Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

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Guilt & the Law of Attraction
2008-03-08 04:21:00
I?ve been writing about guilt and how it hurts our lives. It gives other people power over your life and happiness. Often your choice to assuming guilt is a lose/lose situation. You lose if you give in to what the person makes you feel guilty about, such as canceling your plans to help them, loaning money you don?t want to (and know you probably won?t get back), giving a referral about someone you don?t really trust, etc. Guilt makes you do things you don?t want to. That makes you unhappy.You lose if you don?t give in to what the person wants from you if you let guilt take over. That too makes you unhappy.The Law of Attraction means you get back what you put out. If you put out that you?re accepting a mindset that brings unhappiness, you attract more unhappiness, probably in the form of more guilt. Why do that??! It brings nothing good. The people who make you feel guilty aren?t satisfied with one time. Guilt can be an ongoing process: * Mom may moan about how much she needs you to ...
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Lightening Guilt?Part 2
2008-03-04 18:19:00
On Friday I posted a response to a reader who asked for help with managing her guilt. She?s feeling guilty about the fallout from her divorce. Yet her husband drank heavily and refused to give up his contact with a woman he?d become very close to. When I was a DoorMat I lived with lots of guilt. The few times I turned down requests for my help, guilty feelings pervaded my existence. After my divorce I had a boyfriend who blamed me for all the wrong HE did. It was MY fault when he misinterpreted things I said that were clear and full of loving intentions. It was MY fault that he didn?t show up when he said he would. He had many problems that were beyond my control and were there long before he met me. I knew that on a rational level. But insecurity makes the nicest of us irrational. I?d apologize profusely while a voice in the back of my head asked why? I?d done nothing wrong!In retrospect, I see that my insecurity pushed me to be perfect, which is impossible to be. Yet I gave it the...
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Lightening Guilt?Part 1
2008-03-01 05:30:00
A reader wrote to ask me about guilt. She told me the story of how when her husband began to drink too much, she lost her desire for sex. He continued drinking heavily and she withdrew more. Then she discovered his ?friendship? with another woman and demanded he end it. He refused and it eventually ended their marriage. Now remember the sequence?he drinks too much, she withdraws because of the drinking, he cheats and blames her for him turning to another woman, static leads to divorce. And she?s guilty!Hello! His drinking was the first thing that initiated the sequence. She took the blame because he?d complained about not having enough sex, while his escalating drinking caused her lack of interest. Now she?s divorced and struggling with mounting debt as she tries to raise her two kids alone. Guilt made her assume responsibility for debts that her ex-husband was responsible for. As she tries to take control of her life, he continues to hurl guilt bombs at her.Guilt is a big happiness...
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I Promise Not to Eat It All!
2008-02-27 20:22:00
I went to my local diner for breakfast and next to me was a solo chick. She ordered an omelet. The waiter asked if she wanted home or French fries. She chose home fries, then added, with a guilty look and tone, ?But I won?t eat them all.? I perked up. The waiter gave her a weird look as she emphasized a need to make it perfectly clear that while she wanted the potatoes, she intended to leave some. Did she really think the waiter gave a rat?s behind whether she ate them? Guilt about eating something fattening made her qualify out loud that she believed she was bad for eating them, thus she planned to leave some. Penance for a desire to eat tasty food? She wanted the potatoes too much to say no to them altogether, but wouldn?t let herself enjoy them! I ate mine as I listened in and felt compassion for this woman who wouldn?t enjoy the yummy potatoes that I savored. What was she really saying?Interpretation: ?I know I?m a bad girl for eating potatoes. Therefore, I?m going to reassure m...
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What Does Happiness Mean to You?
2008-02-25 20:56:00
This month, Alex Shalman started the Happiness Project. He?s interviewing bloggers, asking them the same 5 questions about happiness. He?s also asked other bloggers to answer the questions on their own blogs. So I?m participating. If you?d like to answer them on your own blog, please do! THE QUESTIONS1. How do you define happiness?I read some of the happiness posts from other bloggers and saw a variety of answers for what might seem like a simple question. What is happiness? According to WordNet, happiness is a ?state of well-being characterized by emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy.? That?s the best one I found online that reflects my own perception of happiness.Many bloggers talked about how happiness varies from person to person. I think what varies is the path to reach it, not the state of feeling it. Happiness is an inside job. There?s a BIG difference between factors that make you happy, and the feeling you get from being happy, which to me is happiness. Happines...

