Spears certainly had the right idea by bailing on Monday night's 2006 Billboard Music Awards. if you missed it, consider yourself spared by the clusterfuck of mediocrity. So the show already on a wing and prayer when it came to public interest went hostless last night, save for occasional voiceover from the the Mr. Moviefone school of TV announcers. On the plus side, that meant that the Bill-bored Music Awards could just concentrate on the music. On the negative side, that also meant that the Bill-bored Music Awards could just concentrate on the music. It's bad enough that they're dished out to the retail darlings who dominated the charts all year, so even a deaf-mute could predict the results long before the "nominees" are even made public. But yet, lack of comparable alternatives on the tube usually reels me in for the annual snoozefest despite the danger signs flashing before my eyes. ...
More About: Las Vegas , Vegas , Vega

One yodled over the cuckoo's nest
2006-12-05 16:02:00
Is there another pop superstar who blurs the lines between mega-watt likeability and platinum blonde vacuousness with as much joie de vivre as Gwen Stefani? Try as I might in vain to hate her, but the truth is, I love her and all the blissful band camp dorkiness that she encompasses. Well, at the least, I can settle on our relationship skewing love/hate because she makes being utterly annoying the car wreck I can't help but rubberneck for a peek.Case in point: Lead single "Wind It Up", championed by frat girls coast to coast who've had one too many shots of Jagr and should be in a taxi on their way to bed but instead choose to channel their inner Coyote Ugly for passed out bar patrons instead. As radio singles go, it's an absurd-sounding concoction that lederhosens to the brink of utter ridiculousness, but there's something almost admirable about this "throw the wackiest shit on the wall and let's see if it sticks" approach. I mean, let's be real...this is limburger cheese, no...
More About: Nest , Cuckoo

A fever I can't sweat out
2006-12-04 21:35:00
Okay, so I'm probably gonna get my platinum hag pass revoked for admitting that I just can't fully grasp the whole Beyoncé thing. Pretty in the conventional Black Barbie sense, check. Above average chops, check. Overrated, check. I already hear the angry stampede of bitter twinks in the offing ready to stab me with a Bandolino heel for daring to disparage of Our Lady of Knowles. Nowadays you can't swing a Fendi purse without knocking over four bottoms who'll scratch your eyes out for throwing shade to the diva-in-training who single handedly made the Bedazzler relevant again. But I'll take my chances.She's the kind of artist that I want to like, but I just can't bring myself to actually drinking the laced Kool-Aid and succumbing to the madness. I mean, the whole all-girl backing band yet only strumming about 3 chords max was a good idea, I suppose (in theory only) and a step in the right direction. My beef with Bey — as cohorts who've heard me riff on the topic kn...
More About: Fever

Because closed legs don't get fed
2006-12-04 03:54:00
Charlotte: Is it so much to ask that you not wear your dress up around your "see you next Tuesday?"Samantha: My what?Charlotte: (drawing characters in the air): C - U - Next...Carrie: Tuesday? Oh my God! Was that a Schoolhouse Rock I missed?A day without a Britney Spears fuck up is like trying to keep a Kennedy from open water. Despite being a singer who hasn't released a new album in 3 years, people still talk about her now more than ever. In the media-dominated, starfucking shithole our society's come to, that old adage rings more true now than it ever has been... no publicity is bad publicity. Just when you thought the Access Hollywood generation couldn't possibly sink twenty-somethings any lower, we've now reached a new low. Twat is the new black. Oh, how I long for the innocent age of the planned nip slip at sporting events.As it turns out, all those Catholic schoolgirl come-ons couldn't get her any further than a K-Mart weave, an ugly C-section scar, and a swollen, stretc...
More About: Legs , Closed

Oh the weather outside is frightful...
2006-12-01 19:17:00
However, lunch takeout is so delightful... (I'm going Mexican to wind down the work week, if you even care.) In spite of the skyline resembling a snapshot of Hades outside my office window, the pressure systems have to be working voodoo over the Eastern seaboard. My brother's practically buried alive over in Colorado with the pummeling the Midwest has taken, yet the thermostat is flirting with 70° here in the city. Can't remember the last time I've needed to keep my desk fan on through November.For the Angelenos on the Left Coast, seeing folks stroll around in 3" miniskirts and Ugg boots and little else is relatively normal this time of year. But not on December first in New York! Here we are, ready to barrel into the heart of my favorite season full throttle and I've gotta contend with a tasteful way to peel off layers short of sitting in my cube half naked. Needless to say, I'm not pleased. Will the assholes who think global warming is junk science and basically spit on...
More About: Weather