La Bella Noire's Ramblings

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Moving
2007-10-16 15:27:00
I am in the process of moving my blog to another program. As soon as things are straight over there, I'll give you the address so you can update your blogrolls. Blogger's too much for me right now.
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Everything I Needed, I Already Had
2007-10-15 14:52:00
D is still answering the loads of questions he got, so no answers today, LOL. Hope you all had a great weekend. Me and D spent the weekend with his (our) family, and it was just great. But getting to the point of calling his family my family hasn't been easy.I spent a good part of my childhood resenting my family. Not being mad at WHO they were, but resenting WHAT they weren't. Everyday, I'd cross the proverbial tracks and go to the "rich white people school" and I'd see mommies AND daddies dropping their progeny off at the door. Girls running into daddy's arms at the end of the day. Family pictures hung up in people's lockers that show three generations of family lineage. When I got back to my side of town, I saw the kids who looked like me running around with their throngs of cousins, having family reunions in the park, and aunts and uncles on every block in the hood.Me, and mine. That's all it was. My mom, my dad, my brother, me. By 1986 my father was certified fucked up a...
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Wednesday Whatever
2007-10-10 15:48:00
The stuff on my mind...-Along with the might-be cancer in my body, I found out that I have to have my left ovary taken out. It has six non-fibroid cysts on it. *sigh*. But I'll still be able to have children-Every day at this plantation feels miserable to me. I don't want to do this anymore. I love my industry, but this is putting a dark cloud over my soul. I can't stay here knowing that I don't have the autonomy to help my patients the way they need to be helped.-I picked out my dress, but now everyone has comments. Here it is:-I'm not knocked up. So that's not why I'm getting married. So stop asking, anon. Go the fukk back where you came from or at least get out of my comment box.-Bout time I commented on Mar.ion J.ones, right? Well...it's nothing I didn't expect. I knew she was lying from the jump. No one who is innocent denies accusations that hard. They just don't. Sorry to see her fall from grace, but avoid the compromising positions to begin with.-I'm tired of read...
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Ask D
2007-10-09 20:02:00
D is feeling left out of blogland, so he wants answer questions from yall (ok, he's not really feeling left out, I just volunteered him to play along)...so either email me or drop your question in the comment box. He'll post the answers on Thursday.

Holiday!
2007-10-08 15:34:00
It's a holiday, woo hoo. Day off, right? Nope. I'm on the plantation, working hard because I have stuff sitting on my desk from last week that I need to get caught up on. I've got plenty to ramble about, but massa is calling me. I'll try and post later on today, if not...have a good Monday and a good day off for most of you.
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Friday Flashback
2007-10-05 14:50:00
This week it's Bobby Brown, pre-crack, in all of his spandex biker shorts with suspenders glory: "Every Little Step"What are you getting into this weekend? I'll be going to see Common in concert and then back on the wedding dress grind with a few girlfriends. I know I'll be catching up on some zzz's too cuz I've been cheating myself in the sleep dept. as of late. Have a good weekend; stay fabulous and blessed!
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Grown Azz Boys
2007-10-03 15:25:00
This morning D drove me to work and we stopped for coffee. Outside of the D.unkin D.onuts were a bunch of high school aged kids, mostly boys, who were apparently waiting for the school bus. While we were walking back to the car, one of them shouted at me, "Cutie, I wanna hit that" and then another, "Bruh, ya girl got a fat ass". D was heated, but didn't even honor their shouts with a response and I just gave them the 'I'm old enough to be your mama, please act right' look.This kind of thing happens all too often, so I wasn't surprised in any way. What I'm put off by though is the fact that they've been taught that acting that way is acceptable male behavior. Some where along the line they've been taught that being rude and extra forward to a woman is the definition of manhood. Sadly, I expect that type of behavior from somegrown men in their 20s and maybe early 30s, but I'm not sure when it became universally acceptable or sexy even. I've been approached by men of (virtual...
More About: Boys , Grown

Pickin' Cotton
2007-10-02 15:39:00
I'm working like a field slave on the plantation today, so no post. I'll catch up with ya tomorrow!
More About: Cotton

