Be KittyBe KittyEntertainment, Politics, and the world as seen through the gay eyes of B. Kitty 
Articles
One Little Indian - Sanjaya Gets Voted Off Idol
2007-04-19 03:36:00 Ya'll should be listening to a Kitty's gay ass!This Kitty predicted yesterday that Sanjaya was going home tonight - and he was right.Howard Stern and Vote for the Worst ... fuck you :) A Kitty means that in the nicest way, of course.Now Sanjaya...c'mon over here and rest your cute lil Indian head on this Kitty's chest...he'll take real real reeeeeal good care of you.Hey little boy...I've got some caaaaannnnndddyyyyyy.....And there's an ice cream cone in it if you bring Chris Richardson and Blake Lewis. More About: Gets , Little
Dlisted: Kitty Wins Again...Kind Of
2007-04-19 02:59:00 Kitty has won the "Caption This" contest again at dlisted!Well, kind of. He got runner up, and that's ok too. Everyone still wants to screw the bridesmaid even when the bride is not available. More About: Kitty , List , Again , Wins , Listed
Sanjaya is GAY! But so is Kitty...and Blake Lewis and Chris Richardson are
2007-04-18 07:27:00 First, poor Sanjaya tries to attend a baseball game and gets his ass booed by the crowd. Then, tonight, the poor kid gets ripped a new one by Simon Cowell on national television. This was not just regular Idol banter - it was a tirade, and I honestly felt bad for the kid. Stop doing the Vote for the Worst crap. Kitty thinks that this guy is gayer than a clutch purse at the Oscars, but he's still got feelings. Vote him off and spare him. Seriously.And Sanjaya - lose the bandana. Just cuz you're gay does not mean you can pull it off. Only one gay can pull off bandanas like that one - and you're not him.That said, Kitty's still totally in love with fucking Blake Lewis . That scrumptious little piece of ... hmm ... perfection (smirk) has a home at Casa de Gatito any time he wants to come. Kitty's bed is certainly big enough for him and Chris Richardson.Only condition is that Kitty has to be in the center. A Blake Lewis-Chris Richardson-Kitty threesome? Yes please. More About: Hard
The Second Coming: Naked David Beckham Pics
2007-04-17 22:18:00 Oh. My. God.So Lil Beck s (which is thankfully not that little at all!) is wearing a turtle neck.Kitty's had a longstanding battle with enchirito peen, but this is one he could work with BECAUSE IT IS ATTACHED TO THE HOTTEST MAN ALIVE.Posh is one lucky cunt. And yes, Kitty broke his New Year's Resolution and said the "c word." Cunt cunty cunt cunt cunt.That got it out of his system. Now, speaking of that picture, he needs to go get something else out of his system too. More About: David Beckham , Beckham , David , Second
Easy, Breezy, Beautiful - DynaDouche
2007-04-17 06:44:00 Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the shower ... it's the DynaDouche!From dynadouche.com:The tip of the handle has a rounded ball design that allows for gentle to invigorating cleansing. Its angled design simply makes it easier to reach intimate parts of the body. Unlike "spray" type or hand held shower devices, the DynaDouche handle releases a sold stream of water; the temperature, precision and intensity of which you control to guaranty [sic] the most pleasurable, thorough and complete cleansing experience possibleThe DynaDouche - priced at a very reasonable $99.95 - has an all inclusive website. It has links with pictures for gays, straight sex, lesbo sex...and if the picture of the big yellow bunny positioned on the cowboy's penis says anything...animal sex too.Wow. I bet every fella's gonna want a DynaDouche for Christmas.Raise your hand if "ew!"And the pics in this entry are from the DynaDouche website - what the hell douching has to do with a gigantic yello... More About: Beautiful , Easy , Beau , Ouch
Virginia Tech Shootings
2007-04-17 02:12:00 Sad. Very sad.It took no time for the news stations to come up with the "massacre" info-graphics and prey on the vulnerable survivors of the horror.Stand strong, Virgin ia Tech . We're all rootin' for the Hokies! More About: Virginia Tech shooting
About a Kitty...
