The Clumsy NinjaThe Clumsy NinjaBe witness to my quirky observations, irony, some hypocrisy, and me coming into my own. 
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Ew, this post is STICKY
2010-12-31 19:00:00 Useful tidbits of current information:Exam schedule:Mon1:00 - MathTue8:00 - MusicWed1:00 - Speech Thu8:00 - Science 1:00 - Lit. (Exempt!)DONE! More About: Post , Icky , Tick
Ew, this post is STICKY!
2010-12-31 07:00:00 I'm starting to get considerable traffic from all over the world! Lots of different people from lots of different places. But only a handful ever reveal themselves or write. And that makes me sad.Leave a random comment, just say "hey," leave thoughts and opinions, tell me what you think about the site... It's easy! Just click below on "# stepped forth to answer" and type away!And then I'll be happy again! More About: Post
Okay, so I lied
2008-04-02 23:08:00 Vacation is over, I guess. But I'm still going to keep things light.Feel free to email though. It's always nice to get mail.Except spam and bills. More About: Lied
Puts the "leche" in "lecherous"
2008-04-02 23:05:00 Psych teacher: "During this stage of language development, children speak in one-word sentences. They can only communicate one word at a time. If a child walked up and said, "Milk, milk..." it could mean that they wanted milk, they were out of milk, they saw milk, they--"Girl who talks too much: "Or maybe they see a cow and want to milk it."Me: "Maybe they see Pamela Anderson and... Um, yeah..."I'm glad I didn't say that very loudly.I love that class.
FYI
2008-04-02 03:08:00 I may be taking a vacation from blogging. I'm not sure yet, but I need to keep my personal life personal and I'm too much of a whiner (and a complainer and a bitcher) to be trusted with something as liberating as a blog. I'm not sure how long the hiatus will be but I think it will be for the best.Check in though, if you want. I could just be lying and not even realize it yet.
You try to do something when you no longer exist; it's harder than you migh
2008-03-31 05:02:00 Holly: "Why can't dodo birds fly?"Me: "Because they're extinct. Der." More About: Exist
Just give me the whole bottle
2008-03-31 00:48:00 I need another one of those white grape vodka things.(And I typically don't even drink.Who would have thought that I'd like Rain? I hate vodka, but I can't even taste Rain. Which is awesome.)I want more. More About: Give , Bottle
I imagine gnawing on animal bones, but maybe that's just me
2008-03-31 00:24:00 Wild animal crunch?The boxes are cute I guess, but I still imagine the sounds of a vulture ripping through the flesh of crunchy festering carrion. More About: Animal , Bones , Imagine
Overwhelmed, underwhelmed, just all around whelmed
2008-03-30 23:39:00 I've been staying at my aunt's house. A huge ordeal came up Wednesday night; I didn't intend to end up here, but she invited me. We stayed up until after 2 AM flaming Gay Ray and sorting out problems. I actually stayed at home the next couple of nights, but those afternoons, I was with my aunt at her office on my future campus.(Still famous around there, too. I already have possible stalkers, probably. Because my aunt brags constantly about my nonexistent brain.)Yesterday, after a series of angry messages to and from my mother regarding Gay Ray, I ended up here again. She thinks I'm being a horrible daughter but she hasn't seen what's going on. Gay Ray may be stupid but he does have enough sense to avoid being caught.When I leave to take Holly back home (she was here with us debating last night and helping us taste vodka), I'm contemplating stocking up on some clothes and miscellaneous toiletries and moving in for a few days.She bought us FOOD. Groceries! Oh my goodn... More About: Overwhelmed
Too bad there isn't really a secret recipe
2008-03-30 03:09:00 Half a can of white grape sodaHandful of ice cubesSplash of Rain vodkaBlender+ One cool aunt_________________________Depression home remedy?I wish.Where is everyone?! I'm bored, people! You know, my readers, you only exist for my own amusement. You don't have real lives! You aren't real people! You are here to serve me! Submit to my power! Do it! More About: Recipe , Secret , Secret Recipe
Just teach me fucking geography, damnit! (Reason #67,542,558)
2008-03-29 19:56:00 NOW, my geography teacher is praising Communism and telling his students that we should all admire and embrace Communist theory. As opposed to earlier this semester.(I understand that there is a big difference between actual, applied Communism and Communist theory, but does he?)So not only is he a dumbass, he's also a hypocrite. No. Actually, he's too stupid to engage in hypocrisy. And I didn't even think that was possible.I embraced Communist theory a long, long, long time ago.I'm a Moderate Libertarian Marxist Communist with Green Party tendencies, remember? More About: Reason , Fucking , Geography
FAQ
2008-03-29 19:44:00 Ask me a question and I'll try to answer it. Pretty self-explanatory.Anything you've ever wondered about me? About my life? The people in it? Etc.?Ask me (virtually) anything. Depending upon the nature of the questions, I will either compile them into an interesting just-for-fun post or I will create a permanent FAQ link in the sidebar.
