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Even Superman has Kryptonite...
2008-04-28 09:12:00
For the good of this online bunker of player-pimpological armaments, I must share an example of personal defeat once experienced a while back. Remember, the philosophy of DW is that closing the deal is a marathon, not a sprint; you may stumble and trip in the beginning, but you can still taste victory in the end. So take heed of this lesson, and mistakes can be averted:On one of my many trips to the clubs of the hallowed Tender-Nob, I hooked me a veritable marlin. We're talking top shelf here. Something like this:I had game for acres, spewing from every orifice (even ones I had no idea I had) and she was feeling it from the get-go. Anyways... long story, short story, I was nearing home plate back at my place with this very girl, and something knocked on the door inside my head."Uh, what are you doing?""What does it look like I'm doing?""Yeah... don't you think she deserves some respect? You know, wait until the next date or something, maybe after a nice dinner, before you go a...
More About: Superman , Kryptonite

Raising/Having a Bar
2008-04-16 09:05:00
You see it almost everyday. You walk down the street, and you see a girl that stops you in your tracks. Though she caught your eye initially, your peripheral vision also noticed the man on her arm. Naturally, you size him up. Surprisingly, he wouldn't turn heads in a mental clinic. Let's just say, based on appearances, he's not a guy who would make you jealous after seeing him hit on your ex-girlfriend.Our initial reaction is to hate on this guy. "What's she doing with him?" "Whatever, I bet he's rich." Don't hate. Of course he's rich! No mystery there. Maybe you should get back to work!The confusing situation is the opposite. When you see a relatively good-looking guy with an obviously less attractive companion. I'm fascinated by this. How does this happen? Is he happy? Does he know? Should we care? Could that happen to me? (No, for the record.)When a friend finds himself in such a situation, tread carefully. If he is genuinely entranced by the girl's charm, humor, charism...

Depressed Women Have More Sex - Your News, My Views
2008-04-12 17:25:00
Your News :In a little reported news story here in the US, the foreign press provides us with some fair and balanced journalism on the stories that really matter:http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun/s tory/0,21985,23407853-662,00.htmlDEPRESSE D women have more sex than those who are happier, regardless of whether they are in a relationship or not, a study of Australians has found.A survey of Melbourne women presented at an international mental health conference has concluded that females who suffer from mild to moderate depression have a third more sexual activity than those who are not. They also had more sexually liberated attitudes, a bigger variety of sexual experiences and, if single, were more likely to partake in casual sex, Dr Sabura Allen, a clinical psychologist at Monash University, said. "It was more sex and more of everything from kissing to petting, foreplay and intercourse," said Dr Allen, who studied the recent sexual experiences of 107 depressed and non-depressed women who...
More About: Women , Views , Depressed

Pre Season Stretches
2008-04-01 06:10:00
As you know, or should know, Outdoor Drinking Season (ODDS) in San Francisco is fast approaching. Locales outside of the City may refer to this time of the year as "Spring" or "Summer".We find ourselves heading into what is possibly the worst month of the year when it comes to putting in Work. Spring has not quite sprung, yet at the same time, the necessity of a warm body on a cold night is quickly diminishing. As the economy of our nation heads into a recession, so too does the energy and libido of our City.Here's how to make the most of it.Think about a Saturday night in the Winter. You're on a dance floor and everybody's just so happy to be warm that you can probably get close to girls slightly to moderately out of your league as a result. When May rolls around, this strategy will not work. Once the street festivals begin, drinking and socializing takes place outside, in the sun, with little clothing and lots of sunglasses.I'm not sure why, but while blatantly hitting on a pe...

