Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

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Manhattan is Da Bomb around Christmas
2007-12-25 18:46:00
I?ve spent Christmas in Florida and California. I see it in other places on TV. But nothing?literally NOTHING?can compare to my city at holiday time. When friends from out of town visit during this time of year, I love to take them walking and exclaim, ?Look how beautifully my neighborhood dresses up for the holidays!?Rows of trees with twinkly lights line the streets. Garlands, bells and other pretty decorations are strung above our heads on many avenues. I?m sure many other neighborhoods are gorgeous too. But mine is the most festive. And then there?s the tree at Rockefeller Center, which I can just walk over to whenever I want. That?s part of my neighborhood too! Going outside from Thanksgiving to New Years puts me in a particularly grand mood. I included a few pics to show you why I love New York at Christmastime. I took them at night in the rain so they're not as clear as the real view. But I love how the lights twinkle in the dark of night. I posted my Rockefeller Center tree...
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Merry Spirit!
2007-12-24 17:31:00
Whether you celebrate Christmas or not, enjoy the season! People are in better moods around this time and more conscious of the spirit of giving. That?s great to experience, no matter what your religious beliefs. Besides the religious aspects, there are many things to celebrate this week, no matter what your religion, or lack of one. Pay attention to these great perks of the holiday season: * We?re surrounded by sparkly pretty decorations. I love walking around during Christmas. The shops and some houses are all dressed up. That puts my in a better mood. Just today I heard a TV newscaster say how much he enjoys going to work because of all the gorgeous decorations. New York City truly dresses up in grandeur. It always puts I smile on my face, even in the rain. * Great sales in most stores. Nowadays, the sales start well before Christmas. Since stores tend to get crowded, I go shopping for the big markdowns right after the holiday. I don?t make a list for Santa. Mine is to take with...
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Dancing Through the Holiday Season
2007-12-21 22:10:00
I was recently interviewed for First Wives World by its founder, Debbie Nigro. The topic was 5 Ways to Stay Positive During the Holiday s. My first suggestion? Why worry about staying positive when the holidays are fun!?! So, dance through them, even if you don?t have a romantic partner.We often use a romantic partner as a barometer for whether or not we?re happy or having fun. That?s so self-defeating! If you?ve recently divorced or broken up with a partner, you might be feeling down. So start dancing! It?s YOUR life. Why ruin it with what ifs or anger toward your ex? The first New Years eve after my divorce, a friend I was supposed to have dinner with called to say she?d gathered some articles about how rotten men could be so we could spend the night male bashing. She thought that would make me happy!Why on earth think that a negative discussion could bring joy?? Yet so many folks indulge in stoking anger instead of getting rid of it. I told my friend to leave the articles, or hers...
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The 5 Myths of Positive Mental Attitude
2007-12-20 19:47:00
People sometimes tease me for my super positive attitude. I get bah-humbugs when I try to encourage certain folks and find it soooooooooo sad, since they are choosing to be unhappy. I truly don?t get it but I guess some folks have had bad times and can?t get past them to wrap their heads around a more positive expectation. Or they may be afraid to feel hopeful, and get let down again. Many have negative notions about having a positive attitude.I?m delighted to have Tina Su, who writes the blog, Think Simple Now, back as my guest blogger. She posted The 5 Myths of Positive Mental Attitude and I found her response to them to be very enlightening. So I asked if I could excerpt some of it. You can read the whole thing on her site. She certainly has some great arguments for why calling positive people cheesy is full of holes!The 5 Myths of Positive Mental Attitude I frequently get asked about positive thinking, and I wanted to first clear up some points of confusion.With so many myths ab...