I Am NOT a Cupcake
2007-10-01 15:28:00
D and I managed to have a really good weekend, we did date night twice and saw "The Kingdom" (If you like action, go see it. We loved it!!). We also saw the builders, and we're going over the plans for one townhouse now. I'm so excited to see us actually moving forward with this. *doing happy dance* Can't wait to flex my interior design muscles, lol.But while he did whatever it is men do on Saturday mornings, I busied myself with wedding gown shopping. Umm. Let me just say, I.hate.this.with.a.passion. I actually enjoy trying on dresses and crinolines and stuff, but I hate the salespeople that come along with it. See, I say all the time that I'm not a small girl...I've lost 60 lbs or so over the last 15 months, but still teetering between plus size and non-plus size. Anyhoo, the salespeople at every wedding store I've been to seem to think that because I'm a woman of some size that I want some big azz poofy, tulle-d to hell nightmare of a dress. You know, looking like some abs...

Friday Flashback
2007-09-28 15:17:00
Happy Friday (and payday for some people)! This week the flashback is En Vogue "Free Your Mind".This weekend I'll be wedding dress shopping yet again and we'll be going to visit a few places to check out their reception facilities. We also have a meeting with the new home builder to see about their townhouse plans. If we like what we see and if the model looks good, we might consider building with them since they're offering a discount for police, veterans, and healthcare employees--that means triple discount for us! I'll also be meeting with a teacher sista-sociate of mine to discuss the possibility of us joining forces to start a tutoring/mentoring operation for middle and highschool students with a financial education component for students and their parents. Then hopefully D and I will get to catch a movie. Busy weekend, but I'm glad to not be going to work, lol. Anyway, what are you all getting into this weekend? Whatever you do, be safe and have fun.
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I Miss You...
2007-09-27 15:14:00
Today would be my grandmother's 86th birthday. Nearly four years after her death I still miss her as much as I did the day I had to say goodbye for the last time. She passed away 3 years and 11 months to the day after my grandfather passed on; she just couldn't face another day without him. 53 years of marriage will make you like that.My mother's mom, she's responsible in large part for shaping me into the person that I am. She never held her tongue, she always let you know how she felt about you and you couldn't fault her for that. Her humor could make you laugh till you cry, but she knew when and how to switch it up and carry herself flawlessly. She wasn't rich, but had more class than most millionaires. The grace of a ballerina, the tough hide of an elephant. She lived in the hood, but could make the country club home just as easily.When my innocent little girl world got raped by the malfeasance and malintent of some grown people and became too much for me to handle, she le...
More About: Miss , Miss You , I Miss You

Can I take your order?
2007-09-26 14:58:00
Quick Rant:I need to take a minute and check my passport just to make sure that I'm an American in America. The United States of America that is. I just came back from McDonald's up the street from work to get a fruit/yogurt parfait and and orange juice, and I'm really kind of salty that I had to place my entire order in spanish. I knew things weren't going to be right when I pulled up to the drive-thru speakerbox to order and I heard, "Bienvenido a McDonald's". When I asked if she spoke english, she said, "No señora". Great. I didn't feel like going inside to order, and I didn't want to ask for a manager to ream them out for not having an english speaking person at the drive-thru. Not today, no time for that. So I ordered in spanish, with my Spanish III skills, and drove up. I got my food and managed to find out that the girl who took my order was just filling in for another girl while she was in the restroom, so it wasn't an issue.I'm not even about to go on the tirade ab...
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If you don't want the answer, don't ask the question
2007-09-25 15:23:00
I'm all about helping a sista out when she's down. I don't mind giving advice when I'm asked for it. What I don't like, however, when a person voluntarily puts themselves in a hurtful situation then asks for advice but won't take it, yet wants to pity party. Lemme explain...A co-worker of mine, who I've taken on as a "sista-sociate" has frustrated me to no end and at the same time has me feeling sorry for her and other women and girls who have this type of mindset. Backstory: she's older than me by about 5-6 years, and has this unending man problem. She has a problem with being alone, so she accepts whatever a man gives to her for the sake of having "someone". This man is significantly older than her with no kids. He lost his job as a corrections officer, which means he couldn't pay his rent, so this girl let him move in to her one bedroom apartment--mind you, they are not together. He got a piece of job working 3 days a week at night as a security guard--he rarely shows up...
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Back in business
2007-09-24 15:08:00
*waving* Hey yall!! Long time no write, but I figured I'd bring my rusty azz back to blogger cuz frankly, I missed it more than I thought.Anyway, sentiment aside, I've been going through some stuff these last few weeks. I stepped away from the blogging after some comments and emails that I got that basically amounted to little more than hatin', but frustrated me nonehtheless. I enjoy writing about my life, but it's amazing how concerned and involved people will try to make themselves even when they don't have any invitation to do so. Asking when my wedding is--fine. Asking how big my dude's dick is--not fine. Telling me that you want to make sure that I'm being treated well before making such a huge decision to be married--fine. Telling me that I'm going to hell because I'm sexually active *monogamously*--not fine. See what I'm getting at?And then outside of the stupid comments, because stuff like that won't keep me from writing, I'm going through it it other ways also. ...
More About: Business , Back , Sine

