La Bella Noire's Ramblings

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It takes a village
2007-08-08 15:30:00
Last night while D was arguing with someone who left some ignant azz comments on my blog, I was IMing one of my nieces. She's 18, just graduated from high school and will be taking some classes at the community college in the fall while she decides what path she wants to take.She's a great girl with a good head on her shoulders, but at the doing of her mother, she's very naive about the ways of the world. Her mother (my step sister) has refused to allow her to watch movies where there may be sex and the mention thereof. She also refused to allow her to participate in sex ed in school and won't discuss the subject with her kids (she also has a 16 year old boy and a 15 year old girl). If a movie is on at my house or wherever they may be, she will cover their eyes if there is kissing or anything remotely gratuitous or salacious. That's always been a point of contention between my step-sister and I. She's even asked that D and I refrain from hugging or sharing a quick kiss here an...
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The Comment Box
2007-08-08 01:50:00
The comment box is out of control lately with all the crazy azz comments. Not just on my blog but on a number of others' as well. *Ding Ding Ding* Everybody back to your corners. That is all.
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In the Upper Rooooom
2007-08-07 16:11:00
Dear Sweet Elderly Church Lady,Thanks so much for stopping me as I was walking into the grocery store yesterday to examine my religious beliefs. It's so nice of you to look after my soul. But let me break a few things down to you. I wasn't doing the Holy Ghost dance as you were reading scriptures to me. That was the Pee Pee dance. I was trying to run into the store to the restroom and then do my shopping. That's why I was crying. Well, that and your perfume was choking me to death. I'm not sure if your olfactory sense has been damaged, but when it's 95+ degrees outside with a humidity/heat index of 100+, it's not a smart idea to douse yourself in potpourri scented eau de parfum. The heat intensifies the smell. Maybe that's your plan, to allow your way-flowery smell to rangle people into submission? It's not nice to tell perfect strangers that they're going to Hell in a handbasket. I'm pretty sure that your religion dictates that you not do that. I know I do some things tha...
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Monday Randoms...
2007-08-06 15:23:00
The random rant-type ish on my mind this morning....-I have a foul mouth today, my apologies in advance.-It's about to be on like Donkey Kong in this office plantation place today. This girl who rubs me ALL kinds of wrong is back from maternity leave today. Who the f**k only takes 2 weeks because they LOVE their job (which they swear up and down they're over qualified for)?? And they moved her seat right over next to my cubicle. My co workers know that I will walk out this bitch if she says something wrong to me. Her and I, as well as her and several other co-workers have had som nasty run ins. Jesus, take the wheel.-Why does my "big boss" insist upon calling me Tashie? I hate that shyt and I've already corrected her a bunch of times. Tashie? Seriously, WTF is a Tashie?? That sounds like a Poke.m.on character. Tashie and Pika-damn-chu. Cute, right? I'm a grown azz woman, don't call me something you'd call your 4 year old child.-The weekend is two days long. Every week. Saturda...
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Friday Flashback
2007-08-03 15:18:00
This has alwasy been one of my favorites. It's "Rebirth of Slick (cool like dat)" by Digable Planets. I get sooo mad when Michael Baisden effs it up on his radio show, lol. Happy Friday !!!
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Prayerfully...
2007-08-02 15:49:00
No post today. Instead, just a reminder to say a prayer for the people affected by the Minneapolis bridge collapse yesterday. Also, if you can, please donate to the American Red Cross to help the victims and their families. Ray, my friend in Minneapolis (he is okay thankfully) has instructions on how to do so.
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Ask Me
2007-08-01 14:59:00
Over the last few weeks, I've been getting a lot of emails from people asking me for advice and/or my opinion on a subject. Great. I'm not 'Dear Abby', so I'm sure my advice is kinda crazy at times, but I do my best to answer unbiased and honestly. I got permission from a few people to post their questions and my answers, so here goes..."Dear Tasha,Maybe you can help me here. I'm inspired by the love you and D have for each other, and I'm trying to find a good guy to settle down and build a life with as well, but am not having much luck. I'm a 26 year old African-American female with no children. I work out regularly, dress nicely, wear nice makeup and perfumes, keep my hair up, and just always look put together. I also am VERY independent, educated, and have a good job that pays well. Why do you think I'm batting zero? -K.R."Hi K.R., thanks for the kind words about D and myself. I'm glad you're inspired by us, but please don't try to be us--what works for us might not w...