Clean Your Way to an Abundant New Year!
2007-12-19 01:12:00
Cleaning is my favorite tool because it?s do-able! Eliminating clutter gives you more room for new stuff. Cleaning is an easy, therapeutic way to improve life. I used to be a terrible clutter-holic. When I didn?t respect myself, I didn?t respect my possessions or living space. Now that I do, I enjoy cleaning and clearing things out. It brings great rewards!I?m in the middle of my yearly purge. It?s amazing how great it feels after so many years of hording every possession I ever owned. For the last many years, I have a ritual in December. I make time each day to go through at least one drawer, cabinet, section of a closet, etc. By New Year s eve I?ve covered every inch of everything I live with. When I first began, there were many things I never noticed and continued allowing them to reside with me. I call them fixtures?the things that we?re so used to seeing that they become part of the landscape. It?s harder to get rid of those, since we?ve accepted their presence and often don?t r...
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Finding Blessings Amidst Unhappiness
2007-12-18 02:16:00
Often we look at a negative situation as a whole, instead of paying attention to its parts and trying to find the blessings they can become. Nowadays my strong spirituality helps me to know that everything happens for a reason. Since I left DoorMatville, I try to look for the blessings in all circumstances.Life isn?t just in extremes?black or white?happy or unhappy?good or bad. It consists of many hues. When you let bad circumstances cloud stuff that could be good, you lose out on potential joy. You also can forget to be grateful for what?s good and develop a general sense of bitterness. That sells your joy short! And, it keeps you from recognizing all your blessings. Remember, feeling gratitude is a large component of attracting goodies. Why deprive yourself of all you could enjoy?Becoming conscious of all the little things that are still blessings allows you to open yourself up for a lot more! Plus, it feels better to be happy about something than being an overall grump!I?ve talke...
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Attracting Money With a ?Where? Instead of IF
2007-12-14 02:34:00
I?m a freelancer. No salary or benefits. According to people who see how I live, no security. But, I feel very secure because my spiritual mindset is strong. The Law of Attractions supports my thoughts and brings me whatever I need, because I expect it to come!http://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.g ifI hear people concerned about money: * ?I?ll get a new car IF I can come up with the money.? * ?IF I don?t get a raise, I?ll have to move.? * ?Daylle, what will you do IF you don?t get enough work this month??The common denominator in the above is IF. Because I expect to always have enough for what I need, I wonder where my money will come from, not IF I?ll get it. This makes a profound difference in what I attract. Fear and tentative expectations show a lack of faith. And a lack of faith doesn?t support you in getting what you want! I?ve been talking about changing habits. Break the habit of thinking in terms of ?IF I have the money.? Think with expectation about where it can come from. I...
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You Are What You Eat
2007-12-12 22:22:00
Carol Ekarius is a freelance writer who lives in the mountains of Colorado with her husband, Ken. They live off the grid, raise animals, and have a large, organic garden. Carol has become an advocate for spreading awarenes about how chemicals are impacting our health. She writes on a variety of topics related to her lifestyle and helping the environment, including her blog, Toxic Burden. I?m delighted to have her as a guest blogger today to share how she makes an effort to avoid toxins in her food.You Are What You EatBy Carol EkariusIf health is like a three-legged stool, with environmental exposures, lifestyle, and genes representing the legs, then food is the seat, overlapping all three legs. So, food seems like an important topic to cover here. Ken and I prioritize the food choices we make in this order: Our first choice is to grow a fair amount ourselves, organically. Due to where-and-how we live, this isn?t as abundant a portion of our food supply as it once was: when we farmed...

Jennifer Love Hewitt CHOOSES to NOT Be Fat!
2007-12-11 01:59:00
You may have heard that Jennifer Love Hewitt was vacationing with her boyfriend and the paparazzi nailed her in a swimsuit. It was all over the news, much like the pics of Tyra Banks in a swimsuit a while back. They took unflattering close-ups of body parts that weren?t perfect. Bloggers had a field day calling Jennifer fat. Yet she?s a size 4! HELLO!For you guys who question why women are so insecure about their bodies, listen up! There are good reasons why many of us are self-conscious about our imperfections.If someone who wears a size 4 gets ridiculed for being fat, how does that make the rest of us women feel!!? Pretty lousy to a woman who isn?t secure to begin with. Me, my self-love is too strong now to let it rattle my over size 4 butt. But too many women suffer the residuals of these absurd digs at imperfect, AKA normal bodies! I trust that the karma these folks give out will come back to hit them in their big fat sorry butts. THE BAD NEWSPerfection is impossible. Some, and ...
More About: Jamie Lee Curtis

