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Mordor Look Out - It's Hobbit Time!
2007-02-26 14:01:08
From CNN:SOUTH EUCLID, Ohio (AP) -- A college ring lost more than 20 years ago by a former undercover officer for the CIA has been found in an underwater cave off the coast of Africa.Steve Ruic, a writer on staff at Notre Dame College, received an e-mail about two weeks ago from a professional diver from Germany. Wilfried Thiesen wrote that he had found a class ring bearing the college's name while diving off Mauritius.The ring was engraved with the year '76. The ring was missing the thin portion on the underside that ordinarily carries its owner's name.Ruic publicized the discovery in both an e-mail to college staff and a newsletter to alumni, but no one came forward to claim it.Then, while interviewing a member of the class of 1976 for an unrelated alumni magazine story, Ruic asked Dr. Maryellen Amato Stratmann if she'd ever been to Mauritius."I couldn't believe it," Ruic said. "She said, 'No, but Clare Cavoli Lopez has."'Lopez, a 1976 Notre Dame College graduate and former...
More About: Mordor , Hobbit , Time , Look , Ordo

Courtney Cox's Dirt and The Secret Blog
2007-02-26 14:01:08
Kitty loves secrets...especially dirty secrets.Coincidentally, he's also VERY good at keeping them.Which is why this Kitty is completely in LOVE with the PostSecret blog. Readers send in their secrets on a postcard, don't sign them, and they go online..or in a book. Very clever. Some are just completely pathetic, but some are genuinely funny.Also, while searching for the secretblog's address, I found Victoria's Dirt y Secret, a super cool site that's trying to change the catalog industry to make it more environmentally friendly. You go on wif your bad selves!And tonight, the hottest new show on television is on. Dirt, the brainchild (and starring) the hotness that is Courtney Cox is one of Kitty's favorite shows. Full of scandal, drama, and self-deprecating humor...Dirt is a real winner. Also, Perez Hilton and Jennifer Anniston are scheduled to make guest spots on the show, which will prove to be very fun. I hope they make Jen a serious bitch. I love her, and it would be really...
More About: Blog , The Secret

No, God! Not Prince Harry! Not the Hot One!
2007-02-26 14:01:08
Oh hell and damnation!After five years of speculation about what was hidden inside the inactive dumbwaiter outside Kitty's office door, he discovered this morning that it was only a heating duct. Gone are the dreams of an active dumbwaiter full of goodies and treats from the cafeteria four floors below. Then, as part of his morning ritual, Kitty looks at CNN only to have yet another disappointment."Bullet Magnet" Prince Harry to Be Deployed to IraqWell fuckity fuck fuck fuck. And fuck. Of course the hot one would get sent. Why not horsey-faced Prince William? Why Hot Harry? WHY GOD? WHY!?! (Harry has also been a longstanding number two on Kitty's hottest men list)In all seriousness, as one knows, Kitty is very much anti-war in general, and this little skirmish in Iraq is no different. War is deplorable in any sense, in this Kitty's opinion, and can be resolved intelligently through diplomacy and compromise.That said, what the FUCK does Great Britain think is going to happen when ...
More About: God

Its Like Porn on Ice!
2007-02-26 14:01:08
Tonight Kitty and RockChalkChick had a night on the town that involved tasty food and hot hot men.The night began at a St. Louis Blues game. One may be surprised to know that in addition to being a RABID soccer fan, Kitty is also a big fan of hockey. Perhaps its because its fast-paced and action packed. Perhaps its the fact that a fight can break out at any moment and is entirely expected. Or, perhaps it is the 6 foot 2 inches of perfection that is Bill Guerin, lucky number 13.This was Kitty's first live Blues game after following them on television for a couple years, so this was a particularly exciting experience. Once the game started, Kitty looked at RockChalkChick and said, "Seriously, this is fucking hot. Its like porn on ice!"We had been seeing yellow hockey masks on fans all night, and Kitty was bound and determined to get one. The gift shops weren't selling them, but Kitty and RockChalkChick had walked by guest services, and Kitty figured - as a Kitty usually does - that ...
More About: Like

