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The Clumsy Ninja

The Clumsy Ninja
Be witness to my quirky observations, irony, some hypocrisy, and me coming into my own.
Articles: 1, 2, 3, 4

Articles

Gahhhh
2007-10-29 03:49:00
I was so busy being a chicken that I still haven't finished my speech yet.I think I'll go smack my head against a wall repeatedly...
Bawk, bawk, BA-GAWK!
2007-10-29 03:18:00
I got sidetracked from writing my speech when Holly expressed a need for my creative genius. She wants to be a "fallen fairy" for Halloween. This entails piecing together some sort of black outfit complete with wings. So I scoured our closet and old Halloween costume items. I made her some fairy wings from bent coat hangers and black panty hose. I also found about 6 yards of black tulle fabric (ripped off of my saloon girl petticoats from my costume last year). I got really inspired and wrapped myself in it. Holly added wings at some point. And, well, one thing led to another, and I ended up impersonating a chicken.*It escalated and eventually, Holly captured part of it on video. (By the way, I'm wearing pajamas underneath the tulle, but she used her cell phone to record it, so my full ensemble is a little hard to see.)*Our neighbor keeps chickens (this is Mississippi, lots of people have pet chickens) and he used to have really adorable (but spooky) tiny black chickens. ...
Young wild things
2007-10-28 23:58:00
M. and I went to a Fall Out Boy, Gym Class Heroes, Plain White T's, and Cute Is What We Aim For show last night.It wasn't really "my" kind of music, but I had fun. It's about time I stop being such a music snob anyway. M. absolutely loves (luvs, hehe) Fall Out Boy, so of course I couldn't let him miss it!It was held in [city], in an open outdoor amphitheatre, and when the Plain White T's played "Hey There Delilah," I swear, SWEAR, that I have never heard so many people singing in unison at once. I've also never seen so many cell phones used as lights either. Possibly thousands of glowing blue cell phones were hoisted into the air, swaying back and forth like an orgy of drunken fireflies. It was quite mesmerizing. I'm fairly certain that the combined pinpricks of light were probably refracted into a great beam of surrealism that shot through the atmosphere and became visible from space. Certain. Martians everywhere are still scratching their heads (or whatever they hav...
More About: Wild , Young , Things
Fragility is beautiful
2007-10-27 06:37:00
(M. inspired this one. =) ) I lie behind you,Staring at the plains of your back.I hate it when you turn away,But I know to let sleeping cherubs lie.We sleep uneasily.Ealier's words not quite swept away.I know these thoughts will soon spill from my pen,Staining the pages of my notebook,Like drops of crimson blood,Like the words of the greats.All the greats that stole ashes from your grave,But they still achieved something less beautiful.Their attributes may outlive the crumble of dunes,The fall of chivalry, the defeat of kings.And ours is fleeting, a mere moment on delicate wings,And half painful.But it is something beautiful.They have the strength of parchment and quillsAnd legends.We have only burned rubies, blackened,Passionate diamonds in the rough.This love is frail and harder to keep alive.Likely to be scratched, shattered,Smudged with bruising fingerprints.A young rose in withering frost,Easy to adore, harder to sustain.They own the gardens.We are but careless innocents.Fragi...
More About: Beautiful
And that's when I realized...
2007-10-27 05:00:00
My mom, while talking to one of her friends about his son needing a girlfriend:"She's a good, nice girl. I've never had to bail her out of jail, she's smart, intelligent, doesn't drink, she's never even gotten a speeding ticket!"And that's when I realized...I'm boring.(But flattered!And also unavailable. Sorry boring girl seeker; I belong to M.)
Coffee creamers, coat hangers, and boobies
2007-10-27 04:51:00
Hung out with M. and J. Lee in between and after classes all day today. Very interesting, sometimes exciting!While in a coffee shop, J. Lee was waiting (rather impatiently) on a (rather slow) employee to come to the counter to take his drink order. After the employee failed to show up after several minutes of pacing, J. Lee sauntered over to the end of the counter and exclaimed:"Free shit means my shit."Then he downed several tiny individual containers of creamer. He drank them. It was beyond priceless. And also gross.Then he and M. played blackjack (and I shuffled) while we sipped our drinks and killed time.We went back to campus and walked around. Browsed the book store. M. bought J. Lee a hoodie with our school's name on it (no stalkers, please), and asked to keep its hanger.See, I have this "special" talent in which I can actually fit my entire body (head to feet or feet to head) through a coat hanger. Actually, it isn't a talent, it's being skinny, flat-chested, and ...
More About: Coffee , Boobies , Boob
Unfortunately, I would bet on it
2007-10-25 23:41:00
Last night I had to sleep in my mother's room to avoid freezing to death (I'm too lazy to link right now, just scroll down a bit and read all about it). Naturally, I didn't want to sleep on the bare floor, so I began a quest for sleeping bags, pillows, blankets, etc. I found Holly's fold-out squishy chair/mattress thing-a-ma-bob that was only slightly too short for my (relatively) tall frame. Holly often slept with her incontinent dog on that thing, so I held it up with two fingers and apprehensively asked my mother, "What are the odds that this thing is marinated in dog urine?"And her prompt answer:"Cover it with a sleeping bag first."That did not ease my apprehension. Not at all. Perhaps that is even why I had such frightening and disturbing dreams last night.Ew.
Greetings from this frigid wasteland
2007-10-25 17:54:00
Gah, it's freezing today. Not just merely cold, but pain-inducing frigid! I broke out the rain boots today since it's so cloudy and glum. And of course, it hasn't rained yet. No, I've just been tromping around in brown and pink plaid rain boots for the hell of it apparently. Actually, they could be saving my feet from frostbite (along with my two pairs of socks); I wouldn't know though, since my extremities are absolutely numb. Yes, it is hard to type.Oh goody, Crossfade just came on. "Colors." Yay! That brightens my mood a bit.Oh yeah, I'm sitting in Steve (my truck), in one of the campus parking lots (essentially a pockmarked and potholed gravel pit) trying to kill time until my next class starts. Steve has a heater and I am taking advantage of it.I had Donner Party math class today. I'm sure glad that I'm skinny. Heh heh heh. (The fat ones get eaten first when cannibalism urges strike!) It was sooooo cold in that classroom; I assumed someone just forgot to ...
More About: Wasteland
Blanket apology
2007-10-25 01:40:00
My apologies in advance for the last post. Even though it is my blog, I'll be nice. =)But seriously. Sorry.
More About: Blanket , Apology , Polo
Rain, rain; go away (damnit!)
2007-10-25 00:22:00
It has been raining for three straight days! And it is suddenly cold. Last week, it was like 70-90F all week, hot and sunny. This week it's 40-50F, cold and wet and disgusting and miserable. If it doesn't stop by morning, I'm breaking out the tacky rain boots. Nothing sexier than galoshes!On a different topic, my speech class has suddenly become a class on theology and politics. One particular student (who happens to be nursing a grudge for the teacher) keeps badmouthing and otherwise attacking the poor professor. Okay, guess I shouldn't demonize him like that... I'll concede, the teacher is rather pompous and strong-willed; but in that whole "be-that-as-it-may" theme, he is an elder and a teacher and therefore deserves at least a pretense of respect... Instead of thinly veiled mockery and sarcasm and attack of his beliefs (for no legitimate reason).The student feels he has a right to constantly start these things because our teacher used to be a preacher. But now he...
More About: Rain
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