Why??? Vol. 1
2007-07-31 16:10:00
WHY?I go to the gym at least 4 times a week, and every evening that I'm there I see the same chick doing the same stupid mess. She goes into the locker room and puts on a FULL face of makeup--I'm talking pancake foundation and all. She then proceeds to spend about 45 minutes on the elliptical machine, heads to do some weight training, then onto the treadmill or bike. She sweats like a man, so by the time she's done, her face looks like a Picasso painting with all the color smeared everywhere. She also douses herself in Bur.ber.ry Brit perfume before she begins her workout, and her "scent" wafts all over the gym. A few times she put entirely too much on and I had to end my workout early because the smell gave me a headache.WHY?Call me spoiled or whatever, but I get my nails done every two weeks and get a pedicure once a month. All year, not just in the summer time. The last 3 times that I've been in for a pedicure, this woman has been there with her son who appears to be about 4 ...

Victimize Me
2007-07-30 15:03:00
This weekend, D and I went out with a few of our friends and ended up having an interesting conversation. One of the couples we were out with were talking about a lady they know who is a single mother raising 5 kids on her own, none of whom have the same father mind you, and she is struggling, so they feel sorry for her and want to help her by buying the kids' school supplies. We definitely know their hearts were in the right place, because lawd knows it's hard out there for a single mama--I was raised by one, so I do know first hand.But D and one of the other girls (who is a 4th grade teacher) both brought up the same valid point. They wondered why when a woman sleeps around without children, she's a ho' but then if she does the same and has kids by a bunch of men, she's a victim because she's a single mom. In all honesty, I have to wonder the same thing.I've seen it happen more often than I'm really comfortable with. I'm using one woman in particular to illustrate my poin...
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Sunday Scripture
2007-07-29 17:29:00
"Curds and honey he shall eat that ye may know to refuse the evil and choose the good"Isaiah 7:15Remember to praise Him always through the good and the bad.
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Friday Flashback
2007-07-27 14:50:00
Do you ever sometimes wonder what happened to your favorite singers? I got to wondering about this group a while back and why they never did another upbeat song. Anyway, it's Boyz II Men, "Motownphilly"Happy Frida y !!
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Adjectives do not make the man
2007-07-26 15:00:00
Thanks everyone for all the kind words over the last few days. I'm thankful for each and every one of you and your comments. They've really meant so much. I'm feeling better now, and am getting out of my funk one day at a time, stronger every day.I have to say though, a lot of you mention that D is a good dude, and I couldn't agree more. But that got me thinking about this whole good dude concept. There's been a lot of "talk" around the blogosphere lately about good dudes and the lack thereof and it's really got me irritated.I'll probably get blasted for my opinions, but whatever. It is my damn blog after all. Anyway. More often than not, when I ask women what constitutes a "good man", they launch into a litany of adjectives something akin to this:"He's got to be:talldark-skinnedlight-skinnedhandsomec ollege-educatedmuscularwell-hungfinancial ly well-offwell-dressedand so on and so on, etcThat's great, but where are the personality traits? What about how he treats you and how...
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Sigh
2007-07-23 15:13:00
My soul hurts today. I've been crying since Saturday and I've just finally been able to get myself together enough to go to work. I, like most people, have always dealt with the little voices of doubt and negativity in my head. But this weekend those voices became deafening, and their volume shattered the glass eggshell that covers my soul.For basically my whole life, I've faced and triumphed over a lot of adversity. I never really let myself process a lot of those things, I just stuffed the memory down and kept it moving. But in so doing, the little negative voices moved in. When I was busy in my life, like when I was in school full time and working full time and dancing 6 days a week and still in competitions, I could basically block them out. But when things were calm and less busy, blocking them was not as easy. Somehow I managed to not be knocked down completely and thrown into a life-long chronic depression because of all of that, but I was lucky.Right now, my life isn't a...