2007-04-14 21:43:00 1) My uncle once: showed me a porn when I was eight. It had naked women in it swimming in a pool and he told me they were mermaids. I wanted to see mermen.2) Never again in my life: will I drink anything containing Jagermeister.3) When I was five: my kindergarten teacher fixed my hair for school pictures day and I ended up looking like John Denver.4) High School: was a time to make plenty of mistakes and have few consequences. I was also the prom king.5) I will never forget: the sweet smell of the first apartment I shared with my first serious boyfriend.6) I once met: Christina Aguilera. She was really nice.7) There's this girl I know who: should be on the cover of Sports Illustrated and is really smart. She's a dangerous combination.8) Once, at a bar: I puked on Albert Pujols' car.9) By noon I'm usually: checking Perez Hilton for the tenth time and getting hungry.10) Last night I: was surprised when someone told me they loved me. It was nice.11) If I had only: appreciated my pa... More About: Kitty , About
Grindhouse (or) Kitty & Cockbag Go To Hell
2007-04-13 07:27:00 Cockbag (via Yahoo Messenger): I just emailed you a picture.Kitty : Greeeeeaaat. Is it a goiter?Cockbag: Nope. I'm so going to hell for it.Kitty: (intrigued) (looks) EEEEEEEW! Do you think he has a special pad in his underwear to prevent callouses and skidmarks?Cockbag: LMAO!Kitty: I'd still have sex with him. Then I'd throw him in the river and lie about it.Has this Kitty mentioned that this is not the first inappropriate conversation that he and Cockbag have had via Yahoo? Check this out for a particularly devilish one. You'll not be disappointed.And after a terribly long day of Yahoo messenging and pimping his all new myspace page, Kitty was exhausted and worn out. So of course, he took himself to the movies.Grindhouse , the new Quentin Tarantino / Robert Rodriguez film, was of course THE ONLY OPTION.This movie is the bomb. It is hands down the BEST Tarantino and the BEST Rodriguez film ever. This Kitty won't ruin it, but seeing Rose McGowan with her supersexy hot machine gun ... More About: House , Hell , Cock
La Lopez, Chris Richardson & Blake Lewis are Gay, and Goodbye Haley
2007-04-12 03:44:00 This Kitty and his gay ass have been drooling over the hotness that is Jennifer Lopez for a good long time now. What's not to love - the over-the-top sense of style? Her handiwork with a pistol at New York clubs in her Diddy Days? Her Latinaliciousness? So it needn't be said that her mentoring the kiddos on American Idol was almost as exciting as the promised "big relevations" on Lost this week.And speaking of Kitty's gay ass...the pic here of Chris Rich ardson and Blake Lewis in a gay pose is pretty hot. Totally fake - very very photoshopped - but because this was Latin week on Idol, this Gatito gives this photo a hearty "MUY CALIENTE!" These two are hotter than the acquitted members of the Duke Lacrosse Team - and probably aren't nearly as aggressive when committing rape. Sigh - here's hoping.Seeing Sangaya...er...Sanjaya say that he was going to get J. Lopez' phone number and not tell Marc Anthony was laughable at best. Quit trying to convince us you're not a 'mo, Sanjaya!... More About: Hard
Larry Birkhead: Anna Nicole Smith's Baby Daddy
2007-04-10 22:13:00 Big surprise.A Bahamian court revealed today that Larry Birkhead is the father of Dannilynn Hope Marshall Stern Zsa Zsa Gabor's Gay Husband Smith.This Kitty could have told everyone that a long time ago. Just like he could have told everyone that Anna Nicole died from drug interactions.Kitty is SINGING praises to Jesus for this bonus Easter gift tho - given his previous 'relations' wif Anna Nicole, and the baby's striking resemblance to this Kitty - he was worried the DNA test would point the court right to him.Kitty's got more paparazzi - and mamarazzi - than he can currently deal with, so this comes as a very special Easter blessing. More About: Anna Nicole Smith , Baby , Daddy
Ouch, Man. Fucking Ouch.