Making Christmas Brighter for Our Troops
2007-12-08 01:51:00
?Tis the season to be jolly! Yet many of our military personnel are living in awful conditions on behalf of our country. I talked about the importance of gratitude last month. I?ve experienced the blessings of giving back, many times over. Here?s an opportunity to support the men and women who far from home during the holidays. It doesn?t matter whether you support the war. The people in our military are following orders to support our country and should be honored and appreciated! To that end, I wanted to let you know about an organization that?s doing great things to make things a bit brighter for those that might not have a happy holiday. YOU can help! There are many organizations sending car packages overseas to people in the military. One that I like is called Operation Gratitude. Operation Gratitude is a California- based 501 (c) (3) non-profit, all-volunteer organization that sends care packages of snacks, entertainment items and personal letters of appreciation addressed to...
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Creating Better Habits Challenge
2007-12-05 04:08:00
I consider most of what keeps us from being as self-empowered as possible?bad habits. Many develop while growing up but can happen any time you do something over and over until it becomes automatic. When I decided to stop being a DoorMat, I worked on breaking the habits that hurt my self-image. Breaking habits feels more manageable than a psychological makeover. It can be applied to ANY area of your life, work or play.Aristotle said, ?We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.? You CAN create better habits in ALL arenas of your life! And use them to achieve excellence!Break one habit at a time. I broke those that reinforced seeing myself in a poor light and treating myself worse than I did others. Once you begin to break habits that aren?t for your good, you can then create new, healthier ones. I used to think being a DoorMat was my destiny. It felt hopeless. Striving to become someone I wasn?t seemed too daunting?until I began to identify my DoorMat...
More About: Habits , Creating , Challenge , Halle , Habit

?I?m Not an Idiot, I?m Silly.?
2007-12-03 17:32:00
Many self-help books and speakers encourage becoming your own best friend. It sounds good but it?s harder to implement. When I was a DoorMat, I kissed up to everyone but couldn?t figure out how to be a friend to me. My focus was on pleasing others. Be my own best friend? It sounded like a theory I couldn?t practice. When you?re brought up to be a people pleaser like I was, it?s easy to lose consciousness of how YOU treat YOU.The good news: You can raise your consciousness, one baby step at a time and truly become the friend you deserve?by replacing old habits with more loving ones! When you pay attention to how you treat and regard yourself, you can identify the habits that aren?t friendly to you and replace them with more loving ones. I always treated my friends lovingly. But the courtesy I gave them didn?t extend to me in the days when I was too busy catering to everyone else?s needs. Nor did I respect my needs or stop the hurtful situations I attracted. That certainly wasn?t bei...
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Finding Your Passions
2007-11-30 06:24:00
Last week I wrote an Can You Really Live by the Grace of Passion? I said that I?d post more specific tips for finding your passions, so here they are as promised. I use the plural of passion since like me, you can have many. Finding your passion is not about just one thing. It can expand and change and multiply as you see how lovely it is to do the things that bring you joy!As I said last week, I never wanted to teach. Yet I continued to do it for a while as I searched for ways to follow my passions. I also worked on getting as far from DoorMatville as possible. It took time. I tried new things while I still had a steady income. I saved money when I could. Networking opened some doors. My strong faith opened more.When I finally felt strong enough, I burned the renewal form for my teaching license and with it, my security blanket. And, I swore I?d never do anything for money that I didn?t love. That was 13 years ago. Thirteen GLORIOUS years ago! The timing was interesting too. A few ...

