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Ending Hiatus and Sudoku for Dummies
2007-06-19 22:30:00
Whew! It's been quite a while since I blogged about something. I think I have taken a long enough break, and I think its that time now what people say "It's back to business". To be honest, I've completely forgotten how I've my blog coded for certain features to work, so designs and posts might be a little sloppy for some time. Old readers, hopefully you're keeping an eye for new posts in my blog, and welcome to any new readers out there. I hope you'll find some fun reading my blog! For my comeback, I thought I'd start off with a funny pic I made. Here it is:Technorati tags: Funny, Humor, Pic, Comeback, Sudoku , Puzzle, Humour, LOL, ROFL
More About: Dummies , Ending , Hiatus

Smartass Google
2007-04-21 15:36:00
Google can be such a smartass sometimes. To experience this yourself, go to Google Maps, and click on the Find Directions tab. Type in "New York, USA" in the start address box, and "Paris, France" in the end address box. Hit get directions, and scroll down the search results into the 20's and see why Google is a smart ass . Technorati tags: Google, Maps, Google Maps, Funny, Smartass, Humor, Humour, New York, Paris, France, USA, America, Directions, Pic, Hilarious, ROFL, LMAO
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Awful Movie Stunt
2007-03-26 20:00:00
If you watched the movie "Hercules in New York" and thought the stunts in it were awful, you are right. I certainly did, especially that awful scene where Arnold fights with a bear... and you can clearly see the retard under the bear costume. Anyway, just when I thought it couldn't get goofier, one of my online friends, Trevor, sends me a stunt clip from an Indian movie... which is indeed goofier. Here's the clip...Funny as hell, isn't it? Technorati tags: Video, Goofy, Humor, Funny, Movie , Stunt , Horse, Indian, India, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Hercules, New York, Humour, ROFL, LMAO, Awful

Cricket at its Worst
2007-03-25 13:30:00
We're just two weeks into the Cricket World Cup '07 in the Carribean, and there is just too much news about it... for all the wrong reasons. This World Cup was slated to be the most boring of all since it began in 1975, but it has been making a lot of news, again for all the wrong reasons. It has been filled with controversies, from a funny one like the fallen sight-screen at a practice game to a horrible one like Pakistan team's coach, the great Bob Woolmer's mysterious death, especially soon after the shock defeat of the team to minnows Ireland.Add to this, the early exit of "Team India" after losses to Bangladesh and Sri Lanka, the excitement reduces a fair bit. And the controversies seem to be happening away from the Carribean as well. Pakistan captain Inzamam's retirement probably was forced, both by the Pakistani management and the "passionate" cricket loving public of Pakistan, after their shock defeat and eventual exit from the Cup. The Indian public seem to be at the ...
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Chicken Eating Cow!
2007-03-21 15:10:00
Lal the Indian cow has good taste in a meal. Who likes dried grass, or damp hay anyway? That's exactly what the cow thought. And Lal, the non-vegetarian cow from Calcutta decided to treat itself to its master's chicken. After a few rounds of chicken, the cow really fell in love with having chicken for lunch. And dinner. And breakfast. The cow kept chowing down and the chicken kept disappearing. The farmer family decided to stand guard at night at the cow shed, after 48 chickens went missing in one month. And they had the shock of their life when they caught their family cow red handed... err... red feeted?.Perhaps Lal is one of the cows in this picture...An expert vet says the cow's strange behavior is due to "lack of vital minerals in the body". Whatever that means . I think the cow was a tiger in its past life, just like the villagers believe. Villagers are always right. Apparently, there are videos of the cow achieving this feat, but I haven't found one yet. It would have bee...
More About: Chick , Chicken , Eating