2007-03-30 08:17:00 Kitty's day began with a near attack by a crazed squirrel...and ended with one of the more painful experiences in his lil Kitty life.This morning, knowing his boss was out of town, Kitty slept in. After showering, picking out a very cute (yet not work appropriate) outfit, he headed for his car.As he was walking to the parking garage...he heard chattering. Not people chattering, but a rodent-esque chattering.Fuck. If you are fortunate enough to know Kitty in person, you'll have heard his raccoon story and know that he is not fond of small animals (cats and dogs excluded.)As he was walking down the stairs to get to his automobile, he happened to glance to his left...and let out a quiet but frightened "ohfuck."Eye level on a divider in the garage was a chattering squirrel. He looked like he was going to jump on Kitty. Kitty hollered at him, tried to get him to run off...and he did. Right under my car.Like a scene from a terrible scary movie, Kitty heard squirrel chatter under his car... More About: Fucking , King , Ouch
What We Call the News
2007-03-29 20:30:00 This Kitty has quite often lamented the quality of actual news for those of us living in the United States. We're fed a constant diet of fluff and drivel, so its no wonder that the rest of the world mostly hates us.We're like Dana McReynolds, that nasty bitch that Kitty went to high school with. The world sees us like the prom queens we are - Americans have money, they're self-absorbed, and they think they are better than anyone else. Right, Dana?? RIGHT?!?!Perusing JibJab today, Kitty found their newest video - a commentary of the decline of American news. Keep your eyes peeled for Britney Spears' pussy, Anna Nicole's baby daddies, and even the Rosie O'Donnell vs. Donald Trump fight. It's definitely American news at our best.What We Call the News | Send To Friends | Funny Animations at JibJab More About: The N , The News , Hat
American Idol: Shrek Vs. Tinkerbell
2007-03-28 03:19:00 So maybe this Kitty is being mean - meaner than a damn snake as his Nanny would say - but is it just us, or does Melinda Doolittle from America n Idol look like Shrek ? We get it. Bitch is humble. Bitch can sing. But Bitch is also boring as fuck, and if she wins she's going to turn into Ruben Studdard! Done and done-er. I'm waiting for Lakisha to look at No-Neck Shrek, give in to temptation, and just eat her up in one single bite.Sanjaya Malakar (Tinkerbell), Idol's resident gay (Don't fret, Ryan Seacrest! He'll not be hanging on to your princess crown long, gurl!) donned some fucked up hair to emulate late 90's No Doubt, and actually ended up looking pretty cute, in this Kitty's opinion. (BTW, we read yesterday on Perez Hilton that Seacrest's former 'girlfriend' said that he's totally straight. Right. So is Ricky Martin, as these pics demonstrate.)Blake Lewis and his lame ass beatbox needs to die. We're done with him.But Chris Richardson...yum. Kitty would hit that with a... More About: American Idol , American , Bell
The World in 2006: Nuckin' Futs!