Letter To Britney Spears
2007-11-28 23:31:00
I?ve written about Brit before. One keeps hearing about how low she keeps sinking. People reach out to her. And now, her dirty family laundry is being aired, giving obvious clues about why Brit keeps taking the low road. So what?s a pop princess to do?I?ve always said I have compassion for Britney Spears . Now that her childhood traumas have been exposed, I have even more. Her father was an alcoholic. She was her parent?s ticket out of poverty. What I've read is quite dysfunctional. Her mom is said to have taken her to bars and shared glasses of wine before Brit was eighteen. It?s easy to tell someone to live for right now. But Brit jumped from child to adult world. She missed adolescence and growing pains that normal girls have. Now she?s suffering from the pain of being an adult in great distress. My friend Joy Rose is founder of Mamapalooza, an entertainment and lifestyle community for moms. As a mom and lead singer for Housewives on Prozac, Joy has a strong focus on musicians an...
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Is John Fitzgerald Page The Worst Person In The World?
2007-11-27 20:19:00
According to Gawker, John Fitzgerald Page is the worst person in the world. Why? Because he wrote some mean, arrogant things to a woman who winked at him on Match.com. His email response extolled how wonderful he is and sounded more like a resume than a friendly note. After reading the email he sent she sent him a polite note saying she felt they weren?t match. Page made a point of asking her about her body and indicated he assumed she?s not in good shape because she only had headshots with her profile. When she turned him down, he hurled even more nasty assumptions at her. Since his ego is inflated more than a balloon in the Macy?s Thanksgiving parade, John was angry because he believed that she had no right to turn his sorry butt down. After all, he went to good schools, did impressive things, and was a great catch, right?Wrong! People who think they?re better than most, are the worst candidates for a relationship. They may look good and have money but a jumbo ego is toxic. It cre...
More About: World , The World , Person

I Pigged Out and It?s FINE!
2007-11-27 05:33:00
I?ve been taking control of my body and lowering my cholesterol without meds. I do my best to eat healthy. But, when I spent a few days at my sister?s home in the Berkshire Mountains, I ate whatever I wanted. I mean serious piggy time. Double my portions. Cheese, which I love, but don?t eat often, and LOTS of dessert! This kind of eating can instill tremendous guilt. But, not for me!I also admit that I brought some leftovers home with me. The turkey and other good but healthier food went into the freezer. The pies?they remained handy. The next day I made like a turkey and gobble?gobble?gobbled! Pumpkin pie for lunch. Blueberry pie for breakfast. Stomach ache for dinner. Yet all the while I knew it was okay because I didn?t bring home unlimited quantities and once it was eaten, there would be no more.Now that I?ve finished the treats, I?m being careful to balance that over-eating with lots of veggies and no unhealthy fats for a bit. And running every day!Too many people ruin their pl...
More About: Fine

Happy Turkey Day!
2007-11-22 17:24:00
I?ll be away for the long weekend and won?t be posting again till next week. I wanted to wish everyone a wonderful Thanksgiving, and the hope that you?ll find LOTS of things to be thankful for!Why I?m Grateful (just a few of the gassillion things I could list if I had more more time)My health is terrific!I earn a living doing what I love.I have a fabulous sunny, spacious, quiet, rent stabilized apartment in midtown Manhattan.I still feel 21.I?m happy with who I am and how I look.My self-confidence is soaring.I get up every day smiling. I have wonderful friends and family.I?m getting into better shape as I get older.I?m writing this looking out at beautiful forest and mountains in the Berkshires.I?m not a DoorMat anymore!!!Enjoy your holiday dinner and don?t get guilty if you indulge. It takes the pleasure out of an occasional splurge. I?m delighted to share a yummy meal with my family and will enjoy it all guilt free. We have almost as many pies as people! But, I know better than to...
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Developing Conscious Gratitude
2007-11-20 23:36:00
With Thanksgiving coming up, I had to join all the other bloggers who are writing about gratitude. I?m always blown away by the extent to which having gratitude attracts more goodies. While it?s good to give thanks on the holiday, you shouldn?t limit it to one day. Holidays are a nice reminder, but don?t save it all up for Thursday! Learn how to manifest more and feel truly good from develop a conscious feeling of gratitude.Feeling gratitude for what you have attracts more to be grateful for. Gratitude is like fuel for the Law of Attraction!It?s in all my books. But no matter how strong faith is, it?s easy to forget to be grateful, or to do it by rote, instead of with your heart. I look up many times a day and say thanks for small things that go right--getting somewhere faster than usual, connecting with someone important, a beautiful day, a headache leaving, etc. The more I appreciate, the better life gets. I also say ?thank you? in advance of what I want in order to reinforce my e...