Will motor oil keep the irony gods at bay?
2008-03-29 04:34:00 Steve (my truck-slash-metallic love affair) has had a 30,000 mile warranty. So you all know what this means...Steve is about to die a slow, painful death. Why? Because the irony gods fucking hate me.Oh shit.(Edit: No, the speedometer needle is not at zero; yes, I was driving when I took those photos; yes, small children were run over/injured/mutilated/killed. Got a problem with that?Another dead giveaway is the fact that the little 'd' stands for DRIVE.) More About: Motor , Irony , Gods
The last one tonight, I promise
2008-03-28 04:10:00 I think I may start taking this blog in a different direction. Too much needless commentary on my boring life. There's drama everywhere and I'm tired of dwelling on it. I think I might...I don't know what. But maybe it will be awesome? Politics and world affairs? Literature critiques? Tasty recipes? Porn? Ha! Gotcha! Pervs.Or maybe I'm just lying. Can I really stop whining? Psh! I doubt it. More About: Tonight , Promise
What a dumb rule
2008-03-28 03:58:00 This is the best White Ninja comic EVER. More About: Dumb , Rule
And this kind of thinking is the whole problem
2008-03-28 03:23:00 Sometimes I hate my life.It really sucks to feel that someone feels this way about me:And that it's all my fault.Breaking the cycle? I have no idea. More About: Problem , Thinking
Kind of like Einstein, only not at all
2008-03-28 02:57:00 I met my aunt at school in which she teaches (coincidentally that also shares a campus with my transfer school) to once again embark on an epic journey to find... A friggin' place to live.I walked into her office to find her entertaining one of her students. She introduced us and he said, "OH! So this is your niece!"Um. Okay. Cool.We left her office and literally everyone that passed us stopped to exclaim over THE FAMOUS NIECE.One guy's salutation included "So you're the genius! Nice to meet you."A girl, "Are you really a prodigy?"WHAT LIES HAS SHE BEEN FEEDING YOU PEOPLE?!I'm neither a genius nor a prodigy. (Just ask my blog readers.)I'm just a nerd, people.Apparently all she does is spout off wonderful things (wonderful--yes, truthful--no) about me. Which is flattering but... It's giving people false impressions of me. Now when I transfer, I have to be some ubergenius. Yeah, right. I can't live up to those expectations!Okay, so I'm reallytrulyohwow flattered. ... More About: Einstein
Is it narcissistic if I inspire myself?
2008-03-26 02:35:00 Holly and I have been leaving rude messages for Ray on the little family message board. My last one proclaiming our hatred resulted in a lot of angry door-slamming. So... I decided to be a little more covert. It's really more my style anyway. Also, my last post inspired me somewhat. Gay Ray can't read Chinese, I'm sure, but I'm sure my hatred and sarcasm (secretly evil smiley face) won't be completely lost on him, stupid as he is.您吮。我恨您。事假。(I can't really read Chinese. I'm not THAT cool.) More About: Inspire
我是蠢货
2008-03-26 02:05:00 If I were a guy, which I'm obviously not, then I'd be one of those annoying types harboring an unhealthy obsession with Asian girls.(I can feel my friends of Asian descent tensing up already. Rest assured. I won't kidnap and/or rape and/or bind and/or torture you. Reassured? Poo.)But tell me that Ramiele Malubay isn't the cutest thing ever? I hate, HATE, American Idol with a fiery burning passion (do they make an ointment for that?) but she actually makes it a little more bearable.I'm so envious. I wish I looked like her. Alas."Scandalous" photos and all.Not like I ever keep up with celebrity gossip or anything. Psh. Um, right. Exit cue!
Almost as bad as the night I transformed into a chicken
2008-03-25 17:28:00 This is why I don't sing. Don't click the link. You don't want to hear me singing a song about mold. As my stepfather would say, I can't carry a tune in a bucket. With a lid.Trust me."Fungus Among Us"Written and performed by meThere's a fungus among usIt's mean,And it's greenIt grows 'til it's humongousAnd makes me want to singA fungusAmong us.(Yeah!) More About: Night , Chicken
Currently untitled
2008-03-25 03:31:00 Just a few warnings: Not a novella and it kinda blows.... Oh, that the thorns could pierce his heart. He longed to bleed away his despair. The dry leaves of the rose whispered against his stiff white shirt. He walked away, shivering. He hoped her family remembered that she wanted her ashes scattered in the bay. Although, for the life of him, he didn’t know why. Charlie always was odd. It was what he had liked about her. No. He couldn’t think of her just yet. Groping for a distraction, he inspected the rose. The frail petal edges were already turning brown but he just couldn’t bring himself to toss it away. He glanced up at the sky, expecting grey clouds. Isn’t that what the movies were all like? The sun brought tears to his eyes. Looking back down, he saw the priest, bestowing kind words. He wondered if any of them knew Charlie’s fate. The priest… The irony. Stone angels watched over them, but they may as well have been stony faced gargoyles baring...