First Impressions
2008-03-26 02:35:00
Everyday, I get dozens of e-mails asking how to pick up women. The truth of the matter - however unnatural and fundamentally opposed to everything you've ever learned about the opposite sex – is that a woman actually picks you. Worse yet, women are shamefully superficial: a woman will judge a man on his appearance alone, regardless of how big her rack is. And just how long after first sight does it take for a woman to decide if she’d sleep with a guy? Try 8.3 seconds. That's 1.7 seconds faster than your typical rocket launch. Stonking!
More About: First Impressions , Impressions

Found In Translation
2008-03-22 22:37:00
Ok. Check it.You're at a bar/pub/lounge with a homie. Looking around you see the minimum quantity of females that tells you, "Hey, let's stick this one out for a round." You know, just to get your feet wet (and hopefully something else). By now, you should know the method or mentality you must have to really set you apart from any douchers or wenises in the joint. Any way you bring it, you must do it in a fun manner cuz that's the difference maker.Once you've gained the confidence, along with your good ol' pal, you should come up with a nice back story. This should also make you stand out just enough to peek the female interest. So here's an example that, if well rehearsed and well executed, can land you with at least one hot number for the night. If not, just relocate and start another angle:When your introduction is taking place, be yourself down to the T. When she is being introduced to your homie, have him keep silent, and you say, "Oh, don't mind him too much, thi...
More About: Translation

Brief Dudity
2008-03-20 07:17:00
I just watched the first part of the John Adams miniseries on HBO. For those of you that watch HBO, you know that most shows are prefaced by disclaimers such as "mild violence", "strong language" or everybody's favorite "brief nudity". In The Sopranos, this typically meant one of Tony's girlfriends. In Deadwood it usually meant one of Al Swearengen's prostitutes. In Rome, it typically meant the voluptuous Atia, who for various reasons loved getting/being naked.These are all good things. So when I saw this at the outset of John Adams, I thought, "Ok, nothing wrong with a little revolutionary era hanky-panky." But what do I get? A half a second of some dude's bidness in my eye as he's stripped prior to being tarred and feathered. My hopes, dashed. In my mind, this does not qualify as "brief nudity". We need another term for such displays of man-parts (see post title for suggestion).Please write your congressman immediately.

Gotta Be Freshmen
2008-03-19 00:52:00
It's been a while since my blessed words graced the pages of this godly blog. So do accept my sincerest apologies, start a roaring fire, pour a fresh glass of Knob Creek, and wipe your glasses clean. This will be good...This story goes back, way back. Back to when girls were just starting to discover their god-given gifts could be used for evil. By evil, I mean manipulation. But the funny part is, as guys, we really don't mind, do we now? So on with the story... I was a Junior in high school, just got my driver's license, and I had a small number of conquests under my belt (namely one). And the crop of girls just got bigger and better with each passing year. We're talking fresh crops. Now, my experiences with girls of my age, at the time, were lukewarm at best. Going through those post-pubescent years, I had my fair share of hurdles and pits to get past, and stumble I did. Fun? Not so much. Necessary? I'd say so. I wouldn't have game right now if it was easy. T...
More About: Gotta

Big Love
2008-03-18 06:54:00
Depending on the population of any given location you probably have anywhere from 10% to a .01% chance of being the best looking guy in eyeshot; objectively speaking. These are not good odds. They apply similarly to your chances of being the richest, most charming, and best smelling guy in the vicinity. So the question is, how does the human race perpetuate itself? How does a loser like you find a mate if the chances are SO low that you are the most desirable to mate with?These are important questions. The answer is simple. Society has evened the playing field for us. What if there was no standard of monogamy? Awesome, right?! You could have a bevy of women, a different one each night of the week! But take a minute to think about that. Do you really think that your girlfriend, or failing that, the last girl you hooked up with would rather be your one and only than Brad Pitt's 12th wife?A monogamous culture isn't sounding so bad now, is it? Here's how you use it to your advantage....
More About: Love , Big Love

Really? Really?...
2008-02-29 03:15:00
Ok. Admission: I'm an avid fan of digg.com. I think that the jury is still out on how much of a dweeb that makes me.Anyway, one of today's most popular stories on this site can be found here. It has got to be some of the worst advice I have ever seen ever. This is unfortunate, because I imagine that a lot of the users on digg.com could use some good advice. Here are some of the gems in the article:1. "Keep contact to a minimum." Actually: You should do this if you want her to a) think you're not interested b) think you have never before touched a woman or c) start looking around the room for a man with some cojones.Obviously, you shouldn't have your hands all over a girl you just met, but some physical contact is absolutely necessary to gauge your chances and also express interest. For example, any time that you have the need to point across the room, put your hand on her back (not ass) and get close to her. You know, so that you can tell if your pointing is accurate. Also, a...

