The Clumsy NinjaThe Clumsy NinjaBe witness to my quirky observations, irony, some hypocrisy, and me coming into my own. Articles
Music + scantily-clad girls + awesome concept = *jaw drop*
2007-12-10 03:27:00 This is awesome!Update: And so is this! More About: Music , Girls , Awesome , Concept , Drop
Virgo through and through
2007-12-09 21:08:00 I somehow stumbled upon this. It's an almost perfect description of me. Yes, I'm a virgo.Now, I don't live my life according to horoscopes or anything, but I've always been interested in what others call "new age crap." I don't think it's crap. I think it's fascinating, though perhaps also just highly coincidental.Oh wait, who am I kidding? I'll swear up and down to anyone that asks that I'm psychic. I'm convinced of it. Perhaps I'm just naturally intuitive, I don't know.I don't care if you believe me either. I have seen a ghost: the ghost of a girl named Emily shares our house with us and of everyone that has lived here (myself, my mother, two sisters, and stepdad), my stepdad is the only one who hasn't seen her. My aunt claims she has but she didn't describe her quite right, so I'm not going to count her.I'm no paranormal freak; in fact, I'm a natural skeptic. But... Too many strange things happen around here. So, I have a natural curiosity for the s... More About: Virgo
Pimp's momma
2007-12-09 20:30:00 My mom went "out" last night and I, unfortunately, yet again, ARGH, didn't have "fun" plans. I didn't want to stay home and be all sad and mopey and lonely so I went to stay at my stepdad's house with Holly, Haley, and Butthead (aka Lauren, Holly's bud).This was the first time I've stayed over at his new house since my parents' separation. I think I'm going to try to start doing it more. He still acts like he wants a family. My mother, upon getting her new fake boobs, has decided that she is tired of being tied down. So she's out half the nights of the week partying with her sister (my would-be aunt but I'm disowning her) and dating random guys.She doesn't think that what she's doing is "dating" or "cheating" but they are legally still married. With a probable divorce case sometime in the future. Evidence of adultery stands up pretty well in divorce suits.Anyway, the other half of the week she may be home but her face is glued to either her cell phone screen or her... More About: Momma
What a depressing thought
2007-12-08 23:21:00 Warning: Downer post full of self-pity. Skip to a different one or else face the ensuing nausea.I just took a depression screening questionnaire and scored about a 95%. I have 95% of the symptoms I was questioned on. Bleh. Like it's even accurate though. I really doubt it. It probably just means that I'm normal. But sometimes I still wonder.I sound more and more like a hypochondriac everyday. I really do think I have at least minor anger management problems. I'd love to see a psychologist, just to have someone objective to talk to who would point me in the right direction and not just mold me for their own nefarious purposes. But I don't know how to go about setting that up. I don't want to have to come clean to my parents. And I don't have the money (or insurance).And the only people I have to talk to don't really listen. They all just tell me to "just deal with it" or "get over it" or tell me that my life isn't that bad and they don't know why I'm even compl... More About: Thought , Depressing
Yum
2007-12-08 22:54:00 I'm making a red velvet cake to distract myself. From a box. But the frosting will be homemade. Cross your fingers that I don't burn down the kitchen.I have a tendency to be accident-prone. Eek.I'm not even sure if I like red velvet cake. I think I do, but I can't really remember. Isn't it just cake that has toxic levels of red food coloring in it? Hmmm... Maybe it will be good and won't poison me.