The Importance of Thumb
2007-03-16 18:06:00
I didn't realize the thumb was so important for everyday life. Actually, I never cared about the thumb... until I cut myself. No. It was not out of an emo moment. It was an accident. Honest! If you don't believe me, screw you! I was trying to cut the damn tag with a blade from this new shirt I bought, and whamo! I was in a hurry and didn't realize I should be taking it slow, and that I should have had my fingers away from the direction the blade was "travelling".Anyway, I just realized the importance of thumb, even though it has no use in derogatory gestures. I can't lift a damn spoon properly, can't dial a number, can't lift things. Heck, I can't even move the mouse properly without my thumb. The only thing I could possibly think of doing without the thumb now is taking a shit. And then just now, with some trouble, I made a little GIF to humor myself. Here it is:And by the way, I'm going to sue the shirt company for having 495783452 damned tags on their shirt.Technorati tag...
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Fence Plowing. Wow.
2007-03-11 18:13:00
"Fence plowing". It's the new in-thing amongst American teenagers with no life. First, it was Ghostriding. Just when I thought it was the lamest idea anyone could come up with, someone outdid their retarded self and came up with this fence plowing (Actually, it was me. Everyone everywhere knows that, but one Adam Schwarzenneger-something got his 15 minutes of fame before I could call up Fox news ). Here's the video:AhEm ... Two things... First, Fox news is groundbreaking. Any channel that interviews the lowest common denominator of the society is groundbreaking. Way to go. Give the producers a cookie. Second, like this one commenter on YouTube points out:Perhaps somebody should point out that, a few weeks ago when the story first aired on FOX and they were saying it's "the latest teen craze", there were only 7 returns on you tube and 94 on Google when I search "Fence plowing". Up until that point, I've never even heard of the thing. "Now there are a whole bunch of fence plowers ...
More About: Wow , Wing

World Cup: A Preview
2007-03-09 18:55:00
Cricket's biggest event is just four days away, and I can't wait! It seems days away, though its very close. It's like when you want to pee urgently, you don't want to hold it in any longer and just want to open the flood gates, but the restroom seems miles away. That's how I'm feeling at the moment! That Australia got anally raped by England first, then New Zealand makes things more interesting, because this one wouldn't (hopefully) be a one-sided event like it was the last time around.This is probably India's best chance at winning the Cup, since most sides are plagued by injuries. It was a miracle that India got through to the finals the last World Cup with a weaker side than the present one. Plus, the momentum was missing last time, after the team was anally raped by New Zealand (not that there might be a coincidence of the Aussies getting into the finals this time around). But this time, we're the only team along with South Africa, England and New Zealand to go into th...
More About: Preview , Review , View

Funny Ads
2007-02-28 19:09:00
Google Ad's these days errr... actually contextual Google ads these days are really random. And hilarious. So hilarious, it gets me - a moderately depressed lonely guy - rolling on the floor, laughing out loud. I could have put it ROFLOL, but I like typing long sentences. I'm nerdy like that..Cap's advice to me on depression generated a couple of really hilarious ads. Well, it was hilarious to me atleast. Contextual ads do have a purpose... to entertain and make people roll on the floor and laugh their ass off. But not for generating $$$, as I found out the hard way . Perhaps Google should rethink their product name... Google AdNonSense seems like a good idea .Technorati tags: Contextual Ads, Contextual Advertising, Google, AdSense, Funny , Humor, Hilarious, Humour, ROFL, LOL, Pic, Personal

20 Reasons I Want to be a Dog
2007-02-24 19:22:00
1. I could pee anywhere I want to, and no one would complain.2. No one would complain if I grow/don't shave off hair in "unusual" places.3. I could wake up and go to sleep anytime I want4. There would be no stupid rules in "dating games", like "oooh, you gotta be handsome and wear tight leather pants and have a 15 inch schlong to get laid". Even a pug is considered cute.5. I could fuck any random bitch (no pun intended) I want.6. I could eat whenever I please. I'd just have to wag my tail at my dumbass "master", make a puppy face and I've just got my meal!7. I don't have to take the pains to bath, someone will do that for me.8. I just do some stupid tricks in front of chicks, and I've got myself some hotties for fans.9. There are no everyday human worries. I'd get to lie around all day in my doghouse.10. I'd get to bite random people who I find stupid.11. I would have atleast one best friend if I were a dog.12. I could pant and drool over chicks as much as I want to and they ...
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Wisdom of the Slim - 2
2007-02-22 18:41:00
English teacher: "In English, a double negative forms a positive. But there is no language where a double positive can form a negative."Smartass Slim : "Yeah, right."Technorati tags: Smartass, English, Language, Humor, Humour, Funny, ROFL, LOL
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It's Been A While...
2007-02-22 17:40:00
...since I posted something. In fact, its been a while since I've been "normal". The irregular posting started about a month ago, and I've ever since been trying to figure out what the problem is. Self analysis is boring, and its something I can do without. I'd rather prefer a nagging girlfriend. But heck, I'm doing it anyway.Below is a little "checklist" I'm making to analyze the possible reasons:1. Bloggers block - Can't be. I have shitloads of material to post, some of them I can't because its not "news" anymore.2. Depression.3. Laziness - Hell yeah! I've always been lazy, more so recently because of the depression.4. Deprsssion.5. Lack of interest to post - No!6. Depression.7. Too much time spent on fixing and updating the template - I can't help it, I'm a perfectionist... almost .8. Depression.9. Overtime on achieving xHTML validity - That is a bitch, but I had about 350+ errors which I've narrowed it down to 10.10. Depression - I know I sound emo here, but fuck you!...