Kitty's Straight List - Its Sexy Time!
2007-02-26 14:01:08
Kitty and a friend were recently talking about music, and Shakira came up.Kitty quickly said, "I fucking LOVE her. She's numero uno on my straight list."Blank stare from Kitty's friend. "What's a straight list?" he asked."Its a list of women that I'd go straight for. I keep a list of ten that are hot enough to turn me."So on mainly newsless Thursday, Kitty decided to openly publish his straight list - full of beautiful, exotic, sexy women.1. Shakira - big surprise. Speaks three languages, plays multiple instruments, has the voice of an angel and her hips DEFINITELY don't lie. Pure magic.2. Lucy Liu- She can kick ass, cut off someone's head (a la Kill Bill Volume I), speak five languages, and is good friends with Ellen's bitch Portia de Rossi. She also is a recurring character on Futurama, so one could reckon she's got a great sense of humor too.3. Salma Hayek - Fine, she was a serious bitch on Ugly Betty. She had one eyebrow in Frida. But who could forget the most memorable ...
More About: Time , Kitty , Sexy , List , Stra

Great. Its Fucking Valentine's Day.
2007-02-26 14:01:08
This Kitty woke up with thoughts of death, destruction and world conquest in his heart. Nothing new, right?Then he remembered...it's fucking Valenti ne 's Day.In addition to being a holiday that celebrates love (and punches those of us who are not currently in love or loved at all right square in the genitals) Valentine's Day was once a Kitty's anniversary with a very special someone.Kitty has also been having some serious Internet connection issues at home, and has been fighting with the entirely incompetent Charter Communications customer service department for a week now. Today, he was supposed to have an appointment, which meant he was able to take the morning off work.Thus, after waking up at 8, feeling very alone, spiteful, and preparing for the forthcoming Charter Battle Royale, Kitty decided to have breakfast.This was a breakfast of champions. Knowing that we didn't have to be at work until noon or so, Kitty whipped up a breakfast of champions. Chocolate waffles (three of...
More About: Great , Fucking , King

Fox and Friends Gives the Racism Report
2007-02-26 14:01:08
So for some unknowng reason, Kitty was watching Fox & Friend s , and the closeted weatherfag Steve Doocy (Douchey!) did something just horrifying. Kitty has been looking for transcripts on this one or better yet a YouTube video, but thank God for TiVo, cuz Kitty's transcribing this one.Doocy, standing in front of a weather map:"Oh look, now I'm standing kind of in Mexico.""Soon I'll go up to Arizona and open an illegal bank account."Yep, it really happened. Heard it with my own Latino ears, and saw it with my own Latino eyes.Fair and balanced my chicano ass.
More About: Report , Port , Racism

Grammy Perfection
2007-02-26 14:01:08
Per usual, the latina fantastica who is numero uno on Kitty's "straight list" was completely FLAWLESS at the Gram my Awards last night.La Shakira is muy caliente...and did a Kitty mention flawless? She's liquid perfection.And this Kitty was doing air guitar all five times the Dixie Chicks got an award. Ya'll know that W really did turn his television off when he saw that trend starting. Of course, he probably turned it off much earlier when he saw that there were *gasp* blacks and gays in the audience.And speaking of gays...that gay icon Christina Shaguilera is really rockin' the 40's look. Some are saying its getting kind of old. Its definitely better than the old and durrrrty Xtina. Call me nostalgic, but I think her new looks suits her if she wants to be taken seriously.
More About: Perfect , Perfection , Grammy