Can You Really Live by the Grace of Passion?
2007-11-20 00:39:00
Can You Really Live by the Grace of Passion ?Absolutely YES! I read a post last week at Tom Volkar?s blog, Delightful Work, called Work as Play? It opened with the question, ?Have you yet found work that is so delightful that you?d do it for free?? Like me, Tom is his own boss. Also like me, he loves and values the total freedom of self-determination. Then he confessed that there?s nothing he currently does that he?d do for free. But being your own boss is definitely a blessing in itself. It can allow for passions in other areas. I commented that I?m someone who found her passion and only do what I love. I rarely meet people who feel the way about their work as I do about mine and know how hard it is to be in this place of satisfaction. A majority of people just work for the money. I heard two guys chatting while we all waited on line in the bank. When asked how he was, the first said, ?you know, eating, sleeping and working?the great American dream?hal ha!? The other nodded in agree...
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Learning How to Be Happier
2007-11-16 03:12:00
Happiness seems like such a simple concept, yet so many folks walk around unhappy. We often lose sight of what it actually is. When I was a DoorMat, happiness meant having a good day, not getting hurt, getting attention from someone I thought I needed, or being with a guy I liked and feeling complete for the moment. But that wasn?t real happiness! It was moments of not being unhappy. Who?d have thunk that there would be a need for a whole course on happiness? Many of us need to be taught how to achieve it! Tal Ben-Shahar, Ph.D teaches the largest course at Harvard University on "Positive Psychology" and the third largest on "The Psychology of Leadership."? Tal consults and lectures around the world to executives in multi-national corporations, the general public, and at-risk populations about happiness, self-esteem, resilience, goal setting, mindfulness, and leadership. His new book is called Happier . It?s an excellent course in happiness! Below is a sample.Fifth Meditation: Imagine...
More About: Learning , Earning

Is Fat Contagious??
2007-11-14 23:14:00
Last night on Boston Legal (one of my favorite shows!), Denny Crane got sued by a lawyer who he fired for being fat. Every time he nonchalantly referred to her as FAT, I cringed. This sweet but pudgy character didn?t flinch at hurling insult after insult as facts that gave him license to be verbally abusive. The fat insulting the fatter! Many people have no conscience about attacking the dignity of those who are overweight! Boston Legal is a TV show?fiction?but it illustrates the attitudes that some people can have. Denny chucked fat statements at the overweight lawyer, as she said, ?ka-ching, ka-ching.? She and her lawyer sued him, expecting a big settlement. After all, firing someone for being fat is discrimination, right? Wrong! The Denny Crane character got off the hook by using the excuse that he didn?t want to catch her fat. Outrageous!?!? YES! He argued that fat is contagious and he felt it harmful to let her be in his law firm. You might think that the writers took license w...