2007-03-27 23:43:00 So this Kitty was recently browsing JibJab, and found this little gem that recaps the year 2006.Hilarious!Not sure what's funnier - Ariel Sharon's "hemoraggic stroke" or the little boy singing, "My congressman IM'd me for a picture of my ass."Nuckin' Futs! The JibJab Year in Review | Send To Friends | Funny Animations at JibJab More About: World , The World
Anna Nicole Autopsy Results Revealed
2007-03-26 18:50:00 So today after waiting for almost two months we find out what killed Anna Nicole Smith.Drug overdose? Big fucking surprise.Kitty could have given his informed medical opinion about this one about five minutes after bitch bought the farm.Kitty can ALSO give his informed medical opinion that Danilynn Hope's daddy is not going to be Howard K. Stern or Zsa Zsa's hubby Prince Dunderfuck. Everyone knows its Larry Birkhead or the frozen sperm of her old ass dead husband, with Big Gay Larry probably being the number one choice. We don't need a court in the Bahamas to determine that. Give a Kitty $100 bucks - he'll say whatever you want him to say.This is dumb. They hold out for months on her autopsy results, and then announce it was an accidental overdose? Bullshit. The medical examiner wants to become a star, just like that lame ass crying judge.Hey Media! Thanks for making this relevant! Thanks a lot. What's the Iraq death toll up to these days?Oh, and while a Kitty is rantin', why ... More About: Tops , Results , Auto , Cole
Proof that Sanjaya is Gay
2007-03-25 22:11:00 If he were straight, could he have that fabulous hair? The matching shoes/sweater combo?Sanjaya is DEFINITELY gay.Jesus people. Give it a rest.Why does it matter? He's a 17 year old kid in a glorified karaoke contest?Let him have his fun.Why is the appeal of not knowing or knowing for sure that someone is gay even a matter of interest anymore?Haven't we moved on? More About: Hat , Proof , Roof , That
Let the Commencing Commence
2007-03-23 22:11:00 So this Kitty has reached a milestone.After a few years of making sure that all i's were dotted and all t's were crossed...Kitty found out on Wednesday that he completed his final class with flying colors and has earned his master's of management degree!Being that this class was Managerial Finance taught by a wretched, deplorable, vile, small-dicked man (trust a Kitty), it is especially notable that Kitty earned a VERY VERY good grade.And Kitty didn't even have to sleep with him! El yay!So, until August when Kitty begins the master of science in computer education...no more school, no more books, no more drinking at 5 to ensure that class goes easily.Go me!ps-the name of the image tagged with this entry was "jumbotassels." I thought Jumbo Tassels worked in East St. Louis. More About: Men , Comm
Rome: Definitely NOT Built in a Day
2007-03-19 06:16:00 Rome on HBO has got to be the hottest show ever made.The cast of characters - all three dimensional, and none completely lovable or easy to completely hate.Sadly, all good things do come to an end, and this Rome ends after two seasons this coming Sunday.Goodbye to Atia, the spiteful bitch mother of Octavian, later to become Emperor Caesar Augustus. Goodbye to the charming man-friendship of Titus Pullo and Lucius Vorenus.Goodbye, hardest of all, to the SMOLDERING chemistry between Antony and Cleopatra.The scene below, from Antony's arrival in Egypt, is chemistry-laden. Hot hot hot. More About: Rome
Is Africa's AIDS Cure Too Good to be True?
2007-03-17 04:47:00 Is hope ever false?It goes without saying that AIDS/HIV basically sucks. Sucks hard.And while so much is being done to find a cure, even Bono's failed Red campaign, so much more *could* be happening.So when Kitty read that the President of Gambia had been told by his ancestors in a dream how to concoct a cure for AIDS, he was hopeful, but of course cautious.This disease is decimating a continent. Generations will not exist because of this killer. Entire cultures are being wiped out.But hope springs eternal.So maybe President Jammeh has found the magic bullet. Stranger things have happened. The CNN article says that people should be cautious as this news may give false hope. But, is hope EVER false? Isn't hope the best medicine?And why does the Western World feel the need to dispute possible herbal remedies? Iran also recently announced that its drug IMOD was a herbal cure for AIDS. Why does the West not try to test these remedies? Are the pharmaceutical corporations that soul-less... More About: Africa , True , Good , Cure , Aids
What Did St. Patrick Drive?