I'm really starting to hate weekends
2007-12-08 21:04:00 Something always goes wrong on my weekends.M. had a little talk with me a few days ago about how my cynicism might be what is making me unhappy. But without it, I'd be even more disappointed than I already am.I KNEW as soon as I woke up this morning, KNEW without a doubt, that my plans today would get wrecked. Knew it, knew it, knew it.But I kept telling myself, what would an annoying optimist think? So I got everything ready to proceed on with the "plans." And then guess what?Plans broken.Again.But that's not really a big deal. I just get so upset, because I always feel like I'm not as important to everyone else. I feel like I'm just second place.And then today, I learned, straight from the horse's mouth, so to speak, that I am only second place.So now I feel even worse.I'm so screwed up, I constantly make people "prove" themselves to me. And few live up to my expectations. I'm tired of being let down. I'm tired of being angry. And most importantly, I'm tired of ... More About: Hate
The Golden Compass
2007-12-08 16:49:00 That whole controversy is f-ing ridiculous. I haven't seen the movie or read the books but that doesn't really matter.Even if they are some form of atheist brainwashing, the religious sects do crap like that all the time. Freedom of speech, people.I don't really care about seeing the movie because it looks a lot like The Chronicles of Narnia movie, which bored me to sleep. Who knows that C.S. Lewis was a devout Christian and that those books promote an understanding of Christ and the Bible? Well, if they can do that, then we can have a "atheist" or "god-killing" movie too. If it even is promoting an atheist message at all.And also, it's rating PG-13 for crying out loud! It's suitable for teenagers. TEENS. I understand that they're still technically children, but I think most are mature enough to see a movie and not instantly fall into a cult.After all, Harry Potter promotes witchcraft, right? Ugh. Does it promote atheism too? No. All that Harry Potter promotes is r... More About: The Golden Compass , Golden , Compass , Golden Compass
Who likes offensive/funny shirts?
2007-12-08 02:58:00 I do, I do! Don't you? @ Lucky Threadz. Go there now. Do it. More About: Funny , Shirts
And I thought my penguins were tedious
2007-12-08 02:41:00 These put mine to shame! More About: Thought
Cough
2007-12-07 23:56:00 Bleh. I'm sick and I blame Throat-Clearing Girl. Unfairly, probably. Oh well. Ha.I probably just jinxed myself because I was bragging the other day to M. about how I rarely get sick. And now I'm sick. Damn you, irony gods!I've been coughing a little for a couple of days, but this morning I woke up with a horribly sore throat. I've been sipping tea all day. Yum, tea.I got stuck catching up this girl from math (that I really didn't want to talk to right then) this morning when I started coughing. And coughing. And coughing. My eyes started watering and she freaked out. "OH MY GOD, ARE YOU OKAY?!" And I'm like, "Chill out already. Cold on top of allergies. Sheesh." Actually, I didn't say anything. I lost my voice.And that meant that I couldn't talk to her anymore. Yay. =DNot trying to be mean. She just talks a whole lot and I didn't have the time.Still coughing. Bleh. Tired. Headache.To the vitamin C!Update: It just now really sank in that today is Frid... More About: Cough
Home stretch
2007-12-07 22:29:00 I only have to make a 49 on my speech final to keep an A in the class. I have a 96.7 or something like that so far. Yay.Similar situation in science, I think. We got so many replacement grades and such, I think I'm set. Plus, the final counts the same as regular test grades. No big deal.Math--likewise. I've made an A on every other test this semester, so I think I can slack off a little on the final. Again, not trying to toot my own horn or whistle or any other musical instrument... This particular math class covers elementary teaching concepts. So basically, I'm being tested on whether or not I can add, subtract, multiply, and divide. Basic arithmetic.Music Appreciation test is open-notes and only on a few chapters. Cake!Lit. test--I'm exempt! Boo-yah! Though, we are encouraged to take it to try to score a few more GPA points (I have an AWESOME lit. teacher, she'd only count the grade if it helped, not if it hurt). But I probably won't. An A is pretty much an A... More About: Home , Etch , Stretch
One more day
2007-12-07 07:06:00 Tomorrow is my last day of real class. Of course, there are still finals next week, but no big deal... I hope.I still have a speech evaluation to turn in and a lit test to take tomorrow. I think I'm only going to science long enough to get the test guide. Music is canceled tomorrow (our final is only going to cover our most recent material and we finished all the notes Wednesday). I think we're just reviewing in Speech. Then finals:Mon1:00 MathTue8:00 MusicWed1:00 SpeechThu8:00 Science1:00 Lit [Exempt!]It's weird how all my finals rotate from 8:00 to 1:00. Gee, what a waste of gas... Only having one exam per day. Of course, if I had them more frequently, then I would complain about having to study for several tests a day. I just can't be pleased.So after all this, I'm finished with this semester forever! Yay!