Cupid = Asshole
2007-02-14 17:57:00
Cupid is an asshole. After all, all he could hook me up with in the past were losers. The first one, a Dutch bitch (exactly a fucking year ago). Just when I thought I'd forgotten that episode of my wonderful pathetic life, the 14th of February shows up . Then Asshole hooked me up with an Indian whore (don't even ask) and more recently, the crush I had on hot chick turned out to be a dead end. She is the dumbest chick I've ever met! Dumber than the hot blonde chick with big boobs aka Pamela Anderson.Luckily for me though, there is a way to vent my anger. I could join these idiots and go around town beating couples to quench my jealousy. You see, I get pissed off when I see couples hugging and kissing and I'm left only with little Johnson to talk to . Those extremist assholes may be ashamed to admit it, but I'm not. Not at all. I'm jealous. And little Johnson is getting depressed being all alone. Maybe I should register at some personals site. Maybe I shouldn't, because the lo...
More About: Cupid , Hole

Randumb Ramblings
2007-02-12 16:32:00
Mariah Carey is me hero. She calls herself prude and poses for Playboy.I'm forming an exploratory committee to explore why I shouldn't be President. Anyone interested in joining the committee may contact me.Romano Prodi should just shut the fuck up and go back to Italy and handle his "tough coaliation Government" rather than kissing Indian politician ass.Bipolar is on the rise I think, one of my friends has just been declared bipolar, along with a few others I know.Pictures of Ashley Massaro turned me on, but helping my dad chase this wall climbing frog sonofbitch just now turned me off.I've gotten even more turned off now, I just recieved a spam comment on the "New Template!" post (Thank you Cap and Lizze ).Bad girls suck, good girls swallow.Dimension Zero is one of the most underrated bands.Operator logos piss me off. I don't like it covering up the boobies in my cellphone wallpapers.I have a dentist appointment tomorrow and I'm shit scared of dentists. I hope I don't bite t...
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American Tard
2007-02-07 17:43:00
Someone should start a show called American Tard and put all the idiots who audition in American Idol in the show. Sometimes these idiots try to be so funny, its not funny at all. And yes, unfortunately I watched American Idol for a second time. But what I saw in it was enough to make me never watch it again. Take a look at this retard...Ian Benardo. He's even got his name on his T-Shirt in case he gets lost in Wal-Mart. And he wants to be the next American Idol... great. He is a superstar, a singer and a dancer. He is also a pathological liar. He even calls the road kill he found "wealthy fur". He must be the resultant of a family that lied to him as a child too many times about talent. He says he has two therapists... wonder which one of them shoved him off to the other.His singing... I'm surprised Cowell, Paula and Randy haven't had a breakdown since they met him. "Gloria... Gloria...", what a faggot. We might probably see Paula drunk again on TV after that. And Oh. My. God. H...

Harry Potter Helpline
2007-02-06 18:39:00
For all those who laughed when I said Harry Potter sucked, here's a bit of news to prove myself right. Apparently, a retailer book store is opening up a "Harry Potter Helpline" for distressed fans. Hmm. That's gotta mean something. Something in the lines of "this series of books suck so much that it even makes stupid teenagers depressed".So, two characters are going to be "killed off" in the "final" installation of the book. I hope one of them is Potty pants himself. If he lives, we can be sure Rowling would attempt a "the real" final installation when she someday becomes a broke, single mother again after spending all that British Pounds on luxury and "charity". Harry Potter Helpline, getting depressed (distressed?) over lame fantasy characters... this is proof that there are more stupid people than me out there. All the media frenzy, all that hype... British media and the media in general keep finding ways to go beyond rock bottom. Did I mention this was a third page story in ou...