2007-03-15 16:51:00 Kitty was about five years old when this conversation happened.BitchNurse: ...and that is why we celebrate St. Patrick's day. This is the day that St. Patrick drove all the snakes out of Ireland.Kitten (cuz he wasn't a Kitty just yet): Drove? Like in a car? I would not want to be in a car full of snakes. That is gross!BitchNurse: Blinks. Stares at Kitten.Kitten: What kind of a car did he drive anyway? This is very unrealistic. That would have to be a very big car.BitchNurse: I need a drink.Kitty was a smart lil fella. Reading early and at an advanced level, the parents were often targets for questions such as these. Sometimes they answered - most of the time they did - but Lord knows that this lil Kitty was a carton full of crazy - even back then - and sometimes even parents need a liquid break.And speaking of crazy, whatever happened to Darby O'Gill and the Little People? That movie used to come on every year when Kitty was a lil guy, now you never see it.Kitty always knew St. P... More About: Drive , Rick , Hat , Trick
Kitty Gets Dlisted
2007-03-14 16:33:00 Kitty won the "Caption This" contest on Dlisted today!If you're not reading dlisted, you should be. Its the BEST celebrity gossip site on the net.Sweet!Now all he has to do is convince MK, dlisted's hot author, to fall in love with him.The plan is all falling into place! More About: Kitty , List , Gets , Listed
President Bush is Cool. Like Prom Queen Cool.
2007-03-10 20:13:10 President Bush is like, so freaking cool, that like he's going on this big tour of Latin America and stuff, and like ALL the people down there really like him and stuff. Its awesome!He's so popular that like, he should be like the Prom Queen, but like even better!At least he WISHES that's what people were saying about him.In addition to my lovely Latin people burning him in effigy before he even arrives, people are saying things like this:* "Get Out, Imperialist!" - Brazil* "Goody Osburn and President Bush are in league with the Devil!" - Abigail Williams* "George Bush Killed Anna Nicole! Thanks for the tourism dollars!" Bahamas* "We know that Bush and the United States are known for exploiting weaker countries into deals that will only benefit themselves without worrying about the environment" - Brazil* "Get Out, Bush! Assassin!" - Uruguay* "Bush licked his finger and stuck it up my ass!" -KittyAnd this Gatito's personal favorite:*Why is he coming here? It makes no sense. It'... More About: President , Cool
Tabloid Tuesday - Anna Nicole's Last Photo and Batboy Sighted in NY
2007-03-07 02:08:01 When Kitty was just a lil kitten, he used to lie on his Nanny's bed and read the gossip magazines for hours.In particular, he enjoyed the Weekly World News. Kitty would read with glee week after week about the discovery of Batboy, the aliens cavorting with the wives of the President in the White House (we knew something was up with you, Hilary Clinton and Nancy Reagan!) to the coming apocalypse and the written test to determine whether one would be sent to heaven or hell upon their death.You already know what Kitty's test results were on that one.So while one of his job functions was hindered today by some technical issues beyond his control, this Kitty checked out the tabloids online.Not just the usual Perez Hilton and Dlisted, but Kitty really dug deep. The Weekly World News has a site - complete with LIVE Batboy footage - as does the National Enquirer and the Sun. This shit is GOLD!The Enquirer even ran photos of a dead Anna Nicole Smith, which may or may not be fake.Tabl oids a... More About: Photo , Last , Cole
Maybe the Republicans Were Right...
2007-03-07 02:08:01 So maybe the Teletubbies really were gay. More About: Republicans , Republican , Public , Maybe , Right
Kitty's New Pet
2007-03-03 14:06:01 Kitty is a hardcore animal lover, as many of you may know.His two catboys, Noodles and Ravioli, are in desperate need of a new companion though.So, Kitty's thinking he wants a Chupcabra.How cute and cuddly!!!If any of you can get one for this Kitty, he'll be eternally gratefulFingers crosseed! More About: Kitty
So Cuba's Run by Fidel. But...