Constructive Internet Networking
2008-02-23 00:14:00
I?ve always advocated networking as a way to meet people who can be beneficial in your career and lots more. In my music business books, I emphasize how even without tons of money people can develop a career if they develop a friendly personality, get to industry events, collect cards with contact info, and follow up. The Internet makes networking a whole different ballgame.I?ve been very blessed to make some good friends online, especially since I began this blog. I was honored when Todd at We The Change invited me to be interviewed for his new podcast series. In it I talk more about how I got from being an unhappy DoorMat and teacher to reinvent myself into the career I have today. He posted it Wednesday and I?m humbled by his words about me. If you?d like to hear my story, check out Stop Being a Doormat: Lessons from an Expert. Internet networking is both more personal and more detached.People answer personal ads, share deep feelings back and forth, fall in love before even spea...
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Carnival of Healing #125
2008-02-15 18:15:00
Welcome to the Carnival of Healing #125! I?m absolutely delighted to be hosting again. The Carnival is a weekly round-up of personal blog posts on the topics of holistic health, wellness, spirituality, and self-empowerment. It?s coordinated by About.com's Guide to Holistic Healing, Phylameana Iila Desy.Last week's Carnival of Healing was kindly hosted by World Healing. Astrid is a Reiki Master Teacher and as someone who also does reiki, I was delighted to read We Are One World Healing » Reiki- 10 Myths Debunked. Reiki is hands on healing and people have a lot of misconceptions about it, which this article clears up. Next week it will be hosted by Natural Pain Relief.I?ve been celebrating self-love on my blog his week in honor of Valentine?s Day. In that spirit, I?ll present the articles as different ways you can show yourself love. I believe that taking care of body, mind and spirit is very loving. Having a Love Affair with Yourself is a strong catalyst for many other things...

10 Things I LOVE About Me!
2008-02-14 23:01:00
I confess. I?m currently not in love with a guy right now and feel no shame or disappointment. I?ve dated a few guys lately but nothing special. It?s Valentine ?s Day and I?m okay. Actually, I?m better than okay. Falling in love with ME has been the most beneficial love I?ve experienced so far. I?d love to meet a special guy who?d be worth my time. Otherwise, I have so much I want to do and would rather do them than to be bored on a date. I do believe with all my heart that there is one special guy for me, and when the time is right, God will arrange for us to meet. Until then, I?ll continue to enjoy my life and give myself lots of love and appreciation.That?s why, in honor of V Day, I shall make a list of things I love about me. You should try it too! Identifying what you?re happy with is a form of gratitude that comes back to you. Love yourself and you?ll get more love from others. So here it is:10 THINGS I LOVE ABOUT ME:1. My connection with God. For so many years I had no faith a...
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A Rose for Me!
2008-02-13 18:17:00
Tomorrow is the day that creates stress for many folks--Valentine 's Day. We see men walking down the street carrying the often-obligatory flowers. Every year after 5 when work lets out, drug stores in NYC are full of men lining up to pay for something they grabbed off of a shelf to appease the romantic nature of their ladies. I always laugh when I see them, not putting much thought into the candy, card, stuffed animal, etc. to give to a woman who?ll probably oooo and ahhh over it. And it?s called romance.One day dedicated to love. A day to force people to express their love. But it?s also a tradition that doesn?t put enough emphasis on loving each other every day.I?m not bah humbugging Valentine?s Day. It can be lots of fun and an excuse to have great sex. But it?s given too much importance. Women expect a lot from their guys, who often don?t know what gifts to buy. Flowers are easy. They take no thought except to go buy them. Yet we love getting them. I do. In the long run, a gif...
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Having a Love Affair with Yourself
2008-02-11 21:16:00
Do you love yourself? A large majority of people don?t! They may love some of their attributes?the body they worked hard to develop in the gym, success at work, finding someone who?s considered a ?catch? to marry, etc. Most self-empowerment books emphasize the importance of loving yourself. While it?s a wonderful concept, putting it into practice is tough! We want to think we love ourselves. It seems like the right thing to do. Yet I encounter folks all the time who say they love themselves, but their actions prove otherwise. It isn?t loving to: * Do more to make other people happy than you do for YOU. * Talk about what?s wrong with you. * Forget to take supplements you know you need to be healthy. * Refuse to accept compliments or gratitude when you help someone. * Stay in a relationship with someone who treats you poorly and ignores your needs.When I was a DoorMat, my real friends encouraged me to love myself. They hated all the ways I did so much for people at my own expense, whi...