Blah Blah Blogger
2007-09-06 16:24:00
I just don't have it in me to blog right now.I don't know if it's permanent or just a few days. But I'm on hiatus for the moment. More than likely it's a temporary thing...just a few days, but we'll see. I'll be around reading your stuff...keep me entertained :-)Stay blessed!
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Tuesday's Monday
2007-09-04 15:27:00
Hope everyone had a good Labor Day off. I didn't do much over the weekend, just chilled in, hung out with the girls on Sunday evening. On Sunday night, I rode along with D during his overnight shift, so I got to be an honorary officer for the night, lol. It was a pretty slow night, but he did have to respond to a sexual assault case which was soooo sad. I won't get into it just out of respect for the girl's privacy, but it was heart wrenching. It was fun to see police work up close and personal so to speak. It did remind me of how much I wanted to be a paramedic growing up, so today I'll be filling out the paper work to finish my EMT certification (started but never finished back in NY) and hopefully apply for a position with the county fire and rescue. That's one of those life dreams from so long ago that I was too scared to attempt. My mom always encouraged me, but I found so many excuses--all because I was scared that I may actually succeed and be good at it. Now's my chanc...
More About: Monday , Onda

Somebody's Watchin' Me
2007-08-30 15:28:00
I don't know if it's a result of the full moon this week, or if I suddenly look completely different but over the last week or so I've been being watched/stalked/accosted/whatever you wanna call it by a bunch of foreign men. I don't normally care since I've been approached by non-American men many times in the past, and they've always been really cool. Had a few good dates and what not, so this is not a case of xenophobia. But something this week is just different and these men are breaching all kinds of American "holla at a girl" customs and I'm left scratching my head in bewilderment.I think it's time for me to boycott the gas station that I usually go to near my home. I usually stop in there on my way to the gym to pick up a bottle of water, and I'm there twice a week to fill up my gas tank--a 60 mile round trip commute makes the twice a week fill up necessary. So since I'm in there for some reason or another at least 4 times a week, I guess I'm considered one of the r...
More About: Some

Whateva Wednesday
2007-08-29 15:08:00
It is Wednesday , right? Just checkin, cuz I woke up all screwed up this morning. Walked right into the wall after I got out the bed, got the heel of my sandal caught in the hem of my skirt which sent me flying face first onto the kitchen floor. Yeah, whateva. But anyhoo, more stuff that's been on my mind about stuff...just stuff...whateva.~I'm mad that more people aren't talking about the Jena Six, and even more angry that people are spending more time pontificating about friggin Mike Vic.k than these six boys' legal problems.~I listen to the St.eve Har.vey Morning Show on the way to work, and they read letters from listeners and give advice. I'm so disappointed that women still write in asking if they should give their "man" another chance after he's dogged them out. Of course it's because she stilll looooovvvees him. Since when does love equal being dogged out and giving infinite chances? That makes me ill every time I hear stuff like that. Oh he cheated and had a child out...