Party Rants
2007-02-04 17:25:00
Finally! I get to rant about the "party" I attended about four of days ago. It's a surprise I could hold it in for this long! Before I begin, this might seem a long post. But trust me, I've made it as humorous as possible. It's a good read (atleast I think so). So don't get all "oh man this is long" and read on. So with that said, let me get to the gory details.We (My dad and I) were to go there in a rental car. A boxy rental car, actually. One with uncomfortable leg space. Well, any car I get in has bad leg space, 'cause I'm an unusually tall guy. Add to that, a little heavy traffic. One that won't move an inch for half an hour. Enough to make my crotch all wrinkly and painful. You would imagine traffic can be fun, given that there are a few hotties around in the nearby vehicles. That's a negative as well. I only find in front of me, 20 teenagers packed into the back of a mini truck, five of them sitting on the edge. And it's very difficult to look around for chicks, with...
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New Template!
2007-02-03 05:19:00
Hope its not an eyesore. Well, atleast not too much. It's probably not complete yet, or maybe it is. I'm not sure. I'm too sleepy right now, I just want to go straight to bed. I've been working overtime on this, and it hasn't turned out 100% the way I wanted it. Send me your feedback, suggestions, cookies and whatever else you want to that might help me better this template. If you notice any errors/bugs, please notify me. Temp late fixes, the party rant I was talking about in my last post, more posts and much more coming up later. Right now, I'm off to slumber land.Technorati tags: Personal, Blog, Blogging, Template, New, Sleepy, Tired, Coding, CSS

Wisdom of The Slim
2007-01-31 19:07:00
I've been wanting to introduce this little section for a long time, but a few things came up, I kept chasing even more lost time than ever and eventually had to take a little break. But now that things are beginning to look normal, I guess I can officially declare this little section open. But before I get to that, I have a few rants. Today, me and my dad got invited to a party, and Oh. My. God. Did it get me cranky or what?Oh wait... I guess I can't rant about the party until tomorrow... its getting late. And moreover, the party has made me really sleepy . So, a quick intro to Wisdom of The Slim and I'm off for the day. It's a new thing/category/topic, where I post witty (read: stupid) one liners, two liners, three liners, x liners, some of them coined by.... who else? The one and only, Yours Truly . These one liners would be thought provoking, funny, boring or just plain stupid. It depends on my mood.I decided to include this section as an excuse when I'm too lazy to post lo...

Bikini = Porn in India
2007-01-28 18:32:00
Our politicians have a unique way of interpreting things. See, there was this channel called AXN, which was my only source to some hot bikini clad women on TV. Now I've been deprived of that, thanks to our politician friends in the parliament. I learnt that the channel had been banned, but I wasn't too concerned because I thought it would be just another farce, like the (in)famous Blogger ban last July. But I started getting edgy when the channel never made a comeback for three days.After some quick research, I found out the channel has been banned till March 15. Just for showing a few bikini clad chicks (sometimes transparent), and a program titled "Worlds Sexiest Commercials", the Government has slapped a ban for "indecent" shows. So there's the math. Bikini = Porn. I know you're laughing, but I'm not 'cause I'm the one that is deprived of my daily eye candy of internet chick watching, porno and TV. Now my babe watching will drop by 30% atleast, which is not a good thing fo...
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Goody Two Shoes
2007-01-28 06:45:00
It's a racists worst nightmare. One moment you're insulting someone (thinking you're) on your way to fame, and the next, you're made to kiss the ass of the entire masses of the race of the person you insulted. It happened to Kramer and now, Jade Goody of Big Brother fame wants to be "goody" two shoes. She's on her way to India, apparently to "apoligize to people", as Indiatimes' version of Times of India puts it. Obviously, she isn't on the Government's list of "official guest".Blair and the House of Commons probably had a role on this. They're already hit with Islamic problems, and the last thing they wanted was Goody running her mouth like that on National (international?) TV. I hope to find a video of Blair conversing with Goody about it. He would probably be all like, "Aye bitch! Do you realize what jeopardy you have caused on our relations wi.... nuclear deal.... buttsecks with Mushar...errr... world domination.... blah blah" with his funny little accent.Though, I won...
More About: Shoes

Reality TV Hits New Low
2007-01-25 17:50:00
Reality shows never thrilled me. In fact, it repels me like how fat and ugly chicks repel a horny-ass teenager on a prom night. Most reality shows are useless and baseless (you'd agree if you aren't one of those Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie and Simon Cowell worshippers). But the hyped up season 6 of American Idol, and the way Paula Abdul, one of the judges ended up drunk on Fox [video], I was intrigued to watch it. And that's when I realized reality shows had dropped to a new low.In the beginning of the show, there were a lot of awful singers auditioning. By "awful", I'm being polite. So you can imagine how bad they were (Actually, I hate any stereotype, Hilary Duff or Kelly Clarkson-like poppy, lovey-dovey song, but I'll just pretend I liked the other singers for now). At every opportunity available, Simon Cowell would insult the person auditioning. Not just their awful singing, also their looks, dress, hairdo etc. And I noticed a lot of developmentally challenged (read: fat, u...
More About: Reality , Hits , Ality