Can't Get There From Here
2008-02-11 05:32:00
The most common question I get asked when I am talking to the ladies is "Where do you live?". Not "Where are you from?" mind you. They want to know specific address of where I house the furniture that stores my extensive collection of Hanes boxer-briefs (just like MJ). I've often suspected no one asks where I am from because it leaves the window open that I might ask them the same question. Since 99.99% of the girls asking this question are trying to leave their central valley/midwest/inland empire roots behind and embrace something more chic, you will never get "Where were you raised?" or "Where are you from?" asked - UNLESS you are currently visiting from somplace else and forcibly bring this up.Pretending to be a visitor (preferably from a perceived chic locale) in San Francisco is a great way to score chicks. Best part is no props are needed other than a friend to cooborate your story. I can’t help with that, but I can certainly help you create a believable back-story that...

Pure, Unadulterated Gold
2008-01-23 09:02:00
I think that in order to counterbalance the "blumpkin" post (I googled it. DON'T google "blumpkin"), I need to tell this story.I was having dinner with my best dame down the street at the Fairmont hotel. It sounds a lot classier than it is, because the restaurant at the Fairmont, a hotel known for being San Francisco's residence for visiting foreign dignitaries, is the Tonga Room. Take a Rainforest Cafe, shrink it about 75%, replace all the fake looking crap with faker looking crap and you'll have yourself the Tonga room. Nevertheless, it was a good time. The drinks are pretty stiff.Anyway, I remembered that it was my grandma's birthday so I stepped away from the table to make phone call. Yea, I'm pretty much a saint. I've already got g-ma on the phone by the time I get to the exit, and when I open the door, there is this beautiful late 20-something blonde having a cigarette just outside the building. Now, keep in mind I was taking my girl out on the town, so I'm not afraid t...
More About: Gold , Pure

Blumpkins
2007-12-22 05:53:00
Anyone know what a blumpkin is? I do. Anyone know what a blumpkin feels like? I don't. Jaded by the game becoming too easy, I may have found a quest worthy of my talents. Stay tuned...

Evite Responses
2007-11-16 04:48:00
You can't put a premium on a good evite response. Sure, like anything else there's detractors to those who take this opportunity to showcase their wittynessosity. You know the girl who always lists her evite response as "insert witty comment here." She's a hater. We all know that girl. She's also the least original person we know and is guilty of far reaching lameness.Guys, listen up: A good evite response can cite a virtual giggle fest, and if you've really put time into your response, you'll know I'm right. For a solid 3-4 years my *go to* evite response, to any party be it Super Bowl, colleague's birthday, Tara Reid's house warming, was to go down the list of "accepted" responses and pick a girl's name that didn't have one of those annoying (+1)'s next to it -- obviously indicating that she would have a boyfriend with vertical striped shirt in tow.Next, I check the 'yes' box and in my response and type: "Stacy, I can't believe you'll be at this party! There's no ...
More About: Evite

The Rifle vs. The Shotgun
2007-11-09 04:37:00
When you find yourself in a social setting surrounded by beautiful women you need to know how to approach the situation. One method would be to zero in on one target, become familiar with her, focus on her, and leave it all on the field. This can be referred to as the Rifle Method. Alternatively, you can work the room bouncing from conversation to conversation to see what sticks. This would be the Shotgun Method. In every scenario that you find yourself, you need to determine which method to use. The Shotgun Method should be utilized in the following situations: Always The Rifle Method should be utilized in the following situations: Never Time and time again, scientists have determined that 98% of women will not respond to a man they’ve just met if they know for certain that he is on the hook. Man isn’t the only gender that likes a chase. So mix and mingle, and never get too interested in one conversation. Because people are watching, and nobody wants to be second...