Tagged!
2007-08-28 15:43:00
I been tagged by a bunch of folk, so here goes:THE RULES: Elaborate on the (bold) words below? Accent ? Combo of a Bronx and Upstate NY accent. Some people say I sound like a white girl with a lil bit of soul, lol. When I get around my Jamaican family, you can tell I gots that island blood in me though.I Don?t Drink ? orange juice with pulp. Just no.Chore I Hate ? cleaning the bathroom, even though I love the end result.Pets ? Does D count?? Seriously though, my chocolate lab pup.Essential Electronic ? I need my computer and internet.Perfume/Cologne ? Donna Karan Cashmere Mist. I usually buy 3 big bottles at a time. Gold or silver ? Silver. D knew better than to come with anything other than silver or white gold. I will wear gold around Christmastime though--family tradition.Insomnia ? I used to suffer with it, but now I sleep like a brick and can fall asleep any.damn.where except behind the wheel Job Title ? Reimbursement Analyst, and my boss is better known as MassaMost Admired Tr...
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Weekend Recap
2007-08-27 15:43:00
Happy Monday! I spent most of the weekend chilling and enjoying the weather. On Friday evening, D and I went to dinner with a former co-worker of mine from back home. She was in town on vacation with her kids and looking for jobs since she hopes to move down here soon. The dinner was nice, but her kids are something else! Her daughters are 14 and 16, and they have some mouth on them. They were cussing more than the rest of us, and the older daughter was going on about how she tried birth control but it didn't work. Based on the look from her mama's face she may as well have inserted foot in mouth. She tried to cover her tracks by saying "oh, I kept forgetting to take the pill, that's what I mean". I could tell that was some kinda lie. I'm sure her mama was all in her face about that after we had dinner and went our ways.Saturday I handled a few outstanding errands, then took some 'me' time and went to the library and took out a bunch of books. I brought them home and spent the...
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Fill in the blanks
2007-08-23 15:23:00
I jacked this from Ms. Behavin...1. I love... my life, my family, my friends, my D, and most important God. 2. Right now I want... to yank the nassssty lookin weave out of my co-worker's hair3. I feel like... I want to go shopping.4. I hate it when... my mother cries. I've only seen it happen 3 times that I can remember, and each time it tore me up.5. I fear... dying and everyone's too busy to notice or care.6. I'm lonely without... music. I don't mind being physically alone as long as I can listen to some good music.7. I need... to find a job that's better able to engage my mind. Or better yet, quit and start my own business.8. Today I... will probably go look at bridesmaids dresses after work with L.9. Tomorrow I'm... not going to have to sleep alone. I hate police officers' overnight schedules!10. I just... paid my cell phone bill.11. I want to meet... Nelson Mandela.12. I'm hungry for... grapes.13. I love it when... D plays with my hair.14. I'm afraid of... large crowd...
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Dem Days
2007-08-22 15:09:00
I woke up feeling froggy this morning. Came to work wearing glasses instead of contacts--I usually only wear glasses at home or in chill mode. Dressed just regla'. Yeah, one of dem days. Not in a bad mood, not really in a great mood. Just ehh. It's raining and gray. All of that. I prolly should have stayed in bed this morning.Actually, I know I should have. Cuz this morning, I really didn't care what came out of my mouth. You know, cuz I'm feeling kinda ehh. So what did my bright self go and do? When my boss came around to say 'good morning, how are you?' to everyone on the team, I kinda told her about herself and this team that we have.Me: "I'm fine, but this team is a different story. There is so much catfighting and infighting going on that we've lost sight of the actual goal. Bitches (YUP, that shit slipped out my mouth!!) acting like they're supervisors when we all have the same damn title--Analyst. Not Jr., not Sr., sho' nuff not Executive. Nope. Just Analyst. That'...
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I Do NOT Apologize For My Happiness
2007-08-20 18:47:00
I talk about D a lot because he makes me happy and I love what we've created together and I'm looking forward to whatever comes our way--good or bad. My life is good all around, even though I have a job that I sometimes can't stand. I'm blessed in every aspect of my life, from my manicure down to my pedicure and everything internally and externally. My world is beautiful even when the sky is gray, even when I'm going through it and want the tears to go away. I'm happy. Period. And for that, I do NOT apologize. I don't care if my happiness appears saccharine to you, I don't care if you think I'm bragging. Hmmmm and while I'm on bragging...why is it bragging if I talk about something good, but if it's something sad or not great, I'm bearing my soul? Dammit, souls have good sides too.All the things I've been through in my life don't entitle me to happiness, they only enhance it because I can appreciate happiness more because I know firsthand what it's like to live in mi...
More About: Happiness , Apologize , Polo , Logi