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Growing Into Your Dreams
2008-02-09 05:19:00
Today I had lunch with Todd, from We the Change. I?ve become friendly with many bloggers but this is the first time I?ve met one in person, since we both live in NYC. We talked about how important it is to both of us to do what we can to help our readers learn to help themselves. We both work on our own and are making our dreams come true. Yet so many people confine dreaming to their beds.We dream as kids ? of meeting Prince Charming, becoming a baseball player, or getting many of the things we see on TV and in movies. As we get older, we still have dreams, but they can seem more like fantasies if we haven?t made any come true. Eventually dreaming stops if it seems futile. Then bitterness or cynicism can dampen or extinguish happiness. I stand as an example that you can live out your dreams if you choose to!Do you live passively or on purpose? Waiting for things to happen doesn?t help turn dreams into reality. Use your power to live on purpose! What does that mean? Get in touch with...
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The Hurtful Side of Love
2008-02-06 18:36:00
Love is warm, fuzzy, gooshy, yummy. Next week I?ll discuss that kind in honor of Valentine?s Day. But today I want you to think the other kind of emotion that masquerades as love: * The kind that sweeps you off your feet, making you blind to your love?s abusive ways. * Feeling love that isn?t loving. * Using love as an excuse to be hurt. * Feeling very unloved in the love you convince yourself you?re getting.I have a very special guest today?Janine Latus, author of the NY Times bestseller, If I Am Missing or Dead (Simon & Schuster). It?s not a fun, pretty article. But it?s very real. Janine?s sister Amy was murdered by the man she loved. Janine was also in an abusive relationship. Her book is a very candid look at how Janine and Amy ended up in relationships that made them victims of abuse. Abuse is rampant, yet many of us turn the other way and hope it goes away. People in abusive relationships go into what I call protective denial. They rationalize it away by holding onto the sh...
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Multitasking More Efficiently
2008-02-04 20:13:00
On Friday I talked about how multitasking can be a curse. Killing 2 or more options with one stone has become the standard. I try to distinguish between juggling many tasks that are ongoing and multitasking. To me, the latter is trying to juggle more than one thing at a time, like doing your day job while texting, checking email, and doing other things simultaneously. Juggling ongoing tasks giving each your full attention can be better.For example, before I had my first book published, I had many ideas for topics to write about and began to develop a bunch of books. I jumped from one to another, never making any serious headway for any of them. For years I worked on many books. An idea for one book led to an idea for another and another. All in one day! I?d have the files for several titles opened at once as I worked on them all. My brain raced and raced, but I finally realized it wasn?t in a good way. I couldn?t focus well on any one of them, in addition to doing the work that earn...
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Multitasking Can Bite You
2008-02-01 17:27:00
Multitasking has become a way of life for many of us. Women work, care for kids, do household chores, AND, try to keep up with all the communication going on with email, cell calls, etc. Men, who are known for not being as communicative as women, are changing that with electronic devises that keep businesses functioning and people connected these days. Multitasking allows us to do a lot more. But is this a good thing?I remember when I did one thing at a time. There were no cell phones, emails, Internet distractions, text messenging, and we just ate blackberries. People talked to each other. I went to work, maybe called a friend or two when I could. Returning home meant preparing dinner, a little chatting or TV. For those of you in the Gen Y generation who don?t know what I?m talking about, those were days of less stress and often getting more things done well.I miss those times!Lately I?ve heard several talk show hosts discuss that multitasking has been found to often be more of a c...
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Do You Have a Toxic Friend Like Lindsay or Britney?
2008-01-30 21:33:00
Britney Spear?s friends go in TV talk shows to discuss her private business. On New Year?s Eve we saw pics of Lindsay Lohan being passed a bottle by people knowing she was in recovery from alcohol. It?s said to have happened again on Friday, when Lindsay was spotted sipping vodka cocktails, with ?friends." Hmmm?. Not exactly the kind of support I?d want from my friends.A real friend is someone you trust, who supports you and wants what?s in your best interest. Yet these pop stars can?t trust their friends to watch out for them. That certainly doesn?t bode well for their recovery from all the problems that plague them. People grab onto them for the wrong reason. Friend s can become enemies fast in the world of pop stars. Toxic friends are exactly that. I do believe that both Lindsay and Brit have more problems than someone like Paris Hilton because they don?t have a solid support system of healthy friends and family. It?s not just people in the spotlight that attract toxic pals. I?ve ...