Ugh
2007-12-06 06:59:00 I just finished my portfolio-math-project-doodad-thingy.At midnight. Technically, I finished it the day it was due, huh?I used to be obsessed with finishing work early. I'm not sure when that changed, but I somehow became a horrible procrastinator.It's time for sleep. Kristen feels like a zombie. Apparently Kristen also refers to herself in third person when she is really tired. Kristen apologizes for the pointless late-night babbling. Kristen is stopping now.Nighty night.
Secrets and small boobs
2007-12-06 04:50:00 Stopped by PostSecret earlier and found this:That sounds just like me! It even matches my handwriting! I have a twin spirit somewhere in the world.=) More About: Small , Secrets
Bodily function stories are always funny
2007-12-06 04:40:00 That throat-clearing girl grrrhk-ed at me 53 times today. IN ONE CLASS PERIOD.EAT A COUGH DROP!It's pretty pathetic that I'm still keeping tally marks in the margins of my notes. But I really don't know how her tonsils haven't fallen out onto her desk yet. Just cough and get it over with!I just don't get it. It is the most unnatural-sounding bodily function noise I have ever heard. And trust me, growing up with the stepdad I had, I've heard a lot. Funny , nostalgic story coming up...One night a while back, my ex had fallen asleep over here. It was really, really, really late (probably so late it was early) when he finally woke up to leave. Everyone else was already in bed. Well, we were tiptoeing down the upstairs hall, trying to be quiet so we wouldn't wake anyone. Ex was still half-asleep, trudging along with his eyes only half-open. As we got to the stairs, my stepdad, who was asleep in my parents' room, suddenly emitted this shockingly loud burst of gunshot-meets-orchest... More About: Stories , Function
Still not good company
2007-11-15 18:07:00 But I'm back anyway.What happened last night cost a lot. I think they're starting to realize. I can't handle that. I don't know what to do.For once, I wasn't the immediate catalyst. This has been near perfect and now out of nowhere (or so it seems to me), I'm searching for the dull razor blades.Just kidding. I'd use scissors. =(That wasn't a good joke, but sad part is, it's barely a joke at all. I would rather have a person I love leave me completely, but tell me so than have that person refuse to talk to me. I spent most of my morning wondering what would happen if I were to be ironically killed in an automobile/pedestrian incident. I would laugh at my own funeral if I'd be around to (but of course I wouldn't be, that's the whole point of funerals, huh?).Okay, enough of that.I think I'm being a bit dramatic. I realize that most people would find this crazy and I'd be labeled as "emo" for the rest of my life and would have to squander my savings on black hair ... More About: Company , Good
Emo
2007-11-15 06:36:00 I feel terrible. I don't know how I'm going to make it to school tomorrow. I've been so worried about [see posts below]. I called in to the heart monitor company to figure out why I couldn't get it to work and the guy I talked to somehow the recordings that I accidentally made while screwing around with the dumb machine (all it would do was beep incessantly). He got really suspicious and asked me what I had been doing when I made the recordings. I asked him, "What do you mean, what was I doing?" (Because I was obviously messing with the machine--duh.) And he asked in a skeptical voice if I had been exerting myself. "Um, no. I was sitting still, at rest." And his response, a confused and disbelieving, "Oooooookayyyyy..."Apparently, most of my health problems are triggered by stress. Raynaud's Syndrome, tachycardia, blah, blah, blah. And tonight is the most stressed out and upset that I've been since [the two worst moments of my life]. So make this my new #1, I gues...
Smited again by the irony gods! But I have ice cream...