Friday Flashback
2007-08-17 15:46:00
It's Friday and Payday! YAY!! I'm trying to figure out what happened to these boys. It's Another Bad Creation's "Iesha":What are you up to this weekend? My parents are coming to visit, so I'll be chilling with them. It'll be the first time my step dad has seen me and D's place, so I'm kind of excited or something like that. Whatever you do, have fun and be blessed!
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A La Bella Noire PSA
2007-08-17 15:05:00
On 1969's blog yesterday, she had a PSA about anonymous comments (I'm too lazy to link the post, so visit her from my side bar). I also want to add to that. When you leave frequent anonymous comments on someone's blog haranguing and harassing and insulting them on one topic (I mean like 8-9 comments in a day type mess), it is considered harassment, which is a crime--usually a misdemeanor, but in some places a felony. If done across state lines, then it can become a federal matter. You can try to hide your IP address, but it will come to the light because your blog software's records can be subpoenaed.I'm telling you all this because I had to deal with it myself. I know some of yall saw some of "anonymous"'s comments a few posts back insulting myself and my D, but there were more posts from that person that I deleted. Some of you said that it may be a case of the ex, and you were partially right. Without getting into too much detail, I had to notify the county police where I li...
More About: Bella , Noire

Just Stuff...
2007-08-16 15:56:00
Awww hell... The randoms again-Why when a woman is going through some things on the romantic side and is trying to figure out her place is she a victim and needs love and support, but when a man goes through the same things he's a dog and gets talked about like a piece of shit?-If you have suspicions that the person you are dating is being less than honest, confront them. Don't try to turn into super-sleuth and go digging behind them for months. And don't let the problem fester for months. It wont get solved either way, and when/if you catch the person doing their dirt, you both look stupid because you were just as bad for spying and snooping. Especially if you know the relationship isn't headed for marriage or is just a fling...leave it alone. You'll end up less bitter in the end.-If someone decides that they don't want to date you, that doesn't mean you're a bad person. And it gives you no reason to leave f**ked up comments on their blog because you're mad-I need coffee-I...
More About: Stuff

Blogger Block
2007-08-15 15:42:00
I've got blogger block today. Every post I start doesn't look right, so I have a bunch saved in drafts for another day. I'm still on vacation (my couch is almost as good as the beach, lol) so I think my brain is on chill mode too. I'll be trolling around your stuff today, so leave me something good to read. I'm back to work tomorrow, so I'm sure I'll be back in the swing of things then. Enjoy your day yall!
More About: Blogger , Block , Lock

Home again....
2007-08-13 17:40:00
I'm playing hooky from work today. Sad, but I need a mental health day and it's only Monday, LOL. Guess I'll check out what all of you are writing about today. Be blessed!
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Friday Flashback
2007-08-10 15:38:00
Something a little different...it's Sade, "The Sweetest Taboo". She's always been one of my favorites:Happy Friday !!
More About: Flashback , Lash

Adventures in Customer Service
2007-08-09 14:34:00
Ugggh, I'm already not a fan of calling customer service for ANYTHING, but Com.c.ast makes me ill. Granted cable is not a necessary utility, but whatever. It's NFL Preseason and I need my NFL network. Something is wrong with our box, so only about half of the channels that we're supposed to have show up. We just got new service installed over the weekend, so naturally I'm pissed. Of course, it was my job to call the people to rectify the situation...Customer Service Rep (CSR): Cable company. How can I help you?Me: I'm calling because over half of our channels aren't coming in.CSR: What do you mean aren't coming in? Me: Ummmm...when you turn to a channel, there is no picture and a message saying to call and order that channel. But these channels are part of the package we ordered.CSR: Well Is your bill up to date?Me: The service is brand new and was just installed on Saturday. So it can't be past due. Shouldn't you have that information in front of you? I entered the account...
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