Chasing The Rainbow
2007-11-04 18:37:00
"Give it 30 more minutes...""C'mon I know a place that is still open...""I said I wasn't going home unless it was with a chick and I meant it...""Nothing good gets going until 3 in the morning..."Odds are you've heard these lines in one incarnation or another sometime in your bar/club going life. Remember when you were a little kid, and somebody somewhere decided to blow smoke up your ass by telling you about the leprechaun's pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? You were skeptical then, or maybe it took and attempt or two before you figured it out.My question is, if you don't believe in leprechauns, why do some still chase the rainbow. The belief held by some, usually inebriated or disillusioned soul, that things are going to pick-up/turn around by staying out increasingly late or running all over town in hopes of finding that metaphorical "pot of gold."My suggestions:1. Pick a location the gives you multiple nightlife options. If one place sucks, pack-up and head next do...
More About: Rainbow

The Dog Conundrum
2007-10-25 08:41:00
If you live in San Francisco or, I imagine, any place where men are trying to meet women, you may see a young man walking a dog, but it doesn’t look quite right. The walker does not look relaxed as one should when walking one’s dog. The walker is alert, upright, eyes darting from left to right and totally aware of his surroundings. In severe cases, the leash might as well be fishing line and the dog a worm on a hook. I personally don’t have a dog in the City, but I think that often it’s better to be on the outside looking in to analyze some of these situations. If you’re thinking about getting a dog, here are some tips: Make sure that you don’t feel like a tool when you say what kind of dog it is. i.e. “Poodle” sounds 100% toolish. “Labradoodle” 110%. On the other hand, you have a “Jack Russell Terrier”. A “mutt” is also cool and makes you look socially consciousBe cool. Let the dog do the work. Try not to look like guy ...

Learn Some Easy Tricks Now, Earn Free Drinks Tonight
2007-10-24 04:38:00
Courtesy of http://mymoneyblog.com/:There is a fun TV show in the U.K. called The Real Hustle, which shows various scams and hustles. One useful area is proposition bets - Primarily done in bar scenarios, the goal is to score some free drinks. Here’s a classic one; it’s easy to remember and doesn’t require wasting any alcohol.This next one that just requires some loose change, a dollar bill, and an empty glass:And here’s one more that is a bit more involved:I'll let you know how this works...
More About: Drinks , Tricks , Free , Earn , Tonight

Bridesmaid Breakdown (Part 2)
2007-10-21 20:49:00
You must move with the urgency and precision of a SWAT team kicking down the door, deciding who’s a civilian, and ghosting the bad guys before they can fire back. Strategy? Your target is the second-hottest bridesmaid. Trust me on this one. Her natural jealousy of the first-hottest bridesmaid, which has been simmering in her small-but-attractive breast since the rehearsal dinner, will make her an absolute maniac in bed.If you miss the second-hottest bridesmaid, immediately initiate your system of mental triage. Scan the room for identical dresses, and prioritize them in order of hotness, quickly eliminating those wearing wedding rings from your horizontal dance card.Finally, never forget that bonus points are awarded for scoring multiple bridesmaids, separately and together, naturally. Ergo, if you find yourself bedding a dud, you can still salvage the evening by sweeping back through for seconds. Leave no bridesmaid unturned.
More About: Part , Bridesmaid

Two Rules
2007-10-18 06:39:00
My dad and I have never spoken much about women and how to approach them, talk to them woo them, and the like. This is probably because a) I was embarrassed by talking to my dad about these things and b) he had already given me the two pieces of advice I needed: “Look good. Smell good.” He would say this as we were leaving the house from time to time. I think it was meant more as general life advice than advice about attracting the opposite sex. Then again, you could give me advice about origami, and I’d still apply it to attracting the opposite sex. I cannot stress enough the importance of these two rules. This is what I took them to mean: Look Good This does not mean that you need to wear a tailored suit on a Tuesday afternoon (though I’m sure that would get attention). It means that before you walk out the door, it should be easy for people looking at you to know that you know what you look like. Does that make sense? Basically, you should realize that at ...
More About: Rules