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Friday Flashback
2007-07-20 06:03:00
Yall know about my undying love for old school Michael Jackson, right? Well, if you didn't, you do now. So here's one of my favorites, just because I can. It's "Don't Stop Till You Get Enough".Happy Frida y !
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I Been Taggededed
2007-07-20 05:24:00
Ms. BkDiva tagged me. It was harder than I expected to think of 8 random azz things about myself, so umm... here goes I guess:Rules-1. We have to post these rules before we give you the facts.2. Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.3. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.5. Don?t forget to leave them a comment telling them they?re tagged, and to read your blog.Just The Facts, Ma'am~1. When I eat sandwiches, I rip them into little pieces and then eat the pieces. I can't just bite into it. This goes for hamburgers too. The only time I eat a sandwich normally is if it's a sub.2. I am deathly afraid of sheep. When I moved in with D, the route I was taking to work had me passing a sheep farm. I had to change that QUICKLY.3. It's hard to make me angry, but if you do and you see a tear come out of my eye, go ...
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Day Off
2007-07-18 16:14:00
I'm taking a blogger day off today. Have a good one!

Bridesmaid Blues
2007-07-17 17:28:00
Some people like drama too damn much, so when there isn't any to be found they go and create some. Even at their friends' expense.I've been engaged for less than a month now, and already people are trying to turn this wedding into some kind of Bridezilla blowup. We haven't set a date for our jaunt down the aisle just yet, let alone ask people to be in the wedding. All we know is that we want a small-ish event since we'll be footing the bill ourselves, and because we're both really low-key people. Before the "Yes, I'll marry you" was completely out of my mouth, the phone was ringing and our email inboxes were full. Somebody please tell me how it's okay to email someone and ask that you allow them to be your maid of honor or best man. I've gotten 5 different requests from people that all begin something like this:"...Tasha, congratulations on getting engaged. I can't wait to see you two as an old married couple. I forgot your fiancé's name, I'll have to look at fac.e.bo.ok...
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Customer No Service
2007-07-16 13:05:00
When you go into a fast food restaurant, you don't expect the same level of service that you'd get if you went into a five star place, but you do expect to be treated with some decent level of respect at least.D and I went to a Pop.ey.es on Saturday and we were both appalled at what happened there. When we walked in the door, the employees were arguing amongst each other, and continued to do so even after they saw us. The girl who served us was like, "Whatchu want?...Bitch, you better stop talking to me like that or I'mma have to step back and smack the shit out of you". No kind of apology to us for acting like that. We ordered our food and she went back to get the order, still cussin and fussin to her co-worker. She was sliding all over the greasy-azz floor acting like home training was a foreign concept to her. While we were waiting for our order, another employee who appeared to be on break came up to the counter talking on her cell phone. We heard part of her conversation and...
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Friday Flashback
2007-07-13 14:50:00
I was talking to my mom last night and she had this playing in the house, and now I can't get it out of my head. Maybe it'll get stuck in your head too :-) It's Prince & The Revolution "When Doves Cry".Happy Frida y (and happy pay day, lol)! Have a great weekend!!
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Prioritize Your Priorities
2007-07-12 15:51:00
When I got home from work last night, I saw one of my neighbors washing his car. That's a weekly occurence, so I didn't think anything of it. But when I got closer, I saw that he was washing a brand new Benz. I was kind of shocked, seeing as his old car was a perfectly good 2001 or 2002 Pathfinder. I asked him what happened to his old car, and he said he just wanted an upgrade. He politely informed me that the new car cost $48,000 and that he's getting new rims and tints on Saturday.I'm all for upgrading yourself and your situation, but what bugs me is that we live in an apartment complex and most of us there are either young professional single people or young families. Solidly middle class. This is not a luxury condo village, but rather an average apartment complex with average people. His car doesn't really fit in. But more than that, I'm mad cuz I know he doesn't work and is living in his apartment damn near rent free because he's on Section 8 and got in just before the ...