Health Empowerment?Beating My High Cholesterol and Thyroid
2007-11-14 04:43:00
For the first time I can remember, I?m excited that my doctor found a problem. Normally I want a clean bill of health. But, in this case, I knew something was wrong and wanted it treated. So I?m happy that I found a doc who took me seriously!I?ve known for a long time that my thyroid was sluggish. But, that?s considered a fat girl?s excuse for not being thinner. So I was ignored.Not that I?m fat. But I could lose a few and my docs acted like I must be hoarding food if I didn?t lose weight. It?s frustrating to believe that you have a health problem, yet no one will address it. Over the years, friends from out of town who?d visit would consistently ask why I wasn?t anorexic thin, considering my level of exercise, athletic prowess, and reasonably healthy diet. I wondered too. I happen to love veggies and while I?m not a vegetarian, I consider myself a veggie-holic. I?ve always limited fat and red meat. Yet it felt almost impossible to lose weight and just a treat could make me gain a p...
More About: Health , Empowerment , High , Cholesterol , High Cholesterol

Being the CEO of Your Personal Corporation
2007-11-09 21:20:00
I got a nice response to Monday?s post about monitoring your thoughts to make life more positive. I want to expand on that subject, to give you more consciousness about how to change your thoughts in ways that benefit you. When YOU take responsibility for your thoughts and how they influence your life, YOU give yourself the power to have more positive experiences.If someone says you can?t so something, do you automatically assume you can?t? That?s how YOU hold yourself back! In my DoorMat days, everyone but me ruled my thoughts. The media told me I was fat, though I wasn?t. But I felt fat. I was told that I couldn?t have a career in business and became a teacher, which I never wanted. Because I followed the limitations others gave me, I was rarely happy. As my self-esteem slowly left the toilet, I learned to refute the thoughts that hurt me. Instead of acquiescence, I challenged what others said.Life got better when I began to manage my thoughts. Limitations melted away as I turned ...
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Interview with Louise L. Hay
2007-11-08 00:06:00
On Monday I talked about how you can turn your life around by just changing a thought. I learned this from Louise L. Hay’s book, You Can Heal Your Life. This book was my catalyst for reinventing me into the very happy and productive chick I am today. When I told her that I owed the rest of my life to her, she just laughed and said she can’t take credit since she didn’t invent the things she wrote about, just wrote about how the Universe can work for you. I disagree. It was the way she presented the Law of Attraction that resonated with me. I took her tools and ran with them. My consciousness increased a million-fold as I read the book. Now I monitor my thoughts to make sure I put out only ones that manifest goodies or that won't attract negatives. Some of you emailed for info about Ms. Hay. So I’m reprinting the interview I did with her. Louise Hay is a lecturer, metaphysical teacher, and best selling author. She advocates loving yourself, which helps you get more of what ...
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?You?re Cute? is NOT Sexual Harassment!
2007-11-06 22:16:00
On The View this past Friday, Whoopi led the ladies in a discussion about a woman who was suing for sexual harassment after being told she looked cute. The alleged harasser didn?t touch this woman or make a sexual advance. She was obviously offended by receiving a compliment. But, is this really grounds for a sexual harassment lawsuit? I don?t think so!I don?t know how the guy said it. Was saliva dripping in his words? I?d guess not. Was he eying her up and down? Perhaps. But I think that the term sexual harassment needs a makeover. Women need to be taught boundaries on when it is or isn?t appropriate to label an action that way. It can hurt the man being accused, whether he?s guilty or not. That?s not fair to the guy!Women have come far on many levels. Laws have been passed to protect our equal rights and safety. But, using them indiscriminately by screaming ?sexual harassment!? whenever a guy says or does something that rubs the wrong way sets women?s empowerment back by a heck of...
More About: Cute , Sexual , Sexual Harassment , Harassment

Turning a Negative to Positive with Just a Thought
2007-11-05 17:30:00
Chris at www.soupornuts.com tagged me to participate in the Think Different Challenge created by Peter from I Will Change Your Life.com. This is all about finding something in your life you currently have negative thoughts or feelings toward and deciding to look at it differently. I include suggestions on changing thoughts in all of my writing because it?s such a powerful tool. When I was a DoorMat, my glass was always half empty. My overall perception of life was negative. No matter what was going on, I?d find a way to allow it to bring me down much more than necessary. Then I read Louise Hay?s You Can Heal Your Life. And it didn?t just heal my life?it gave me a positive one!Ms. Hay says, ?If you can change the way you think, you can change your life.?I?ve met her 3 times since I embraced the lessons of her book and interviewed her for an article. Since then, I see my life as a series of blessings and it helps me reap the benefits of the Law of Attraction. I now think before I thin...
More About: Thought , Positive , Negative