Bridesmaid Breakdown (part 1)
2007-10-17 04:37:00
All the talk on here lately about Wedding Crashers has me thinking about that big day when most of the PUAs concede that the game has gotten the best of them for the last time and decide to settle down.Although the thought of losing your best wingman to some dream killer may scare some of you, think of the positive windfall that will be coming your way: bridesmaids.A wedding - specifically, someone else’s wedding - should get you 35% more laid than any other event. Numbers don’t lie.How could this be? What gives weddings their 35% more layage advantage? Bridesmaid s, my friend. Bridesmaids. A bridesmaid is infinity times more layable than an actual woman - hopped up on a drug known on the streets as long-term commitment, disoriented by a profusion of guys in panty-melting formal wear, and by and large, drunk.Wedding receptions are the Toys-R-Us shopping spree sweepstakes prize of pickup venues. The challenge is not in acquiring a bridesmaid, (kid, candy store) but in finding the ...
More About: Part , Brea

Eye Rape
2007-10-12 08:38:00
The term “eye fuck” has been around for years and years I’m sure, and was recently made popular by The Wedding Crashers. This past weekend, I encountered a girl that took this tactic (almost) too far. We were rollin 4 deep down Union Street when we passed this girl (brunette) and her friend (blonde) and I got the Look. There was no question as to its intent, though there was some question as to its intended target. Stunned, in the most literal sense of the word, I stopped and looked right back. The girl stopped and her friend followed suit. Now, as you should know, I’m spoken for (and in direct violation of the code of DJ Milk as decreed below), but the girl was cute enough and was obviously on the prowl so I gathered the posse and went over there to see if we could make the magic happen for somebody else. We all conversed for a minute or two and they seemed like nice enough girls. Nice enough not to give the kind of look that I thought I had just been given. I began to doub...
More About: Rape

Long Distance Relationships (Part 2)
2007-10-12 07:59:00
Advantages and Disadvantages of Long -Distance Relationships A matrix by DJ MilkProsGuaranteed sexSave $$ on constant datesVastly diminishes chance of getting caught in bed with her friend(s)Easy to break off (via telegram)Offers “I’m in relationship” excuse if ever caught in room of horny heifersExposure to new languages, culturesChicks dig dudes with girlfriendsCons???But friends, a long-distance girlfriend is not a wife. Long-distance girlfriends are the Lays potato chips of women. They are meant to be enjoyed in massive quantities, with tasty dips and spreads. The more long-distance relationships you have, the more guaranteed sex partners you have. It’s simple math, and one of the very few times math can get you laid.
More About: Part , Long Distance

Broads Abroad
2007-10-10 00:10:00
Recently, a dear buddy of mine made the harrowing yet fruitful trek from New York to Cali via motor vehicle. Dangerous? Yes. Exciting? Yes. An immensely high probability of snagging a multitude of talent along the way? Oh, you better believe it. For a guy who has pretty much stayed within the confines of his hometown for 98% of his life, he had his first taste at being the newcomer, the outcast, the lone wolf. This classic role has stayed true for decades if not centuries, and the best thing is that you don't even have to leave your own state to reap such benefits. There is only one rule of thumb: the farther you go, the more appealing you become. If you are from Nebraska and you moved to NYC, big difference. If you are from LA and you moved to Prague, bigger difference. You catch my drift. Step One, get a plane ticket or rent a car.Step Two, go somewhere, anywhere. the next county if anything.Step Three, get out there to those local spots. Just allow yourself to enjoy...
More About: Broad

Long Distance Relationships (Part 1)
2007-10-08 23:32:00
Once again my lagging readers have proven how little of my advice they actually absorb from day to day. An e-mail this week revealed that one of them found the strength of character to embark on the amazing journey that is a long-distance relationship, something I have been advocating for years. However, he admitted he would not be seeing other girls during said relationship, clearly missing the point entirely.Now, we all know long-distance is delightful. An L-D-R provides S-E-X in two outstanding locations, at home and abroad, at highly controllable intervals. A man in an LDR secretes the irresistible pheromone nature bestows upon all men with girlfriends, which the babes on the home front will sniff out like a trained pig targeting truffles in the woods. And it is nearly impossible for long-distance girlfriends to keep tabs on what you are doing at any given moment. Later this week, I will break down the pros and cons, show some falshing graphics, and document a personal case hist...
More About: Relationships , Part , Long , Long Distance