Open Letter to My Co-Workers
2007-07-11 15:36:00
Dear Co-Worker s ,It's been very nerve-racking interesting working with you all. Most of you are really great people and seem like you're on a good career and personal path. Much respect to you. However, some of you act like you don't know your own ass from a hole in the wall. Please, take what I'm going to say and consider it carefully because I'm not the only one thinking these things, I'm just the only one to call you out. Trust me, this is done with the best of intentions.Ms. Too Cute, you need to revamp your approach to everything. No one gives a good gotdamn that you're lightskinned. Half black and half Puerto Rican. Good for you. I'm glad you are self confident, but you don't need to rip other people apart to boost your own self esteem. To be quite honest, you're really not that cute. Men only talk to you because your ass is wider than your body and you force it into clothing that's unnecessarily tight. Doing so causes your posterior to look like a painfully bloated ...
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Public Service Announcement
2007-07-10 15:02:00
The following is a public service announcement. It may or may not apply to you.Disciplining your children is the right thing to do. I don't care what method of discipline you use (just don't beat up on the kids please), but make sure it is effective and you do it consistently.Some of your children may as well have been extras in "The Children of the Corn". Does the name Damien mean anything to you? Yes, your children. Your adorable little progeny can make Satan himself say "damn, you got some bad azz kids".There was no need for little Billy to be rummaging around in my shopping cart at the grocery store yesterday. When I asked him to stop, he looked at me like I was a mosquito annoying him. He's too young to be able to give that look to people. Then he had the nerve to take MY stuff out of MY cart and put it on the floor. I got rude then, and he just looked at me like "ok, aaannndd?". That's not cute, people. His azz needs some kind of discipline. When I was that age, my mother ...
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The Homefront
2007-07-09 14:43:00
D and I didn't get back from NY until 11 last night, so him and I both were looking like creatures from the undead this morning. We had a better time than expected, but we're glad to be back. It is always nice to go home though. On the way up there, we narrowly avoided getting run off the road by a drunk driver. We were in Delaware on 95-N, when some drunk fool came over into our lane without looking to see if there were cars over there. If it weren't for the space near the guardrail, we would have been smashed into oblivion. We knew he was drunk because we saw the empty bud cans in his backseat once we were able to regroup and get past him. We called the state police and gave the tag #, but that was really the best we could do.We got to my mom's around 3AM and hit the bed hard. This isn't the first time he's been home home with me, but we still laughed about the two of us sleeping in my childhood bedroom. The next morning, he came with me while I got my hair re-braided. He ma...

Fake the Funk Friday
2007-07-06 14:48:00
It's Frida y , and I'll be at work fakin the funk pretending to be working like a field slave. As soon as I get out of work, D and I are on the road. I'm dragging him to NY to see my mom and to get my braids re-done. I'd get them done in DC, but the only recommendation people give is "The Africans on Georgia Ave". There are 900 different braid places on this one road alone, I need more specifics like maybe the address or how bout a phone number!? But I digress.It'll be nice to go home for a little while and see some of my people that I haven't seen since Christmas and maybe hit up a cookout or two. The weather today seems great for travelling and BBQ, so I dug up DJ Jazzy Jeff and The Fresh Prince/Will Smith's "Summertime":Happy Friday, have a great weekend!
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Can't Get Right
2007-07-05 15:37:00
I was glad to have yesterday off, but having a holiday tossed in the middle of the week like that kinda threw me off. I'm running all backwards today and just can't seem to get right at all. I woke up this morning and getting out of bed I managed to trip over my own feet and land face first on the floor. Thank God I wasn't wearing my glasses at the time. Then, off to the shower and I manage to trip stepping in the tub and busted my ass "Honey I've fallen and I can't get up" style. My apologies to the dog. I'm sorry for landing on you.I managed to make it to the car without much incident, but the car had other plans for me. Me, being who I am, of course set the panic alarm off on the car and had too much stuff in my hands to be able to turn it off quickly. Now, I leave before most of the other people in the complex so of course I saw people looking out their windows at me like I'm a criminal or something. Finally I got the damn thing to shut up and got in the car. Like a fool,...