Homeless again
2008-03-25 02:55:00 Did I mention that I may be moving (for real this time)? Yep. I'm transferring to a senior college at the end of this semester (speaking of which, I need to apply and get my transcripts sent really soon). However... The nearest branch is 53.7 miles away. That is more than 106 miles of driving each day. I can't do that. My aunt (that I previously disowned) is a professor on that campus (though she actually teaches for another branch school that merely shares the same campus) and she has to move closer too. Guess I'll be rooming with her.If we can find a house/apartment/mobile home/cardboard box/etc. to rent. So far, we have um... Nothing.Cross your fingers for me? It looks like I'm going to be homeless again. More About: Homeless
Hate beads
2008-03-25 01:32:00 Fun with beads. Angry arts and crafts. Holly and I were bored. And oh so slightly enraged. More About: Hate , Beads
Happy Easter
2008-03-23 17:12:00 I've been craving Cadbury eggs. You can bet I'm going to be tearing into some here in a minute too.In other news, my mom totally came through for me this Easter ! I wasn't even expecting to wake up to a goodie-filled Easter basket (after all, I'm nearly a college junior) so I definitely wasn't prepared for this:One of my favorite movies ever! When did they release that on DVD? My VHS copy is older than me and practically shredded by millions of views in our dinosaur VCR.Guess what I'm going to be watching this afternoon? I wasn't lying about being a unicorn fanatic. I've even been thinking about starting another tumblr just to showcase my unicorns.But that's another obsession for another day.Go forth and mutilate some Peeps, my peeps. Gorge on Cadbury eggs until you vomit. And hide hardboiled Easter eggs inside your house so when you can't find them... Well, let's just say you hope no company shows up for a while. Not until you can buy stock in Febreeze anyway.Ti... More About: Happy
Odd
2008-03-21 20:42:00 M. and I were at S.'s house last night, just killing time, eating pizza, hanging out, etc. Imagine our surprise when a baby duck came waddling into the room."So have you guys met Jake yet?""Jake?"Ah. Jake.That thing crapped all over the place. With every awkward waddling step. All over the couch. And the floor. And S.'s girlfriend.M. and I fully expect S. to grow tired of its incessant quacking. We'll walk in one day to find a plate containing the bony remains of miniature barbecue wings.Duck al'orange, anyone?
From snow to sunshine
2008-03-09 06:19:00 I wore flip flops a couple of days ago. Flip flops! It was 70F! But. Mississippi was one of the states hit by the big snow storm. We got a whopping half foot of snow, the most I have ever seen. Seriously. It hasn't snowed that much in at least a decade. It was awesome!(I'm sure all my "yankee" readers are laughing their asses off right now too.)M. and I totally pwned at snowball fighting. We both fight dirty so the battle had to end early with a (kind of) truce. Mostly because he kept getting me right in the face (and EYES) with snow and I chose to retaliate with hard-packed ice balls. Heh heh heh. I ate so much snow it isn't even funny.His dad made snow cream and we nearly died from sugar highs. Death by sugar coma isn't a bad way to go though. =)I was in awe at the beauty of all that pure whiteness. It was just like living in the actual mountains (instead of at the very bottom of the "foothills").I'll be an old woman with grandkids and meter-long, sagging bre--... More About: Sunshine , Snow
Fishbait
2008-03-07 18:03:00 Lab partner: "So, Mr. Astro Teacher, how are you spending your spring break?"Astronomy teacher: "Well, I think I'm going to teach my son how to cast. He's only three and he's a good fisher already, but he doesn't quite have the hand-eye coordination to cast yet. We're going to spend a lot of time at my parents' pond."Lab partner: "Do you ever get mad that he catches bigger fish than you? I bet he's catching giant catfish and dropping them back and you don't catch um... ANY!"Astronomy teacher: "Well, I usually catch a few. He did once catch a little bass when we were bream fishing though."Lab partner: "Bream? Did you know that bream bite? They do. They bite nipples. Nearly bit my nipples clean off!"Astronomy teacher nearly hyperventilated from laughing. Okay, so that's a gross exaggeration. It was still funny as hell.If you've never been bream (pronounced "brim" in my neck of the woods) fishing then I pity you. Even I like bream fishing. They ALWAYS bite a...
Crazy bitch in black and white
More articles from this author:2008-03-06 05:06:00 Yay. More About: White , Crazy , Black , Bitch , Black and White 1, 2, 3, 4 |
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