2007-02-28 02:03:04 are they more progressive?Like Kitty's lil magic 8 ball frequently says...All signs point to yes.Granted, Kitty is a certified Cuba phile - from Cuban cigars to the Gipsy Kings.* Cuba gave us Celia Cruz and Gloria Estefan.* Cuba gave us the mojito.* Cuba gives its residents free health care* Cuba has a higher infant and adult mortality rate than the USA Kitty could go on and on.So when he read this gem today, this Kitty nearly WET his'self:When it comes to gay rights, is Cuba inching ahead of USA?What's with these Latin-American and Caribbean countries? First Mexico? Now Cuba?What's the world coming to! Gays marrying! Oh my!Prez Bush...we know you hate us 'mos. But you're getting beaten by Fidel Castro. Come on, now. A man you call a dictator is being recognized for driving his country toward protecting homosexuals and granting marriage or civil unions to gays...but you try to amend the US Constitution to discriminate against them?What's up with that?First, end the embargo. It...
Pleased then Disgusted - Its Oscar Time!
2007-02-26 14:01:08 Its Oscar Night!Which in the B. Kitty household means frustration that the Family Guy and American Dad won't be on. Nor will Rome.Only self-righteous celebretards parading about in overpriced clothing and making sanctimonious comments about driving hybrid cars and helping raise HIV in Africa awareness.Here's a thought. Hold off on the $6k dress and donate that cash to environmental research...or HIV research.So, in order to avoid the onslaught of television coverage of this lemming parade...Kitty went to the grocery store.Doing so, he was QUITE proud that nothing in his cart exceeded 7g of sugar per serving, or 250mg of sodium. VERY pleased Kitty left the store and headed home.Time to catch up on the news. The disgust began to set in.First, there was CNN:Then MSNBC:Even the venerable BBC!Thank God for the Monitor.Ick. I guess I'll be forced to watch Joan and Melissa.Go Helen Mirren! More About: Please , Lease , Ease
Breaking News: Newly Elected Satan Takes Command of Hell
2007-02-26 14:01:08 Kitty's blood ran ice cold as he nervously looked outside the window of his office at 3:21 p.m. today.No brimstone emerging from the earth.No frogs raining from heaven.No streets flowing with the blood of the non-believers.Yet.Karen Foss, Kitty's longtime hair salon nemesis, is set to take over the Public Relations helm at Ameren UE.Ameren's surely hoping to use a warm and cuddly (HA!) face familiar to St. Louisans to help curb the public shitstorm they've created.Ameren, which was was responsible for the citywide power outages back in July and then again in November, recently had the nerve to ask for a rate hike. Rate hike my Kitty ass. Keep the power turned on during a rainstorm then we can talk.Foss, a serious c-word of a woman, not only got Kitty bumped from his prized first Thursday night of the month at his FORMER hair salon, but was also a nasty bitch when Kitty did a brief part-time stunt in retail.Forget the warm and cuddly face you see on tv. Forget her "charitable wor... More About: News , Breaking News , Satan , Break , Take
Thank YOU, Jesus...
2007-02-26 14:01:08 ...for Popsugar and this HOT pic of Becks (and mini-Becks) too! More About: Jesus , Thank You , Jesu , Hank
Is Britney Spears a Magic 8 Ball?
More articles from this author:2007-02-26 14:01:08 Poor poor Britney Spears .Girl is FUCKED in the head.Kitty likes Britney - still - and if she can manage to turn her Louisiana ass around and start manufacturing music...er...singing?...uh...making a CD that us gays can dance to in clubs...the world would probably forgive her.Lately though, Ho is a carton full of crazy.Bitch shaved her headLikes her dog more than her kidOwns a dog (and shouldn't, she'll probably smoke it)Has attempted suicide twice (according to the hotness that is Perez Hilton)Is sportin some broke ass wig that not even Whitney would have been caught dead inIs making KFED look like the GOOD parentWas in and out of rehab in one day wif her mad Lohan-like skillzand...maybe worst of all...is such a crazy broad that even hot party princess Paris Hilton has called her "the animal" and distanced herself. You go, Paris! Good decision maker, that one is.Poor Britney. She looks like a magic 8 ball. Is cheering her on and hoping for better things like cheering on a trainwre... More About: Magic , Pear 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 |
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