2007-11-15 00:38:00 Today kind of sucked. It didn't to begin with, but then suddenly it did and then not even a peach snow cone could revive my good mood.I'm usually really pessimistic and cynical (it's a self-defense mechanism that I consciously employ to shield myself against disappointment). But the moment that I have an optimistic thought, the irony gods (they smite you just when you think you're winning and are cousins to karmic punchlines) strike me down.Smite! Crumble. Fall.Bleh. I'm going to go eat my weight in ice cream Drumsticks until things look brighter. More About: Ice Cream , Irony , Cream , Gods
The ol' ticker
2007-11-14 03:27:00 Back from the heart doctor people.When I got home today, I lifted my shirt to show H. and H. (the least favorite daughters *snickers*) the wires and monitor and everything I'm hooked up to. I walked around stiffly, like a robot and communicated via beeps for a while. Pretended to be an android, you know, the usual. Holly asked what the doctor said and I explained that he thinks I have a congenital defect in the electrical pathways of my heart (actually not a serious problem at all so no worries). Her reply:"It took them this long to figure out that you were born with something wrong with you? I've known that forever!"Uh huh. Gotta love those sisters. More About: Ticker , Tick
Balloons and soldiers and stuff
2007-11-13 05:24:00 While watching television, I just saw a short segment (regarding to Veterans Day, I think) about a woman whose husband was killed while fighting in Iraq (dumbass war). According to the story, he had always surprised his young daughter with balloons, so after his death, they wrote letters to him and sent them off ("to heaven") in helium balloons.I've always thought of balloons as being cheap and tacky (remind me of the circus which reminds me of drunken carnies which remind me of the county fairs here which remind me of manure), but that might be a nice thing to do at a funeral. Or after. Or never.I don't know. Something about it was just striking.Oh, yeah... Happy Veterans Day. Or whatever the politically correct holiday greeting is.I'm against war and all that jazz (go ahead, call me a Democrat; I'll take it as a compliment) but I do know how to respect our soldiers. I don't like what they do, but they do it proudly. I certainly wouldn't fight for this country, so I'... More About: Stuff , Balloons , Soldiers , Allo
Things about me (tagged!)
2007-11-13 00:36:00 Looks like I've been tagged by Vagabond Tramp!1. Name one person who made you laugh last night?M. I stayed over at his house last night and he never fails to make me laugh.2. What were you doing at 0800?Leaving my house to go to school (bleh).3. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?Driving home from hanging out with M. and J. Lee. (We got snow cones! Yay-ah!)4. What happened to you in 2006?I graduated, got my first real, competitive job, started college.5. What was the last thing you said out loud?Told M. to be careful and that I loved him right before I left to come home.6. How many beverages did you have today?One bottle of water, a sweet tea from the cyber cafe place, and I guess the mango snow cone counts too.7. What color is your hairbrush?One is black and one is blue. I think I have a pocket-sized purple one somewhere.8. What was the last thing you paid for?Lunch today. Ham and swiss sandwich on wheat bread with chips, pasta salad, and sweet tea.9. Where were you last nigh... More About: Tagged , Things
Equine commute
2007-11-10 19:01:00 Yesterday, me, M., and J. Lee were hanging out in the parking lot (gravel pit) at the U when we noticed... Something worth blogging. It should have seemed almost commonplace, considering the area; instead, it was scarily surreal.Boondocks University is located in the center of a rather large town, amid several busy streets. Just so you know.Well, we happened to see two men riding past the parking lot, but they weren't in cars. They were on horseback. We followed their progress down the street, laughing in amusement as they spurred their horses into a trot across a busy intersection to try to beat a red light.Only in Mississippi.Strange thing is, I've never seen anyone riding horseback through a city before. Sure, lots of people have horses around here and ride on country roads, but never within city limits. I couldn't even begin to count the number of times that I've been stuck behind slow-moving tractors or backhoes or hay-hauling farmers or cattle-hauling trailers on m... More About: Commute , Mute
KKK peace hat (WTF?)
2007-11-10 18:26:00 This was another of our flea market/thrift store finds. M. found it. It was hilarious. We bought it. But have not yet been brave enough to wear it. BY FAR THE COOLEST HAT EVER.I like it! But one would have to be careful that the everyday passerby read all of the text, and not only the prominent triple K. Eek. That could end badly.(KKKJohn Kennedy, Martin King, Robert KennedyPeace to the Nation)
Tithe if you love Jesus (anyone can honk)
2007-11-10 18:12:00 I can hear the rattle of the collection plates from here.I'd like to emphasize that this is a real church sign that I passed several times on my way to and from M.'s house before I finally decided that I just HAD to stop and snap.This is hilarious in a bad sort of way. Isn't this basically saying "Give us money if you love Jesus " or "Pay us to prove your faith?"Doesn't "tithe" mean to pay ten percent of your income to the church or something like that? Please correct me if I'm wrong*.Either way though, it is funny. I'm intrigued and vastly amused by such signs. Please don't be offended. I'm not poking fun at the church or the religion, only at the wording of their sign. And perhaps a little at the person who was in charge of inventing their sign messages.*Perhaps they meant "worship" or "pray" instead of "tithe." If that were the case, then I'd actually consider it a fairly clever sign. However, those are not the words chosen. Ergo, FEEL THE BURN, SIGN!Heh heh heh... More About: Love
Random ramblings
2007-11-08 17:49:00 I still can't hear well. I think that concert really did do permanent damage. Oh well, seeing Breaking Ben and Three Days Grace again was worth a little hearing loss. Besides, I got to cross another item off my list! The list. The list of things to do before I die list.Yay!Sitting in Steve, killing time until my science lab in an hour or so. M. and I just went for coffee. Well, coffee for him. I can't stand it (I'm more of a tea person, I think I'm actually English at heart). Yuck. I got hot chocolate. That was very, very hot. Now I can't feel the tip of my tongue, which kinda sucks.But then he had to go to class. And I'm stuck out here. Brr... It's cold.I hate the Student Union here. The cafeteria food sucks worse than the "mystery meat" (supplied by Alpo) entrees from high school. And in the lounge area, the various racial-based cliques have stare-downs to the extent that one wonders if segregation here has really ended.Gotta love the South. Wooo.I bet our... More About: Random
Deaf (what?!)