I'm Back!
2007-01-23 18:54:00
... and this must be sad news to a lot of people, because I'm going to start boring you all to death again! Ah, so anyway, this was a much needed break, especially with all the things that have been going on. Don't worry, I'm not going to put all the personal shit right here... I'm not going to start boring you all to death all that immediately .But during this "little" break, I missed a few things. I missed Lizze's and Cap's blog posts (I'm a regular reader, you know). Have a lot to catch up. And most importantly, I missed Cap's birthday (grrr). She turned 180 (don't look at me, go to her blog and see for yourself). I mean, what could be more fun than hanging out with an almost two centuries old person with a cat named TFC (the fucking cat), and watching them blow all the 180 candles on the birthday cake? (*pufff* *pant* *grunt*... I know, I'm evil )I missed all my online friends (Komal, Balla, Yogi, Jay. Oh, and how can I forget Elena, even though she probably had a bad ...
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Camels Are People Too
2007-01-03 17:37:00
Like I mentioned in one of my previous posts, we Indians take the definition of a word to a whole new level. 'Specially political terms. This time, secularism gets a whole new definition. Adding a simple prefix pseudo to it, Secularism in India is defined to perfection.First, the Madras high court made a good move by banning slaughter of camels in the name of religion by Muslims. "The interim injunction granted by the honourable court is that no animals (camels) should be slaughtered during Bakrid or for any religious purpose. The reason is that this will spread diseases like anthrax to the native cattle and also it brings some bacteria that will affect the humans"Then rather surprisingly, the next day, the ban was vacated! Reason: "There is no law in the state against the slaughter of animals. Besides, under sections 296 and 298 of the Chennai Corporation Act, the Corporation Commissioner could authorise the slaughter of animals even in places other than abattoirs."And no one both...
More About: People

To Be or Not to Be?
2006-12-31 17:56:00
No, this is not a Hamlet-like suicidal question. This is more in the tone of a lonely 19 year old guy from India, stuck between worlds and wondering if its worth still being a pessimist, or to turn into an optimist and expect some good stuff this new year. Optimist because the year is over, and I've survived some pretty nasty shit(s?) in life. But pessimism takes over at the thought of "what more shit would this new year bring along?"From being hung like a horse, to being chick-less, being stuck in a shit hole of a place, trying - in vain - at getting some traffic to this blog, and to other pretty serious things that I won't mention, its been a pretty rough and tough year. Atleast some people, like my good friend Elena, had a pretty good year. You'd think posts like that would make you jealous subconciously, and in turn would make you more determined to work harder and come out successfully, no matter what (bad) luck has in store for you. If only it were that easy.I think one of...

Category: Pics
2005-01-01 19:24:00
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Category: Politics
2005-01-01 19:17:00
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About
2005-01-01 19:10:00
The author:Hello, I'm Slim. I hate being called by my real name (it's Balu, if you're interested). I'm from India. I'm a computer nerd. I love hot chicks. Can't live without them. I'm a cricket fanatic, and half-arsed "cricket lovers" piss me off. I have no life. I spend almost 10+ hours on the 'Net everyday, apart from eating, sleeping, bathroom breaks, studying a bit and other usual stuff.I like to help people out as much as I can. I'm the "good guy", so I don't get the chicks. I'm a music freak, basically a metalhead. I don't have favorite bands, I listen to shitloads of bands (I'm more of a genre person). Hmm, what else remains? Oh yeah, I LOVE hot chicks, chicks, cute chicks, pretty chicks, beautiful chicks. And did I mention foxy chicks?[Profile]The blog:Random /ˈrændəm/ [ran-duhm]Proceeding, made, or occurring without definite aim, reason, or pattern.Dumb /dʌm/ [duhm]1. Lacking intelligence or good judgment; stupid; dull-witted.2. Lacking some usual proper...
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Category: Personal
2005-01-01 19:09:00
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Category: Cricket
2005-01-01 17:21:00
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