Happy July 4th!!
2007-07-04 23:27:00
It's thunderstorming and raining buckets in my neck of the woods, so I'm pretty sure that the fireworks are off for tonight, but I'm still going to cookout and throw a few back with my people. I'll be on grill duty for a while, but then it's time to chill, lol.Hope you all have a safe and happy 4th! If you're in the Bmore or DC area, it's probably raining so if you're going to the fireworks, bring an umbrella.
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Please Warn Me...
2007-07-03 06:33:00
...if you have a nasty azz house.I spent a good percentage of my younger days in the hood, so I'm no stranger to roaches and what not (NO, they were not in my house). But damn, just because I have experienced it in my past life, doesn't mean you can just sneak that on me. You still need to let somebody know before they come into your home that you have roaches so big they pay rent. Seriously.I dropped my girl off at her place, which she just moved into with her man. She invited me in for a drink, and I made that bad move and assumed that her house was of reasonable cleanliness. I guess I just figured if you invite someone in, that things must be okay inside. Ummm, no. Hell no. Hell to the nawl even.I walked in the door and it looked like Hurricane What the Fuck and Tropical Depression Holy Shit had just rolled through there. Clothes and shoes everywhere. I saw a plate of something that kind of resembled the remnants of greens and chicken on the arm of the sofa. There was a slight...
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Weekend Wrap Up
2007-07-02 15:16:00
I'm so offended that it's Monday again and I'm back in the corprate cubicle trying to look and be important, when I could be outside enjoying what was supposed to be my vacation. Damned senior level employees snatched up all the good vacation days, hmph. I want to go back to my weekend. BOOOOO. Ok, I'm done whining now.My weekend was nice, and the weather was soooo beautiful. D and I actually got to spend the whole weekend together for once. I absolutely hate his schedule!! But I guess that's the life of a cop. BOOOO. Damn, I need to work on sounding more grateful. Anyhoo, we went to dinner and he kept saying, "Do you know what tomorrow is?". I was ready to stomp my feet like a two year old and tell him to 'Gimme my ring!!'. But I just played along.Saturday we went to a cookout a few of my friends were having and had some less than yummy grilled food. I mean, how do you tell the hostess that you don't want anymore food because the burgers taste like sautéed tractor tires? He...
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Friday Foolishness
2007-06-29 15:03:00
Do people give a thought to what kind of car they have when they're buying rims? 22 inch rims in steel grey don't look right on a seafoam green Corolla. There is a place up the street from our place that allows you to rent to own your rims, and it is always packed in there. It's a damn shame when there's a Rent-A-Center version of Pimp My Ride. Ladies, make sure your man is up to date with his payments, you wouldn't want to be out with him and he gets his rims reposessed.What happened in LL Cool J's life that he went from "Rock the Bells" and "Around the Way Girl" to being a wanna be fitness guru?Is the state of the black man really that jacked up? I've had 3 different people ask me if D is black because they've never heard of a black man actually wanting to get married.Some women need to realize that just because it's made in their size doesn't mean they should wear it. Not every outfit flatters every body shape. Especially when your body is shaped like Swamp Thing.I'm r...
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Escalator to Hell
2007-06-28 15:52:00
I've just been informed that I'm on an express escalator to Hell . I guess I'll stop and get some cute red shoes along the way--gotta match the devil you know. *sigh*, the sarcasm.I, like most other people, have the set of "that" family. The ones people don't really mess with because they're all certifiably crazy and that you can't really bring to many social functions because you know they'll embarass themselves and you.My great aunt, she is one of them. My mom called and told her about the engagement (or pending engagement, however you want to look at it) and she was none too pleased about the news. Auntie Sharlese, who is close to elderly but far far from senile called me last night to vent her feelings about it.Auntie: "Child. Child. Child. You know you gon' go to see Satan cuz this, right?"Me: "Why Auntie?"Auntie: "You aint posed to let no man axe you to marry him like that."Me: "Why? I thought that was tradition."Auntie: "A woman don't lay back and wait for no man to a...
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