Jesus Christ on a Cracker! I'm a Saint!
2007-02-10 19:57:02
B. Kitty to AngryBlackBitch:"I think I have stigmata. Seriously"ABB: "Should we have a prayer meeting?"Kitty: "I'm opening up a church! I'm going to bless and smite! I'm a saint!"The aforementioned conversation really happened. Really. And this Kitty honestly did think he had a mad case of stigmata.Really.(By the way, for those who frequently suggest that Kitty have his own reality show...Kitty's starting to agree. This shit is priceless.)Whilst Kitty was marveling at his own miraculous ass (and making the list of people who would henceforth be smote), and thanking Jesus for making him the vessel of His miraculousness, logic actually began to set in.Not that Kitty doesn't believe in miracles - but this one just seemed to good to be true. And being the good Beta Male that Kitty is...he just knew something was amiss.Then, upon closer examination...The stigmata turned out to be blisters from the flip-flops Kitty had worn during his mad shopping spree in Cozumel.Fun with religion ...
More About: Jesus Christ , Christ , Chris , Crack

Sometimes...
2007-02-10 01:55:02
I even make myself laugh.Yes, it really happened just like that. And the warning sign in this post is from Taco Bell on Delmar and Kingshighway.I have five more class nights until I get my master's degree. Its about fucking time. I'd love to recap my vacation, but RockChalkChick beat me to it, and she did it better than I could have. Mainly, because she was the sober one.Cockbag's doing a word of the day. And he got me a pink princess canopy for my bed for my birthday.At least someone recognizes my divinity.
More About: Time , Times , Some

No More Trim Spa, Baby
2007-02-10 01:55:02
Boo.Anna Nicole Smith bit it today.Which is actually really sad. She wanted to be Marilyn Monroe and it looks like she got her wish. She lived tragically, was known for her lack of intelligence, was rarely taken seriously, and was only a mediocre actress. Her body was to die for, granted, but girlfriend was definitely a carton full of crazy.This Kitty liked him some Anna Nicole. Rootin' for the underdog has always been one of Kitty's favorite hobbies. From her son's tragic death just three days after her baby girl was born to the Trim -Spa lawsuit filed by some angry fat bitches and Anna Nicole's painful battle with so many different kinds of addictions...we really wanted her to come out on top. At least Kitty did.We should all pour a lil bit of our spirits (and some champagne, but only a lil bit) on the ground tonight for our gurl Anna Nicole.ps-Special shout out to TaterTot for the catchy title of this entry.
More About: Baby , More

Do You Think Bush is a Gay?
2007-02-10 01:55:02
He's had past issues with substance abuse. He enjoys playing dress up - be it the VERY Village People Cowboy or the UberButch Air Force Man. He even has Joni Mitchell songs on his iPod.So when a spammer sent Kitty an email this morning with the subject line "Do you think Bush is a gay?" the question had to be answered.Consider these things:Speech disorders - while many gays tend to be lispy, Georgie's disorder of choice appears to be dyslexiaUsage of the word "fabulous" - A Kitty quotes, "It has been a FABULOUS year for Laura and me," said Bushie. Granted this happened three months after 9/11, but her ultimate fabulousness should eclipse any major tragedy.Attraction to men - Everyone who's anyone knows that Georgie and Tone-Tone Blair have a thing going on behind closed doors, but the Big Prez has publicly acknowledged a beautiful man in public. Who's the lucky fella? Why Britt Hume of Fox News, of course. "In all due respect, you've got a beautiful face."Favorite Television Sh...
More About: Think , Bush I

Black History Month
2007-02-02 07:52:02
Black Hist ory Month is upon us, friends!But the time to celebrate progressive leaders, to pray for equality for all, to remember and not repeat the mistakes of our past is absolutely and definitely not something that should be confined to a mere month on the calendar! Its something we should reflect on each day - regardless of the hue of our skin!Reading the St. Louis Post-Dispatch online this morning, I came upon a poll. The results of which are in the image in this particular entry. Sad sad and did I mention sad?And for the ignorant folks who replied to another feature on the Post-Dispatch's with brilliant comments like, "When is white history month?" a Kitty would like to respond:"Months that end in the letters y, h, l, e, t and r."Celebrate progress. Reflect on how you can change the world and make it better for everyone. And pray for equality for us all.The clip below is somewhat offensive. It's from "the Boondocks." The premise is that Martin Luther King went into a coma aft...
More About: Story , Black , Stor