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Live for YOU, Not a Romantic Partner
2008-01-28 22:13:00
Last week a reader asked a question in her comment. She and her boyfriend just finished school and are looking for jobs. They?re both twenty-five. He?s gone back home till summer. Her dilemma?move to his small town under uncomfortable circumstance with few job opportunities and then relocate when he moves back to the larger city to continue his education. Or, settle in the city on her own and get a good job that can help her career grow now. The first choice means putting her career on hold until August to be with him. I know how hard it would be to make a choice to leave the love of your life in another city. When I was in love in my earlier days, I made being with the guy more important than what was good for me. I believed that this was the love of my life and didn?t want to waste a minute of time with him. HE came first. I?d be the flexible one, which meant doing what he needed. Then we broke up and I was left with regrets for what I hadn?t done when I was with him. Love is impo...
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Getting Good Cable Service
2008-01-25 23:38:00
I always put the TV on after I wake up. I like to catch the news and the morning shows help perk me up. This morning I was doing some stretching exercises and almost hurt myself when I was jolted by the TV getting VERY loud suddenly. The cable box showed the channel I?d been watching but I had a very fuzzy loud Today show on my TV, which wasn?t what I was watching when it happened. I grabbed the remote but the volume buttons didn?t work and all the channels had the same show. Aggravation set in. Not as much at the TV but at the thought of having to deal with calling the cable company and dealing with the service people. For me, that can be torture. I know many others feel the same way and see having to make calls to people who are supposed to give us service as pain and suffering. Trying to get service can mean: * Being prompted by a recording to push lots of buttons. * Screaming at an electronic woman who wants you to talk to her and you want a real person. * Waiting on hold for wh...
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Learning Self-Control
2008-01-24 01:39:00
I'm delighted to have my friend Tina Tessina as a guest blogger. She?s a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who has written lots of great books and articles. I asked if I could put a sample of her new book in my newsletter. She kindly sent me a sample. With the breakup of relationships rampant, Tina identifies three main factors that can ruin a good one. These tips work for people who aren?t married too and can also help with non-romantic relationships with friends and colleagues. She has a new book, Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting about the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage (Adams Media, 2008).Learning Self-Control Adapted from Money, Sex and KidsBy Tina Tessina, Ph.DOne of the most powerful ways I found to stop being a doormat in relationships was to learn emotional self-control. When you?re too reactive to your partner, he or she can easily draw you into a fight that stops you both from focusing on fixing the problem.When you?re faced with an emotional situation, se...
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Music ? My Drug of Choice
2008-01-21 23:24:00
Music is many things to many people. As a music journalist, I?m privy to a lot of CDs. Depending on what I listen to, music can energize, relax, lift my spirits, make me melancholy, help me heal. Lola Fayemi at Real World Spiritual and Personal Development tagged me for her meme about inspirational music. Since I feel music has a lot of power over moods, emotions, and spirit, I?m delighted to participate. My music passion is very diverse.I?ve used music as my drug of choice for as long as I can remember. Drug s or more than social drinking has never been part of my life. But I?ve always been into music?as a music lover and as a stimulant for my various moods and needs. Years ago when I was still an unhappy DoorMat I lived on Long Island, outside of NYC. At least once or twice a week I?d ride my bike the 20 miles to Jones Beach and back. My only companion during those rides was my little cassette player.Part of my route was along the water. No matter how unhappy I was, I lapsed into j...
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I Insist You Understand!
2008-01-19 01:05:00
I got a large response for my post that addressed how compassion can help you temper the buckets of anger we often have when someone does us wrong. It?s a great anger-buster! But developing it also manifests many more blessings. It also helps you to be tolerant of others. As I said earlier, compassion allows you to deal with someone by understanding and acknowledging the person is hurting him or herself more. Situations that create anger are usually very emotional. But compassion can also serve you well in situations that make you frustrated or at times when someone you care about is doing annoying things you don?t understand. Developing it can help you refrain from being judgmental about what someone is saying or doing or asking. Have you ever tried to get someone to see your way and they just don?t? Do you try again and again to no avail? You KNOW you?re being clear, yet you also know the person isn?t getting it. That can be very frustrating. Often the problem is someone?s inabili...
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What?s the Worst that Can Happen? No, Really, the Worst!