6 Ways to be Positive in Any Situation
2007-10-31 20:34:00
Life can seem negative if you see yourself as a victim the way many DoorMats do. When I was one, I waited for the next bad thing to happen, and my attitude attracted more bad stuff. When you don?t feel good about your life, the glass tends to be half empty instead of half full. But you can train yourself to have a more positive outlook. That attracts more positives to your world. Today?s guest blogger, Tina Su, has let me reprint a post from her empowering blog, Think Simple. Be Decisive, with suggestions on how to stay positive when you?re habit is to go negative. Having a more positive mindset makes life sweeter! 6 Ways to be Positive in Any Situation by Tina SuThe power of remaining positive, whatever the situation, can never be underestimated. We are all here for a limited period of time, is it worth it to spend any of that time in a dismal mood? Being negative?The true test of an individual to remain positive is when challenges become difficult. Remaining positive keeps one?s mi...

Am I a Cougar or a Kitten?
2007-10-30 17:02:00
The cat name I can claim depends on the guy I date. If he?s younger than me, I?m a cougar, according to the latest pop culture labels. And if he?s older, I?m a kitten. A woman becomes different versions of a cat, just by the age of a guy she?s dating. It doesn?t matter who you are or how you look and feel. So I can be a cougar this week if I find a boy toy and a kitten next week by dating an old coot. Lucky me (she says with sarcasm)!The reality show Age of Love brought the age terms onto mainstream TV. A 30 year old guy met 10 women in their twenties labeled the kittens because they were younger than the bachelor. And there were 10 women over 40, labeled cougars?because they were older than him. This bachelor got to choose between them like a little boy tasting candy in a store and then selecting the one to eat. Now there?s an E! show called Hottest Hollywood Cougar Tales. Women who were with younger guys were discussed as women on the make for boy toys, looking for a good looking ...
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Being Ruthless Eventually Gets You Screwed
2007-10-29 20:20:00
You may not have succeeded in everything you want yet. There might not be a romantic partner in your life. Money might be a little tight. But as long as you have integrity, consider yourself a success!Many people get ahead by being cutthroat. Others say what people want to hear to get more. People screw friends in order to steal their romantic partner. And still others sell a false bill of goods for personal gain. They might seem like they won, or benefited from their ruthless ways. But ultimately, they?re the losers. People around them know what they?re like. And eventually, it will come back to haunt them since what goes around really does come around. DoorMats are on the other side of the spectrum. They screw themselves in the name of being nice. That?s not having integrity either!I constantly hurt myself when I lived in DoorMatville! I?d cancel plans to help someone. Nice! Nice! Nice! I was always seeking a path to be nice by doing whatever people wanted, except for what I wante...
More About: Screwed , Ruthless , Ruth

Giving Permission with Silence
2007-10-26 20:56:00
Since this week I?ve been encouraging you to be true to what you really want, I?ll end the week with this thought. People continue to do what they get away with. If you don?t tell them that something is unacceptable, your silence gives them permission to continue doing it.Do you complain to friends about job inequities but continue to work hard? Do you let your partner control your relationship by buying into the belief that you need one to be complete? Or that you?d feel like a failure if it didn?t work out? Do you brood in silence, rather than risk losing someone who does you wrong?When I was a DoorMat, I let people take me for granted and shut my mouth when those I'd helped over and over ignored my needs. I laughed off disrespect and closed my eyes to poor treatment. My inability to communicate anger gave people the unspoken right to continue bad behavior. If you don?t voice dissatisfaction, how can you get satisfied? Silence says you won?t make a fuss. And while a fuss isn?t ne...
More About: Giving , Permission , Missi