2007-11-08 00:05:00 M. and I went to the concert last night... Breaking Ben and Three Days Grace--WOOO!They are my top two favorite bands:1. Breaking Benjamin2. Three Days Grace3. Bullet For My Valentine4. Egypt Central5. 10 Years6. Everything else that I listen toMetal, metal, metal.It was loud. I know concerts usually are, but this was ridiculous(ly good)!I still can't hear, especially in my right ear.There may be permanent damage or something. Awesome!Anyway, I'm supposed to be heading over to M.'s house, so I'm blowing this popsicle stand and I'll catch you cats later.
His giant cock
2007-11-05 05:55:00 No, not that kind, you dirty perv. But speaking of chickens...If you've been keeping up then you'll know what I'm talking about... Me and M. went back to one of our thrift store haunts the other day and discovered this giant chicken statue. I made him pose with it. Chickens seem to be becoming something of a theme on here, huh?And just so you know (and because I'm slightly paranoid): I'm not such a terrible photographer that I can't do simple framing. I cropped it like this intentionally. Gotta protect my M.! More About: Giant , Cock
Thunder Kiss from a Death-Mole (rocks!)
2007-11-05 02:09:00 I'm a stranger in my own home! And to my own blog, it seems. I've spent more nights this week at M.'s house than I have at my own. Hence, I've gotten a teensy bit behind.But, here are some updates:M. and I went out on Halloween. We dressed up and everything. The original plan was for him to be a zombie and me to be the zombie hunter (I was especially fond of the idea of leading him around with a chain, but of course he wasn't) but at the last minute, he found a long blonde wig and discovered that he makes a damn good grunge rocker. So he donned the blonde wig with a baseball cap, layered black band t-shirt and plaid flannel shirt, ripped jeans, boots, etc. I was his groupie. Miniskirt, tights, ripped t-shirt, boots, purple eyeshadow, big hair, etc. I wore bright lipstick and (of course) left big lip prints all over his face. We decided that his 90's grunge metal band's name was "Thunder Kiss from a Death -Mole ." (Thanks for some of the inspiration, QC. I give credi... More About: Rocks
Narcolepsy and updates
More articles from this author:2007-11-02 15:07:00 I bet you're wondering why I'm blogging when I'm supposed to be in science class. Yep. I overslept. I'm still at home, in my pajamas, blahgging away my missed-class blahs.See, I've been on beta blockers for tachycardia for a while. But they weren't working so the dosage was doubled. They have a tendency for making some people pass out; I'm lucky, they just make me sleepy. I kept forgetting to take them, and finally just stopped since they don't help anyway (even my doctor knows this, he's referring me to an electrophysiologist (cardiologist that specializes in rhythm and heart rate patterns, I think?) to try to figure out what the problem is). Well, for some crazy reason, I decided to take one last night. And here I am now. Overslept. Those things are narcolepsy in a bottle.And, yes, I did finally finish my speech. And got a 95 on it, if I might add. An 'A' isn't bad to have written it last minute. I gots skills. Yo.Next update: Halloween. More About: Updates , Narcolepsy 1, 2, 3, 4 |
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