2008-01-16 19:57:00
I have a terrific guest blogger today?Laura Vanderkam, a New York-based writer and author of Grindhopping: Build a Rewarding Career without Paying Your Dues (McGraw-Hill, 2007) Grindhopping details alternatives routes if you don?t want to stay in a job you don?t like, that doesn?t pay well and keeps you working too many hours. Whether it?s freelancing, starting your own biz, consulting, etc., the book details how to blaze a trail to achieving a way to earn a living that you find rewarding and that adds to, not depletes your happiness.I?ve written about earning a living doing what you love in previous posts. Often the hardest part is figuring out what to do. Deciding What Do You Really Want? begins your path. Then you must begin the process of Finding Your Passions. Can You Really Live By the Grace of Passion? YES you CAN! There are enough successful Grindhoppers who prove it?s possible. Laura interviewed some of them.Grindhopping gives you many details and examples of how to do that...

I Spent a WHOLE Weekend WITHOUT My Laptop
2008-01-15 17:28:00
I never thought it would happen. I check email several times a day, 7 days a week. I also write for at least some portion of every day because I love to write. My laptop goes everywhere with me. It?s like my baby. ? My eyes don?t know what it?s like to get a rest from the computer screen. Until now!I went away for the weekend and left my laptop home! I didn?t plan to. Bringing it almost everywhere is automatic. But, for months my electronic companion has made funny noises and I didn?t know why. I brought it to the Apple genius bar in the summer. The guy recommended I leave it for a diagnostic check. Said it would take 2-3 days and would check for any problem. But how could I be without my laptop for even one day!!? So I waited and got more aggravated with the odd noises. Since I was going away over the weekend for some R & R, I decided to bite the bullet and leave my laptop with Apple. For weeks I stressed about it?like I?d be leaving an arm behind. My lap is part of me in many ways...
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Let?s Be Happily Naked! Part Trois
2008-01-11 20:24:00
Watching How to Look Good Naked got my brain humming more than usual. It?s so easy to tell someone to lighten up on their body issues. But it?s an uphill battle against all of the factors that reinforce feeling like your body isn?t good enough. I?ve had clients moan about how fat they are in their size 2, 4 or 6 bodies, while I sit there saying, ?excuse me but if you call yourself fat, then I must be a huge blimp in your eyes.? They always seem horrified that I?d think they see me that way, since they do see me as the beautiful, sexy woman I am! Yet they?re so hard on their view of themselves. I believe them. Many of us see ourselves in a distorted mirror that magnifies every bit of excess skin, pound, or cellulite dimple. When I was a DoorMat I had a big distorted mirror that highlighted every bit of cellulite and other imperfections. And it minimized the wonderful things about me. Fat! Fat! Fat! That?s what those mirror radiate. So I know that since these clients don?t see me in t...
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Let?s Be Happily Naked! Part Deux
2008-01-10 01:47:00
Many folks are obsessed with weight?their own and other people?s. I do believe that the ones?who point out extra pounds, or who are out and out critical, or who always notice if you?re body looks good or you?ve gained an ounce, are those who have issues with their own bodies. Since they?re so self-conscious about their own bodies, they also pay more attention to everyone else?s. When I was growing up, few cared about my dreams and goals for the future. But, it felt like everyone noticed what I ate. There I?d be on a visit with family, enjoying my meal?until I reached for more potatoes or another cookie. Then, it felt like the room stopped and all eyes were on me. I was questioned about whether I really needed it. Sure I did, at seven years old, when I didn?t quite understand why there was so much fuss. Someone always explained, ?If you eat too much you?ll get too fat to attract a husband.?I didn?t understand why a cookie would make a difference, nor was I concerned about finding a h...
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Let?s Be Happily Naked! Part Un
2008-01-07 23:47:00
Three cheers for the TV show, How to Look Good Naked with Carson Kressley on the Lifetime Network! Carson is illustrating what I?ve been saying in my books for years?whehttp://www.blogger.com/img/gl.li nk.gifn you change your self-perception, you can become more beautiful and improve your body image. I joke that my body got MUCH better as I left DoorMatville?without losing a pound! ? When I was a DoorMat I hated myself for not being perfectly thin. Since we often go to extremes, anything that wasn?t thin was fat. I was tall for my age when I was young, and that translated into feeling fat. When I look back on photos of me during those years, I?m amazed at how slender I was. But, it set a tone for me to always feel like I wasn?t good enough. No matter what other nice things there were about me, I never noticed, because I had cellulite blindness?my fat perception was all I saw in the mirror. When you feel like you aren?t good enough, you can become a People Pleaser to make up for it li...