The After Dinner Drink
2007-10-05 07:24:00
You got some digits? Yea? Congratulations! You win… nothing! Unless you got her number as she was leaving your place the next morning, you still have plenty of work cut out for you. Here’s my suggestion:Call her on Tuesday to invite her out for a drink on Thursday at, say, 8:30. The after dinner drink serves multiple purposes:You do not want to buy her dinner, not because you’re cheap, but because if you’ve already ordered by the time you realize you can’t stand the sound of her voice, you’re up shit creek for the next hour and a half. If it’s a Thursday, you have the best excuse to bounce, if things aren’t going well, or if they’re going just well enough for you to quit while you’re ahead, you say (while stretching arms) “Welllll, I better be getting home. Big day tomorrow.”If it’s going well, you can either attempt the nightcap, or ask to see her on Friday.You’re cheap and don’t want to buy anybody dinner.
More About: Drink , Dinner

Chicks X 2
2007-10-05 04:27:00
Captain Ahab chased an elusive white whale. Dan Marino, the Superbowl. What's my personal Everest? Identical twins. Identical twins.While I've enjoyed the company of siblings, fraternal twins and even - courtesy of a misleading online photo - conjoined twins, I've never taken a dip in the monozygotic gene pool that produces 2/3rds of my own holy trinity - identical twins.Surprisingly, until the age of 16, I found doppelgangers to be creepy, unnatural and, let's face it, redundant. But all of that changed one crisp, fall evening in the early 90s… While fast-forwarding through commercials on my Baywatch tape, I noticed a spot for Wrigley's Doublemint chewing gum. It featured two IDENTICAL women in bikinis, inserting sticks of gum in their mouth at the same time. That day, a boy Milk became a man Milk.As advertised, Wrigley's had indeed doubled my pleasure, doubled my fun. This past weekend I inched closer to "nirvana in stereo" with a spicy doublet from SFSU, only to be thwart...
More About: Chicks

When Should You Wear Jeans To The Strip Club
2007-10-03 04:14:00
NEVER!Whenever I visit a gentlemen's club, I always consult my pre-strip checklist beforehand to maximize both my enjoyment and my overall value, because if there's anything more exhilarating than an erotic dancer's pom-poms in your face, it's knowing that you got your money's worth.Converted sufficient currency to singlesHid ATM /credit cards deep in wallet yet still accessible in case of rare "twins" scenarioCleverly planted fake movie producer business cards on person where they might "accidentally" fall out, preferably into dancer(s) braWhile these three checkpoints apply to my own burlesque patronage, I suspect there's one more basic precaution most of you will forget as you giddily prepare for a magical night of dancing nipples: Jeans . Never, I repeat NEVER, wear jeans to a strip club. Here's why:9 Reasons you NEVER Wear Jeans to a Strip Club 9. Cloth pockets are roomier, more elastic, allowing for a thicker wad of cash. 8. Denim clashes with a club's leopard, zebra, o...

Wingman Do's and Don'ts
2007-10-03 03:23:00
When your buddy is flirting with the waitress at hooters and she actually brings your table freebees:Do: Tell her how great your friend really is. Lie if you have to.Don't: Grab her ass on the way to the bathroom.When you're dancing after hours at Temple and you see your friend chatting up two good looking ladies:Do: Scoot up with your best dance move and ask if they've been invited up for a nightcap at the place with the best view in the city yet.Don't: Stumble over and try to french kiss the "hot one"

Movies NOT to Live By
2007-10-02 05:59:00
The Wedding Crashers I know. It’s a good movie. Hilarious even. I completely support your decision to watch this movie again and again. Alls I’m saying is, don’t go to a bar and tell a girl that you think we only use “10 percent of our hearts”. I think that the writers intended the pick-up lines and schemes to be over the top, but I want to make sure that YOU know that. I’m not sure the same can be said for…HitchOn this one, I think that the writers might have been taking themselves seriously. Let’s just break it down a little bit:“Any guy can sweep any girl off her feet, he just needs the right broom.”Bull. A lot of movies would have you think this. The fact of the matter is that this is simply not true. Not to say that ugly dudes can’t get attractive girls, but they can’t get ANY girl; at least not without fundamentally changing their personality. This, of course, is terrible for your game. Case in point: Woody Allen (ugly) nabbed Mia Farrow (attractive), r...
More About: Movies , Live