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Trading Anger for Joy with Compassion
2008-01-04 04:05:00
Albert at Urban Monk invited me to participate in a writing group project about compassion called Spread the Love NOW! created by The Three Monks---Albert at Urban Monk, Wade of The Middle Way, and Kenton of Zen-Inspired Self Development. I love to write about compassion! I?ve found it to be the lubricant for a happy life. Instead of my road being rough with anger and frustration, being compassionate makes the way smoother.I used to be an angry girl. Whenever someone did me wrong?grrrrrrrr! I complained to anyone who?d listen about what people had done to me. The anger kept me fuming instead of smiling. I saw some people in my life as bad, which in turn, attracted more people to complain about. Then I read a book by the Dalai Lama. It blew me away because his philosophy about compassion made so much sense.When I read the book I was feeling anger and frustration toward Mike (not his real name!), a guy I?d been dating. We were friends for months before we crossed the line to more than...
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One Man?s Miracle
2008-01-02 18:22:00
Happy New Year to you all! I entered 2008 feeling positive and expecting GREAT things that I KNOW I will get! For my first post of 2008, I have a guest. David M. Bailey is no ordinary one. I got to know David when I interviewed him for a book in 2002. His story inspired me. While I interviewed him as a musician, he is so much more?a troubadour who travels the country spreading hope and faith. You see, David was given no more than 6 months to live when he was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor.That was in 1996! Every July I?m delighted to get his email celebrating another year of proving the docs wrong!David pursued his music passion in college, playing extensively in an original acoustic duo, but after graduation, traded his guitar for corporate America. After being told he was going to die, David left his corporate job and returned to his first love?songwriting and performing. Since then, he has cranked out one CD after another, sharing his hope and music with many thousands of...
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New Year?s Eve Blessings
2007-12-31 21:13:00
I?m still immersed in my last minute New Year ?s cleaning. But I?m also excited for tonight. I love to start the new year well and I will have a special entrance into 2008. Confession: I?ll be home solo tonight! Confession: I?m VERY HAPPY that I?ll be home solo tonight!Women often feel they need to have a date, no matter what or who. Some feel embarrassed to have no plans. Not me! I love me and enjoy spending solo time. It?s a joy, not a sentence.Confession: A guy I just began dating asked what I?m doing tonight. I said I have a date with me! ? And I do.Years ago, I was stood up by a guy I was mad for on New Year?s Eve. Long story. I was devastated. The following year, a friend told me her mom always said that the way you enter the new year sets a tone for the rest of your year. She pushed me to go out partying with her and a group of her friends. But I decided if what her mom said was true, I wanted to enter the new year peacefully. So I stayed home with some Chinese food and my fav...
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Carnival of Healing #118
2007-12-29 02:50:00
Welcome to the Carnival of Heal ing #118I?m absolutely delighted to be hosting the last for 2007. The Carnival is a weekly round-up of personal blog posts on the topics of holistic health, wellness, spirituality, and self-empowerment. It?s coordinated by About.com's Guide to Holistic Healing, Phylameana Iila Desy.Last week's Carnival of Healing was kindly hosted by The Reiki Digest and next week it will be hosted by Intensive Care for the Nurturer's Soul. It?s my first time hosting a blog Carnival! I consider this one important because it has many wonderful articles with constructive suggestions you can take with you into 2008. People often make New Year?s resolutions but lose their resolve fast when they?re not prepared to make lifestyle changes. Last week I addressed why new year's resolutions can hurt you. There are many articles in this Carnival that can help you make the lifestyle changes that can help make resolutions that stick.In the spirit of making New Year?s resolutio...

Why New Year Resolutions Can Hurt You
2007-12-27 17:42:00
New Year ?s eve is a time that many of us make resolutions?often grand ones. I used to do it too. It feels SOOOOOOOO good to make them. Oh yes, THIS is the year of change for the better. Some extra wine on New Year?s eve magnified my intentions for the next year. ? I shared them with friends and even wrote them down. Seems everyone around me had high hopes for the new year. We promise to: * Lose weight/get into better shape. This is the big one. I know of few people who don?t want to lose weight. Even skinny minnies feel they have some bit of fat to lose. Even people in shape want to get into better shape. Gyms LOVE the lose-weight/get into better shape resolutions because in January they get bombarded with people signing up. By February, gyms stop being crowded as the resolve dissipates. * Stop smoking or drinking. This resolution takes a plan. Just because the calendar reads 2008, nothing will change unless you do something about it. Smoking/drinking takes more than a resolution t...
More About: New Year , Hurt , Resolutions , Resolution